I was pacing. I paced a lot. It helped me when I was trying to clear my head. I had left Casey in her room after she basically dismissed me. She told me she needed time to think about what I had told her. She wanted to be alone. So I left.

But my mind was still there. Had I gone too far ? Had I told her things better left unsaid ? I was a firm believer in the fact that no words, if you truly meant them, were better left unsaid. I had come to understand that you really have a short time with the people you loved. It was best to tell them how you felt whenever the chance arrived. And the chance for me to say the things I wanted to say to Casey for so long came this afternoon.

I didn't feel guilty for letting her know how I felt. I didn't feel bad for giving her things to think about. I just wasn't sure she was ready to hear all the things I told her. I didn't know if she would really take it all seriously.

I could have handled it better. I could have said it better. Explained myself more clearly. I wasn't sure exactly why I was so freaked out about telling her what I thought. I just was.

These were the thoughts running rampant in my head when I heard the doorbell chime. I actually almost missed it. But then I heard voices drifting from downstairs and I realized that someone new was among us. A glance at my watch told me that someone was probably the famous Derek.

I was anxious to get a look at the guy really. I wanted to see what kind of guy had won Casey's heart the first time. I imagined him like Evan. A rich, narcissistic, brat who never had a real problem in his life that he couldn't just buy his way out of.

Man, I sounded bitter.

What I found at the bottom of the stairs, bouncing nervously from foot to foot, was a surprise. He wasn't an Evan clone. His scuffed, white shoes and tattered looking jacket attested to that fact. As did his worn, yellow t-shirt and faded dark blue jeans. Definitely not an Evan clone.

His hair was short, blond and worn in a no nonsense cut that really didn't suit him that well. But his blue eyes scanned the room, looking intelligent and alert and something else. It wasn't something I could put my finger on, but there was certainly something about this boy next door that I didn't like instantly. Still, he seemed genuine. His smile was warm and welcoming. There was just something nagging at me about him. I decided to reserve judgment on whether he was really okay or not.

" So, I hear you are taking this troupe to Millennium Park for a little ice skating. " Mr. Cartwright said with a friendly hand on his shoulder.

" Yeah, I thought Casey might like to get out and catch up. I've been looking forward to her visit. " he answered smoothly.

" What are you doing with yourself now, Derek ? I heard something about you working in your old man's shop. " Casey's father continued.

" Yeah, That's where I am right now. " he nodded.

" Well, I bet your a big help around there. "

Casey was zipping her jacket and putting on a pair of pink angora gloves when I stepped off the last stair.

" Oh, there you are. " she smiled at me like I was the only person in the crowded foyer and it made my heart leap.

Then she stepped into me and kissed my cheek sweetly before turning to Derek. " Derek, this is Cappie. Cappie, Derek told me this morning that he was dying to meet you. "

I extended my hand to him and he accepted it in a firm, steady handshake.

" You're the man that won Casey's heart. " he said.

I nodded. " I guess I am. "

" Its a pleasure to meet you. She told me all about you. " he announced.

I glanced at Casey. She hadn't let me in on what she told this guy about me and I didn't want to blow her story before we even got out of the door. So I remained noncommittal for the moment.

" Are we ready to go ? " Casey asked, as she finished with her gloves.

" Let me grab my coat. " I said, reaching past her to grab it from the tree inside the door.

" Oh, are Rusty and Cappie joining us ? " Derek asked.

" Oh, yeah, is that okay ? " Casey answered.

" No, yeah, sure that's great. " he said, clearly caught off guard, but he recovered nicely.

When I got to the car, which was a black Ford sedan of some kind that he had left running in the drive, I guessed why he was so caught off guard.

The interior was warm and very inviting. Soft music was drifting from the speakers behind my head. Music a guy doesn't listen to when he's alone in his car. Music selected for his companion to enjoy. I knew that music. I used that music.

When Casey and I slid into the backseat, I noticed a soft, white blanket and a basket sitting on the immaculate floorboard.

