January 30, 2138 (Noon)
The night shift leaves a lot to be desired, but this morning made up for it a little. Anyone that's on the night shift gets to sleep in, which I did a little. And I guess while I was asleep Tommy sneaked in and left me a gift. He left a rose right next to me as I was sleeping. Who would have thought that someone that can be ripping apart a biodread for scrap one minute could be so romantic the next? I think his mom would be really proud of him if she was still here. I wish I could jump back in time and change that for him. Actually there are so many things that I wish I could change that I could never count them all. But even with all of the things that I would change if I could, I never want to lose this one moment. If I could bottle it up and save it forever, I would.
Speaking of bottled up I have to get with Sarah and see how she's doing. This blaming herself for everything that happens has to stop. First the bridge and then Cane. What else will happen that she'll blame herself for? The winter weather? The war? That's all right, I don't think I want to find out. I just need to focus on getting her irrational thoughts out of her head.
So, my agenda for the day needs to be made. Go kiss Tommy and thank him for the rose. Get with Kim and talk to her. Go kiss Tommy again. Then get with Sarah and talk to her. Maybe by then Tommy will be looking to kiss me instead. Check on Tad, Alan, and Dad and hope that he's come up with a plan for the mall. So, I'm off to get it done.
January 30, 2138 (Evening)
My agenda went to hell really fast. I went out to meet Tommy as he patrolled the trail. He didn't seem himself and I thought maybe he was just tired at first. So I dispensed with the kiss and appreciation for him and what he had done and moved on with business. I asked him if he was all right or if there was anything wrong.
"I'm fine. I'm just worried about Tad and your sister. And now your Mom," he said to me.
"Mom? What about her," I asked.
"She doesn't seem herself around me. I don't know how to explain it really. I went to see how she was doing and look in on Alan earlier and she seems so emotional. It's been this way for a while now, but I can tell almost every time that I see her that she's been crying. She looks really tired all of the time. And she's not making a lot of sense when she talks to me. It's like she wants to tell me something and doesn't know how to. Or can't bring herself to say whatever it might be," he said.
"With everything that's happened over the last week or so I can see her being kind of emotional. I don't know of any of us that haven't been. What with Cane attacking Sarah, Tad's injuries, Dad's plans for his virus, and her visions that seem to be out of control I can see her being tired and upset," I told Tommy.
"You might be right. Sometimes I just feel like it has to do with me. What are these visions you're talking about? I know that last one she had about your sister turned out to come true just like the one about Mom. Are you talking about that one," he asked me.
"Several days ago she said something to me about another one. She went on saying a lot of things that didn't make sense to me and I tried to hear through what she was saying, but I didn't understand. I finally had to tell her to just come out and tell me what was wrong," I said.
Tommy replied, "And? What was she seeing?
"Me. She saw me," I told him.
"You? Amber, what did she see," he asked me with a worried tone.
"Not much from what she finally told me. All that she said was that she could see me in some very cold and very dark place, and that she felt as though I had chosen to put myself in whatever that place was. It didn't make a lot of sense even after she told me and I figured that she must have been seeing me in the church," I answered.
"But she's never seen anything that's already happened. Everything that she sees always happens after she sees them," he went on as he seemed to be getting more frantic.
"I don't know what else it could be. I wouldn't put myself in a place like that and I don't even know what kind of a place it is," I told him.
"Maybe Karen can tell me more about what she's seeing," he said as he handed me his laser. "Here, I'll be back soon," he went on as he started running back to the zoo.
"Tommy, wait. Tommy," I yelled as he ran off towards the zoo.
After a long time of wondering what he was going to ask of Mom and how he was going to approach it, I gradually started to wonder if he was actually finding anything out from her. I've wondered why she was acting the way she was for a while now but haven't had the time to worry about going to her and asking when she didn't seem to be able to explain it well the last time anyway. That and I don't like seeing her upset. I wish she would take a few minutes and fine something to smile about, but I guess we're all guilty of seeing only the bad in everything and not the good.
