I was panting, gasping for every precious breath of air as I saw the ground coming closer and closer to my face. The ball in my hand slipped and I tried to tighten my grip but I lost it and it tumbled out of my grasp. Then I was down, hitting the cold, snow covered earth with a whoosh as the breath completely left my lungs.

It was a bone chattering hit and I sat there shaking my head for a few moments trying to wave it off. Tommy was over me, holding his hand out to help me up. Taking it, I eased back to my feet.

" That was some hit. " he announced. " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I tripped. "

I held my hand up to stop him. Football in the backyard was usually not so rough. It was an accident. I'd seen it coming and attempted to get out of the way, but I wasn't fast enough and both of us went down like a ton of bricks.

Dusting the snow from my jeans, I smiled at him and assured him I wasn't hurt.

Still the episode seemed to have put an end to our yard game, leaving Rusty and I with the win by seven.

" Hey, Case. " Tommy yelled towards the back door. I hadn't noticed she was watching us until then and I looked over and returned the smile she was throwing my way. " I think I just pummeled your boyfriend. "
" Yeah, I saw that. " she agreed, walking to me and checking me over.

I waved her away. " I'm fine. Hell, Beaver has done much worse. "

Laura, Casey's new shadow came up to us and smiled sweetly.

Laura had attached herself to Casey and while she was around, she never left her side. It was kind of cute, like having a mini Casey shadowing her every move.

When Casey bent to brush more snow from my leg, Laura did the same, emulating her exactly.

I laughed and Casey shot me a warning look, with a twinkle in her eye that said she thought it was funny as well.

" I need a drink. " I announced heading into the house. I heard Jeff agree with me and his footsteps fell into sync with mine as I went to the kitchen.

Opening the refrigerator, I pulled out two bottles of water and handed one to the other man before opening my own and nearly draining it in one long gulp.

When I pulled the bottle away, Jeff was eying me with a look I wasn't sure of.

" You play really well. " he said, looking away when he saw that I noticed him looking at me. " Why don't you play at school ? "

I laughed. " Do you know how much work that is ? And the hours they expect you to be at practice. " I shook my head. " I value my social life way too much for that. "

He laughed as well and took a drink. " How long have you been seeing Casey ? "

" Since Freshman year. " I answered. I'd said it so many times in the last couple of days I was beginning to believe it myself.

Then I tensed as he suddenly stepped closer to me than I was completely comfortable with. " You seem very happy together. "

I nodded. " We are. "

I thought he was about to reach out and touch my chest and I took an involuntary step back from him, creating a more comfortable space.

" I don't bite. " He gave me a toothy smile that caused a shudder to run through me.

Was he really coming on to me ? I thought maybe I was misreading the entire thing. That couldn't possibly be what was happening. He knew Casey and I were together. He knew I was straight and he came here with his boyfriend. All that said that this was not happening like I thought it was.

But he raised a hand and rested it on my chest for a moment. I was too shocked to move. I looked down at his hand. He was still wearing that creepy smile.

" You have wonderful muscle tone. " He breathed.

That was it. I jumped and got as far away from him as I could. What a jackass ! I wasn't sure what I should do. Hitting him came to mind but I thought that might not go over so well with the other family members. So instead I left the kitchen, seeking out Rusty in the living room.

Once I hustled him upstairs I was just about to tell him the everything that had just happened when Casey came into the room.

" What's going on ? I saw you leave like there was a big conspiracy. Is there gossip ? " She looked like she was about to burst as her eyes back and forth between us.

" Jeff just came on to me in the kitchen. " I announced quickly.

Rusty laughed, but seeing my expression he stopped abruptly. " Are you serious ? You can't be serious."

Casey stared at me in disbelief. " Maybe he was just being friendly and you took it wrong. "

" You know, " I said, beginning to pace to try and release some of the tension from my body. " I thought the same thing at first. But believe me, I've had guys come on to me before. I didn't misunderstand. "

" What the hell do we do ? " Rusty asked, still looking dumbfounded.

" We have to tell Tommy. " Casey said, firmly. " He has to know about this. "

" Tell Tommy what ? " the man in question asked as he came into the room.

We all looked up and then away from him. Everyone in the room started moving nervously. Until he repeated the question. Casey was the one to step up finally.

