She was wearing red. A deep blood red dress that hugged tightly to every curve of her perfectly shaped body with a low neck line that emphasized her cleavage. Her bare, tanned, flawless shoulders caught my eye and drew it to the pendant that hung in the middle of her chest. It glimmered so brightly, it seemed to twinkle like the lights on the tree beside her.

It was the night before Christmas Eve and the Cartwrights were hosting their annual party. Apparently it was quite the affair and everyone in the neighborhood turned out for the event. Several people milled about with glasses of eggnog and other lethal combinations of spirits. Everyone dressed in their holiday finery. Everyone doing their best to look their best. Not one of them was even in the same league with Casey.

I was utterly unable to keep my eyes from wandering to her every chance I got. She gave me a soft, knowing smile every time she caught me watching her, which was quite often. She seemed to be seeking me out as well. My heart gave a little leap at the thought of that. Just thinking that I might have the same effect on her that she had on me was awe-inspiring.

I dragged my gaze away from her and turned my attention back to the people that were standing around me in a sort of cock-eyed circle discussing football, last time I checked in. Tommy, Glen, and Uncle Joe had joined Rusty and I along with Mike and Ted, both neighbors. Mike lived next door, while Ted was directly across the street. I remembered Mike's house as being one of the largest on the block and his attitude said he was very proud of that fact. He was pompous and posturing and reminded me a lot of Evan's father. I instantly didn't like the man. From the looks Rusty and Tommy were shooting me and each other I could tell that they shared my opinion.

I emptied the glass in my hand just as Rusty did the same and we excused ourselves to seek out a refill.

" That guy has always bothered me. He was always yelling at Casey and I every time we walked on his grass. " Rusty told me as we entered the much quieter kitchen. I was glad to escape the droning sound of bad Christmas music playing in the living room.

I was just filling my glass from a pitcher of ready made eggnog when I felt hands snake around my waist and I leaned back instantly and bent towards a pair of warm, very familiar lips.

" I finally managed to get away from her. " She sighed against me.

She had been talking to Joanne, Mike's wife and from her tone they were a match made in Heaven.

" She will not stop nagging me. "

I turned in her arms after setting my glass aside and smiled down at her. " Nagging you about what ? "

" What I'm going to do after I graduate, when I'm going to get married, when I'm going to start having children. According to her, that is the only important thing a woman can accomplish. "

" You're barely twenty-two years old and she's already nagging you about having children ? " I asked, astounded that some women still held that kind of backwards attitude.

" Oh, yes. It is never too early to start thinking about such things. She is under the opinion that the earlier you start a family, the better your chances are of having grandchildren when you're still young enough to enjoy them. " She laughed.

" Tommy is really down about the whole thing with Jeff. " Rusty interjected. " I guess he sent him packing and now he's determined to enjoy his holiday without him. I was thinking he might need a little cheer up. "

I glanced at Rusty for a moment before giving in to the temptation to kiss the woman in my arms briefly. Then I looked back to him. " What did you have in mind ? "

" I thought I could give him the patented Kappa Tau treatment. " he said, " I am going to steal a bottle of whiskey and sneak up stairs. "

" You're ducking out of the party ? " Casey eyed him critically. " Mom and Dad are going to notice. "

" Yeah, " he shrugged. " But I'm guessing they'll understand after everything this afternoon. Do you guys want to join us ? "

The next thing I knew Rusty, Casey, Tommy and I were barricaded in Rusty's bedroom passing around a bottle of whiskey. We were all piled on the bed. Laughing and talking about school and life in general.

