Earlier…
For the first time, Jdehn truly believed she would die. Death wasn't waiting for thirteen more months either or for Phase III. It came with a comet's speed, looking to take her in the next day.
The headache she had suffered after the Vulcan memorial was nothing compared to this pain battering hard on each nerve ending. Her life's energy drained nearly visibly out through her skin.
If death did come, let it take me right here, with the Independent's controls under her hands and the long, half-moon console wrapped around her in an embrace. She had loved her ship ever since she first saw the bulbous freighter in the seller's bay. If it became her coffin, she couldn't pick a better one.
What did I tell that Kirk?
That she needed this one job to set her up for the next year she had to live? Her lips pulled back in a dark grin. Got the job done. Barely, and not at all if it weren't for the couple experienced hands she had taken on; Mekhai's muscle had helped, but since he had no experience, he was like a machine needing instructions. And Vi'hai... he couldn't do even that.
If Saavik had come with them, she could have taken over -- no, don't even think about it.
My ship. And they had gotten this far.
Now the Independent had full coffers, but it wasn't going to get her through the next year. The Romulan laughter in her ears told her so with every draining heartbeat.
It might not even get me to the Empire.
All their careful planning on how to slip through the Zone and what they would do if they got through. Getting her hired hands off the ship and to another job -- not that outrageous and pretty typical -- but still a detail she had to take care of as well as filing an innocent looking flight plan after she dropped her cargo; none of it mattered anymore.
The stars slipped by in a warp pattern. What could be more beautiful? If only pain didn't strap her down tighter than a safety harness, its heavy weight greater than any G-forces. She couldn't move, she didn't have the strength.
She suddenly missed Arik.
Where did that come from! Okay, it made a sort of sense. He had been a sweetheart and she wasn't coming out of this alive. If she and the ship were going to go down, he was the kind of person you wanted fighting next to you -
Actually, he wasn't. Mekhai was the better person for that, but Arik was the perfect kind to soothe the soul at the end of the day.
She gave a sudden hearty laugh inside her head. Look at me! Not long ago, no one who came from Hellguard would want each other anywhere near them. Now, she fought along side two of them and welcomed the touch of another.
Even with that, she didn't blame Arik for staying behind. She hoped he found whatever it was he wanted.
While she, well, she had a dying crew whose main goal was to live to get into the Empire. Just the thought of it put a fire back in her belly and sparked the passion again in her eyes. Revenge, justice: it didn't take a lot of strength, just a sharp mind and the remaining muscle in a finger to curl around a phaser trigger. And shine a spotlight on Hellguard's last scientist. Even Vi'hai still had that much life left in him.
Except, the Neutral Zone stayed far out of reach.
The stars are so beautiful though.
And a big part of what made them so wonderful was seeing them in the frame of her ship's port with no lights on the bridge except for the controls.
The new agony from the disease reached so high, it became another steady part of being alive... for the moment. Take a breath, hear the heartbeat in her side, feel the eternal existence of the pain and watch another star slip by.
What if she couldn't pull off their plan for crossing the Neutral Zone? In this condition? How could she breach it without getting killed by the Romulan cruisers on patrol?
Ram 'em.
Yeah… wherever that thought came from, it might work. It wouldn't be the kv'sa who created her, but no one was innocent in the Empire. It'd be some kind of justice.
Yeah, ram 'em. Take 'em out in a fireball... maybe the way Hellguard had looked when it died.
She blinked away the daze of stars and ache. She didn't need the ship's chronometer to tell her she had been out for hours. The pain woke up with her, more fierce than ever.
We should go back.
No, what was she thinking! Go back? Where?
Vulcan. Even the thought of it, hot against the backdrop of cool space, made her feel better. Yes, go back. Everything called for her to go back, and answer Vulcan calling for them to come home. Not the way it had burned in her during Phase II. Thank whoever watches over wayward mutts like me for that! This was a soft yearning for comfort and sanctuary.
Maybe that was why she had searched for Vulcan fleet ships out this way without knowing she had. The Exploration wasn't far away. She--
--had better put some distance between us! Or they'll figure out where we're going! C'mon, get your head in the game!
The cool, dark bridge reassured her: she'd figure out a way, she'd get them across the Neutral Zone. The Symmetry had done it, she could do it too. She--
Snapped out of drifting again. Her eyes blinked pain. Her body became a dead weight in her seat. She couldn't even slide a hand from one control to the other. Her head lolled to one shoulder and found Vi'hai on his cabin's monitor. He laid on his bunk, still and pale as death with only the thin remains of his chest barely moving with life. Her eyelids fell shut.