She moved in front of him and put her hands on his shoulders. " Apparently, Jeff just hit on Cappie in the kitchen. "

Tommy paled for a moment before glancing at me, then back at Casey. " Surely, he just mis interrupted things. Jeff wouldn't do that. "

I came to him. " Believe me, we all just went over this. I didn't misunderstand anything. I"m sorry, Man. But he came on to me. "

" What did he say ? " he asked, looking a little shaken.

I hesitated. It was bad enough to know that your boyfriend was hitting on other men, I thought knowing exactly how was a bit morbid.

" Tell me. " he insisted.

I nodded. " He came up to me. I stepped back and he told he didn't bite. Then he put his hand on my chest and said I had great muscle tone. "

Tommy didn't move for a moment. Then he let out a loud, long breath and pulled his hands through his short blond hair. " Damn it. " He looked back at me. " I'm sorry. "

" Don't apologize to me. I'm the one that's sorry. Casey said you've been together for a while. " I told him, unable to believe that he was telling me he was sorry.

He sighed again. " Still, I hope he didn't freak you out or anything, having some strange guy coming on to you like that. "

I chuckled. " I'm not freaked. I've had stranger guys hit on me. " I assured. " I'm good. But you don't look so great. "

His eyes were kind of glazed over and his tanned skin tone paled.

" I need to talk to him. I'm really sorry, guys. I can' t believe he'd do something like this here. "

He turned and left before we could say anything else.

" Did anyone else get the impression this was not the first time something like this has happened ? " Rusty asked as he stared after him.

" Yeah, I kind of did. " I agreed.

Rusty flopped down on the foot of his bed. " How can people do that ? " he wondered out loud. " I mean, maybe I could see it happening once. " he paused. " Actually, I can't even see forgiving it once, come to think of it. But more than once. I just couldn't be with someone like that, wondering every minute if they were off trying to hook up with someone else. "

Casey wasn't saying anything and I looked at her curiously. She had a distant look on her face, like she was thinking about something, or rather remembering something. Then it occurred to me, was she thinking of me ? Did she think that because of the thing with Rebbecca I was likely to go around behind her back like that ? Was that how she saw me now ? As someone she couldn't trust ?

" Maybe you can't understand until you've been there. " she said quietly and left the room without another word.

Rusty looked at me questioningly. I shrugged and followed her out.

I had just stepped into the hall when I saw her door closing. I knocked and heard a muffled ' Not now" from the other side. I had never been one to take no for an answer, so I let myself in.

She was laying on the bed, her back turned to me. But I could see by the shaking of her shoulders that she was crying.

" Case, you okay ? "

" Just leave me alone. I'm fine. " she answered without turning around.

I went to the bed and sat beside her. " You know I'm not going to do that. Especially not if I'm to blame for this. "

She turned then and looked at me like I was an alien. " You ? " she asked. " Why would you be to blame for this ? "

I sat back. " I just thought that after last night and all, I thought maybe that was why you were crying."

She smiled at me despite the tears that still streamed down her checks. " Cappie, I have never stopped trusting you. You haven't given me a reason not to. " she told me.

Now I was really confused. Was she this upset over Tommy and Jeff ? But as she started talking again, my brain slowly caught up.

" Right after I found out about them, " she began. " I just could not stop picturing him off somewhere every time I wasn't with him, trying to get with everything in a skirt that crossed his path. Every time I passed two people making out, I did a double take, checking to see if it was him. "

Her tears were coming on stronger now and I pulled her into me, letting her rest her head against my chest.

" I was just so disgusted every time he touched me. I didn't want to look at him. My stomach turned when he told me he loved me. Then Fran insisted that I forgive him, she threatened to toss me out of the house, practically. I felt like I didn't have a choice. " I rubbed her back and let her continue to talk, not saying anything. " Taking him back was so awful. And then for weeks I couldn't sleep, I kept picturing him off on another conquest when I closed my eyes. " She shifted slightly and looked up at me. " Thank you. "

I was confused and told her as much.

" Thank you for not ever doing anything like that to me. I couldn't have taken it if you had betrayed me like that. Feeling like a fool with him was one thing, but with you, it would have killed me. "

I stared at her with my heart in my throat. I had no idea how to respond to that.

" You know, It wasn't even the cheating that really got me. It was feeling like I was the punchline in a joke because I believed him when he said he loved me. I trusted him when I told him I loved him too. Then he went behind my back like that. I don't think he would have told me if I hadn't seen them."