I had stepped into a seduction ride. That was the intention. I was almost sure of it. The music, the blanket and whatever was in the basket was there for Casey's benefit and hers alone.

This guy was trying to steal my girl right out from under me. Well, my fake girl, but still. How dare he !

I pulled Casey close to me as we snuggled in the backseat when I caught him glance in the rear view. Ha ! I thought triumphantly. Take that Don Juan.

Rusty was chattering nervously from the passenger seat. Casey and I were leaning forward trying to pay attention to him.

" I hear you're a mechanic now. " Rusty was saying. " That sounds interesting. I hear there's quite a bit of money to be had in engine repair. "

Derek nodded at him, but his eyes continued to flick to the mirror.

" Casey says you're the President of your Fraternity, Cappie. That's pretty impressive. " He said when Russ finally paused to take a breath.

" Yeah, I sure am. Did she tell you that she recently was appointed President of the Zeta Beta Zeta's" I answered.

" No, she didn't mention that. That's great, Casey. I always knew you'd be something special. "

She blushed, but didn't say anything.

" So what else has Casey told you about me ? " I asked, trying to judge exactly who I was pretending to be.

" She said you were the Kappa Tau president, that you hadn't really picked a major yet, that you liked to have fun and party. She just went on and on. " he answered, not sounding all that pleased about it.

I looked at her. I wasn't pretending to be anything at all. She had told the guy the truth and apparently she had gone on and on about me. I was elated. I couldn't keep the smile from my face.

" Sounds like she hit all the high points. " I nodded. " But she hasn't really said much about you. "

" Well, we haven't really seen each other in nearly three years. A lot has changed. I'm working at my Dad's garage. I've got my own place. I'm doing pretty okay. "

" That's great, Derek. I'm really happy for you. " Casey interjected.

" Well, I'm not doing as great as you guys. I didn't get a chance at college. My Dad needed my help right after high school. I've been there ever since. " There was a carefully disguised bitterness to his voice that I wasn't thrilled with. I guess I could see where the poor guy was coming from. He didn't seem to happy doing what he was doing. But his father needed him and he had stepped up. I couldn't find much fault in that.

Casey and Derek spent the rest of the ride catching up with the local gossip, talking about people I had no clue about. I sat back and enjoyed the fact that Casey seemed perfectly at ease pretending to be my girlfriend again. She continually touched me in such a casual way an outsider might not have noticed, but I did, and judging from the looks I was getting in the mirror, so did Derek. Her hand rested on my knee. Her leg brushed against mine. When the conversation occasionally lulled or she was listening to Derek talk, she leaned back, her shoulder resting against my chest and her head nestled comfortably under my chin. It was a prefect ride and I was sad to have it come to an end. I could almost believe that the last year and a half had never happened. That we were still together and in love and happy.

Being a week before Christmas, the park was crowded. A towering, beautifully decorated tree stood proudly over the crowd. Hundreds of sparkling lights illuminated the plaza. It was a prefect Christmas scene.

I didn't notice much of that though. I was much too preoccupied with the steel blades Casey was currently strapping to my feet. As I glanced at Rusty, who grimaced back at me, I felt my nerves kick into overdrive. I was going to kill myself, or break something that I would need later in life, I was sure.

" Are you sure I can do this ? " I asked, leaning close to Casey and trying to keep my voice low so Derek wouldn't know how nervous I was.

He was already standing by the ice, looking at us impatiently.

" I'm positive. Look out there. " she gestured with her chin towards the ice. I saw what she was talking about. A little girl who could not have been more than five was blissfully twirling across the smooth surface. " If she can do this, you can do this. "

I nodded, but I didn't believe her. I'm not one to really be afraid of much of anything. So I took a deep breath and let her lead me onto the ice.

It was the most terrifying, awkward thing I had ever done. My feet kept trying to slip out from under me. I couldn't keep my legs straight. I couldn't stand upright and I couldn't or wouldn't let go of Casey.

