Warning- contains coarse language and violence, most likely adult themes as well and possible drug use and sex, read at own risk
Disclaimer- Can't think of anything remotely witty, help me.
"The Living cannot understand the benefits of death." -Chaeska, Keeper of tresserhorn
---
Incept- Musing upon his Tendrils and hearts
A fascinating concept I came up with that dealt with my own mortality or as of now 'lack there of' was of the nature of the cells in the body itself, Many would believe that when you heal you become as good as new and that things such as age and aging are entirely separate to the replication of cells
Entirely false
Cells when they divide and replicate become less then what they were previously and while the change is minimal that it is almost possible to detect it is there.
Regeneration on the other hand differs from replication in that when it divides a cell it causes no lasting damage, not becoming weaker nor changing and becoming stronger.
To understand this one must first understand how cells get damaged in the first place, one of the many 'how's' of cells becoming damage is simple physical exertion, this is present even as early as a child inside its mothers womb
The child would cause micro tears in its muscles, these tears will cause cells to replicate and strengthen the body hardening it to the exertion as a new born's muscles are so weak that it is quite impossible for them to even lift their own head on their shoulders
Ninja train and hone their muscles for the same reason, more muscle means more strength, more speed and stamina as well as creating a form of defence based on these muscles as a Taijutsu master's muscles grow to a density that even kunai have trouble breaking the skin
I had found such a fact of cell replication and realised the weakness my body would become if I created Tendrils that would break down and become weaker over time then I would eventually lose simply due to time, but if I created tendrils that didn't decay, that didn't become weaker over time then I would have secured immortality
My first technique was imperfect and weak in design, I had devised a technique where I transferred my soul and essence into another, this research was thankfully stolen from me by the traitorous former leaf ninja Orochimaru
It was good that he had taken my findings as it could of very well lead to my own demise and realising my mistake I had delved even deeper into forbidden Kinjutsu and cell manipulation
My second technique was much better but still far too flawed, I had met a clan of, how do I put it 'rather weak ninja' who had little talent beyond their stealth, something most ninja excelled at anyway and could easily be detected by any half competent ninja, knowing of my skill they allowed themselves to be experimented on, A pity they were still failures in my eyes
By simply taking nutrients from their body they were able to regenerate cells damaged, but amongst the hundreds of the clan only a few could make any use of this technique as most lost the ability to mold chakra or had an unstable reaction and their cells reproduced without their control creating cancerous growths that quickly killed them weeks after first symptoms
I found myself at a dilemma as I had hit a wall my first two types of experiments were failures as they lacked a key ingredient, like a left arm and a right arm they both needed to be present in equal amounts to make a success
My research delved further, deeper into uncharted territory, I had come across a most peculiar animal, a sea turtle that's cells didn't decay with each replication but unlike the regeneration I had created which simply cloned the same cell the turtle's replication 'gave birth' to two entirely new cells and gave it a stable ground work to which it could live and grow
Splicing the turtle's cells with my tendril kinjutsu proved successful as it allowed both the hearts I held and the majority of my body to function without the burden of cellular decay or need of other organs besides the heart.
---
"Good news Kakuzu" The mysterious 'Leader' of Akatsuki spoke sounding a cross between self satisfied arrogance as well as an almost jovial banter, you could feel his smirk one both of triumph and sadistic humour
Kakuzu frowned noticing a new arrival of a man with silvery blond hair and a scowl worse then a grumpy Uchiha
"Seeing as you 'exhumed' your last partner I decided to take it upon myself to get you another one, one that will last while 'costing' us less"
"Damn don't fucking talk about me like I ain't even in this shit awful room you porcupine headed asshole"
Kakuzu blink blinked in slight surprise, the silver headed man had just bad mouthed the leader and managed to fit more swear words in a single sentence then he thought possible and the man was still standing and hadn't been killed
"My sincerest apologies Hidan, may I introduce to you your partner Kakuzu, Kakuzu this is Hidan"
"Fuck your fucking apologies Leader-teme you sound like a fucking twat and You" the newly dubbed Hidan said before pointing at Kakuzu "Fuck you too you fucking heathen I bet your pathetic shitless god doesn't even let you kill people you piss weak wanker and don't think hiding behind a dress and mask will save you either fag"
The comedic value of Hidan's cussing was quickly wearing off as Kakuzu was steadily getting more and more annoyed his skin changing colour from a slight tanned look to an extremely dark red brown as his eyes flashed a dangerous murderous gleam
For such an incredibly large man Kakuzu moved faster then a swallow in mid-flight being upon Hidan in just under a second an arm raised ready to deliver an earth shattering blow
"Holy shit what are you-" SLAM A very large depression in Hidan's skull became apparent as Kakuzu floored the holy man idly wiping his bloodied fist on his cloak and turning away
"What the fuck did you do that for you green eyed psycho" Stopping mid step Kakuzu turned back around only to see the person he previously thought dead as his brain should be seeping out of his ears right out now along with his vertebrae being lodged somewhere close to his eyes