Suddenly Tommy looked at me and gave me a genuine smile. " I really appreciate you not freaking out about Jeff. He promised to behave while we were here. I still can't believe he did it. "

I nodded and tipped the bottle in my hand towards him. " It's no big deal, really. "

" Yes, it is. It's a very big deal. " His words were beginning to slur around the edges. " He does this kind of shit a lot. I've caught him more times than I can count. " He exhaled a long, troubled breath. " I lost an artist at the gallery because he wouldn't leave him alone. "

" He hit on the artists you showcase in your gallery ? " Casey asked, " That's terrible. "

He nodded. " I know. I should have kicked him out a long time ago. I just couldn't do it. "

Rusty sat up a little straighter and hesitated a moment before finally deciding to the ask the question he was dying to ask. " Why didn't you ? How could you live with something like that ? "

I felt Casey squeeze my hand and I squeezed back reassuringly. " You just do. " she announced. " You do what you have to do to get by. You don't understand because you've never been there. "

" I guess not. " Rusty agreed. " I wasn't trying to be insensitive. I just can't imagine being with someone I couldn't trust. "

Tommy glanced at him before taking a long pull from the bottle I had just handed him. " No, it's okay. But Casey's right. You do what you have to do. I can't stand the thought of being alone. I hate being lonely. It's like nothing else in my life works right when I'm not with someone. "

" So you stayed to keep from being alone ? " Russ asked, trying hard to understand.

Tommy nodded and passed the bottle to Casey. " Yeah, I guess I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons than be alone for the right ones. "

" I get not wanting to be alone. I hate being alone. " Casey mumbled before taking a drink.

" Being alone isn't so bad. There is a kind of freedom that goes along with it. " I interjected trying to make Tommy see that being single wasn't as terrible as he thought.

" Right, " Tommy smiled at me. " The last thing I want is advice about being single from the guy with exactly what I want so bad. It's like a priest telling you about sex. "

Rusty quirked an eyebrow at his inebriated cousin. " You want Casey ? " he asked, confused.

Tommy laughed out like that was the most hilarious thing he's ever heard. " No, man. I don't want Casey. She's my cousin and she female. " He inclined his head towards her, " Not that you aren't sublimely beautiful, my dear. You just aren't my cup of tea. " She smiled at him in understanding and he continued, " What I mean is, just step back and take a look at them, sitting there. They aren't even touching more than holding hands but anyone that just happened into this room, whether they knew them or not, would know that they were together. "

Rusty eyed us, then shrugged. " I don't get it. "

Tommy slapped his shoulder. " They just fit. It's so obvious. It's the body language. It's how comfortable they are together. These two, my friend, have found it. " He saluted both of us with the bottle. " Here's hoping you and I are as lucky someday. "

Rusty was still looking at us like we were a pair of rat's in one of his science experiments. Finally he turned to Tommy. " I can see what you're saying, I suppose. But it hasn't always been great for them. "

Tommy agreed with him quickly. " Oh, I can tell. They have been through a lot, but they came out of everything together and that's what matters. I can just see myself bouncing their fat, happy children on my knee in the years to come. "

I shifted, uncomfortable with everyone talking about us like we were the main attraction in a freak show. Not that I didn't like what he was saying. I just hated being talked about like I wasn't in the room and I could tell that Casey was feeling the same way.

But Rusty managed to break the whole conversation up by jumping from the bed and beginning to pace excitedly. " I can't stand all this talk about babies. First Casey in the kitchen, now you. It's enough already. "

All our eyes turned to him and looked at him questioningly.

" What's up there, Spitter ? " I asked lightly, hoping it would settle him from his agitated state. " You feeling alright ? "

" I'm fine " he snapped and I must admit I was a little taken aback. Rusty wasn't the type to anger easily and this episode seemed to have come on rather unexpectedly.

" Well, " Tommy announced, standing from the bed and stretching. " I think I'm going to head home. It's late and I have last minute shopping to do tomorrow. "

" And how is it you plan on doing that ? " Casey demanded to know. " You aren't leaving here behind the wheel of a car. "

He gave her an appreciative smile. " I suppose you're right. I guess I'm stuck until Mom and Dad decide to leave. "

" You can crash in my room. " I offered. Actually I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to clear the room pretty quickly. Rusty was still pacing nervously and running his hands through his hair. I figured I had a much better chance at getting him to tell me what the hell was going on if we were alone.

