Thank you, Gryphaena, for saying such nice things about the story and the web site! I do wish more people enjoyed the story and maybe these two chapters will help with that.

PHASE II

Orphan in the storm, that's a role I've played before.

I've learned not to tremble when I hear the thunder roar.

I don't curse what I can't change, I just play the hand I'm dealt.

When they lighten up the rations, I tighten up my belt.

I won't say I've never felt the pain. But I am not a stranger to the rain.

Chapter 6

The last stasis unit activated. Ten Vulcan-Romulan hybrids froze in time.

Spock stood next to Kirk behind a plexiglass window, watching as McCoy, T'Ahiyya, and Rrelthiz carefully checked each unit's readings once more. McCoy's face bore stubble and the dark circles under his eyes had returned. Rrelthiz's skin began to grow tight at the joints from drying, and even T'Ahiyya showed signs of tiring after the days' long shifts being pulled by the medical team.

But the ten worst cases were now safely kept from progressing any further. If only the disease's source and cure could be dealt with so easily.

He glanced around to the people gathered in the small observation room. Sorel stood across on the other side, finishing his briefing and opening the floor to questions. Spock had given a summary of his own research immediately before Sorel.

Each person here was a family member or friend of a hybrid now in stasis, and came here to support the person they knew as he or she prepared to – sleep, for lack of a better term. Once these family members and friends were enclosed in this room, they asked for updates on prognosis, treatment, and the search for a cause. That included the responsible party who created the disease. Spock wished he had more to tell them. The cursory search amongst prejudicial groups revealed nothing, and no word was heard yet from the Romulan sources. No one could make contact deep enough into the Empire to begin searching there. The agents buried amongst the Romulans couldn't be asked without it getting back to Starfleet or the Federation Council.

The only satisfaction found in this meeting so far was the fact so many willingly came out of sincere concern.

"We are beginning transfusion treatments today on two of the Phase III patients," Sorel reported. "In Strahinja's case, his cousin has volunteered and for Kf'iskjyk, her half-brother. We believe we will know if the transfusions have any chance for success within one day."

One Vulcan signaled he had a question. "What steps have been taken regarding security? As we have seen, the disease is a deliberate attack. Those responsible may choose a more direct method of violence in the future."

Spock chose to answer and indicated this to Sorel. "On your entrance today, you saw the precautions in place against such an event. All patient rooms including the ward and the stasis amphitheater are Restricted Access only and are under constant surveillance. We know this hinders your ability to see your family members and are gratified by your cooperation."

"Spock," another voice asked, an elderly woman. She rose to her feet with the assistance of her son, or possibly her grandson. However, once standing, she did so strongly on her own. "--do you believe the responsible party is here on Vulcan?"

All heads swiveled in his direction, but they were too disciplined to murmur amongst themselves. The question disturbed them and he knew why.

"We have not ruled out the possibility that the disease is caused by the Romulans and was instilled during birth or childhood for reasons unknown. If this theory proves true, anyone responsible is behind the Neutral Zone."

An almost imperceptible relaxing swept through them, except for Sorel who knew the rest.

"However, if the theory is false, then we believe at least part of the responsible group is here, whether it'd be Romulan agents or a prejudicial assembly within the Federation. The reason we believe this is obvious. The first hybrids attacked are those that live here."

The tension returned. Somewhere on peaceful Vulcan, killers hid themselves. Perhaps even the Sundered themselves.

The same woman pointedly looked at Kirk. "Is Starfleet involved?"

Even without his uniform, they knew whom he was and what he at least used to do. He stepped forward to answer her. He didn't smile as he usually would in these circumstances. With Vulcans, the gesture was pointless and perhaps condescending. "No, it's not. Dr. McCoy and I are here as a personal matter under Ambassador Sarek's special request. That is all that Starfleet Command and the Federation Council know about it. In addition, Dr. McCoy, Healer Rrelthiz, and I are the only non-Vulcans involved in this emergency, and we each have sworn privacy agreements." He didn't include Daniel Corrigan because the man was one of the Vulcans by citizenship, his commitment to Sorel, and his marriage to T'Mir. "We are generally on a 'need to know' basis."

Spock moved to speak, but it wasn't necessary. The woman said, "No one questions your integrity, James Kirk, son of..."

"George," he supplied.

"James, son of George, and I am gratified by your respect and understanding for my question."

