February 5, 2138 (Afternoon)
I spent the night with Rachel in a cage. I never thought about how I would ever tell my children about that one, until I was in it with her for about an hour. I have the feeling that thought didn't cross her mind at the time either. After an hour we couldn't seem to keep quiet anymore, so we started talking. And I told her the first thing that came to mind to get things started.
"How will I ever tell my children that I spent a night in a cage with you? If I ever have any, that is," I said to Rachel.
"I thought that Alan was yours. He is, isn't he," Rachel asked.
"Sort of. His parents are gone and we had to take him to keep him safe," I said.
"What happened to his parents," Rachel asked.
"They're dead," I replied.
"I'm sorry, Amber," Rachel said to me.
"It's not your fault. Besides, I didn't know them. We just found them, that's all," I replied.
"Was it the machines," Rachel asked.
"Yes. Apparently his parents resisted and they were killed. They must have missed little Alan during the whole thing. Mom and I found him in a burning house. We could hear him crying and we went in and found them all. His parents were already gone by the time we had arrived. So we took him and ran," I replied.
Rachel looked away for a minute with nothing to say. I could see the look in her face. Every time she experienced or heard of another death at the hands of the machines she would become buried in shame, as though she had killed them all herself. I don't know what it was. The look in her face, the children we were talking about, little Alan, his parents, Mom, it could have been any or all of them. But I couldn't hold it in any longer and started crying.
"Amber? What's wrong," Rachel asked as she moved closer to me.
"What isn't? Everyone's dying. I hurt you because the machines hurt me. And they…," I replied and could bring myself to say the rest.
"They what? Who are they, Amber," Rachel asked me.
"The biodreads. One of them shot me and…,"
"I know. I heard about your arm. I'll look at it if you want me to," Rachel replied.
"No. It happened again before that, and Karl thinks that it might have caused more damage than he could help me heal from," I said.
"Where did they hit you? Show me," Rachel said.
I raised my shirt up enough for her to see where I was talking about and showed her. Then I watched her as she stared at the area for a few seconds, and her left eye started getting brighter. When she did this before if was in a room that was lighted. Now, in the darkness of her cage, it started illuminating the room as her yellow, starburst looking pupil started blending into the white in her eye. It was like before and I could only tell that she was looking around in different areas because of being able to see her right eye moving around. She kept looking around for a minute that seemed like an eternity, and then her eye started to darken back to its normal yellow color. Rachel looked up at me and started speaking again.
"I can't see any damage left over. I looked everywhere that I could think of, but you're fine. They didn't hurt you so badly that you won't be able to conceive if you ever want to," Rachel said.
"Really? Are you sure, because sometimes I feel this pain…," I asked.
"Sometimes the human brain generates pain that we remember from the past, but only because we're remembering it. Not because we're feeling some kind of damage that still exists now. It's another one of those human flaws that they told me about that you probably don't want to hear me talk about. Either way, I can't see any residual damage or anything wrong with you that would stop you from living your life the way that you see fit to," Rachel said as she grinned a little.
"Thanks, Rachel. I've had to think and worry about this for so long because Karl couldn't scan me that I didn't know how long I was going to be able to go on without knowing. But nobody could help me or tell me anything," I replied.
"Well now you know. Stop worrying about it. You're fine, and there are too many other things that need to be worried about besides that," Rachel said.
"It's just that sometimes I didn't feel whole. Like it wasn't fair to…"
"To Tommy or to you," Rachel asked.
"To both of us. What would we do if we managed to stay together and see a good future ahead of us? Would he want to stay with me if he knew that we couldn't ever have everything in life? Maybe he wouldn't want to," I said.
"Guys will want you no matter what. They're all alike. You have what they need so they'll always be there, whether you want them to be or not," Rachel replied.
"Tommy's not like that. Why do you feel that way," I asked.
"Because it's true. They're guys Amber. They all act like they care about you, but they only care about themselves," Rachel replied.
"I feel sorry for you, Rachel. What made you this way? If you could see my Dad right now you wouldn't be saying that," I said.
"Look, maybe your father and a few others are the exception. But most guys will only use you for one thing and then discard you like you're an old news feed. And if you don't cooperate with them or use them to procreate when you want to, they'll take what they want from you," Rachel said.
"Rachel? What are you saying? Is that something that you learned from being in the Dread Youth," I asked.
"I really don't want to talk about this anymore. You're fine, so get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow and there's a lot that needs to be done. I want to be ready for it," Rachel said.
"Rachel?"
"Drop it and go to sleep, Amber. We need to get some rest before the morning comes. Remember? What I just said to you," Rachel replied in an annoyed voice.
"Good night, Rachel," I said.
"Have a rejuvenating, rest period," Rachel replied as I laughed.
"What's so funny? I wasn't joking with you," Rachel said.
"Nothing. Really, just get some rest Rachel. And thank you," I said.