Tommy thanked me and left. I nudged Casey and inclined my head towards her brother. " Why don't you go down and tell everyone goodnight. "

She nodded quietly and stopped before leaving the room to give Rusty a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.

He stared after her a bit dumbfounded as she left as well.

When it was finally just the two of us, I got up and lead him back over to the bed, sitting him down before taking a place beside him.

" So, what's up with all the pacing and baby hatred suddenly ? " I asked, again trying to calm him with humor.

" I don't hate babies. " he smiled awkwardly. " I just don't want to think about babies right now. "

I put my arm around his shoulder and nudged him. " And why is that ? Are you afraid Santa is going to bring you a little brother or sister and Mommy and Daddy won't have time for you anymore ? Cause I hate to tell you but your parents are a little old for the baby making business. "

I was laughing at my own joke when he suddenly jumped up again and spun on me.

" Jenn thinks she's pregnant. "

The words just hung there as my laughter died immediately.

" What ? " I managed after the silence stretched out for so long it was becoming awkward.

" She called this morning and told me. I have no idea what I'm going to do if she is. "

He slumped down beside me again and put his head in his hands.

I looked at him sitting there, in his completely wreaked state and I was instantly angry.

" Damn it, Russ. You know better than this. " The idea that he might have thrown away his entire future by being careless infuriated me and I was lashing out. I knew I wasn't being fair to him, but I was unable to stop myself.

He didn't bother to look up at me, instead he nodded into his hands and I heard him sniffle.

" We were careful. " He said in a voice muffled by his hands. " I swear, we were. I guess maybe the condom must have broken. "

It was my turn to jump up. " You guess maybe it must've broken ? " I demanded. " You don't know ? When something like that happens it's fairly obvious. "

" Okay, " he conceded. " Once the condom broke. "

I let out a ragged breath. " She isn't on the pill ? "

" Yeah, but you know it doesn't always work. " he raised his eyes to mine and I saw he was crying.

I sat back down beside him, pushed my anger aside and did the only thing I could think of for him. I handed him the bottle of whiskey and sat with him while he drank himself into oblivion.

It wasn't long before Rusty was passed out on his bed, curled around the mostly empty bottle. I took it from him and sat it on the nightstand before covering him up and leaving.

As I walked down the hall to Casey's room, my thoughts were still with him though. I thought the universe liked to fuck with me, but here he was, the poor little guy, fresh out of the gates in the sex department, faced with one of the most terrifying moments in a sexual active male's life.

I remembered Jenn spending the day with us and I wondered why she hadn't bothered to tell him then. I thought he deserved more than a phone call over something this serious. Then another thought occurred to me, I wondered how devious Jenn was. We really knew very little about who she really was. Was she playing him ? Using this as a way of getting him back by her side ?

I quickly abandoned that line of thinking. Jenn was a nice girl, so innocent and naive. No one is that good of an actress. No matter what I thought of what she did to Rusty and Casey, hell to all of us in the Greek system for that matter, I knew she cared about Rusty and she was probably just as terrified as he was. More so, actually. I couldn't begin to imagine what she must be going through.

When I reached the door, I opened it and went inside. Casey was already there, sitting at the vanity, brushing out her honey colored hair. I couldn't help but wondered what we would do if faced with the same situation Rusty and Jenn were. It was a sober thought and I crossed to her and kissed the top of her head.

" Is he okay ? " she asked, looking over her shoulder at me.

I went to the bed and flopped down without bothering to undress. " No. "

She put the brush down and came to rest beside me. " What's wrong ? "

" Well, Jenn called him this morning. " I immediately felt like I was betraying his trust, but I couldn't lie to her about something like this. She deserved to know what was happening with her younger brother. " She thinks she might be pregnant. "

Casey was completely still and silent for a long while. Her lack of response worried me and I looked down at her.