As she sat, Kirk stepped back next to Spock. Now he smiled. "It took a few decades, but I got them eating out of my hand."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

The questions weren't over. A young Vulcan male stood. "Healer Sorel, I am curious. Certain items of the disease appear to parallel events in the lives of the hybrids. Have you noticed this and what do you believe it suggests?"

"We have noticed them," Sorel replied evenly, although suggesting they hadn't noticed bordered on rudeness. "Specifically the thirteen months following Phase II and how death is caused in Phase III. The latter and how it paralleled the hybrid deaths on Thieurrull was the first point we noticed."

Kirk whispered as quietly as possible to Spock. "The thirteen months?"

He replied, "The gestation period for a Vulcan pregnancy."

"Damn, that is interesting."

"However," Sorel continued, "we do not know why these parallels exist, especially as no equivalent has been found for Phase I."

"Surely two phases corresponding to actual events cannot be a coincidence?" the questioner argued.

"Most likely not."

"Then should not your resources focus on the Phase I parallel? If you discover it, you may find the cause."

"The thought occurred to us," Sorel replied.

The younger man took breath to speak again, but his family, as surreptitiously as possible, pulled him back into his seat.

Kirk grinned and spoke from the corner of his mouth. "Every group has an eager beaver."

Spock had a ready reply, but never said it as McCoy came close to the window and spoke over the intercom. "All the patients are stable, Sorel, and the units are working well."

The Vulcan healer asked if anyone else had a question, and when they didn't, everyone was excused. Quietly, the families and friends filtered out, some stopping for a moment at the window, even putting a hand on it, before leaving.

Kirk exhaled loudly. "Dammit, Spock, we have to find something!"

Spock followed into the amphitheater. Kirk didn't need to make that statement anymore than he needed to answer it. He did anyway. "Agreed."

The stasis unit displays glowed with the name of the person inside as well as their steady biosigns. The unconscious bodies, imprisoned physically and in time, combined with the medical sterility in the room to give off the atmosphere of a morgue.

McCoy ground the heels of his hands into his tired eyes. "I wish I felt like this was a victory."

"It is ten less deaths, Leonard. In our current situation, it is a victory." Sorel's calm steadied the others less so in the room. "I will check on our transfusion preparations. Leonard?"

"I'm checking on Jdehn, Arik, and Mehkai. They're coming out of Phase I today, and I'd like T'Ahiyya to come with me and run over their current status. You coming, Rrelthiz?"

Spock walked away from the Carreon's close proximity to the closest stasis unit and peered in at the sleeping form. He felt Leonard McCoy's knowing eyes follow him.

Rrelthiz spoke. "No, if you do not mind. Saavik's symptoms are indeed Phase II. It is expected, although I wished it otherwise." Her tail lashed in agitation. No one saw Spock straighten. "I will examine her. Perhaps she may show us something new, something we missed with the first ones. Some time has passed, after all, since they became ill with this."

Spock saw the dark, slumbering Sohan's face was finally at peace. Artificial, temporary, but peace. Spock thought of all it would take to make that tranquility permanent for Sohan and the others, and they were no closer to a solution, not one step.

And yet, putting aside his concern over the disease, Spock yearned for such peace himself.

Rrelthiz was too painful a reminder of the past, of that mission on Enterprise where he had first met her. That mission was a turning point with an unknowing Saavik, and the later letter he purportedly received from her.

He recalled in vivid detail how she looked in the restaurant.

Did she not say anything then because she felt as he did, frozen in a moment where words could not be found? Or did she actually reject him? Despite lack of proof, he believed the theory behind the letters and cancelled transfer must be correct. And yet... did Saavik take this opportunity to keep him out of her life?

He could not explain even to himself how much that thought hurt. Better to think she was also at a loss over how to close their rift, how to heal the ugly gash still visible from the wall driven between them. Impossible to suddenly start speaking again as casually as if it never existed.

However, each day deepened the chasm and if one of them didn't make a move towards the other, it would broaden until it was insurmountable.

If she came to him, he would listen to whatever she said. If she didn't come to him –

What if... Some small inner voice whispered. What if they did heal their rift and she found out the truth in his letter? What if she did reject him for real this time? That… he could not even think about.

"After the examination, Healer," Sorel said, "you must attend your mud baths."

Rrelthiz sighed with a hiss and a rattle of her tongue. "Drier than I thought, your air. I will attend myself, thank you, Sorel. Afterwards, I will join you. Tu'ong reports a possibility, correct?"

