I signed in at the front desk and walked down a long white hallway to his bunk room.
"Ashlee…" I heard someone call from behind me.
"Hey…" I turned around and saw Drake towel drying his hands.
"I'm so glad you made it." He said taking us in a long embrace. "You guys look great. Just give me a minute let me finish up in here." Drake walked back out after a few minutes. I sat on his bed and looked around the room it looked like a dorm.
"How are you?" I asked watching him cuddle and coo at the baby.
"I'm okay I mean they said withdraw wont kick in for another day or so. But this time I want to change, for good. I'm really sorry for everything I did or didn't do for you guys."
I didn't say anything I just shook my head. He went back to playing with the baby.
"Is Josh or anyone else coming?" He asked unsure of himself.
"If they don't it's not your fault its mine."
"You didn't tell them?"
"No, I did there just a little mad at me for taking you here."
"Well that's up to them I just really wanted to see you guys, I miss yous." He stood up and walked across the room to sit next to me on the bed. He kissed me gently on the cheek putting his arm around me. He fucking loves me I know that so why am I looking for it some where else? What am I looking for with Jared? Why would he love someone with so much baggage like me? Drake looked at me, I couldn't look back I just put my head down staring at my hands. Drake picked up my hand and inter locked his fingers with mine. He brought it up to his mouth and kissed them softly. I missed his lips his kisses. But how long will he be good for? How long will he love me like this? A few weeks, days sometimes hours. "I know this is hard for you so I really appreciate you guys coming. Why don't we go outside it's so nice out and its tiny in here?"
Drake stood up putting his arm around my shoulders leading the way. We went passed the receptionist desk where we had to check in and out all the time like a prison.
"Hi Drake." The young girl at the desk said batting her eyes, I just rolled mine.
"Hi." He said shortly "This is my fiancé and my son." He said then just kept us moving. "I didn't do anything with her."
"Drake I don't think you do it with every girl you not Gene Simmons."
"Who's that?"
"The guy for kiss with the tongue he supposablely slept with over four thousand girls. But he doesn't drink or do drugs he's straight edge when it comes to that."
"Oh." He said in shame. "Would you mind coming to a session with me today? I have to go and then sometime this week I need to find a sponsor. Do you know what all of this means?"
"Yes Drake I have an uncle who is over 2 years sober and still goes to meetings he'll be going to meetings until the day he dies."
"I know Ashlee I'm going to try my best!" He said starting to get mad at my attitude.
I didn't answer him I just sat there staring at my thumbs. The baby started to cry I took him off of Drake. "I'm going to go feed him."
"I can do it!" Drake said jumping out of his seat.
"Okay just take him inside and out of the sun for a little bit."
"I'm sorry Ash I didn't mean to snap. Why don't you go get us some lunch?"
I shook my head in agreement. I walked up to where they had food on sale. I bought Drake a little bit of everything. When I went to return to my seat I saw Josh looking around.
"Josh!" I yelled out waving my hand.
"Hey Ash, I'm so sorry about yesterday I just have been in a mood and…"
"Josh don't worry about it. It's just been crazy."
"Ash listen I just wanted to tell you last night when I came to pick up the car I saw you and Jared on the couch."
"You looked in Oh my god." I said in horror my face turned red my eyes began to water. I was like a child caught with my hand in the cookie jar.
"No you left the blinds open the whole neighborhood saw." He said putting his hand on my back. "Look I'm not going to say anything but I don't think its right to lie to him right now he's banking on when he leaves he's going to have you and the baby back."
"I know and truthfully I don't know what I'm going to do I don't think I love Jared like I love Drake. "
"Okay well I leave all that up to you." Josh said sitting down next to me.
"How are you doing?" I asked picking up his hand in mine.
"I was hurt and mad but I just got over it obviously she wasn't the one for me right?"
"He's going to be happy you came." I said taking his hand in mine.
"Josh!" Drake said running over to him. "Bro I thought you weren't going to come."
"Of course I'm going to come you're still my brother."
"Is Megan coming?" Drake asked handing the baby off to Josh.
"No she's been just been a little out there lately so don't take it personally."
We sat in silence for a few minutes mixing food around our plates.
"So did you move back into the house?" He asked holding my hand and looking into the coach were the baby was napping.
"No, I think I'm just going to stay at Jared's house a little longer. I think its wrong to keep moving the bay from one place to the other."
"Yeah you're probably right." Drake said moving the food around his plate.
"Drake Parker please report to Dr. Fawn's office." The loud speaker announced throughout the facility.
"This is the session I was talking about. Josh do you want to come in with us?"
"No why don't you guys go and I'll take the baby home with me. Mom and Dad are coming down today and I know they'll love to see him."
"That sounds like a great idea." I told josh giving him the diaper bag and kissing him and the baby on the cheek. Drake picked the baby up kissing and hugging him like he would never see him again. We waited till the baby and Josh were out of sight before he took my hand and led me through the vacant hallways.
"Dr. Fawn's this is my fiancé Ashlee. I want her to sit in with us today." Drake announced to an older man in a white coat.
"Hello, ashlee, do you want to sit in today you look a little nervous."
"Ummm…. I just want to do what ever will help Drake."