Cappie in the doorway of the living room, his mouth hanging slack and his hands balled into fists at his sides. HE could feel his fingernails digging into the flesh of his palms.

He tried desperately to force words out of his mouth or even to move, but his body betrayed him, refusing to budge as he took in the site before him.

Evan had his back to him, holding Casey against him and kissing her, desperately, savagely. And from where he was standing it looked for all the world as if she were kissing him back, just as desperately. Just as savagely.

Cappie's mind went completely blank, rational thought wasn't possible. She had played him, used him for her revenge, got what she wanted and then went right back to Evan. He thought he knew her better, thought she wasn't capable of being so deceitful, so vicious. But the evidence of how wrong he had been was staring him right in the face.

He finally managed to talk his feet into moving. He could barely hear Casey calling to him over the roaring in his ears. He ignored her, not wanting to hear how sorry she was, or anything else she had to say for that matter, and made his way quickly back up the stairs. His feet moved of their own volition, carrying him away from the painful sight behind him, helping him to retreat into his sanctuary.

Once there, he shut the door and bolted the lock as fast as his trembling hands could manage.

How could she do this to him ? She said she loved him. The words rang over and over in his head, her voice full of sincerity. He could still feel her touching him, her fingers full of tenderness and passion.

He felt like such a fool. How could he have let her use him again ? He hadn't blamed her last time she got her revenge through him. After all, he knew full well what she was doing and why. He had planned it so that he was there to catch her then.

But this time, he told her, he couldn't do it again. He said he wasn't strong enough to go through her walking back into Evan's arms again and she hadn't cared. She used him anyway. Thinking of nothing but herself and what she wanted, not caring who she hurt in the process.

The one thing he had always held on to was that she had never intentionally hurt him. He hadn't imagined she was that kind of person, a person who could hurt others without a thought, step on whoever they needed to in order to get what they wanted. That wasn't the Casey he knew. Had the Zeta Beta's really changed her so much ? Had they managed to turn her into one of them, an unfeeling, uncaring harpy without a conscious ?

No, he shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts from his mind. That wasn't who Casey was. He knew her, probably better than anyone else ever had. She wasn't like them. She couldn't have changed that much in such a small amount of time.

It wasn't n her nature to use people so callously. But he had seen it with his own eyes. And it was an image he would never be able to erase from his mind. She was clinging to him, her nails digging into his shoulders, her body so tightly against him that they looked like one person.

His chest hurt and he realized distractedly that he was holding his breath, forgotten for a moment that breathing was important, like his whole body was shutting down from the shock.

He should have just listened to the voice in the back of his head that shouted at him early as he watched her dress. It told him that something like this was going to happen, warned him that once they left his bedroom his whole life was going to shatter.

Tears stung his eyes and he brushed at them roughly with back of his hand. She would not make him cry he determined. But his body betrayed him once again and he was helpless to stop the wetness on his cheek.

It had only been minutes before that he finally had everything he wanted again. Now it was gone in an instant.

How many nights had he spent laying in his bed, trying desperately to conjure her from his memories, Resurrect the past, return to a time when he had been completely happy ?

And for a few hours he had returned. He had foolishly let himself believe that it wouldn't end this time. He promised himself, as he lay there in the early morning hours, holding her again, to make sure she knew exactly what she meant to him. He never wanted her to think he didn't care again.

He stopped as his doorknob turned uselessly. Then the knocking started and her voice calling to him from the other side of the door.

He put his hands over his ears to try and black out the sound, keep her out of his head. But he quickly saw it was impossible and stalked to the door, throwing it opened and standing in the doorway, not inviting her inside. He would never invite her inside again.

" What do you want ? " he bit out harshly.

" Cappie, you can't think that I wanted Evan kissing me down there ? " she gasped.

His eyes raked over her face. " What game are you playing now, Casey ? "

" What ? " she demanded. " What are you talking about ?"

" You got what you were after. Go back to Evan and leave me alone. " He spat before attempting to close the door in her face.

She stopped him with her hand on his arm and he jerked away from her like her touched had burned him.

" Don't. " he warned. " You made your choice. Now you'll have to live with it. "

She shook her head. " I made my choice last night. " Her voice was pleading and tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. But he steeled himself against her, erecting a wall as strong as he could make it.