"Correct. We will meet you then."

The comm panel whistled, and Sarek's voice came over it. Kirk answered.

Sarek spoke immediately. "Is my son with you?" Spock's ears strained to detect the tone.

Kirk glanced over his shoulder and frowned. "Yes. We were watching the stasis process."

"I require his presence in my office."

It was an order. Kirk's eyebrows rose to the ceiling. "Is there a problem?"

Amanda's voice came over the panel, and Spock perceived her anxiety despite the careful way she spoke. "Commodore Paul Michan contacted us."

"And it has to do with Spock?"

"One piece of his news does. Spock, if you can hear me, it's important. We, we need to see you immediately."

Spock signaled agreement, and Kirk relayed it even as he silently said he was clueless as to what was going on.

McCoy snapped his fingers. "Jim, it's got to be about the transfer. You said you asked Michan to look into it."

Spock felt Kirk's probing gaze on him.

"But why ask for you?" Kirk wondered aloud.

"Could--" McCoy paused. "Could Michan have found out about you digging into the Neutral Zone? Or the bigots that may be behind all this?"

"Speculation," Spock said, "is illogical when we may discover the answer simply by going to Sarek's office."

"Good point. You coming, Bones?"

"No. I got work here, but let us know if they found the guilty party, Jim."

"Will do. Spock." Out of old habit, Kirk led the way out the door, and Spock followed with no word. His father's tone and his mother's anxiety played on his mind. He doubted this was caused by something as simple as Commodore Michan calling with news. After all, everyone involved with the disease expected the worst in regards to the people behind its creation. Surely his parents wouldn't react so strongly over expected information.

As soon as they entered the office, Spock knew his assumption was correct. Sarek was thunderous. He rarely saw his father this incensed, and his mother… Amanda's back was turned towards her husband, but at the sound of the door, she glanced quickly at Spock with so many fearful emotions, they ravaged the quiet in the room.

He made a leap to a conclusion, and his regimented mind clamped on it, filling in the necessary steps: Michan – the investigation -- Cartwright's records – Valeris – his parents' reaction.

He knew what this was. He thought the matter settled – he glanced at Kirk and corrected the thought. He had been convinced the matter was settled, but that was a mistake. He knew better than Jim about these matters, but when the issue never surfaced before, he illogically thought it was resolved.

Michan was on the comm station, waiting, and lit up on seeing Kirk move in front. "Got good news for you, Jim! I didn't just call with the bad stuff. I found the botched transfers."

Plural? Spock thought.

Kirk was asking the same thing. "Transfers?" He stressed the ending 's'.

But Michan didn't hear it. "Yeah. The first one was done informally, right? Someone just told you they already had a replacement for Sulu ready to go."

"That's right," Kirk answered carefully.

Spock took a moment to check his father. Sarek paid no attention to the current conversation, and the dark clouds still filled his expression. Amanda had turned away, her arms clutching herself.

Michan was talking. "No paper trail ever got started because the transfer was killed so early. Seems we got a request from a Vulcan family asking that the transfer not go through. They had ties pretty high up, and at the same time – wait, oh here it is. Cartwright notes that Lieutenant Valeris had just started as Captain Spock's protegeé. Long story short, they put through the Vulcan family's request, gave you somebody else, and when it was time, cancelled the second transfer more officially and got it all set up for this Valeris to come on board."

Kirk glanced around, and when no one said anything, asked the question himself. "What Vulcan family?"

Michan remembered just in time that his connection was in Sarek's office. "Uh… excuse me if I don't say this right. Ub – ekwlk—

Spock saved him the trouble, pronouncing it flawlessly. For the first time, Sarek and Amanda paid attention.

Michan sighed in relief. "That's it."

"Whose family is that?"

"Valeris'," Amanda answered.

Kirk was more surprised than they were. "Would they do that?"

"Yes," Spock said.

"Why?"

Sarek replied. "Valeris and her family are… estranged. If she sought their help with a path that took her off Vulcan, they would agree. More likely, she simply used their name and connections to put the request through."

Spock waited. This was not the problem his father called him here for. It was only a temporary reprieve.

Still, he felt the pain surrounding this new revelation. Saavik was betrayed not once, but twice by Valeris, someone she at one time considered a friend. In fact, Saavik brought Valeris to him, and by doing so, without them knowing it, their rift was put into motion.

