AthosionWarrior – I feel kinda mean for shooting Teyla but it's important to the Ronon and Teyla storyline. Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Kuroima – I'm sorry I almost made you cry... well a little bit anyway lol. Things do get worse before they get better I'm afraid, thanks for the review.
Saphire – I don't know where I find the patience either, I've been tempted to just have them find Elizabeth all the way through lol. Things aren't looking too good for the team are they lol, thanks for the review, hope you enjoy this chapter.
Too late – I'm glad you're enjoying the story, thanks for the review.
Sparkly – I'm glad you think I'm writing Sam well, I used to write her all the time when I wrote SG1 but I haven't written her for a while now and unfortunately I have a little (and only a little since it's not really her fault) resentment towards her for replacing Lizzie. Thanks for the review; I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter.
Lia – finn – Thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked Ronon's last line and the story, Laura will be making her return soon I promise. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Steph – (hides behind chair) It wasn't that bad a cliff hanger... was it? I'm glad John and Rodney's scene worked out well, I was a little nervous opening the characters up, especially John. I want to hug Ronon too, thanks for the review.
Chapter 18
Sitting in the chair beside Teyla's bed Ronon could feel sleep trying to invade his body. The painkillers he'd been given were wearing off and the pain in his leg was returning with a vengeance. He did his best to ignore it and his body's cries for sleep, keeping his hand around Teyla's and focusing on the beeps of the machines that were monitoring her. He could see she was getting better, the colour had returned to her face and that reassured him more than anything else. She had yet to open her eyes, yet to move and until she did he had no plans to leave her side.
Their friends had been in and out several times but Ronon was mostly just glad he'd been able to be alone for the most part. He wasn't good at this, wasn't good at revealing to anyone when he was hurting and right now he was hurting more than he had in a long time. It was something he was going to have to face, she'd been lucky today, if that bullet had hit her even a few millimetres from where it had, he would be grieving now as well as hurting. Today had not only been a close call but a wake up call, he could have lost without ever having had her, without ever having told her.
As if sensing his thoughts she moved, it was so subtle he was afraid he had imagined it at first but when she did it again he was on his feet, forgetting for a moment he was in pain, and by her side. He moved his free hand to her face, brushing her hair behind her ear and waiting patiently for her to come around.
She opened her eyes with a small moan and it took her eyes a moment to focus on him. "Ronon?" She questioned and he felt relief flood through him, both at hearing her voice and seeing her eyes open.
"Hey," he replied, his voice unusually thick with emotions taking both him and Teyla by surprise, she looked at him for a moment, appearing to study him even in her barely awake state.
"What happened?" she asked him.
"You got hit in the neck, had us all worried for a little while there," he explained and she moved her hand to her neck finding the white bandage that was still there.
"How is your leg?" she questioned and he bit back a smile, she was laying there, half unconscious with a bullet wound in her neck and she was asking him if he was okay.
"It's fine," he told her as Carson joined them.
"Good to see you finally awake," Carson stated, standing by the side of her bed doing his usual doctorly fussing. "How are you feeling?"
"I have felt better," she informed him and Carson smiled slightly. "My neck hurts."
"I can give you something for that," the doctor told her and she smiled gratefully.
Darts filled the air, flying backwards and forwards, the light of their transport beams following them. Elizabeth had barely been able to get the warning out before the Wraith had descended on the village. The ground was a chaotic mess, people running in different directions, trying to avoid the transports as they searched for loved ones or simply tried to escape. The unlucky ones disappeared into the light, vanishing, never to be seen again and Elizabeth's stomach turned at the thought of the fate they were being carried to.
She and Taros made their way through the village in search of the other Ancients, they were narrowly missed by several transport beams and Elizabeth had to pull Taros out of the path of one. He gave her a grateful nod but there was no time for them to stop, the darts were not relenting, there was no sign that this culling was nearly over. In front of them they saw a villager, young; probably no older than twenty disappear into a transport beam and Elizabeth sent a silent prayer with him.