"Jdehn."
The hoarse sound of her name came from the floor. Her head fell off her shoulder and hung painfully below it. Mekhai crawled an inch more on the deckplate.
Every muscle strained in his body just to speak. "Don' do it."
"Wha'?" She didn't have his brawn to say anymore.
"Don' turn back."
She wasted too much energy in figuring out if he really said that or if she was unconscious again. "How di' ja know?"
"'Cause... 'cause it's all I wanna do too." He laughed with a sob and fell flat on the deck, not moving anymore.
The Romulans stayed out there and out of reach. If the Independence got to the Zone, it would carry only corpses. Or if they lived, they would be shot out of the stars with as little effort and significance as brushing lint off a jacket.
Insignificant... she had learned a lot since Hellguard. When she died, she'd be like that first girl they saw in that Ejarh's records, whatshername - Dhivael. Yeah, Jdehn would die like Dhivael, with an education in her head.
So what had she learned? Think, damn you! Even Hellguard taught you better than this!
Find a bolt hole, some place to curl up, escape, survive… until the day came when she had an opportunity for more. Like when the Symmetry rescued her – and gave her food, water, shelter – and the people with faces like the Romulans had quiet voices instead of shouts, gentle hands instead of fists, lifted her up instead of putting a boot to her throat. Even if some of them had done it with hurt or reluctance or disapproval, who cared? Not her, especially not then. They had done it, they had given her a life, which was a thousand times more than the Roms had done.
Maybe even Vi'hai would live to see a day like that again, if she got help.
She drew in the life breath of the Independent, a blend of lubricants, metal and wiring, all mixed with the dust and recycled air of a hundred worlds. Her right hand dragged to the right comm controls and worked them blind. When she picked to signal the Vulcan ship instead of a broadband Mayday, the pain eased a little bit.
Her next conscious sight was the Exploration's healer leaning over her. Or captain, she didn' t know the insignias. But the pain was mercifully gone and her sleepiness the normal aftermath of recovering from such stress on the body. She stayed awake long enough to ask about her ship and passengers, and hearing they were fine, she drifted back to sending a thought out to the Empire. She had her thirteen months back. She'd find her Romulan parent before that final day when it would be just her and her ship headed for the grave.
She slept with a smile.
Spock's vehicle computer rang with an alarm from ShiKahr's central advisory. A thunderstorm predicted to stay in the outskirts of the Llangon mountains had switched course. Its strong pressure front whipped the wind into an increasing fury and picked up strength from the cool air of the desert's growing night. It crossed the still heated ground and gave birth to a sandstorm.
The newborn tempest marched with a massive front edge that drove across the distance like the front line of an enemy armada. It cut off his path from the Science Academy to his family's estate. If he dared risk going home, the storm would smash his light vehicle into the ground, if it didn't tear him apart in the air.
Kirk answered his call. "Spock! Are you picking up the storm?"
"The onboard sensors have warned me, Captain. The storm's severity is an insufficient level to damage even the smaller dwellings. However, I estimate it is grounding all traffic."
"We're getting the same readings. Don't try coming here, you won't make it ahead of that front. Is Bones with you?"
"Negative, Captain. He remained at the hospital to investigate the condition the Exploration found in Jdehn and her crew."
A muscle in Kirk's jaw twitched. Unlike Spock, he had left the Academy after the results from the truth verifier came in; McCoy's battles sounded as bad as theirs. "Did they find out what caused the new stage of the disease?"
"Not as of yet, Captain, although they do not believe it is a true, new stage. More than likely, it is a related condition, brought on by a weakened state."
His captain did not relax that tight jaw. "At least they're over it and home. We have to find you – Wait a minute, Spock."
He stepped aside so Sarek could move in along side of him. "Spock, are these your correct coordinates?"
He double checked them against the onboard computer. "Yes, Father. I am searching for nearby shelters."
"We have one for you. You are in close proximity to Saavik's house and you should have sufficient time to reach it before the storm strikes. We will contact Saavik to inform her of your arrival."
Saavik's house? Saavik has her own home? It rivaled the moment he had heard her being introduced as Saavik of Vulcan – and discovering the trunk from the Aerfen.