" This is over. It's done. " he told her. " You don't have to keep it up. It's fine. I understand. You got to have your playtime and now it's time to go back to the grown up world. "

" Cappie, please you know me better than that. I wouldn't use you like that. I would never hurt you. I love you. " she continued.

He watched her carefully, trying to keep up his resolve, wanting nothing more than to believe her and pull her back into his arms. " I know what I saw. " He said, quietly.

" No, " she replied, " You obviously don't. He backed me into a corner and grabbed me. I couldn't get away. "

" You didn't look like you were protesting too hard to me. "

She reached out and took his hand in hers. " You have to believe me. I was trying to get away from him. He wouldn't let me go. "

He chuckled sardonically and jerked his hand back. " I bet he was having a hard time letting you go, what with you clutching at his shoulders and all. "

He made to close the door once again.

" Is that what you really think was happening ? " she asked, her voice stunned and disbelieving. " You really think I used you to get back at him for Becca again and then I made up with him in your living room ? "

He nodded softly. " That isn't what I think. It's what I saw. "

" Fine, " she shrugged. " If you really think that little of me, then just let me get my things and I'll get out of your way. "

He hesitated only a moment before noticing that she was still only dressed in his shirt and he opened the door, allowing her inside. He watched in tormented silence as she went about collecting her things from around his room. He bit his tongue to keep from stopping her. It would be so easy to close the door and pretend like the last few minutes never happened. Go back to there sanctuary away from the world. But the image of her wrapped around Evan burned the back of his eyes as he tried to shut it out.

" Why ? " he asked, not even realizing he had actually spoke out loud until she turned around and looked at him.

" Why what ? " she asked, confused.

" Why did you have to go through all this trouble ? Telling me you loved me and making me think that you really had chosen me. " he explained. " I mean if you had just come to me and said, Hey Cappie, Evan had sex with Becca again and I need you to get my revenge, I probably would have gone right along. You didn't have to take this so far. "

She looked at him with sad, tortured eyes and he could tell she was struggling with something. " I can't believe that you think this was all some kind of game. I told you I loved you. I don't use those words casually. " she said finally. " How can you say you love me when you think that I could do something like this ? " She looked away and nodded mournfully before turning back to her task. " I was right all along, You don't love me. "

" What ? " he demanded. " How can you say that ? I wasn't the one with Evan. "

She turned back to him quickly. " You obviously don't even know me."

He stepped closer to her and regarded her with angry, cold eyes. " I know you better than anyone or at least I used to. You let them change you. You let them turn you into someone I don't even like, rather less love. "

She gasped at his words and he instantly regretted them as the tears started to flow again. Before he could stop her she was out the door, slamming it forcefully behind her.

" I can't believe he thinks I would do something like that to him. " Casey continued to rant as she took another drink from her glass, draining it completely.

Jenn took it from her and smiled indulgently. She had been sitting her with her for the last two hours wanting nothing more than to go home and check on Rusty. But she couldn't leave her like she was and she hadn't been able to convince her to leave. " I'm sure he was just hurt and angry and wasn't thinking." She filled the glass from the half empty bottle of whiskey that Casey had ordered the waitress to leave and handed it back to her.

Casey accepted it and took another long drink. " It doesn't matter. " she muttered. " I knew this wouldn't work. Here we are less than twenty four hours later and we're at each others throats again. How can we have a relationship like that ? It's all just so impossible. "

The small crowded bar was starting to fill up as the usual crowd began to shuffle through and Jenn glanced around, looking for anyone that might recognize them. For a Monday night, the place was really starting to get packed and she dreaded anyone that knew Casey seeing her like she was. Her make up was long since gone. Her eyes, red swollen from a barge of tears that hadn't stopped since Jenn found her the day before sitting on the front steps of the ZBZ house

" Casey, " she reached for the glass in the older girl's hand and tried to grab it, but Casey dodged her with surprising swiftness given her state and drained it once again. " I think maybe you've had enough. We should be getting back before someone we know comes in. "

Casey laughed out loud and swayed in her chair. " I don't care anymore. I don't care who see me and I don't care what they think. " She leaned forward, looking at Jenn blurringly. " I'm done trying to be something I'm not. At least he helped me figure that out. I finished. This is who I really am. " She gave another sharp, high pitched laugh. " I'm a mess. " Then she leaned closer still and lowered her voice to a whisper. " You wanna know a secret ? "
Jenn smiled at her patiently. " Sure, Casey. What's you're secret ? "

" I've been a mess since I left him last time. I just figured out how to hide it really well. No one knows. " She put her finger to her lips. " So don't tell, okay ? "

Jenn nodded solemnly. " I won't tell anyone. I promise. You're secret is safe with me. "

" You're a really good person, Jenn. " Casey slurred, leaning against her. " Don't let them change you. They'll try, you know. "

" Who will try ? "

" The ZBZ's. " Casey answered. " Frannie and her followers. All the little bitches who only care about themselves. "

" Casey, Sweetie. They are you're friends. You're sisters. They care about you. " Jenn assured her.