If the darts hadn't been bad enough, the Wraith were now in the village as well, probably here for some recreational feeding while their pilots gathered enough food to last them. She grabbed Taros' arm, pulling him in between two nearby buildings and away from the Wraith that had been heading straight for them. She heard several shots from behind them, Wraith stunners firing on the unprepared villagers and maybe just a few of them fighting back. Not that fighting back would do them any good, bows and arrows were no match for the Wraith.
"We must find the others," Taros said quietly, his voice sounding more distressed than when Atlantis had been attacked by replicators.
"This way," Elizabeth replied, heading in the direction of their house, hopefully the other Ancients had not yet gone far. They ran through the fleeing crowd of people toward the door of their house, stopping outside when they found a body only yards from the door. Taros seemed frozen, unable to do anything but stare fearfully at the body. Knowing that their time here was limited, Elizabeth stepped forward turning the man's body onto his back revealing the lifeless eyes of Rinar, the young Ancient had been stabbed in the stomach, his death had probably not been a fast one.
She closed her eyes, taking only a moment to grieve before standing up and turning to a rather distraught looking Taros. "We have to keep moving," she stated and Taros nodded his head, following her away from the house.
It didn't take them long to find Malar and Malaine, the two of them had somehow ended up in the thick of it. Elizabeth saw Malar take a hit, struggling with the Wraith that had chosen him for food and she could see he was losing the battle. She ran toward them, picking up the stunner from the body of a nearby Wraith and firing. She hit the Wraith several times, just as she registered the scream beside her and she turned with her weapon, firing on the Wraith that had attacked Malaine.
She was too late though, she knew even before Taros turned the body over what she was going to see. Her features had been distorted, not as bad as she knew it could be but the feeding had been enough to kill her.
Elizabeth closed her eyes, clutching the weapon in her hands and trying to hold back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, now was not the time to fall apart. She had no idea what to do now, they just had to survive, stay alive until the Wraith left but their dwindling numbers made that seem less likely. She wished John was here, whether he would know what to do or not, he'd find a way to keep them all alive. His ability to survive had never ceased to amaze her; he'd been through hell more times than she really cared to think about but somehow he always came back, alive and relatively intact.
The sound of a dart approaching snapped her out of her reverie; she opened her eyes, immediately looking up, trying to find where it was coming from. She spotted it, barely visible against the night sky, heading straight for them. "We need to go," she heard Taros say when he too spotted the approaching threat. The three of them moved away, ducking between some nearby buildings for cover.
John walked out of the infirmary with Rodney, leaving Ronon alone with Teyla; something had changed between his two friends. He had a feeling he knew what it was, he had seen the same look on Ronon's face he had seen in the mirror a hundred times over the last few months. It was more than just worry for a friend; it was worry for someone who was so close to your heart that losing them was like losing a limb, a piece of yourself. The mere thought of losing them could make it difficult to breath, difficult to do anything but focus on them. It was the fear of losing a chance; of losing something that you wanted more than anything else but had never allowed yourself to have.
He'd felt that, he'd felt it so deeply that sometimes it actually physically hurt. He never should have left Elizabeth here but more than that, he never should have let her go without telling her the truth.
He could admit it to himself now, a little too late but at least he could be honest with himself if no one else.
He felt for her, he felt for her more than he had felt for anyone or anything else in his life. The one thing he wouldn't do was name that feeling; it would break him, if he admitted that now it could end him. He had to find her but with every failed mission, every day that went by with no sign of her; he could feel his hope failing him and hope was all he had now, if he lost that there would be nothing holding him together.
Returning to his quarters John sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh. The dark cloud that had been looming over the city in the weeks after Elizabeth went missing was disappearing now. People were getting used to her not being here, accepting the idea that maybe she wasn't coming back. He knew that many of them would never completely give up, that some part of them would always hope that she'd return but they were accepting that maybe she wouldn't. John wasn't ready to face that yet, wasn't ready to give up on the search for her even as he relented to the orders from earth.
It didn't matter, no matter what they said, no matter how many missions they sent him on, part of him would always be looking for her.
The Wraith were gone and the villagers were left to mourn the dead, bodies were already being moved out of the streets. Malaine and Rinar were among them, just two more bodies waiting to be buried. The injured were being cared for as people searched for the missing members of their families, breaking down when they realised they had lost someone to the Wraith.