I clung to her, knowing she was the only thing keeping me upright. She laughed as I shuffled my feet an inch at a time across the slippery, wet, surface. I held to her waist tightly, keeping her as close to me as I could.

We stayed like that, making a few laps around the park. I noticed her watching the other skaters with a bit of envy and I felt a little guilty, like I was holding her back. But every time I tired to let go, she had to grab me to keep me on my feet.

Then Derek, who was acting like Dorthy freaking Hamil, skating circles around us like it was the easiest thing in the world, glided up to us and stopped, raising a spray of ice as he did.

" Let Rusty help him for a sec. " he suggested. " I want to see if you still have all those old moves. "

Casey turned and looked at me. I warned her with my eyes not to leave me. Threatening her with my gaze. She had promised she wouldn't leave. " Rusty won't let you fall. I swear. I'll only be a second. "

She leaned a little closer and brushed her lips against my ear. " Besides, I want to show you how good I am. "

That got me. I wanted to see her. And she wanted to show me. She had said it so quietly, I knew she hadn't said it for Derek's benefit. She genuinely wanted me to see her. So I nodded and she yelled for Rusty.

I wasn't nearly as comfortable with him. It was weird holding on to his shoulders. I almost slipped as Casey handed me over to him. I felt like a bumbling idiot.

Then I stopped, making Russ stop as well. I had to. I was incapable of concentrating on making my legs work like I needed them to.

She was completely mesmerizing as she glided weightlessly across the ice. Her arms held out to her sides, her face serene and peaceful. She was poetry in motion. Beauty personified.

As Bing Crosby droned in the background about a White Christmas, and the white flakes drifted softly to the ground, she once again, for the second time that day, took my breath away. I think I forgot how to breath in that moment actually. She was so graceful as she spun effortlessly, her eyes never left mine and the pride that shown on her face was beyond anything I had ever seen.

Then just as suddenly as it began, the wonder of the scene ended as Derek came into view, taking her by the waist and pulling her against him. I watched helplessly as he took her hand and turned her about, causing a gush of laughter to issue from her. She wasn't looking at me anymore. Her eyes were on him as they happily danced about.

" Don't let him get to you, Man. " Rusty told me as he tried to loosen my grip on his shoulder by flexing it.

I got the hint and let up slightly.

" She's pretending she's with you. She wouldn't be doing that if she wanted him, now would she ? " he continued trying to reassure me. " You have got to get a grip on this jealous thing you've got going. "

" I'm not jealous. " I lied.

" Right and I'm not a science geek. " he smiled.

" Alright, maybe I am a little. "

" What did you fight about earlier ? You seemed pretty upset. Was it Evan again ? " I appreciated what he was trying to do. He was trying to distract me so I wouldn't take my jealousy out on his shoulder again.

" It wasn't really important. We worked it out. " I answered.

" What is going on with you guys ? I mean you're looking pretty cozy one minute and glaring at each the next. Are you trying to get her back ? "
" Russ, " I smiled with more than a little self-loathing. " I'm pretty sure, I'm going to spend my entire life either trying to get her back, or working my ass off to keep her. "

" You really do love her. " he commented quietly.

" I really do. " I agreed. " I have since the first time I saw her waiting in line for coffee. "

" I wish I loved someone like that. " he sighed, dejectedly.

" It'll happen. Give it time. " I assured him.

" I'm not so sure. Things like that don't really happen to me. " he answered.

" What about Jenn ? I seem to remember that going fairly well for a while anyway. "

" Yeah, but look how it turned out. I'll never fall in love, not like that. " he sighed again.

" Come on, that's crazy talk. You're what, nineteen years old. " I shook my head solemnly. " You're right. It's probably time to start thinking about getting a cat or something. "

He punched my shoulder and laughed, until he I started to topple. Then suddenly he wasn't laughing anymore. He was grabbing at me as frantically as I grabbed at him. But it was too late and I landed on my ass on the ice with a thud.