He confirmed the destination and set the vehicle on the new course. Shifting dust in the wind dimmed the remaining twilight, and dropped visibility from poor to practically impossible.
A disturbing sign. The storm moved in faster than he or his father had predicted. He had nearly reached the coordinates, but could only make out a black outline where the house should be. He needed more than that to set down safely. If he touched down on uneven ground in this weather, the vehicle would be tossed and him with it.
On cue, lights blazed out of the dark, irregular shape ahead of him, piercing the violence and transformed the structure into a modest home and a place for his vehicle. A communications signal from the house's systems guided him on where to set down, and he could finally see something in the tumultuous flow of gray shadows and dark red cyclones of sand.
A tall, slim form came out in a Vulcan robe, hood up, and stood by the landing bay within its protective walls. His stern touch battled for control against the greedy wind over the vehicle. The storm's hold dimmed as it battered against the bay walls, but he didn't have a victory until the pads wobbled and then thumped into a secure landing.
Saavik slapped the bay's controls to close it off and came to his side with another robe. "Are you well?"
He nodded as he pulled the protective clothing on, drawing the hood over his head, for the few exposed moments before the bay sealed itself.
"The storm's severity does not endanger the house or the vehicle bay. However, we should stay inside until it passes." She didn't wait any longer, but led him inside to safety. Once in a small foyer, they slipped out of the protective garments, the dust falling from them in a combination of running off like rain and puffing out in clouds like steam.
Saavik took the robe from him. "Be welcome to my home."
His answer was just as formal, but his eyebrows screwed together over her acting this way. Was it because they were alone and with no buffer? The last time they had talked was at the hospital when he had questioned what she had said to Mekhai about staying behind. "The blessings of logic on your house."
She dipped her head in a small bow and gestured for him to enter. He moved forward the few steps into the house. Traditional and modern Vulcan blended together to welcome him from the very first view. In the center was the customary firepit with the square of table and seats around it for the house's family and guests. But instead of being in a courtyard, it served as a pivot point with the house's main rooms right off of it. His eyes swept around the living area taking up the majority of the space on the left before they came back to Saavik.
"It is most unique and interesting, Saavik." He couldn't have given her any better compliment.
Her eyes shone with a deep luster. "I knew you would be one of the few to fully appreciate its significance."
Not just in its architecture, but to her. It told him why she had been formal earlier. When she welcomed him, she did it in full to underscore the importance of her having this place.
She gazed over the areas around where they stood. It was mostly bare. Only a peep of furniture and belongings existed in a room two steps down from the living area. "It is not ready to welcome guests, as you can see. Sacrificing the need for furnishings was necessary for more important priorities. However, the circumstances of the storm has caused me to receive you despite this break with hospitality. I did not believe you would mind."
Far from it. "On the contrary, I am pleased for the opportunity. I would have welcomed it without the storm having happened. I do not recognize a number of these designs and systems. May I?"
She motioned for him to proceed her, but only moved closer to the fire area. "May I offer you refreshment?"
It was also traditional. A guest was given the fire's warmth, water and even food. But Spock wanted something else.
"If you would not mind, I'd prefer to hear about your home first."
The light in her eyes grew into a glow around her. She put their robes away and came back to lead him in exploring the living area first. The way she did it, with her elegant head high, told him this was more than just about owning a house.
"I was most fortunate. You have most likely heard of the master architect, Li'Sek. He challenged his protegeés for new concepts and they sought someone willing to allow them to use their proposals in their home. This structure was scheduled for demolition. Instead, I was able to assume ownership and volunteer for the architectural project. If not for that opportunity and your parents discovering it for me, I would not have the house."
The house was full of surprises. First that Saavik owned it, even that a restless, star wanderer like her wanted it, and now he learned Sarek and Amanda had made it happen.
The floor was made of a dark stone and a cushion of warm air floated up from it, heating the room through its natural property of rising to the ceiling. Two story windows, currently shuttered, made up almost the entire front wall of the livingroom. Above them, the smaller, traditional windows would bring in cool breezes from the desert, except they funneled into a duct system made to look like a sculpted design in the ceiling.
She noticed where his eyes stayed. "One of their revolutionary ideas is the natural capture of outside air elements for the heating and cooling system. Perhaps you would like to see more of it?"