Walking back into their house felt surreal, there were only three of them left now and it felt... quiet, empty. "We should," Taros began, his voice breaking and he took a moment to fight back emotions they were all feeling. "We should all try to get some sleep, I fear tomorrow is going to be a difficult day."
Elizabeth walked to her room without a word; closing the door behind her she pressed her back against it. She let her body slide down to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs and burying her face in her knees. She finally allowed herself to grieve, for Malaine and Rinar, for Bren, for the Helia and the Ancients who had been killed on Atlantis, for everything her life had been, everything she had lost.
She wished again that John was here though this time she wasn't sure why. She pushed the thought out of her head; it wasn't going to help her to deal with any of this. She needed to move on, to let go of her old life but she just couldn't seem to do it and she had a feeling John was part of that reason. Wishing he was here wasn't going to help her in the slightest, not in any way.
Somehow she managed to push herself off the floor and over to her bed, every muscle in her body ached, she was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. She closed her eyes, immediately assaulted by images of death and memories of the past. Sleep came but it didn't come easily and it wasn't restful.
When she left the house it was to a different village, a broken one, one that was mourning. She knew straight away that their losses had been big, so many people were missing, the village felt almost like a ghost town in places.
Their first priority was to bury the dead and hold a memorial for those whose bodies weren't here to be buried. She realised then, with a startling clarity, that this was the life she'd ended up with. It was exactly the same as every other inhabitant of the Pegasus galaxy, a simple life that would be lived in constant fear of the Wraith. She felt her mind rebel against the thought almost immediately, refusing to accept it.
They'd already sat through several burials, they had to do them in groups and they were now staring at the coffins that contained the bodies of Malaine and Rinar. It felt too familiar; it hadn't been that long since they'd lost Bren on the hunting party and now this, it was all too much to process.
"So much death," Taros whispered beside her and she turned to look at the elderly Ancient who in that moment looked older than she had ever seen him, the aura of youth he seemed to carry around with him despite his years was gone. She looked back at the coffins; wishing things could be different which she found herself doing too often lately.
"Would anyone like to say anything?" the young villager asked, the poor man had been left with the task of leading the funerals since the man who usually did it had been one of last night's casualties. She watched as Taros stepped forward, she knew he would have felt compelled to say something and she wished she'd known the two Ancients well enough to be able to say something herself. Glancing at Malar she could see him staring at the coffins, an unusual amount of emotion clouding his eyes.
"It has not been long enough since last I did this," Taros stated sadly as Elizabeth looked back at him. "When Bren died it hit the group hard, to lose two more members of our family is hard to bear, perhaps too hard. Rinar was a quiet soul, reserved and observant, he thought before he spoke, saying only what he meant. Malaine was a little more outspoken and perhaps even the strongest of our group; she was a force to be reckoned with. They were both very different but they will be missed equally, we send you on."
Taros moved back to his place between Elizabeth and Malar, the three of them watched as the coffins were lowered into the freshly dug graves. They were some distance outside the village, no where near Bren, there were just too many dead for them all to have been kept close by. It seemed that what the Wraith did not take with them, they destroyed, leaving only a broken community in their wake.
No one said anything as they walked back to the village, there was nothing to say. Elizabeth left the two Ancients as soon as they were back in the village; they probably needed time to grieve alone. Instead she decided to help clean up the village. She walked over to the crop field, knowing that many of them had caught fire during the culling and did her best to help clean up the remains of their crops.
"Elizabeth," she heard someone call and when she looked up she saw one of the village leaders approaching. Amelia was one of the few remaining leaders left, at that moment she reminded her of Taros, old and grey but so tired and haunted that any trace of youth was gone now.
"What can I do for you Amelia?" she asked.
"We'd like you to go off world for us. We have lost too much to the Wraith, our food supplies are low and these fields will be useless to us for some time," she explained "We do not use the stargate very often, our people do not know how to reach a trade agreement but you do."
Elizabeth nodded her head with a small smile "Anything I can do to help."
"Thank you," Amelia said quietly "You do not need to go yet, for now we must focus on repairing the damage to our village. We have enough food to last, in a few days though."
