Sparkly – I'm glad you're enjoying the story, I kind feel bad for giving them all false hope in the last chapter. Thanks for the review.

Saphire – I thought adding Ford in would be a nice surprise; I refuse to believe he's dead. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Jammeke – Thanks for the review, finding Ford would definitely be a plus, now if only they could find Elizabeth that would be all their missing expedition members lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Kuroima – I'm glad Ford was a surprise and a good surprise at that, thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Steph – I'm too lazy to put your numbers on too lol, I don't think they'll be any more appearances from Aiden but I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter and I told you you'd like Sam lol, thanks for the review.

- - -

Chapter 16

Another planet and another dead end, Elizabeth hadn't been here, any hope of finding her was quickly dwindling. John sighed as he watched Teyla talking to one of the locals, they'd been ordered to stay here and try to negotiate a trade agreement with the local population. Rodney and Ronon were currently staying out of the way; both of them were stood at the edge of a nearby field bickering about something.

"John," Teyla called and John diverted his attention back to her as she walked toward him.

"Well?" he questioned and Teyla looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable. She looked down at the floor for a moment, seemingly trying to avoid his eyes for a second before she looked back at him.

"They are willing to trade with us but they wish to speak... with the leader of Atlantis," she told him and John felt his stomach twist.

"I'll get Carter," he stated after a moment and Teyla gave him a look of sympathy which he chose to ignore. He turned and headed for the stargate, pausing after a few steps to look back at his team. Teyla had joined Ronon and the two of them were sitting in the field. There seemed to be a funny atmosphere between the two of them. It had been noticeable from the moment they retook Atlantis but it seemed to have increased in the last month.

Rodney was now talking to one of the villagers and looked moderately interested in whatever was being said. It felt wrong; that they were all living their lives, that they were here working on some trade agreement whilst Elizabeth was God knows where. Two months, that's how long she'd been missing now and he hated the realisation that he was actually getting used to it, that Elizabeth not being there was beginning to feel normal.

He left the village, making the short walk back to the stargate by himself: he needed a chance to think. He missed her, it was blatantly obvious to everyone but none of them realised just how much he missed her, it had surprised even him. He missed being able to talk to her, he missed their

conversations on the balcony, missed looking up at the control room before a mission and seeing her standing there, a silent message to be safe in her eyes. He missed so many of the things that he hadn't noticed before but now that they weren't there he felt very aware of them.

He dialled the familiar gate address almost on autopilot and stared at the shimmering event horizon for several moments before he remembered why he was there in the first place. "Atlantis, this is Colonel Sheppard," he radioed and waited the few second it took for Carter to reply "The locals here are open to trade but they want to speak to the leader of Atlantis."

There was silence on the other end of the radio, probably as Sam figured out how to respond to that without upsetting anybody. "I guess they'll have to settle for me for now," was her reply and John had to commend her for it.

He had to commend her for a lot if he was honest. She had taken over running the city and allowed his team to search for Elizabeth all they wanted, only stopping them when they needed the rest. She hadn't had it easy, he knew she was getting pressured on all sides but so far she'd proven herself to be an ally. She hadn't crossed any lines, hadn't ever talked about Atlantis or its people as hers. She'd never mentioned the items that had shown up in the office that had come from Elizabeth's quarters – he still had no idea who'd done that – and she'd never attempted to move them. In all honesty, he was glad she was here, she had been more of a help than a hindrance and if Jack hadn't brought her in then the IOA would probably have sent someone else who in all probability would not have been so understanding.

- - -

Kneeling amongst rows and rows of some vegetable she couldn't remember the name of but knew for a fact she didn't like, Elizabeth felt slightly nauseous, they didn't smell nice either. The wicker basket by her knees was only half full and she wouldn't be able to leave this field until it was full. Beside her Malaine looked equally as sick, none of the Ancients liked these vegetables either, apparently it was an acquired taste.

She pulled another vegetable out of the ground and placed it in the basket with a heavy sigh. This was quite possibly the most tedious task she'd had to do since she'd come to this planet.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Malar walking by with a wheel barrow full of crops and he looked less than thrilled that he'd had to work in the field with them that morning. He caught her gaze and sent her a 'mind your own business look' and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she returned to gathering the foul vegetables.

"I feel that I owe you an apology Dr Weir," Malaine stated beside her, surprising Elizabeth just by talking to her. Elizabeth looked around at her, following her eyes back to Malar "I know we have not been the easiest people to live with."

"Some of you are easier than others," Elizabeth replied.

"It is hard... to return to the galaxy and learn that everyone we ever knew is long since gone, then to lose everyone else. Malar is not a bad person, just very proud," Malaine tried to explain apologetically and Elizabeth nodded her head.

