Kirk paid no heed to Bones yelling after him. McCoy didn't see what was going on here; he did.
He opened the door to the groundcar and rapidly slipped in. The door blocked the outside light throwing Saavik's face in shadow, but he heard her sudden inhale.
"We have to talk," he barked, and slammed the car into forward. He caught the comm unit out of the corner of his eye, and punched the power off. He wasn't Rrelthiz. He didn't need to be in constant contact with the hospital.
Saavik pressed herself against her door and the dim spill from the interior lighting showed her hand gripping her seat.
She knows the tone, and he kept it up, using his best commander's voice. She was a well trained, experienced officer. The best way for him to get at her was making her heed a superior.
Even a retired one.
"Saavik, don't get me wrong. You rescued Spock, and I'm just as glad as anybody else that you did it."
She looked out the window, her form a lighter darkness against the night outside.
"But the end doesn't justify the means, not for Valeris, and not for you."
She spoke, her voice stiff. "Your point, Captain?"
She probably knew where this was going and didn't like it. It's why she acted like this. Too bad. "The reason why you took Rrelthiz along. What were you thinking!"
She didn't answer. She even refused to look his way, and kept the physical distance between them as if it put his argument at bay.
He clenched his teeth hard together, and spit his words out between them. "You're Starfleet, and you can quote the rule book better than the people who wrote it. You know you're in the wrong, and that's before we even talk about you being a Vulcan."
She shifted in the seat, and he was tired of facing a shadow who wouldn't even look at him. The road was empty this time of night, so he let go of the controls with one hand.
"Saavik--!" He reached out, not to touch her, but to lay it on the seat above her shoulder.
"Computer!" she shouted. "Override! Stop the car!"
Its sensors read the street and safely pulled the vehicle to the shoulder. Saavik raced out before the door opened all the way. Startled, Kirk sat frozen before flinging himself out on his side.
She walked up the length of the car and then back to her door. "Captain, permission to speak freely?"
That was a sad reminder that she really didn't need to ask him anymore. "Granted."
"Make your accusation, whatever it is."
"You know what it is." The light was a bit better out here, but she was still hard to see, and he almost shivered in the night air. "Rrelthiz is a Carreon. She believes in revenge where it's justified by her standards, and that includes killing your enemy. You knew that! And you took her along because she's the only one who'd snap Valeris' neck if you didn't get you what you wanted!"
"No!" Her face turned towards him, but strands of her hair blew across it with the breeze. "I would never ask Rrelthiz to kill for me. I know the consequences. I would not make her pay them."
He put his hands on the car in surprise, and then suddenly lunged over the hood. Saavik stepped back, adding more space between them. "You planned to do it! What do you care about a murder charge when you're--" He almost didn't say it, but her once more refusing to look at him spurred his temper. "—dying from the disease if it's not cured."
"Not quite." She moved down further so they were speaking from opposite corners over the hood instead of across from each other. "I admit some of your accusation is true, but you incorrectly blame Rrelthiz. And I was not so quick to murder as you make me out to be." She met the wind fully, letting it play along her, and her voice grew calmer. "The Carreon have an honor code. It may be harsh to you, but that is why the Federation insists on one culture not forcing its behaviors on another with which it disagrees. Her honor has strict rules on when revenge by death can be demanded, or, as in this case, if it is even necessary. I took Rrelthiz with me so I may have that judgement."
"And if she had said yes, you'd have done it!"
"If I saw no other way, yes! If I couldn't save them both and had to choose, yes!"
"Save them both? What does that mean?"
She exhaled with deliberate slowness, staring down at the ground, and he thought he heard her breath tremble. He put it down to the cool air streaming in from the desert.
"Because of her actions with Cartwright, Valeris put herself into a possible death sentence. Because of what he did over her actions, Spock faced the same penalty. The obvious solution was to allow the two of them to excuse each other, but Spock has no power to acquit Valeris' crimes of treason and murder."
"Are you telling me he should do it if he had the power?"
She suddenly shoved against the car and the obvious sign of her frustration over the situation was the equivalent of Kirk screaming into the night. He couldn't believe his eyes. He remembered the last time he had seen her, at the restaurant, her homeworld's behavior cracking through her Vulcan controls.
She took another deep breath, spinning around, and he saw her roll her shoulders. They were on the outskirts of ShiKahr and far from Sarek's estate. The desert lay out before them on one side and she stared out into it, ignoring his question. "I needed other charges against Valeris to make my solution viable. I suspected more was behind what she did to Spock and I personally. She almost proved me wrong… However in the end, I was correct, and that gave me the ability to put the mutual waivers in place."