I pulled back from her. " You caught them ? You actually saw them together ? "

She nodded with a sniffle. " In his room. "

I was flabbergasted. Again, knowing that your boyfriend is cheating is one thing, but to see it. I couldn't even imagine how it would feel to actually see Casey with another man like that. I tightened my arms around her. I hadn't known how much Evan had really hurt her until then. I didn't know the extent of the damage he had caused.

I wanted to find him in that moment. I wished we were still at school so I could get to him. I'm not normally an angry person, but the rage I felt bubbling inside me right then was almost more than I could handle.

" I'm so sorry. Casey. "

" I just felt so humiliated. Everyone knew what had happened. And I couldn't do anything about it. I was helpless. That's when he figured out how much power he had. " she continued, not ready to stop talking yet.

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. " What do you mean, how much power he had? "

She sighed and buried her head into my chest again. " Rebbecca wasn't the only freshman he was with. There were others. He doesn't know that I know about them, but I do. "

" Are you sure ? " I asked, holding her tighter. " Maybe you're wrong. "

She shook her head, wiping her eyes on my shirt in the process. " No, I'm not wrong. Ashleigh and Jenn both caught him at the Tri Pi house. He goes there slumming every Wednesday because he knows that I have a house meeting on Wednesday night. "

" How did Ashleigh and Jenn see him if you have a house meeting ? " I wanted to know. I was afraid of her answer actually. Afraid of the depth he had caused her to sink into.

" You'll think I'm awful. "

" You asked them to follow him, didn't you ? " I already knew the answer and it made my heart jolt once again. I couldn't imagine what she had been going through before making the decision to have her sisters spy on her boyfriend.

She nodded slightly and refused to look at me when I pulled back from her. I raised her eyes to mine with a finger under her chin.

" You aren't the awful one, Casey. He shouldn't have put you in a position where you felt like you had to do something like that. " I told her. " But how could you have taken his lavaieler after that ? "

She looked away, pulling her face from my hand. " I had to. I had to do what I had to do in order to get what I really wanted. "

" Oh, Case. That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. " I admitted with a sigh.

" I know. But it gets worse. I actually thought about marrying him. I resigned myself to the thought of having a husband that kept a harem of women around. I knew that was what it would be like if we did get married. I knew he would never be faithful to me. So I tried to make myself okay with that. "

" You should never have to deal with something like that. You deserve more than that. " I said, quietly. " You deserve to be treated like you are the only woman in the world. "

She looked at me with a soft expression in her eyes. " I deserve to be loved like you love me. "

It was a whisper in the almost dark room and I thought for a moment that I'd misheard her. Made myself believe I was hearing what I wanted to hearing instead of what she was actually saying. But the look in her eyes told me I wasn't wrong.

I shook my head. " No, Case, you deserve much, much more than me. "

" Do you know what Ashleigh told me before I left, when she found out that Evan and I broke up ? "

I nodded. " She said, I needed to let myself be loved my someone who thinks I'm his entire world. "

I smiled. " Smart girl, that Ashleigh. People don't really give her enough credit. "

She leaned up until her lips were just inches from mine. " She was wrong. " she whispered, her mouth almost brushing mine as she spoke. " I think I need to love someone like he is My entire world. "

I pulled away a second before she kissed me. " Are you certain you want this ? " I asked, not believing I was doing it.

Her eyes dropped to my lips then back to my eyes. She nodded and leaned in again. But once again, I moved away. " I don't want you to wake up tomorrow with a huge case of buyer's remorse. I know I messed up. Are you really ready to forget that ? "

She dropped her shoulders and sat back, returning to her own personal space. Although that was a weird concept between us. With most people Casey was one of those individuals that had a wide personal space. You could tell from the set of her shoulders and the look on her face that she was uncomfortable with people getting too close to her. Only very few of us were allowed to penetrate that barrier she erected for the other people in the world. I had always felt very privileged for the fact that with me she seemed to have no barrier. Even with her sisters, even with Ashleigh, who was allowed to get closer than most, she kept herself behind that wall. I felt very special knowing that with me,she didn't have any walls.

Or at least that was how we were once. After our break up, I had been forced to the other side of her barricade. Thrown into the area everyone else was held to. But I noticed, Evan hadn't ever really taken my place inside the wall. She kept him at the same distance she kept Ashleigh and Fran, just out of reach of the real her.

