Back in school they never taught us what we needed to know, like how to deal with despair, or someone breaking your heart. For the past two years I've held it all together, but it's beginning to pull me apart.

He only had a week and a half with us. I wanted to be selfish and keep him all to myself. He loved us, but his passion for music was immense. I would never try to take that away from him. Being a rock star was his dream, and he loved every part of it- the fans, the fame, even the craziness. I snuggled my head on his chest unable to go to sleep, knowing he would be leaving us in a few short hours.

"Ash, are you still awake?" He asked, petting my head in a sloppy manner.

"Yeah… A little." Drake rolled over on his side to face me.

"Are you scared?"

"A little." I answered, flashing him a small smile. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep him out of my bed for to long.

"I wish you would just let me do the worrying for the both of us." He kissed my lips bit by bit, letting them linger.

"I'm going to miss you," I said, allowing a tear escape, unable to be as strong as I wanted to be for him. He kissed me with more fervor than before.

The morning finally arrived, waking me up in a lonely bed, nude. My eyes drifted to the clock, noticing Drake only had two hours left. I looked around the room filled with bags and suitcases, but no Drake. In an instant I grabbed my robe, not caring about getting dressed and went down the stairs to the living room. My face turned red, and my body turned around quickly when I noticed the whole Parker-Nichols clan sitting in my living room.

"Good morning Ashlee!" Audrey called out.

"Good morning. Just give me a minute. I'll be right down!" I tried to yell back, but it sounded muffled and coarse.

I got dressed as fast as I could mange, throwing on a dress and a pair of flip flops. Swallowing my pride, I walked back down the stairs.

"Hello everyone." I said as I walked back down, wishing my cheeks didn't look like tomatoes anymore. "Can I get anyone some coffee?"

"No, it's alright. We stopped at Starbucks before we came. There's a cup on the counter for you." Audrey said raising her cup.

"Listen we wanted to talk to you about something," Drake said, pulling my hand to sit me down next to him on the couch.

"What?" I asked irritated; these meetings were never good.

"I was just thinking maybe it would be good if you moved in with my parents while I was gone…" He stopped for a moment when he saw the confused look on my face. "I mean they have plenty of room and you're going to need someone to help you with the baby."

"I'm sorry. No offense, but I'm starting to feel like a nomad. I have moved like 10 times in the last couple of years! And I really like this house and the neighborhood. And frankly I don't like the idea of all of you putting me on the spot…"

"Ashlee I didn't mean to-"

"I'm not done, Drake… I have been putting my schooling on hold! I need to finish and I have a few months left. I just want to get my degree. That's all!"

"Well then will you move in with us after your done school?" asked Walter, quietly.

"Drake, you have 2 hours before you have to be on the plane. Do you really want to leave with this conversation hanging over us?"

"Ash, look… I just want what is the best for you and the baby."

"Drake, the baby and I are fine! We have been on our own for a while now. I'm doing a great job at raising Colton and I'm going to continue, but I'm going to do it on my terms."

"Ashlee, that's not what were saying. And you can do it on your terms at our house." Audrey said, shifting the baby to her other shoulder.

"Look, Audrey and Walter, I love you guys like my own parents. The truth is I wouldn't move back in with them either," I explained, half laughing.

"You're right, Ashlee. I don't think this is the right time to talk about this," Drake agreed, putting his arm around my shoulder, then getting up.

"Wait just one minute, Drake! You're not just sneaking out of this. Haven't I shown all of you that I can handle my life with or without Drake? I handled the pregnancy without him and the last month."

"Ashlee, you can't say you've done it alone! I mean, come on, who's paying for this house?" Megan said, spreading her arms in the air.

"Before you ask me that, who's paying for the house you live in?" I spat right back at her. "Did you even get a job yet? Probably not! Look, I'm going to school! I was working until DRAKE made me quite! I had my own apartment until DRAKE wanted me to move out. I am taking damn good care of my son. There's no way you're all ganging up on me on this!"

"Ashlee, I don't think that's what there saying!" Josh exclaimed, taking my hand in his.

"Josh, of all people you know I can do this without anyone's help," I said, almost whispering from feeling his gentleness and compassion streaming out of his body.

"I know you can, but why wouldn't you want help?" Josh released my hand and smiled at me; he knew he had me. I was a proud, but I wasn't stupid.

"Look, lets just see how things go. And if you guys are afraid of me using Drake, well, just let me tell you… I love him I really do. I mean, we have no clue how things are going to work out between the two of us, but were preparing for the worst and hoping for the best." Drake put his arm around me, kissing my forehead. The baby started crying. I took him out of Audrey's arms and carried him up stairs without saying a word. I heard footsteps come up after a minute.

"Baby, I am so sorry I didn't think it was going to go that way."

"Well, what way did you think it was going to go?" I said, touching his face and seeing his hurt. I knew he didn't mean for it to come out that way. He knew who I was and he knew I was strong. There was something beneath all of it that had been eating at him for weeks now. "You pawning me off to your parents so you don't have to worry. I'm not going to cheat on you and I know you constantly have flashes on me and Jared together…"

He cringed as the name as it fell out of my mouth. "I know because I have the same flashes but times a 100. Jared had been begging for it for almost a year. I just wanted to forget about you for more then a minute I wanted to feel happy for a second. But I didn't, I felt dirty and skanky. I felt like the worst person on the face of the earth! And when it was all done I sat in the shower trying to scrub the smell of him off of me. I scrubbed until my skin was practically raw. Then I went back into the room and threw on one of your tee-shirts and fell asleep with the thought of you being so close to me in at least one way."

I saw his eyes water up. I wanted to take the pain away from him, but I didn't know how because I didn't know how to take the pain away from myself. Being cheated on is like having a scare on your heart and the scar tissue just refused to leave your heart beat the full beat it use to. We sat on the stairs for a little while, just holding each other. Not wanting to give up what we had just yet.

I waited with his whole family as we watched him go through the swarm of paparazzi and slowly disappear into the airport terminal. As I looked at Colton sitting in the car seat smiling and cooing, I thought about how great it would be to be so young and not know what's actually going on.