His surprise melted away when he remembered why they were here. "And if she hadn't signed it--"
"I would have chosen to save Spock rather than lose them both."
He pounded the roof with a fist. "Is that how you justify it?"
She looked sharply over her shoulder. "What would you have done?"
"I wouldn't have killed Valeris to get Spock clear of this. I never would have even thought of it!"
"Are you so certain?" Even for a human, the sarcasm was heavy. It nipped at Kirk's mind and he'd have realized what was going on if she hadn't charged ahead. "During your mission on Eminiar VII, you gave General Order 24 to Mr. Scott while you were held captive." She paused, gripping the car. "That order meant you wanted him to destroy the entire planet if you were not released! You didn't tell him to fire on the Center where you were held or to give even warning shots to unoccupied areas. You insisted on the entire planet! An order to commit genocide because you were taken prisoner!"
"Hold on! You weren't there, you don't know why I did that!"
"I've seen the logs, Captain. You know your first five-year mission is released for viewing. You explained your actions in those logs--"
"And you misread them! I gave that order for a psychological effect."
"Exactly."
He shook his head, his eyes never leaving her, but the light from T'Kuht high overhead shadowed her own. "I'm not buying the change in story, Saavik. You didn't threaten Valeris just for the affect of it."
"You are wrong. It was my first purpose. I never directly threatened her, but… she knew." Her voice dropped off. "I saw the effect."
"But you would have gone through with it."
"And if you were never released on Eminiar?"
"I never doubted I'd get out."
"That is the difference between us, Captain. I do doubt."
He snapped, "So my arrogance is a way to explain you putting murder as an option in your plan?"
"I remind you, sir, I did not go through with it. Even Rrelthiz did not think it necessary."
"I don't care! It's no reason to excuse what you were thinking."
"However, you can excuse giving an order to rape Valeris?"
Cold shock ran through him and he fumbled with his response. "I..."
"You didn't see it as rape because you're not telepathic? That is not an excuse, Captain! You have served with Spock too long not to know how violating the mind's privacy is viewed here. And yet, you gave the order! You stood and watched him do it, insisting on more information until she screamed!" She now lunged against the car. "One more thing, as you know Spock so well. Would he have forced that meld if you hadn't pushed him in that direction? Did no one try to stop it? Any of the command crew who is put forth by Starfleet as the embodiment of our ranks? When did you get the right to justify the means by the end!"
He drew himself up, staggered. Spock might have thought of using a meld to get that information from Valeris, but would he have suggested it out loud? Or gone through with it? How much of the blame lay at Kirk's own feet?
And how could Bones, having shared Spock's katra and all the knowledge of mental privacy that entailed, how could Bones, a doctor, not say anything in protest?
Or Uhura as a woman not cringe at any form of rape and call out against it?
Or…
Why hadn't he ever asked himself this before? It's exactly what Spock had just been trying to get him to understand.
He bit on the inside of his lower lip, looking around him without seeing anything as he asked himself the hard questions. Rubbing his jaw, he finally looked up. "Saavik--"
She shoved against the ground car, then stiff-armed it, rocking it on its repulsors. "Damn you, leave me alone!"
His hands dropped from the shaking vehicle and his eyes turned into circles of disbelief.
She strangled out, keeping her head down, "I need to get back to the hospital. Now!"
He took in the fingers biting into the seams of the car, the way she still heaved against the heavy vehicle, struggling to control a more violent reaction, and her shaking body – not just from the night's chill.
Oh sh— Oh shõ
The last piece felt into place: why she trusted Rrelthiz more than her own judgement not to harm Valeris; the emotion spilling out when she talked to him; why Bones had yelled after him, not wanting him to get into the car's close confines with her.
How did he forget? She was in Phase II.
The thought of why she leapt away whenever he got too close, why she always kept a distance, almost made him flush with embarrassment. In the next second, he needed to control a different, emotional reaction. He was a healthy male and Saavik was certainly beautiful. The fact that she responded to him like this – he'd have to be dead not to feel something in return.
But he clamped it down. She didn't want him. Any man would cause the same reaction from her. The rejection as she demanded to be left alone was no more personal than her response.
Except if he got in the groundcar to take her to the hospital or if they stood alone together on this empty road much longer, it was going to get very personal.