Possibly helped by Valeris' family who did it to be further rid of her. He almost… almost felt pity, which meant a great deal with the weight of her crimes on the other end of the scale. Then, as he thought again of what Michan must have said earlier, he felt shame.

And they now had proof about Saavik's innocence at the expense of finding more treachery.

Michan said, "So both cancelled transfers came from the same source, more or less. The first one apparently brought Lieutenant Valeris to Cartwright's attention. That led to the second one, but I'm guessing different reasons for them though. I mean, we don't think the conspiracy went back that far, so I don't know why the first happened."

I do.

Kirk picked up on his silence, and saved his obvious question for later. "You said you had bad news earlier, Dave."

"Yeah. I gave it to Ambassador Sarek. If you don't mind, I think he should give it to you, and he might as well play Captain Hunter's message for you too. You'll understand in a minute, Jim, and when you do, you'll know why Hunter is tearing everyone a new – uh, set of ears."

"Okay, Dave. And thanks for all your work. I owe you."

"Yeah, you do. See ya, Jim." The signal cut off.

Kirk straightened up from the computer station. "Hunter's message?"

Spock knew his parents had other things in mind, but at the mention of Captain Hunter, a new stricken look came over Amanda before she controlled it, and with a resigned expression, Sarek brought up the recorded call from the Aerfen's captain.

Hunter was at her desk, looking into the recorder with an expression that Kirk once warned Spock about: "Trust me, you'd better duck and cover if she's aiming it at you". Judging by her voice, Spock agreed with the description.

"I'm not sure who's getting this. Dr. Aakheltok estimates Saavik is in Phase II by now and this message won't reach her directly. I just heard from Starfleet Command. In their wisdom, they are placing Saavik on the inactive duty list. They say she cannot return here after Phase II or at any other time. They regret the decision, but an ill officer is seen as a liability to herself and her shipmates. I argued very loudly that she has thirteen months of perfect health before Phase III strikes, but they think they're doing a good thing, giving her the time off instead of her working. And it gets worse." Her mouth screwed into a firm, angry line. "Because she's listed as inactive, she's been taken off the promotion list. Again! I'm screaming at everyone I can, but both decisions look irrevocable. With everyone sifting through the whole Cartwright fiasco, I can't get them to make this a priority. I'm not giving up, but I can't give any hope either." Here Hunter's expression lost its anger to real sadness. "If you prefer, I'll tell Saavik myself. Just let me know when's a good time. Meanwhile, we hate to do it, but… We're getting her belongings together and shipping them home. Please tell her… whether you want me to tell Saavik about the inactive duty status or not, we will be contacting her. It's important to us that she knows that."

Spock couldn't believe it. Starfleet may think they were doing right by Saavik, giving her the thirteen months to do whatever she wanted before falling too ill, but he had no doubts that the one thing she wanted was to go back to her ship. Starfleet's goodwill gesture was another blow on top of everything else negative happening to her.

"I'll tell her," Amanda suddenly said.

"No, it's all right. I will," Kirk said. His voice was as heavy with sympathetic sadness as Amanda's. "I've had to break Starfleet bureaucratic news before. I can tell her about Michan's findings at the same time. Maybe that'll help."

Sarek rose from his desk, and the way his expression once more settled into troubled lines told Spock the moment was finally here. "Thank you for your offer, Jim. If you will handle this matter now, I will speak to my son regarding the other issue."

Kirk's mouth twisted in a grimace at himself. "I forgot. Michan said he had other news. Is it something I can help with?"

"It is best handled privately. I am sure you will understand."

"Father," Spock interrupted calmly, "there is no need for privacy. Captain Kirk was on hand for the matter you wish to discuss."

"Do not assume you know what the difficulty is, Spock. It is grave, although I believe it untrue."

"It is in regards to Valeris, am I correct? And my actions against her."

Kirk jumped, startled. "What actions? What's going on?"

Amanda took a step forward, entreating him. "Spock..."

"He already knows, Father."

No one said anything, and the silence dragged on as Sarek and Spock stared at each other until Kirk almost burst.

At length, Sarek reported flatly, "Valeris is being extradited to Vulcan where she will be held for trial. In its initial investigation, the Starfleet task force discovered an alleged charge of Spock forcing a meld on her." Without a change of voice or appearance, Sarek very much conveyed a father urgently needing to hear his son's innocence. "Is it true?"

"Yes, it is."