She didn't really have to ask and it was obvious she knew it by her gesture to cross the room. It was unfurnished, but a small dais was built into the light colored, side wall to showcase the Twilight Eagle statue. A simple staircase led up to an open loft, while two steps down took him into Saavik's work area. Here, obviously, was the sacrificed cost for furnishings for the living area. A computer system to do a starship proud wrapped around the small room. The windows behind it were equally shuttered and as tall as their counterparts on the opposite side. An empty dining area and then a kitchen, filled with both modern conveniences and Vulcan traditional, came off this study.
She punched up a set of schematics on the computer. Spock listened in admiration of the tank systems in the roof capturing the heat of the day, rotating it to the tanks in the foundation for warming the night, while the roof system pulled in the naturally cool, evening air to expel it during the day.
He asked again, "May I see more of this? The engineers are to be commended. Even without the storm, I would have supposed drafts from the desert would seep in with the large size and number of windows, and yet they do not."
She vacated her chair so he could sit and study the diagrams in greater detail.
"Spock, your investigation was to apply the truth verifier on the three suspects today, was it not? Are the results available?"
"They are unclassified, especially to you and the others affected by the attacks." Spock looked away from the flowing diagram of the house's tank system. He didn't get a facial tic as Kirk had over what he was about to say, but that didn't mean he was pleased. "All three, Sorel, S'ad, and Salok agreed readily to the test and each stated they were not involved in the disease or any attacks on Hellguard's survivors. Each of them had passed." He paused. "The verifier states they told the truth."
She made no disappointed reaction, of course. She was too disciplined for that. "Nurse Dasan's eyewitness account was fallible by his own admission, whereas the truth verifier is not. We also know it must be a member of the medical team due to the security on the stasis chambers. Could the legal authority to use the verifier be extended to the other team members?"
"The legal extension is unnecessary. Every member of the medical team had demanded a chance to verify their innocence and each has passed."
She still maintained her discipline and only grew quiet for a moment, even though that news meant they were back to the beginning instead of having the killer in hand and moving towards the cure.
No wonder Kirk's jaw got so tight, the muscles jumped.
Ultimately, she responded, "Indeed. It delivers a quandary."
Spock's head bobbed. "Yes, of who to believe? The truth verifier which cannot be overridden or the security on the stasis chambers which contradicts it?"
They stood quiet under the weight of a battle being lost.
"I have been reticent in not finishing the tour," Saavik spoke into the silence. She led him down the hall where the private quarters would be, except the house also broke with tradition here. Her room wasn't here, but the guest room was and conveniently stocked with its own climate controls. Set currently, Spock could tell, for Rrelthiz.
"Commander Uhura left safely?" Saavik asked.
Another blow they had handed to them today. In the middle of losing what little ground they had gained, they lost a vital team member.
"She did. She still retains the expectation to return."
"She said as much to me as well. Specifically, she told me she would return before the end of the next thirteen months."
When Saavik's time ran out.
They crossed around the square perimeter which led them back to the living area where Spock thought the tour would stop.
"Were you able to specify personal elements for your home, Saavik, or was your volunteering for the project an agreement to allow only their designs to be used?"
Her previous animation came back and flowed into him. "I was allowed a number of specifications to be used. As an example, I requested the front and rear views, although the engineers accomplished how to do so on a larger scale. The separate climate controls for the guest room was also by my request." She led him up the stairs to the loft that lay atop the work study and dining area. "The majority of my requests had to do with here."
It was her room that he thought hidden somewhere downstairs. He barely made note of the sleeping platform, dresser, and other simple and elegant furnishings, all in black, rich browns and contrasting creams. Something made him look up immediately, perhaps Saavik standing in the room, watching him expectantly. A large skylight opened the night above to the entire loft. The ending sandstorm had scrubbed the evening to a clear brilliance, and his eyes came down to watch Saavik watch the stars.
Even grounded on Vulcan, she sleeps amidst them.
As well as in between the sights hidden by the shutters. Her eyes met his, and he saw a delicate light brighten them. She knew she spoiled herself.
The next sight wasn't so pleasant and in fact, it was deeply painful. On her dresser was the box holding his faked letter to her.
How could she keep it? She had said she would at the hospital, but so much had happened since then.
But she indicated for him to follow and never knew he even noticed the box.
She showed him a meditation platform that jutted off her loft: suspended in mid-air, small flame jets set all around the perimeter, no railings or walls to stop her from being open to the desert on her left, the ShiKahr skyline on her right, and the sky above her. Spock now knew the views those windows would give him when they became unshuttered. They, this platform, and the entire house, was truly built for her.