Lights from a coming vehicle blinded him when he turned in their direction. He spun back to warn Saavik to get out of view, knowing how much the public seeing her would bother her right now, only to find she had already done so.
The approaching car pulled over behind them, and Rrelthiz bounded out of it, calling out to Saavik. Amanda exited at a more gracious pace, barely pausing at Kirk to smile. "You'll be riding in that car for the rest of the evening," and she indicated the direction from which she came.
"Yes, ma'am," he answered automatically. He felt like one of his teachers caught him in a prank that just blew up in his face. He backpedaled a few steps, watching as Amanda went over to where Saavik stayed bowed by their vehicle. With the ease of long experience, the gentle hands pried loose the ones tightly clamped on the door.
Saavik looked up, blinking in the bright light. "Amanda?"
"Yes. It's all right." She embraced both of Saavik's hands by holding them in her own, the mock pon farr too developed for her touch to do any harm. "This gives me the chance to thank you for once more saving my son's life."
"What – what I did..."
Kirk held his breath as Amanda cupped Saavik's cheek and laid her thumb kindly on the trembling mouth, silencing it. Saavik rested into the blessing of the cool touch.
"We'll talk later. Rrelthiz and I need to get you back to the hospital. Unless... it's not too late to choose someone. You're not so far along that--"
"There is no one."
"Are you so sure?"
Saavik's eyes suddenly squeezed shut as her body shook. "Yes."
Rrelthiz spoke for the first time. With a doctor's authority, she said, "Friend Saavik, indeed I do not understand fully what you are discussing, but if Lady Amanda knows someone who will help you with the disease--"
With bared teeth, Saavik replied harshly, "That is not what she means!"
Neon-blue eyes stared in shock as a tail stilled for the same reason.
Amanda argued, "It doesn't have to be a bondmate, just someone who understands you'll want no ties--"
"No one!"
"Saavik, even Vulcans have people available for this!"
"I said, no!"
"All right! Be stubborn and pick the most difficult way! As if I'm testing your strength of character!"
Something in the words made Saavik's head come up, distressed. "I meant no insult. I only… I will not be forced into anything except that which I absolutely must endure!"
Amanda shook her head in amusement. "I don't envy you the days ahead." She patted the cheek. "But I understand."
Silently beseeching Rrelthiz got a soft, happy laugh. "Oh Friend Saavik, with all we have been through, you must see you can't be rid of me with a little bout of temper!"
Saavik sagged with relief and let herself be bundled back into the car. As they drove off, Kirk realized he had been rooted to the spot, mesmerized by the scene. He wondered if Saavik even remembered his conversation with her. He did, and he didn't know what to think.
Behind him, he heard sounds coming from the vehicle, and he realized he had company. The door opened, the sounds growing louder, but Spock stepped quietly out, and Kirk had no idea how to interpret the look on the Vulcan's face.
McCoy scrambled out from the back, and now the earlier sounds were clearly his laughter. "Jim!" He walked over, one hand on his stomach as if it hurt. "I wish I had seen your face when you realized what you stepped in!" He doubled over on Kirk's shoulder, laughing so hard, he could barely speak. "Damn, that had to be good!"
"Shut up, Bones." He squirmed as Spock's eyes continued to bore into him, and McCoy's hysterics hooted in his ear. First his own embarrassment, then Amanda's dig, and now these two. He felt like an idiot. "She's a patient of yours, you know."
That had the great side effect of turning Spock's hard stare onto McCoy. "He is correct, Doctor. You show little concern for Saavik and her situation."
"What kind of unfeeling monster do you two think I am? I'm not laughing at her condition or anything else about her at all. Just you, Jim. And as your doctor, I hate to break it to you, but I don't think you're up to this marathon anyway. Even if Saavik was taking volunteers." He began chuckling again.
"Will you be quiet! Act your age." Kirk pushed the other man off and walked to the car, heading for the driver's side. He looked back, and saw tears of laughter on McCoy's cheeks and Spock watching him. A padd was in the Vulcan's hand and he gladly jumped on that to change the topic. "What do you have?"
Spock didn't answer right away, then finally crossed back. "More information from Rrelthiz. She said it was important." He handed it over the hood. "A simulator test Saavik ran earlier today."
"Simulator?" Kirk browsed over the display. "This is at the VSE training grounds. That's near the Science Academy, correct?"
Spock nodded. "But the information does not say what the simulation is for."