"That's fine, I'll go then," Elizabeth told her, placing a reassuring hand on Amelia's shoulder and the woman smiled sadly before walking away.
If she thought Malar didn't like her before she could be absolutely sure of it now as he paced back and forth ranting. "You silly, arrogant child," he scolded and while normally she would have stopped him right there she decided that after the last 48 hours he probably needed a good rant so she left him to it. "We came here to escape, to hide. We only chose this place because they do not use the stargate, because we would not come into contact with other cultures that could accidentally let it slip that we are here."
"Malar," Taros tried to interrupt, his heart wasn't in it though, he just sounded tired.
"We came here to hide from the Replicators and you just offered to go on a little trip through the stargate. Do you have any idea what could happen if someone finds out who you are, if word somehow got back to the replicators. They would descend upon this planet, prepared to wipe out the last surviving Ancients. You're putting us at risk," he continued to shout and Elizabeth decided that was enough.
"These people need help," she told him but he didn't seem to care.
"You are not allowed to go," he told her and she raised an eyebrow at him.
"Excuse me, not allowed?" she questioned.
"That's right, you will tell then you cannot go," he ordered her.
"Let me get one thing straight Malar," she began her own anger too close to the surface. "You do not control me; you have no say in what I can and cannot do. I've put up with your attitude towards me but if you think for one moment that the quiet, reserved Doctor Weir is the only side I have then you better think again and think quickly. Now these people need help, if I can do something then I'm damn well going to do it."
She stared at Malar for several seconds, it felt almost like a battle of wills and Malar finally relented, turning away from her.
"I will join you," Taros stated quietly for which he received a stern glare from Malar. "We will be careful Malar. We won't go to any of Atlantis's allies or anywhere the Replicators may be looking for us. Elizabeth is right though, these people took us in without question, if we can help them now we must."
Without another word Malar stormed out of the room, Elizabeth looked at Taros in time to see the old man go weak. His legs seemed unable to support him for a moment and he reached for the nearby table to steady himself. Elizabeth moved quickly to his side, placing one arm around his shoulders.
"Are you alright?" she questioned worriedly and Taros took a moment before nodding slowly.
"I am fine, I fear recent events have been a little to much for my aging body and for my mind. I think I will get some sleep," he told her, taking hold of her hand for a moment and giving her a reassuring smile. She could only watch him leave the room, feeling more worried than reassured.
With some reluctance Carson finally released Teyla from the infirmary; just a couple of days there had driven her slightly nuts. Ronon was with her, watching her for any sign that she was about to collapse back into her coma, she'd had to reassure him she was fine a ridiculously large number of times over the past 48 hours.
He followed her into her quarters, placing the few things that she had acquired whilst in the infirmary on her bed. She knew he wanted to say something but for some reason he was holding it back. She'd known from the moment she woke up that something was on his mind.
"Ronon, whatever it is just say it," she instructed, she was too tired to try and continue figuring it out.
"Am I that obvious?" he questioned and she smiled slightly.
"Only to me," she told him and he suddenly looked nervous, that in itself had her worried, the man very rarely looked nervous. "What is it?"
"It's... erm... when you were hurt, it made me realise something," he began and Teyla suddenly had a pretty good idea what he was trying to say, she felt her own nerves tense up in response as she silently waited for him to finish. "You could have died," he breathed and she stepped closer to him, taking his hand in hers to reassure him she was there, alive and safe.
"But I didn't," she told him and he looked at her.
"I'm not good at this," he admitted quietly "Words are not my thing."
"They were more Elizabeth's department, I believe," she stated.
"I'm better at action, just doing things," he began to ramble but Teyla cut him off, placing her fingers on his lips and forestalling any more.
"Than don't say it, do it," she told him and it appeared that was all the sign he needed that what he was going to say would not be met by rejection or humiliation, that it would in fact be welcomed. He leaned forward, touching her lips with his own. The touch was gentle and far too quick for Teyla's liking but it held so much promise. She met his eyes and found the same promise there; she wrapped her arms around him, revelling in the feel of his arms responding. This was where she wanted to be.
TBC