"I'm sure it has been hard," was all she could think to say.

"On you as well, I am sure," Malaine stated and Elizabeth looked at her, slightly surprised. "You have lost everyone that you knew as well. Maybe not in the same way but you are completely cut off from them. I've wondered many times if we made the right decision, bringing you with us."

"Oh really?" Elizabeth questioned, dropping another vegetable into the wicker basket.

"Yes, it may sound horrible but it is the truth. I have often wondered if we should have left you with your allies, the Athosians, not only would you be happier but..." Malaine trailed off, probably deciding that whatever she was going to say was not polite so Elizabeth finished for her.

"But you would not have had to deal with me," Elizabeth finished questioningly.

"Not exactly as I would have put it... but yes," Malaine replied. "It would have been dangerous for you to have gone to them though. The replicators are no doubt aware that your people were allies and that you yourself have friends there."

Elizabeth sighed, letting the conversation drop; she brushed a few stray strands of hair behind her ear with slightly dirty hands as she pulled a final vegetable from the ground and dropped it into the basket. Satisfied that she had filled it sufficiently during her conversation with Malaine she stood up, picking up the basket as she did so.

"I'll see you back at the house later," she told Malaine who hummed her acknowledgement.

- - -

There seemed to be a constant cloud over the city, the atmosphere didn't feel as good, as happy as it usually was. Teyla wondered if it was just her, if the fact that her leader and friend was still missing was tainting her view. The city was unchanged and everywhere she went she saw people smiling, people continuing with their lives, the only testament to their concern for their missing leader was the occasional supporting nod in her direction, the odd 'I hope you find her. Perhaps it really was all in her head; perhaps she was just imagining it.

She missed Elizabeth a great deal, in a lot of ways she had been the one person Teyla could truly relate to. Sure she had Ronon, they had both lived under the shadow of the Wraith their entire lives and in that way she could relate to him. In most ways though there was only Elizabeth, they were both female leaders, both tied to their roles and their responsibility to their people.

She saw the effect that her absence was having on those closest to her. Rodney was quieter, which in itself was a worry, he rarely complained about the amount of exercise he was getting in their search and he spent such a little amount of time in his lab. It was as though his love for science had fallen back and his entire focus was on finding his friend. Carson, usually the happier, more optimistic member of their group seemed to have developed an aura of sadness that followed him everywhere.

John was by far the most affected by Elizabeth's disappearance though, he'd been closer to her than anyone. There had always been something between John and Elizabeth, some invisible bond that kept pulling them closer, if she hadn't thought it before she definitely did now. The smooth talking,

wise cracking, cocky young man was gone, buried beneath the surface. In his place was a much quieter, much more withdrawn man and Teyla hoped that she would soon get both of her friends back, not just Elizabeth but John as well.

Even Ronon was feeling it, though it was a misconception that the tall, quiet, brooding Satedan didn't feel much. He felt everything just as everyone else did, he just hid it better. This he was feeling to the point where the people closest to him could actually see it, that said it all.

She wasn't entirely sure where she stood with Ronon at the moment; their close friendship seemed to have changed into something else. There was something hanging between then, untouched and undefined. It was as though their time on Athos had changed something, or brought to light something that had always been there beneath the surface. Part of her wanted to explore it, to discover what it was and where it would lead them but another part of her told her it was best to continue ignoring it.

She wasn't sure if her other team mates had noticed yet, she was fairly sure John was picking something up, he was an observant man and far more clever than he let on. Rodney seemed to be oblivious for now but that would only last so long. Still, she had no idea what she was supposed to do about this. On the one hand if she confronted this then she could well be heading into dangerous territory, she could end up destroying the friendship she had with Ronon. On the other hand, Elizabeth being missing showed her just how fragile life here was. Anything could happen at any minute and it was entirely possible that if she didn't confront this now, she wouldn't get another chance.

She was forced to put a stop to her musings when the very object of her thoughts walked into the gym. She realised then that thinking about all of this right before she had to spar with the man had probably not been the best idea. "Hey," he greeted oblivious to her thoughts.

"Hey," she replied now feeling somewhat awkward, damn her inappropriately timed musings. He dropped his bag in the corner of the room and after a less than thorough round of stretching during which Teyla had to chide herself for watching him a little too intently, he found his bantos stick and they took up positions.

They circled around each other for a minute but Teyla's patience was not with her today. She moved toward him, bringing her bantos rod with her but the move had been easy to spot and Ronon blocked it. She spun around; attempting to hit him from the other side but that was easily blocked too. She jumped back from him in a graceful move that put a safe amount of distance between them.