"Because Saavik knew and thought she could take care of it." And then the business with Valeris interfered. He wasn't ready to discuss that quite yet. "Well, there's no time like the present." He began to slide into the car. Anything to make everyone forget what just happened.
McCoy knocked on the windshield and spoke through it. "What? You mean go there now?"
"You have other plans?"
The doctor thought about it and shrugged. "What the hell." He climbed into the backseat and a second later Spock was in as well.
Kirk started out, hoping he remembered the way correctly. He usually rode in the back himself with Spock or Sarek driving.
Chuckles came from the backseat, and McCoy pushed up next to him. "Jim, you gotta tell me. Did your face look like this--" He bulged his eyes and dropped his jaw wide open. "—or should I add a lecherous touch to it?" He burst out laughing again. "And can you imagine what we thought we'd find when we chased after you? Especially when we saw your car pulled over?" His head dropped against the seat, his laughing barely stopping for air.
"Shut up, Bones!"
The simulator was dark, but almost immediately someone activated its lighting, splashing brightness around the unfamiliar bridge configuration. Unfamiliar to me, Kirk corrected himself. Spock buzzed around the stations, totally at home.
None of the Vulcans at the Science and Exploration training facilities appeared at all surprised when he and the two others showed up this late at night. The middle-aged male taking the request only asked curiously, "Purpose of exercise?" When Spock replied, "Research", the VSE officer nodded in understanding and escorted them here.
"Now what?" McCoy asked, cranky with fatigue.
Kirk looked to Spock who raised an eyebrow. "We wait."
"For what?" the doctor insisted.
A deep, low, almost booming noise sounded and every station activated.
Kirk shrugged. "Looks like we won't be waiting long. Spock, what can you tell us?"
The Vulcan checked the sensors, but never got a chance to answer as the ship shuddered hard, throwing them off their feet. Instinctively and with too many battles under his belt, Kirk grabbed for a solid object and held on. Klaxons sounded and one station sparked, faltered, and returned to full power.
"Spock!"
"The ship is under attack. We were struck with no warning while our shields were down."
"Put them up now!" McCoy yelled.
"Impossible. Our enemy targeted them first. They are destroyed."
The ship shuddered again, worse this time. Kirk held on and shouted. "Where the hell's the helm! Evasive maneuvers!"
The deck rotated under his feet and surged with speed. He lost his hold and snatched for a nearby railing. The ship rocked under another blow and he missed, flailing as he tried again. He stumbled and was flung at the railing, slamming into it.
Spock spoke calmly. "The simulation anticipated you, Captain. We are on an escape course."
"Who's firing at us!"
"On screen, Captain."
McCoy lost his footing and fell rather than walked up to Kirk. "Oh, crap. Should've known."
Kirk didn't get a good look because the main viewscreen flared with another close strike. He flung a hand up to cover his eyes and suddenly had to grab McCoy. Too late, he realized he had let go with both hands. He and Bones went flying, hitting the deck hard. His vision swam with dark spots for a second, as ribs already badly bruised from the railing were hurt again. He reached for a nearby chair, thankfully bolted to the deck. It took three tries before he could grab it and pull himself into it as the ship was struck again and again. He searched rapidly for safety restraints on the chair, and realized the stations were like his first Enterprise: nothing to keep him in this seat but grit and sheer luck.
Stations shutdown, and he was stuck on a sinking ship.
A soaring figure drew him back to the viewscreen. An old style Romulan Warbird swept by with powerful grace, flashing the bird of prey on its belly in triumph.
"Engines are down," Spock reported, eyes dark and solemn. "They know exactly where to strike."
Kirk pounded his chair arm. "What do we have?"
"Life support, maneuvering thrusters--"
"Oh, like they'll do us any good," McCoy snarled.
"Bones, quiet! Spock, can we--"
A tremor shook everything, and they all grabbed on, but the deck stopped rolling abruptly. He felt the ship strain and then still.
He spun in his seat in front of some dead station. "Spock?"
"A tractor beam, Captain."
"They got us," McCoy whispered.
The simulation died.
Kirk's head swung around the bridge as everything shutdown except the minimal lighting. "Wait, that's it?"
"Apparently so, Captain."
"But what was the point? Why did Saavik make a simulation that gave us no chance?" The odd thought struck him that if she was getting revenge for the Kobayashi Maru test, she did a good job. But she had no reason to do such a thing.