Amanda gasped and took his arm with shaking hands. "Spock, no!"

Sarek asked him harshly, "Do you realize Valeris could bring charges of rape against you?"

Spock replied, "I do."

Sarek's voice tightened. "And do you realize the penalties?"

"I do. And I accept the responsibility for my crime."

"Wait a minute!" Kirk protested. "Spock did what was necessary. I even ordered him to do it."

Amanda cried out, "Jim!"

He whirled, still not seeing the problem. "I needed that information! It was vital for us to get to the peace conference!"

"Did you protest the order?" Sarek asked Spock.

"No, Father, I did not. And if you are asking if I acted out of illogic from Valeris' betrayal, I did. I learned the horror of that mistake in her pain, and I had a healer sent to her as soon as possible. However, none of that changes the situation, and I accept the penalties for it."

Kirk interrupted again. "But he had to do it!"

"Did you try to get the information any other way?" Sarek thundered. "A truth serum or other means?"

"Vulcans are known to be immune to most means of questioning. And I wasn't going to resort to torture."

"Except I did torture her," Spock said. He gripped his folded hands tight behind his back. How did he ever see what he had done differently?

"Spock!"

"I will not make the situation worse by lying."

Kirk simmered, looking for a way out. "What does Starfleet say?"

"The same as you," Sarek answered, far from agreeing. "The action was declared a necessary duty for the security of the Enterprise and the Federation."

"And Vulcan?"

"Will be informed when Valeris and the investigation report arrives in two point five three hours. If Valeris brings charges against Spock and he is found guilty, he will face the penalty."

Kirk's hands were balled into fists. "What kind of penalty?"

"Mental rape is our most grievous crime. It is equal with murder. The penalty may be incarceration for life with or without rehabilitation, or death by tal'shaya."

Amanda's tear streaked face looked up at Spock. She finally asked the question written on her husband's face since this began. "How could you?"

He couldn't soothe her. "I do not know, Mother."

Jaw clenched, Kirk asked desperately, "What can we do?"

Spock saw the struggle behind Sarek's eyes. Vulcan justice was clear: if Spock was guilty, he must be punished. His father knew it. Added to this was the shocking disbelief of what his son had done, something so reprehensible even Sarek's strong intellect didn't fathom it.

"We will wait."

Spock couldn't believe what he just heard. Sarek was not turning him over to the authorities, as he should do.

"Valeris may believe as you do and not bring action," his father continued.

Unlikely.

"If she does," Kirk contended, "can I make a case to the Vulcan tribunal so they see my points? Let me get McCoy when his shift is over tonight and we'll go over everything. It must mean something that Starfleet has cleared Spock!"

"We shall see," Sarek replied, but he clearly didn't believe it.

A pall settled over them as stifling and scalding as being trapped on the Forge. Amanda broke away from Spock, and he saw painfully that her eyes never touched on him again.

"I had better give Saavik her message." She fled the room.

Saavik left the shower, pulling a towel around her, and exited into the quiet sterility of her hospital room. Since the shower was sonic, not water, she had no need to dry herself, and yet she still scrubbed at her skin. Smoothly at first and then with increased briskness until her skin burned light green. Impatiently, she stripped out of the towel and flung it in a corner, snatching a clean robe and shrugging into it. She grabbed the dirty workout clothes from her run this morning and shoved them with the towel down the laundry.

She never expected Phase II to bother her so quickly. Meditation and exercise kept it under control initially, but now the reprieves grew shorter and shorter. The alleviation from her morning meditation lasted for a few hours until restlessness sent her into a blistering run that had exhausted her. Thinking herself free of it for the rest of the day, she had started a research project she was interested in for months now, only to have the twitchy impatience return. She escaped outside again, requesting a simulator to test a theory stirring in her mind since awakening from Phase I.

She picked up the padd with her simulator results and skimmed over them. She kept hearing Warfield's voice explaining to Captain Hunter: she fell like the ship had been hit with our shields down.

She suddenly realized she was pacing.

Agitation rising, she forced herself in a chair, invoking a strong calming technique. She was not going to give into this so easily.

At least she was alone. Rrelthiz had left for her mud bath after giving Saavik yet another physical. Of course, the Carreon didn't know about pon farr, so this phase held no special emphasis... a pleasant difference from the Vulcan healers.