"You've not been concentrating in these sessions recently," Ronon stated as he swivelled the bantos rod around in his hand. He was watching her intently, watching every tiny movement her body made for some sign of what she was going to do next.

"I have had a lot on my mind," she answered quickly, trying to push her earlier thoughts out of her mind but without luck. Her focus momentarily shifted away from Ronon and to her own thoughts, he must have sensed it because that was when he made his move. His bantos rod connected with her hand so hard that it knocked her own weapon to the floor.

She attempted a recovery, trying to move herself away from him but it was too late. He followed her move; his arm left arm pressed across her chest and pushed her back into the wall whilst his other hand held the bantos rod to her neck. Struggling got her nowhere, except pinned more firmly against the wall so she dropped her remaining weapon in a sign of surrender. The tiniest hint of a smile appeared on his face as he continued to hold her there, his heavy breathing felt warm against her skin and damn her body for reacting to it.

Her thoughts from earlier filled her mind again along with all the possibilities that came along with them. She was overcome by the very unhelpful urge to grab his face and kiss him and if he didn't move away soon she might actually end up doing it. Thankfully, he did move away and Teyla held back a sigh of relief as she slipped herself away from him and the wall. There was no way she was putting herself through that again, not right now anyway.

"Perhaps we should continue this another time, when my concentration has returned," she suggested. He didn't offer any protest or question her any further, in fact she got the impression he was as eager to leave as she was.

"Yeah," he responded and walked over to the corner to pick up his things "I'll see you later," he told her as he left.

Teyla waited until the doors had closed behind him before she let the sigh of relief loose. She really needed to figure out what she was going to do because she had a sneaking suspicion those kinds of situations were going to keep coming up.

- - -

She was enjoying some much needed time off from the constant stream of chores and tasks that seemed to come as part of living the simple life. For now there was no need to hunt animals, gather crops, fish or any of the other activities that had become normal for her now.

Elizabeth sat beneath the shade of a tree, the sun was high in the sky on an unusually hot day and since there was no such thing as air conditioning here, the shade was the only respite she had from the heat. She pulled her knees up closer to her chest, staring at the house in front of her, would it ever feel like home?

She saw the back door open and relaxed a little when she saw it was only Taros, he walked over to her, sitting beside her wordlessly. He followed her gaze to the house and they sat there for several moments just staring at it. "We all miss Atlantis," he stated and the notion that Atlantis had been as much their home as it had been hers did nothing to help her current mood. "You miss your friends as well."

"I do," she replied "Very much."

"Now that I have come to know you, I find it intriguing that you would choose to remain on Atlantis when everyone else was returning to earth," he stated and Elizabeth turned her head to meet his knowing blue eyes.

"How's that?" she questioned.

"You were... are very attached to the city, this is no secret but you were far more attached to her people, to certain ones in particular I think," he explained and she found herself analysing his words, there may have been some truth to them. "So it is surprising that you would have chosen to stay behind when they were forced to leave."

"I thought I needed Atlantis, I do need Atlantis but it wasn't the same without the people. I think that, maybe... I needed them both," she replied, unsure why she was being so honest with him when until this point she hadn't even been this honest with herself.

"I remember the day they left, the small group that you said goodbye to at the gate as well as the two who went with the Athosians. There was a great feeling of... family between you all," he said and she could only nod her head to that.

"We were very much a family, Teyla I could relate to very easily, she was very wise for age. Ronon was quiet but very, very loyal, I could respect him. Carson was the gentlest man I ever knew and Rodney was a constant pain in the neck but he had so many redeeming qualities that I'm not entirely sure he even realised he had," she told him, not knowing why she was being so open, maybe it all just needed to come out. "John was... John was John," she finished, unsure of how else to describe him or unwilling to try.

"He was dear to you," Taros stated rather bluntly.

"He was a good friend," Elizabeth answered, staring at the ground by her feat and hoping she didn't sound as defensive as she thought she did.

"No," he said quietly and Elizabeth turned to look at him again, his knowing eyes seemed to be looking right through her "He was more than that."

He stood up and went back into the house before Elizabeth's mind could come up with any response, not that it came up with one anyway. She'd been forced to face up to a lot of truths over the last few months, her time here had brought to light a lot of herself she either hadn't known or denied was there. She missed all of her friends but the truth was she missed John the most, a fact that she had tried to ignore.

It didn't matter though, he was on earth with the others and she was here and no amount of wishing it was different was going to change that. She'd just have to accept it, holding on to him... to them, she mentally chastised herself, wasn't going to change that. She couldn't even visit Ronon and Teyla on Athos; it would be too dangerous both for them and for her. No, it was time she let it go, let all of it go.

TBC