He seemed right about the damage to the body, small bits of gray matter were indeed dribbling out of a busted eardrum and the holy man was trying to adjust his skull back into place with a series of sickening pops and cracks that were tearing his skull back up through his neck all the while creating a bloody mess all over the ground
"And I just got my fucking hair dyed too you fucking bastard do you know how many people I had to kill before I found a hairdresser willing to style a missing nin"
Kakuzu sighed it appeared to be just one of those days
---
Elsewhere back in Konoha Naruto sat with the package Danzo had given him unwrapped in his lap, it was a plain brown leather carry case reminiscent of the type of bag used by civilian school children to carry books and supplies to each class but why had Danzo given him such a thing
Unbuttoning the metallic clasps along its side Naruto gingerly opened it up wary of its inside contents if any at all, he didn't believe himself to be overcautious in this action as one too many times he'd reached out in trust only to be savagely mauled by betrayal
The first thing he removed was a plain one hundred and twenty eight page notebook, having no label of any sort Naruto opened the book to a random page, his entire body reeled back slightly in surprise at the contents, page after page of academy revision notes all written in perfect handwriting along with side notes and comments, it was everything anyone needed to know to ace 'any' test handed out from jutsu use to the proper method to sharpen a shuriken
He put aside the notebook and reached back inside the bag his hand grasping something cold and hard and removed it from the bag his eyes widening in shock as he realised what it was, a knife a tanto to be precise typically used by Yakuza families whose honour was nearly as important as a Samurai's
Its handle was smooth to the touch and made from some type of redwood, its sheath was made from the same wood as the handle making it look like a simple wooden sword when sheathed, gently drawing it from its holding Naruto was once again marvelled at the elegance
The blade though dull like tarnished silverware was magnificent in that the folded metal of the blade reflected no light but the tarnish waved and swirled along its length clearly showing the multitudes of folds used in its creation strengthening it beyond the typical power of a normal cast forged kunai
'Amazing this, this would have cost a fortune to make but what's this written here'
Inscribed on a corner of the blade next to the handle were the words 'my soul bringith forth the element'
'Weird'
Was Naruto's thought and without noticing it he cut his finger on its sharp surface, that is until the blade of the knife gouted forth a torrent of water brackish and thin like diluted mud
He continued to watch idly noting that a thin stream of chakra was pouring into the blade from the previously overlooked cut, the cut was quickly healing itself, much quicker then he was used to
'Maybe my changes had something to do with this, or something like that'
Waiting a few seconds before he forced his chakra to stop supplying the knife with energy Naruto watched in satisfaction as the water dissipated into mist before disappearing all together
"Wonder what else is in here" the blue eyed youth muttered his hand reaching back into the bag pulling out a folded piece of paper, a map of town with directions to Danzo's area along with marks indicating 'safe houses'
Along with the map was a small leather bag filled with different coloured lollies and sweets 'no' thought Naruto 'not lollies, there're soldier pills
He recognised the pills seconds after he labelled them as sweets, one of the lectures of one of his previous academy teachers had stuck in his head quite well as it had been one of the few parts of his schooling that he found interesting
The teacher's name was asu-something or other, he couldn't exactly remember what he looked like only that the man was kinda oldish and had a beard, but it wasn't his features that had struck him it was the way he way treated by him
The man had seemed to pity him how he looked at him with sad eyes like he was looking at something no one else had seen
The first thing he had told Naruto after finding him behind the school academy, beaten up but happy as he had given as good as he got against a group of children twice his size, literary, as because of malnutrition his size was even now roughly half that of his peers, he had told Naruto 'that which does not kill you makes you stronger'
He had also mentioned that the weak needed something to give them strength and that it was alright to rely on something to pull through harsh times, he had mentioned thing that some people turned to alcohol or cigarettes to help them get through problems, he had gone on to explain that everything could be attributed to conflict and war
Each problem was like a fight and occasionally a ninja would find themselves in a fight that they couldn't win with strength alone and they would need the extra strength provided from soldier pills, each pill was as diverse as the chemicals used to make them
'Heh I suppose this is Danzo's way of saying I can rely on him or something'
Feeling suddenly tired Naruto flopped back onto his hospital bed closing his eyes and drifting off into slumber
---
End chapter
I based the turtle off a real life type of turtle that could live for hundreds of years, the only way it would die would be for it to be killed by an animal, starvation or it would simply continue to grow so big that its organs couldn't keep it alive and would die of heart failure it literary couldn't die from old age because its cells don't deteoriate
The part about Orochimaru- Researchers steal off other researchers all the time taking credit for things they really didn't do and I wouldn't put it above Orochimaru to take something of someone else nor would I put it past any ninja to do so as in the end anything's fair game
People go on about stealing things with the Sharingan and how its wrong but to be honest I would probably do exactly the same thing, I would copy every little thing from mannerisms to fighting styles and face it who wouldn't cause being noble is all fine and good but being dead cause you didn't think ahead and copy something with a simple blink of your eyes would be worse, this however doesn't absolve my hatred for Sasuke