Until later, when she would be in the throes of it -- did she want Rrelthiz to see her that way? They had shared a great deal about themselves, but the thought of her friend seeing her in the throes of… not that the Carreon would judge. But better to return to the careful knowing and understanding care from the Vulcan medical staff at that point, and leave how base and primitive she could be as only words between she and Rrelthiz.

Although, Rrelthiz might have guessed all this, judging by her statement as she left: "Friend Saavik, I am indeed coming back, do not doubt it."

When exhaling shuttered with building tension, Saavik appreciated all over again the blessed solitude of her room.

I need only endure these next few days. That thought as much as the technique itself calmed her. A few days more and I will return to my ship. So much would be better left behind. No more survivors from Hellguard appearing, stirring up things best left forgotten. No more starving faces dying like they had so long ago. No more Spock so close and so far away. Back to the stars, back to their peace. It was all she wanted.

Amanda entering the room interrupted her thoughts. Saavik immediately protested.

"Amanda, we have already discussed you no longer coming here."

Amanda paid no attention to this, but sat on the bed. She leaned over so she may lay a hand on Saavik's chair arm, giving a sense of closeness without upsetting the Phase II condition further with touch. "We have to talk."

Saavik saw the red rimmed eyes, and caught the strong scent of recently applied soap. Very recently applied. Amanda had been crying and then had washed the evidence of it away.

"Captain Hunter sent a message. You're already speculating that it's not good news, so I won't draw this out. Starfleet... Starfleet has put you on the inactive duty list. Hunter is fighting the decision--"

Saavik felt the words strike her like an ultrasonic wave, hitting her skin, then penetrating to deeper, more tender areas, leaving nothing untouched by its beating. Not to return to her ship...

"-- She hates that they did this to you, but they feel it is the best choice for everyone. You have this time to do whatever you want-"

...To leave the burgeoning friendships behind with no goodbye...

"—but because of your duty status, your promotion--"

...Not to sail amongst the stars again...

"—Hunter and the others will contact you soon, they wanted you to know that --"

...To be declared already dead.

Outrage and despair pushed at her emotional controls like battering rams. The calm she so recently regained threatened to collapse, and she turned her face away from Amanda.

"Saavik," the other woman began and then subsided.

A scream of rage threatened to escape her throat, and she jolted to her feet. "You should go," she said hoarsely. She inhaled slowly and held it until she could release it with no tremble. "I appreciate your bringing me this news--"

"Stop. I don't want to hear the rest of that sentence."

"As I do not want to cause you further trouble."

"I know what you'll say. 'I am quite capable of managing the situation for myself.'"

Saavik could not bear Amanda's kindness, not on top of controlling what already hazarded to escape. "As I know you will say, 'I can manage the problem with my son.'"

The sharp intake of breath behind her was loud in her ears. She failed to notice before how small Amanda appeared in her robes, so different from her usual strong presence. And despite the deep sympathy in the teardrop burned eyes, no more weeping threatened.

Something else caused Amanda's tears. Something had shaken her horribly.

"Amanda, what are you not telling me?"

Amanda reeled back before a mask was hastily conjured. "Nothing in particular. The whole situation is difficult enough without them doing this to you."

"I agree. I do not -- I had not counted on this. However, you are diverting me from what is troubling you."

The other woman crossed to the window behind the chair where the growing evening spilled twilight into the room. "We heard of another problem. Don't concern yourself."

"Whatever has caused you this distress concerns me."

Amanda looked over her shoulder in gratitude, but she continued to refuse. "It's personal."

But Saavik's own problem was forgotten at the moment, her outrage dampened by her concern. Amanda's injury silently begged for attention and was more important. "If you truly wished not to discuss this, you would leave instead of remaining." The room echoed with the quiet until it hurt the ears. She thought over her words that caused Amanda's reaction. "Is it Spock? Does he make it difficult for you because of your visiting me?"

She waited for Amanda's usual response that Spock had visited her; she surprised herself by realizing how much she wanted to hear it again.

Instead, a small, remorseful laugh was the reply. "I long for the days when you two were my big problem."

"It is worse?"

"Saavik, you… don't want to know this."

"Amanda, with all I have seen in my life, you cannot shock me." Another sad noise followed by silence again. "You know I will respect your privacy."

A sob hitched Amanda's shoulders and caused her hands to grab the windowsill, but her head stayed unbowed. A voice barely her own strained out, "I know." She left the window and fell in a controlled crumple into the chair.