" I'm so sorry, Man. I forgot. I didn't mean to knock you down. " he apologized over and over.

" Russ, " I told him calmly. " It's okay. I'm fine. Just help me up. "

That was an adventure in itself. Every time I almost got on my feet, one of them would slip and down I'd go again. Seconds later, Casey and Derek were there as well, looking over me like I was some kind of zoo exhibit.

And, as is my usual habit during stressful situations, I couldn't stop laughing. Finally Derek just grabbed me under the arms and hauled me to my feet, steadying me until I got my balance.

" It's getting kind of late. " Casey announced when the fiasco ended. " Maybe we should call it a night. I'm sure Mom has dinner ready by now. She'd want us home. "

We all agreed and Casey took my hands and helped me off the ice. I had never felt more relieved than I did the moment those blades were off my feet.

As we made our way through the snow covered streets, Derek had somehow managed to invite himself to dinner. Well, Rusty invited him actually. But I saw the trap leading him into it and I wasn't sure I was happy about it. I still didn't like the guy. Something just wasn't okay with him.

I was quickly brought out of my thoughts as Casey moved closer to me and slid her arm around my waist. I was surprised at first. I still wasn't really used to the fact that we were supposed to be together again. It caught me by surprise every time she just reached over and touched me.

" How long have you been together ? "Derek asked with a quick glance in the mirror.

" Three years. " Casey offered, the lie rolling off her tongue with a casual easy. " We met in Freshman year. "

" Waiting in line for coffee. " I added looking down at her.

She looked back at me with those huge eyes and I felt like I was being drawn to her. Like a magnet, unable to keep myself from pressing my lips to hers.

Another quick, comfortable kiss, like many of the others ones we had shared over the last few days. I was beginning to grow accustomed to their occurrence. It seemed so natural to just lean over and kiss her like that.

" You met at a coffee shop ? " Derek asked, pulling our attention away from each other and back to him. " I didn't even know you drank coffee, Casey. "

" Oh, yeah, " she smiled sweetly. " I'm pretty addicted to the stuff. "

Her eyes were still locked on mine and I couldn't decided if she was really talking about coffee or something much better.

When we got home, Rusty and Derek went inside as quickly as they could. It was starting to snow hard and they dashed for the house and the warmth that lay inside.

I lingered as I noticed Casey taking her time as well. She took my hand and we strolled up the front walk as if the snow coming down around us didn't exist.

" So, that's what we're doing, huh ? " I asked, suddenly pulling her close to me.

" What ? "

" We're just pretending the last year and a half never happened ? "

She nodded, " I thought it would be easier than inventing a bunch a lies. "

I agreed. " You were wonderful out there on the ice. "

She blushed and looked away from me. " I've been skating since I was old enough to walk. I love it. "

" Are you still mad at me for what I said earlier ? " I wanted to make sure she really was still thinking about all the things I'd said to her.

" I'm not mad. I just think you're wrong. Maybe we can talk about it again, later, after Derek leaves. " she suggested.

At least she was willing to talk about it. Then she really shocked me. We were alone on the lawn, no one around to pretend for. No one to see us. She reached out and pulled me close to her, her breath warm against my ear.

" There are still a few pieces of apple pie leftover. I thought maybe after everyone was asleep, we could finish it off. " she whispered.

I stepped back and looked at her. I was so confused by her that I didn't know what was happening.

" I know I said this afternoon that we could just see where this was leading, but I have to tell you, I'm completely confused. " I confessed.

" Confused by what ? " she asked, giving me the innocent, bright eyed look that meant she knew exactly what was confusing me.
" I'm just not sure what is going on here. First you say we should try being friends, then you're kissing me and I just don't get it. " I clarified.

" Can we talk about it later ? " she asked with her hand on my chest. " I'm not sure what I'm doing either, but it's really cold and we need to get inside before people come looking for us. "

I nodded and let her take my hand again and lead me into the warmth of the house.