She led him back inside and he took the refreshments honoring him as a guest, but brought them to her study. They had work to do.
Who to believe? The hand that said someone on the medical team had to be behind all this or the hand that said they told the truth that they were innocent.
He gave her systems access to the Academy and the hospital without hesitation. While he did that, Saavik opened the shutters on both sides of the house.
The glory of the desert and the glow of Vulcan's society: Spock moved his chair, which she had kindly given to him as guest and senior officer, so he could see both peripherally while at the computer station. She excused herself to get more water for herself, after asking if he would like more as well.
Not surprising, they had both pondered where had the investigation gone wrong? How could the doctors and nurses be innocent?
"What if they were used without their knowledge?" That was Saavik's first attack.
"Specify," he requested.
"My theory stems from my personal experience on the Aerfen and the guard's experience with the stasis security. Neither of us has knowledge of those events. A viable solution is the offender was trusted with our security access and made use of it in this fashion without our knowing it was done."
"The theory has a flaw in your case."
She agreed. "My lack of memory in meeting the person who came onboard. However, for our argument regarding the stasis chambers, that element does not affect the equation."
Spock's eyebrow rose. "Hypothetically, this person would have access to at least one member of the medical team."
"He may have also be the one who came to me on the Aerfen and meet the general physical description in Nurse Dasan's memory."
And be someone who would have satisfied Saavik in speaking to her and need to remove his records from the ship's data. That was a short list.
They had their own ideas for who that could be and set off on separate research. At one point, Spock watched her. She sat on a cushion, her knees drawn up to her chest, and the tricorder dangling from its black strap between them from her hands.
One of the things he had missed most about Saavik was the power of her intellect, that absolute thirst for knowledge. It was one of the most attractive parts of her personality, and something unique. He knew many strong people --strength and bravery, the courage to go into the unknown or danger, were qualities everyone close to him shared. She had them, plus the way her intelligence worked in tandem with him now, sometimes forging ahead and looking back to share what she found.
He suddenly remembered that night when they had run in Death Valley, stopping to watch the sunset. Now again her eyes were alight as she drank in a desert's beauty. This woman both familiar and now so fascinatingly unfamiliar.
She sensed his eyes on her as she had then. She raised an eyebrow in question.
"I merely wondered what you were thinking."
"Dr. McCoy informed me of Sorel's statement regarding his not knowing his own actions if a someone like myself was a child of someone he lost to Hellguard. I correlated it with the working theory of another Vulcan aiding whoever is responsible for the disease. I see you investigate the Symmetry team. It appears illogical." She waited for him to make an argument, but he made none. He was listening. "As you will recall, Dr. McCoy's point was: if the killers believe that everything having to do with the hybrids like myself must be removed, surely they would strike the Symmetry team as well. The response is obvious."
"It is," he agreed quite calmly. "The attacker is a member of the Symmetry team or has a member of the team aiding them. They would not make a move against themselves."
"However, can we logically believe it of one of those people? Even S'tven, even of him I cannot believe it. Spock, if you were to use the word hate, as Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy do, someone who hates the hybrids-- We have already ruled out many who do. The Romulans, those groups we are able to track down." Saavik's voice trailed off.
He waited. When she said no more, he prompted her. "And?"
She took the last sip from her glass. "...Sorel spoke of pain, not hate. S'tven and those like him suffer. It is not the same thing."
The comm station signaled for attention. He answered it. It was McCoy.
"Spock, everything all right there?"
"Of course, Doctor. I thought you received my message saying I arrived safely."
"Spock--"
Saavik took this opportunity to go into the kitchen.
"--Rrelthiz' planet is calling her back. They're having a crisis there and she's needed."
"That is... regrettable news." He thought of the guest room with its perfectly set environment for the Carreon that would never get used now.
"Spock... something else. In the time you've been there, have you noticed Saavik eating or drinking more than usual?"
Spock thought about his answer, how he had seen her constantly with a water glass by her side, how she was in the kitchen now. "I do not know if it is more than usual. I have seen her doing both."
"Spock...it's only that... I just came back from examining Arik and the two others. I saw some symptoms and ran some tests... I did the same thing with Saavik earlier today, just in case."
"Doctor, your hesitation does not improve the situation."
McCoy let out a long sigh. "Spock, Saavik's in Phase III."