Aghast, Saavik crouched in front of her, putting her hands on either chair arm as if she sought to make a shield between the world and the older woman.

"Tell me," she pleaded to be let in.

Amanda sat rigid in the seat, and her words came out haltingly. "Spock... mentally... raped Valeris."

Saavik crashed to her knees, not feeling the hard collision with the tile floor jarring both bones and nerves. Nor did she hear her own ragged moan. Her head sagged, but she wasn't aware that Amanda's did too until one of the now flowing, unchecked tears dropped onto her cheek.

Saavik came back to her senses, and saw the bent, gray head almost touching hers. What do I do? How do I help her? She had no idea. She knelt there dumbstruck and listened to the dam unleashed.

"I can't believe it. Not Spock, not my son. How can he be capable of such a thing? How! I keep thinking of his being so gentle, and – it can't be true. But he admits it! He did... that... how could he? Not even when he was younger and got so... angry with the others teasing him... but that's not like this. Not Spock. He wouldn't--" The sobbing racked Amanda's small frame.

Saavik struggled for words or an action. Perhaps bringing Sarek? With how this must be affecting him, he would want his wife—

Amanda suddenly straightened, wrestling control over her hysteria. She still cried quietly, but she held herself up. "I'm appalled he did this, I couldn't even look at him. But he's my child! And I'm afraid they'll order... tal'shaya..." She bit her lips and rocked in the chair.

Tal'shaya! "Amanda! When did a Vulcan tribunal meet on this?"

"They haven't. Valeris is arriving soon. She's being tried under our judicial system here. Jim and Sarek hope she won't bring action, but why shouldn't she? He did it, he's guilty. He forced a meld! If she doesn't bring charges tonight, then tomorrow or whenever they begin their investigation here. If she had just told Jim what he wanted to know-- if he had tried any other way to get the information!"

"I do not understand. What part does Captain Kirk play in this?"

Gathering herself with a visible effort, Amanda explained everything she knew.

Spock once noted of Saavik, as a compliment, that she had a ruthlessly logical mind. Perhaps that was what made everything clear to her even as the emotions from Phase II grew. She pushed aside everything but two facts:

Spock's future depended on if Valeris pressed charges. And second, Valeris was now here on Vulcan.

Saavik hovered close to the woman bowed and forlorn before her. Perhaps a cool cloth and wiping the hot tear tracks away, but if she didn't stay in front of the chair, Amanda might fall.

Unsure, she took the cuff of her robe's sleeve and wavering, brushed Amanda's cheek with it. Amanda unexpectedly grabbed her hand and held in a frantic grasp, so she stayed still as Amanda leaned hard into the touch.

Saavik swallowed. "Forgive me. Emotional support is not one of my strengths."

That earned her a small smile. "You're doing all right."

"I'd prefer knowing how to do more."

"You could stop chasing me away whenever I come to visit."

"It was for your benefit," she answered softly.

She was more than concerned. She was afraid. When Spock died in Khan's attack years ago, Amanda suffered a collapse; even following his rebirth, healers warned her to lighten her schedule and her stress levels. She defied them by returning to what looked like full health, but times such as these showed the toll of those dark days.

"Amanda." Saavik raised the eyes to hers. "Heed me. I know Valeris--"

"I warned you about her!"

"I know."

"No, you don't. Commodore Michan found out she was behind both your transfer cancellations."

Another unwelcome surprise. "Both?"

"She had her family use its influence to stop the first one or she just lied and used their name, we don't know. But even then she was maneuvering her way onto Enterprise. And now my son's future, his life, is in her hands! She'll destroy him."

"Amanda--"

"She doesn't have your heart. She never will."

"An arguable point, however not the current one I wish to make."

"The hell it's arguable."

Saavik frowned. "Do not use such language. It does not suit you."

"You're telling me that? That might be the only amusing thing I heard all day." The slight smile immediately died.

Saavik now returned Amanda's grip on her hand. "Amanda, listen to me. Spock is safe, do not be concerned. The situation will be resolved favorably. Trust me."

I will need help. Her mind rapidly went through the possibilities, matching person to need: Rrelthiz. She sighed to herself. After promising myself to keep my darker nature during Phase II from showing in front of her, I will do exactly that after all.

Amanda's tears threatened again and she wiped them angrily away with her other hand, still holding Saavik's with the other. "I do, you know I do. But you can't make that guarantee."

She gazed back evenly. "Yes, I can."