" Oh, my God. " she said finally looking up at me. " What is he going to do ? "

" He has no idea. He's totally lost and freaked out and I can't blame him. " I told her honestly. " They just got back together and that was just a work in progress. He isn't sure what to do. "

" You think that's why she showed up here the other day out of the blue like that ? "

I nodded. I was fairly certain that is exactly why she showed up when she did. I saw the wheels moving in Casey's mind and I didn't like the direction they were turning so I stopped her train of thought with a hand on her shoulder. " Don't even think about it. Jenn is a nice girl. If she is pregnant, it's Rusty and it was a mistake. She doesn't have it in her to manipulate someone like that. You know she doesn't. "

She nodded and sighed. " How could he have let something like this happen ? How could he not have been more careful ? He isn't stupid. He has to know that this could destroyed his entire future. "

" He says they were careful. He did everything right except maybe using the condom he had in his wallet since ten grade health class. "

She chuckled. " You'd think the concept that latex weakens over time wouldn't have been lost on a physic geek. "

" I'm thinking that after so much time with the thing in his wallet, his mind was probably too occupied with biology to think of physics or chemistry. " I commented, staring up at the ceiling.

She leaned up on her elbow and gave me one of her serious looks. " What would you do ? "

My body tensed immediately. I didn't know how to answer. Would I marry her ? Drop out of school and get some meaningless mundane job that I would hate for the rest of my life ? Of course I wanted to be with Casey. I wanted to be with her forever. But not like that. I could be honest with myself and admit that it wouldn't be long before I ended up resenting her and the baby for taking my future from me. I knew her well enough to know that she would get to that point way before I did.

" Maybe we should explore abstinence. " I smiled at her weakly.

She batted my shoulder. " I'm serious. How would you handle something like this ? "

" It would really depend on how you would handle it. " I said after a minute.

" You mean whether I decided to keep the baby or not ? "

" Well, yeah. "

" I couldn't have an abortion. I don't care what everyone else does, but I couldn't do it. " she said firmly. " And I don't think I could give my own baby away. I think adoption is wonderful and I applaud those girls that are strong enough to be able to do it for the good of their children, but I'm not that strong. " She paused for a moment then added. " So I guess I would keep it. "

"Well then, I guess we would find a way to make it work. " I agreed.

" You'd be okay with me keeping the baby ? "

" Of course I would be okay with it. " he answered, not feeling nearly as okay with it as I sounded. But I knew that was what she needed to hear. I felt a little guilty for not being totally honest. " Well, I would accept that it was what you had to do. "

" So you wouldn't be okay but you'd deal with it ? " she asked, laying her head back down on my chest. " I don't think I like that answer. "

" I'm just trying to be honest. Did you want me to lie ? "

She wasn't angry or hostile. She was just being honest as well. I thought about how much we had grown over the years. In the beginning, I could see how this discussion would have sparked an argument for the record books, but now, after everything we had been through both together and on our own, here we were talking about something instead of yelling about it. I was proud of us. Maybe we were growing up after all.

" No, of course not. I just hate the thought of pushing you into doing something you didn't want to do. I wouldn't want you to feel trapped. " she admitted.

" It isn't about feeling trapped. " I explained. " I would gladly be trapped with you for the rest of my life. That isn't what I'm saying. It's that we both have plans and a future to think about. Neither of us would be too willing to throw all that away because of a mistake. "

" You would rather I gave the baby away ? " her voice was quiet.

" I would rather we keep doing everything we're doing to see that we don't ever have to make that choice. And someday when we're both ready, I'd more than happy to have children with you. " I told her.

She sighed. " I guess that's all we can really do. Unless you were serious about that abstinence thing. "

I pulled her to me and kissed her. " I seriously doubt that is a realistic option, especially if you're going to insist on walking around wearing things like that little red number earlier. " Then I looked down at her current attire. " Or this little blue t-shirt. "

" So if I promised to only wear old jeans and baggy shirts, it might work ? " She smiled.

" Nope, I've seen you in old jeans and baggy shirts, that's one of my favorite looks. "

" So what could I wear ? " she laughed.

My expression turned serious for a moment as she looked up at me playfully. " You know, I can't say that I've ever seen you in anything that didn't make me want to take you out of it. "

She kissed me. "Now, that is an answer I like. "