After about 40 minutes or so Tommy returned and looked as confused as he had before he ran off. He apologized for running off and I asked him if he found out anything from Mom. Apparently he couldn't get much more out of her of what she had seen of me in her dream. Then he started saying that she wanted him to be careful as though she was worried about him. At first he thought she was just trying to change the subject so that he wouldn't worry about me, but he figured out quickly that there was more to it than what she was saying. Unlike most people that initially hear of her premonitions, Tommy has always believed in Mom and he's always told her that, which makes it harder for her to hide things from him. Maybe it's her appreciation for his belief in what she sees. I'm not sure, but whatever it is he's able to use it to get her to talk to him straight up most of the time. After a while of her hesitation to tell him more, he finally started to figure it out on his own. She'd had another dream, but not about me. It was about him. She had seen him in a windy place trying to keep a hold on something to keep from falling. Much like my own dream and now the roles were reversing on me as I got to worry about him now.
"We have to let this go for now and worry about the plan," he said to me as he tried to focus us again on what we had to do.
I couldn't just let it go though, and I said, "Maybe you should let me go on this one alone. I can take care of what we need."
"Amber, there needs to be at least two of us. We have to make this work because there won't be another opportunity at this. If you're the only one going along with them, what will you do if your dad or Kim wants you to be security while they gather up what they want to take? And how could we explain my not going along off. No, we need to be together on this," he said to me.
"What if I get Sarah to help us," I asked knowing that she would if she knew what we were doing.
"You can't. We can't tell her everything that she would want to know if we involve her in our plan. There's no way to explain to her what we want her to do and yet can't tell her anything about why we want her to do it without revealing things that your father doesn't want her to know. Besides, she has enough issues to worry about right now," Tommy replied.
"But she could really help us. And we might not have any choice anyway," I replied.
Tommy asked, "What do you mean?"
"We're down one person with Tad being hurt. Mom will have to stay here with little Alan most likely, and someone has to keep the zoo secure. That someone is likely to be one of us because of Sarah's emotional breakdown the other day. It might be both of us. Then what? If neither of us goes along our plan is ruined," I said.
"I figured that my dad would be the one to stay. That way he can secure the zoo and be here for Tad at the same time, and Dave would feel somewhat obligated to take us along since we came up with the idea in the first place," he said.
"Dad will do what he thinks has to be done regardless of who came up with the idea to begin with. If he thinks he needs Karl more than one of us, he'll take him instead," I said trying to get him to see what I was saying.
"Whatever we have to do to get what we're after is what we have to do. We have to avoid getting her involved, but if we have to involve her because your father insists on taking her instead of one of us, we will," he said back to me.
January 30, 2138 (Evening)
My head has been racing all day trying to find some solutions to our problems and the ones that might come up. It's overwhelming. I can't let anything happen to Tommy and I'm trying to get him not to go, yet he feels that he has to be there. He doesn't want to let anything happen to me and yet I have to be there. And all the while we have to get a mannequin from the mall with no help from anyone else and without letting Dad and Kim know of it. We needed help or this wasn't going to work. So Tommy and I went to Dad's meeting earlier to get the operation down and I had to find a way to get him to allow Sarah to go along.
During the meeting in the lounge Dad got into the part about which of us were going and which one's weren't right away. He had decided that he would take Kim, Tommy, and me and leave the rest here. This didn't bother Tommy and he stayed silent, but it wasn't what I had planned and I started speaking up.
I said, "Dad, I think we should take Sarah with us for this."
Kim looked at me from across the table as Dad spoke up saying, "Why?"
"Because it would give us another person to act as security while the rest of us gather what we're going there for. That way we can get more," I replied.
That's when Mom spoke up to Dad and said, "Why don't Sarah and I go with you and Tommy and Amber stay here to keep the zoo safe?"
"Karen, Tommy and Amber both know what I'm looking for already. It's not that I couldn't explain it to you and her, but I want to get on this right away. We've wasted enough time and haven't gotten it done. I don't want to waste any more," Dad said to her.
That was when Kim spoke up and said, "If they were my kids I wouldn't want them to go either." Looking at Dad she continued, "I still don't see why you and I don't go on this one alone. The two of us can get the emitting component that you need and get back here on our own."
Dad spoke again saying, "There are other things that I think we need from there also. The notion of being able to get longer ranged hunting laser rifles with scopes and maybe some camouflaged clothing is too much to pass up also. Not only that but I want to get more than the emitter. If I can, I want to copy the virus and I need another machine to do it. Plus the extra eyes and arms helping to look and grab might make it go faster. And if anything goes wrong I'd rather have them carrying the things that we can get while Kim and I take care of the business end of dealing with it."