Another thought occurred to me and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe, just maybe she needed me as much as I needed her. Maybe she needed to feel the kind of connection we had. Perhaps she needed someone she trusted enough to let inside the fortress she'd made.

" You are kind of acting like you don't want me to forgive you. " she told me with her back to me. "Have you changed your mind, decided we shouldn't be together after all ? "

I took her shoulder and turned her to me, taking her in my arms and kissing her. She let out a surprised squeak before sinking into me, letting herself melt in my arms. One of the greatest things I'd ever experienced in my life was kissing Casey. I loved the way she completely crumbled against me, almost her entire weight dropping down on me as I held her in my arms. It had always been like that with her. I was pretty sure it wasn't just my kissing skills that caused it. I think it was because she knew that as long as I had her against me, as long as she was in my arms, she was free from everything else. That's how I always wanted her to feel when I held her, protected and free.

" Cap, " she breathed as she pulled away for much needed air.

I stopped just at the point of claiming her lips again as her hand nudged my shoulder gently.

" I have some things I want to say first. " She drew in a ragged breath as I reluctantly let her go. "some things you need to hear. "

I nodded and settled back into the pillows of the bed, letting them surround me in their softness. She came to me and rested herself at my side, her head once again on my chest. I couldn't see her face from this angle and I was a little suspicious that that may have been the plan. Casey was always better at the emotional outpourings when no one was looking at her. And something in her tone made me think that perhaps that was what was coming.

" I think you should know the real reason I left last time. " she started and I had to will my body not to tense. I had always believed that Fran was the reason she left me. Now she had me wondering. Had I done something or said something to cause her to leave ?

" Okay, " I answered finally swallowing hard.

" You need to understand how much you scared me, first of all. "

" I scared you ? " I was shocked. What had I done to cause her to fear me ?

" Just lay there and be quiet and let me talk. " she told me sternly as she raised her head.

I nodded, but didn't say another word. She put her head back down and continued. " It wasn't you that scared me really. It was me. I was so completely wrapped up in you, I couldn't think about anything else. You were all I thought about. I couldn't concentrate in class. I was even failing a few of them. I couldn't hang out with my friends. I even stopped calling home for a while. Everything I did revolved around you. "

This was the first I had ever heard of any of this and I was amazed. I thought, back then, that I was alone in my feelings for her. I even feared I was a little obsessed with her. So I understood exactly what she was saying and I wanted to tell her that I had felt the same, but I remembered at the last moment and remained silent.

" So when Fran came to me, she didn't come to me and tell me you were not the sort of man a ZBZ dates. She came to me and said that she thought we were dangerous. She thought we were self destructive, that we loved each other too much. And when I looked at it, really looked at it, I agreed. That's why I left. "

She fell silent and I wasn't sure if it was okay for me to talk again so I didn't. We were both quiet for a long while, staring off into space, lost in our own thoughts over the revelation she had just made.

It was Casey that broke the silence once again by nudging me in the stomach with her elbow. " Say something. " she demanded.

" I agree. I think maybe we were a little obsessed. I didn't know you felt like that, but I know I did and it scared me a little, too." I answered. " But I think we're older now and a little wiser. I think we can make this work this time. "

She raised up. " What happens when we fall right back into that pattern ? When we throw everything else out the window like that ? "

I shrugged. " Then we deal with it. "

" Cappie, I can't afford to let anything become more important to me than school right now. I have a year and a half left before graduate school. I need to make the most of the time I have left. " she explained.

I pulled her to me and held her close. " I know. And I want to make sure you make the most out of it, too. I don't want anything to come between you and your dreams. So if we see it's becoming a problem, we'll deal with it. "

She leaned up, resting her body over mine and looked into my eyes. " So no more crazy, mad obsessive love ? "

I nodded. " From now on, it's just total, deep, supportive love. "

She laughed. " I don't believe you. "

I joined her. " Okay, maybe there will always be a little crazy, obsessiveness on my part anyway, but I can manage to keep it in its proper place. "

She cocked an eyebrow at me. " And where is its proper place ? "

I yanked her even tighter into me and kissed her. " Here, of course. "

I melted once again and we spent the rest of the afternoon in our own crazy, mad, obsessive world.

A/N : Next time another stunning revelation in the epic tale. Look for it coming later this week.