I went to school when all I wanted to do was make a cocoon out of my bed and never leave. Days passed on that turned to weeks and weeks turned into months. I never went out to visit him mostly because he was in other countries and I didn't want to be a burden; he use to beg but then it just stopped. He came around three times and we acted as if everything was great. He had bought us a new house- a bigger one on the hills, but I refused to move. I had made a home out of the one we've been living in.

Drake missed everything. Colton crawling, walking, his first words, his first birthday and my graduation- things he will never get back again. I had no clue what one year could hold. At this point Drake and I weren't anything; we were just going with the motions. I have no clue if he had cheated on me, but I had stayed faithful. Never once had I strayed from him. It wasn't as if I didn't love him anymore, rather it was just my heart that was dull from being alone for so long. Drake showed compassion towards me some of the time. It just wasn't constant in my new life, alone.

But it wasn't fair to say I was completely alone. Josh had given up the old house and moved in a little studio apartment. He met up with Drake often and brought us home gifts from other countries. And when Josh was home he usually stayed with us in the guest room. I liked having him around. Everyone thinks that he and Drake are so different, but they're both goofy and quirky in there own ways.

I had met friends in the neighborhood- all female to boot! When I meet the women in the neighborhood I never tell them the identity of my fiancé. I made sure they liked me for me before I brought them to my house, where they would see pictures of me and Drake together, pictures of him and his son hanging on my wall.

"So are you guys excited to go meet up with Drake, I mean daddy?" Josh asked excitedly as if I was the same age as Colton .

"I don't know!" I said a bit ashamed.

"Ashlee, why? What's wrong?" Josh said, putting his arm around my shoulders giving me a good shake. I smiled at his attempt.

"I just don't know. I guess I'm kind of scared since I haven't seen him in a few months. You think he has a new girlfriend?"

"Are you kidding? He still loves you, Ashlee. I think it was just hard for him to show it so far away. I bet he's wondering the same thing." Josh took Colton's hand and guided him towards the front door.

"Are you coming?"

I took a deep breath in; I had such a surge of emotion going through me. I followed the two of them out to the car, where they were waiting patiently for me.

When we arrived at the airport we waited patiently outside the terminal for him, and then we saw it flashes of light and a hoard of reporters. Then from the middle of it all emerged a very different looking Drake. He looked as if he had grown into a man in a year he had a scruffy face and his hair was cut business short he was wearing thick plastic frame glasses.

I forced a smile as he waved both of his hands towards us. He ran up to me throwing his arms around me kissing me feverishly. I was taken aback. I was thinking he would have been as nervous as me. He loosened his grip on me and put both hands on my face kissing my lips. There were tears in his eyes, which made me weld up inside.

"This can't be Colton ! Oh my gosh! Little man, you got so big!" Drake tried to reach down for him, but Colton clung to Josh's leg.

"Drake!" I exclaimed taking his hands and moving him toward the exit. "We need to get out of here he's not use to all of this, okay?"

"Okay, no problem," he answered with a smile and a kiss. He rushed us towards the exit holding me close.

"Bye, Drake… I guess I'll see you later." A young blonde said as she whisked passed us. I held my breath trying to not let myself explode. I pushed it down my throat, hoping it would miss my heart.

"Bye Jenny," he said with his head hung in shame. "She's just one of my back-up singers," he whispered into my ear.

"Drake, you can do what ever you want," I said as I moved into the car. Josh put the baby in the car seat.

"Ashlee, please don't start," Drake said sternly.

"I'm not starting! I'm just saying we have no clue where we're at right now, and we need to get home. So what ever happned... happened and theres nothing we can do about that."

"I didn't sleep with her! I haven't slept with anyone. Are you trying to tell me you have?"

"First off, Drake, lower your voice. Your son hasn't seen you in 5 months, so don't start yelling and accusing his mother. I haven't slept with anyone; I've been completely faithful. I wrote you everyday and sent you pictures constantly."

"I'm sorry, lets not start our time off like this."

"I agree." He reached over from the back seat to give me a kiss on my cheek.



"So little man what's going on?" Drake asked the fussy baby sitting next to him. "He doesn't remember me," he stated with sorrow in his voice.

"Well, he's only a baby. They don't really remember much. He hasn't seen you in a few months, but give him and hour and he'll be fine," I said, trying to reassure him. We finally returned to the house and Drake looked confused.

"Why are we at this house?"

"This is where I live."

"How about the house I just bought you?"

"Drake, I told you I like this one!"

"What are we doing with the other one?"

"I've been renting it out. We're making good money on it," I explained, putting my hand on his back and rubbing it slightly. He was still the man I loved and it only took me 5 minutes with him to realize it.

"Josh, watch the baby so I can help Drake unpack," I said not even waiting for an answer. Josh opened his mouth but it was already too late we were running up the stairs.



We couldn't keep our hands off each other; we needed each other, we need to feel each other entirely. We kissed as if it was the first time. His hands exploring my bare body literally made my skin twitch in delight. I needed all of him and I gave him all of me.

We laid in bed exhausted. I laid my head on his chest not wanting to have to deal with anything real just yet just his familiar heart beat, but I knew it was coming.

"What's wrong?" he asked, moving me so I could be face to face.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not happy. I mean, you didn't look happy to see me."

"I wasn't mad I was just scared. I still am."

"You never have to be scared of me."

"No, not of you. I was scared that maybe everything had changed between us- that there wouldn't be that spark. That you would come home with a new girlfriend and a new family. I really didn't know; I let my imagination run amuck for a few days."

"Ashlee! I stayed celibate for the entire tour. Trust me, it was hard and I fell off the band wagon a few times, but I just went to another meeting, or called my sponsor, and just remembered what I had waiting here for me."

"So does that mean were okay? I mean, are we still together?"

"God, I hope so. That's the only thing that kept me from going insane- hearing from you guys."

"Well then, I want to get married. I want to make it official." I half muttered.

"Are you kidding!" He screeched excitedly.

I shook my head in agreement. "I'm ready and I love you, what more is there? You'll be home for awhile, right?"

"I am taking the next year off. Being away, made me miss everything. Look at my son! He doesn't even know me! I missed him learning to crawl. You would send me the pictures of him eating solid foods or walking, and it was always you and Josh. It should have been me! And a part of me hates myself for being away, but I just kept saying if I never worked another day in my life, you guys would be taken care of. Let's get a wedding planner and get things rolling."

"Drake, why don't you relax for a couple of weeks first? I'm done with school and we have nothing planned, so just relax and chill out," I offered, kissing his cheeks softly, letting each kiss linger until it felt right.

"Let's go see your son."

We got dressed and walked down to the stairs to find Josh and Colton sleeping on the couch together. They looked so cute and peaceful hugging one another.

"What the hell?" Drake whispered.

"They were both really excited. Josh is going to be a great dad. Come on, I'll make you something."



We walked into the kitchen to let them sleep a little longer. Drake and I both sat at the breakfast table.

"So what made you change your look?" I asked running through his once beautiful shaggy hair.

"What you don't like it?"

I shrugged my shoulders and gave him uneasy smile. "I will always think you're the most handsome man in the world," I said leaning over for a kiss.

"I don't know. I'll probably grow my hair out again, but I like the mustache!" he said touching it. I wrinkled up my nose, thinking of how weird it felt kissing. It like I was kiss a whole other man.

"Okay, I'll shave it." I gave him another kiss on his cheek.

We sat and talked for a while, catching up about the tour and life. We acted as if there were no problems, as if we had never been separated.