"Exactly," Kim spoke up again. "But I don't agree with taking Sarah along no matter how many of us go. I think she should stay here with Karl and secure this place. That way Karen can look after Tad and the little boy freely."
Mom spoke up again saying, "You don't understand. We need to protect them. We have to. I've seen things about them."
Karl spoke up then and said, "What have you seen Karen?"
"Both of them in different visions. Amber was trapped in a dark place and Tommy was trying to keep from falling from something in a windy place," she said.
Dad looked at Mom for a few seconds. Then he looked at Kim and asked, "How big is the mall that we're looking for?"
"Two floors, indoors," she replied.
"Then Tommy's coming with us. What about places where someone could get trapped," he asked her.
"Not anything that I could see her getting stuck in. Freezers in the food court, a vault in the back of the small bank outlet that was there, and a detainment area for the security to use on people caught shoplifting. That's it in the mall itself. I don't know of anything else," Kim replied.
Dad looked at Mom and said, "Then I need her. She needs to go with us.
This caused Mom to snap, and she glared at Dad and said, "What's it going to take? Are you going to keep going until one of our kids dies with this crusade of yours? We have a responsibility to our children too, remember? They're not soldiers. They're our kids. Keeping our kids safe is more important to me than saving the world. It's everything, and it should be to you too," she said.
"I want to keep them safe too, Karen. You act like I don't. Do you think hiding out in this zoo is going to afford them a safe life? Huh? The only thing that can keep them safe is the destruction of the dreads. So while you're here getting all sanctimonious about what I'm feeling for the world versus these kids, do you have a better idea to stop the machines," Dad blurted back in anger.
Kim cut in at that point in an attempt to defuse their growing argument saying, "Karen, I understand how you feel. I can't see like you can, but I know it kills you to have any of the kids being risked in any of this. I don't want to risk them either. But if you trust me, I promise I'll protect them for you. I won't let anything happen to them."
Mom turned to Kim now and said, "Like Cane happened to my daughter?"
Dad glared back at Mom and said, "That's not fair, Karen. You of all people should know what Kim is willing to do to protect these kids. She already has protected them and she's willing to do anything to make them safe. With what she's done for us already, you have no right to question her."
I started to say something myself when Kim got up from the table and walked herself into a position between Mom and Dad to break their view of each other, and she said, "I'll take care of them, Karen. You have my word. I swear that I won't let anything happen to them."
Mom stood there for a moment, looking at Kim with no words. Then she spoke up and said to her, "I'm sorry, Kim. I'm sorry." Then Mom turned and left the room.
Karl waited for Mom to leave the room, and then spoke up saying, "You have to know where I stand on this. I won't ever doubt anything that Karen has to say again for the rest of my days. If she thinks that these two are in some kind of danger, I'm not going to question her. I'm not questioning how much you care about our kids Dave, but I'm not about to question your wife's premonitions either."
Dad looked at Karl and said, "Not you too, Karl. Look, if Tad didn't need you here I'd be taking you instead of both of them."
Tommy decided not to stay silent anymore and spoke up saying, "Dad, I love you. But we've got this one. Stop worrying. Amber and I are both looking out for what Karen mentioned with each other. You know that I won't let anything happen to Amber."
"And I won't let anything happen to Tommy either, Karl. You know that I…" I said and stopped myself before I said more than I was comfortable with.
"What about the bridge? The second floor of the mall isn't the only place someone can fall from. Remember," Karl asked with conviction in his voice.
"I'm crossing it first on my own like last time. After a few minutes Kim will take the other two across and follow me. Kim and Amber will be together as they cross with Tommy. They won't let him fall," Dad said.
"Better yet, I'll cross first and you and Amber can follow me. That way there won't be any doubt that the both of you can help Tommy if he feels the need to hang from the side of the bridge for some reason," Kim interrupted.
"Do I look like I'm laughing to you? If so, let me put this another way to you. If my son doesn't return here with you, you'd better not return here either," Karl said as he rose from his chair and glared at Kim and then Dad, then walked out of the lounge.
Kim looked at Dad and said, "David, I'm sorry. Maybe they're right. Maybe I should just go on my own and…"
"No," I said to her before she could finish. "We can do this. We'll be careful and we'll stick together."
Tommy added, "We'll both stay together so that none of what Karen might have seen can come true. Let's just get this out of the way.
"We will. Get some rest. We're going tonight," he said to us to our surprise.