"If she meant to make me lose my dinner," McCoy complained, "she succeeded. I'm so dizzy--" He stopped and exchanged a glance with Kirk, suddenly grasping what was going on.
Kirk stepped excitedly up to the same level. "Bones, Phase I!"
"Vertigo... dizziness."
Kirk remembered how hard it was to grab the railings and chair with the ship jolting under his feet, unable to get solid footing or a hold of anything, and how his vision swam, the battering around making things not be where he saw them. "Double vision, loss of hand and eye coordination..."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "Apparently we were mistaken. The hybrids do not live out stages in their lives through the disease. They live out the lives of their Vulcan parents."
McCoy snapped his fingers. "The Phase I symptoms mimic what it was like during the attacks on Diversity and the other ships. Having the floor roll under your feet, trying to grab hold of things and missing them, having your head swim from the ship spiraling out of control. All of it causing minor to secondary injuries: concussions, broken bones, but nothing major because the prisoners had to be alive and in good health. Then Phase II, the forced pon farr followed by thirteen months for the pregnancies."
"Then Phase III, a slow death from starvation and dehydration," Kirk finished. He felt ill with anger. What kind of sick bastards came up with this thing?
McCoy's excitement abruptly waned. "You know, it's all well and good that we figured this out, but what does it really get us? Knowing what Phase I means doesn't get me closer to a cure after all."
Kirk walked over to Spock. "But on our side of things, it confirms whoever is behind this knows everything about Hellguard and what happened there. That limits the field."
The Vulcan nodded. "The Romulans, of course. No one knows the details regarding the Vulcan prisoners on Thieurrull more than their captors."
"And the hate groups are out," McCoy said. "They can't know enough to put this together."
"Unless," Kirk stared pointedly at Spock, "they had someone on the inside providing the information."
Spock frowned. "You suspect a Vulcan?"
"I don't have anybody specific in mind. Just that it's a small list of people who know about Hellguard in detail. If it's not the Romulans behind this, someone on that list created the disease."
"Now waitta minute, Jim," McCoy spoke up. "Created the disease? You're saying someone on the medical team did this?"
Kirk heard the righteous anger on behalf of respected colleagues. "Think about it, Bones. Who knows better how to make a disease and keep you off track for a cure than someone on that team?"
"You don't know what you're talking about, Jim. I've seen how everyone is fighting to keep their patients alive! And nobody has sole access to the test results or anything else to keep a cure locked up! It's not Sorel or one of the others."
Spock's eyebrows were drawn together in thought. "It is possible that the inside source merely provided the details from the Thieurrull reports. Afterwards, someone else in the responsible group created the disease. That would preclude it being someone on the medical team."
"There! You see, Jim?"
"However, it does not rule them out completely."
"Thanks a lot, Spock! I thought you were on my side."
"I am no more pleased at this idea than you, Doctor. No more than I am pleased it may be a Vulcan. However, I put that aside because I know this person or persons must be found immediately."
McCoy fumed. "Okay, I know that. But what about what I told you earlier? If this is a hate group, why aren't they attacking you, Spock? Or Sarek or anyone else on the rescue team?"
"A valid point, Doctor. I can think of only two answers. The first I already stated: this is not a prejudicial based organization, but the Romulans. Second, whoever is behind this believes they are revenging Vulcan lives. Given this, they most likely do not wish to kill any other Vulcans, even ones so misguided as to rescue the half-Romulans from Thieurrull."
McCoy blew out a lungful of air. "So now what?"
Kirk smacked a railing with his palm. "We've got to get someone inside the Empire to talk to us! And we've got to go through the list of people here who might be at least leaking information."
McCoy frowned, but only pulled his hospital communicator. "I'm going to tell Daniel and the others about Phase I. Hold on, they're sending an update." He read something coming across and suddenly raised an eyebrow.
"What is it, Bones?"
"Jdehn and the other two show the first symptoms of Phase II. They should be full blown in another day or so. Get this. Jdehn asked Arik to go through it with her. He agreed. And you'll never guess who Mehkai chose! I'll give you a hint. It has to do with someone Jim just took a car ride with."
Spock scowled darkly. "You said Saavik was not accepting anyone."
"Exactly! Mehkai's choosing no one, just like she did." McCoy chuckled. "He'd better get that chip off his shoulder. These battles to outdo Saavik and the others are going to get him hurt."
The middle-aged Vulcan who previously escorted them in stepped into the simulator. "Is there anything else you require?"
Kirk looked at the other two and shook his head. "Just a lot of answers."