She nodded against her shoulder, causing Jenn to wince as her head dug into her collarbone. " No, they don't care. They only care about what they want. If it wasn't for them, none of this would have happened. "

" What wouldn't have happened ? " Jenn asked, confused now.

" I wouldn't have broken up with Cappie. I wouldn't have started dating that asshole. None if it would have happ..happp... happened. " The slurring was getting worse and Jenn was starting to have trouble understanding her words. She nudged her a bit, sitting her upright in her own chair and looked at her.

" You broke up with Cappie because of the sisters ? " she asked, trying to keep her taking instead of having her pass out.

" Yeah, Frannie thought I could do better. There was a big meeting and everyone agreed I should break up with him. " she explained.

" So, it was just like what we did to Ashleigh ? "

Casey stopped swaying and looked her, her bloodshot eyes scanning her face. " Yeah, " she whispered finally. " No wonder she's so pissed at me. "

Jenn nodded knowingly. " Maybe you should talk to her tomorrow. "

Casey tried to stand. " No, I should talk to her tonight. "

Jenn grabbed her arm to keep her from falling. " No, I think maybe tonight you should go to bed. It can wait till morning. "

Casey stopped and Jenn watched as she started crying again. " I don't have anywhere to go. " she whispered quietly.

" What ? Of course you do. Let me take you back to the house and get you tucked into bed. " Jenn said, draping Casey's arm around her shoulder so she could steady her as she tried to walk.

" I don't wanna go back to the house. Becca is there and Frannie. I don't want them to see me like this." Casey protested, refusing to budge.

" But we need to get you to bed and I don't know where else to take you. " Jenn sighed, pulling at her, trying to urge her forward.

" I'll take her, if she'll let me. " A voice said from behind her. Jenn spun as best she could while still supporting Casey.

" Cappie. " she sighed in relief. " I don't know what to do with her. She doesn't want to go home and I have no where else to take her. "

He smiled at her softly. Then he went to Casey's side and put her arm around his shoulder. " Casey, " he said, bending to get her attention. She still hadn't noticed he was there, completely lost in her drunken stupor. " Do you want to come to my place ? "

Casey smiled and draped her arms around his neck, causing Jenn to stumble as she lifted her weight from her. " Cappie, what are you doing here ? "

" I'm here to take you home. Is that okay ? " he asked, again.

She kissed him sloppily then just as quickly the smile dropped and she pushed at him feebly. " I thought you were mad at me. " she slurred. " I'm mad at you for being mad at me. "

He laughed. " That sounds like there's a lot of mad going around. How about we don't worry about all that right now and just get you to bed. We can talk about it all in the morning. "

She pulled away again, more successfully this time and managed to stay upright on her own. " You said you didn't even like me. I don't want to go home with you. "

He took her arm again and put it around his shoulder. " You know I didn't mean it. Now let's go home and sleep it off. "

" I have to go to the bathroom first. " she announced.

Jenn stepped up to take her arm. " I'll take her. "

" No, " she snatched away from her. " I can make it. "

" I don't mind, Casey. We can talk about Cappie some more. " Jenn coaxed.

Casey shook her head. " Shh, " she hushed her. " He's standing right there. " Jenn tried her best to suppress a smile as she watched her stumble a bit but quickly regain her balanced. "No, I'm good. I'll be right back. " She started to walk away then stopped and turned back to them. " If I'm not back in five minutes, send the navy. " she laughed, then turned and stumbled away.

" Maybe I should follow her. " Jenn said anxiously.

" I think she's okay. I've seen her worse. " he laughed quietly.

" So how did you just happen along like that ? "

" Well, I talked to Beaver and he told me he was listening the whole time and Casey was fighting Evan off and I've been looking for her since. No one knew where she went. "

" I told Becca. I guess she didn't feel like sharing. " Jenn smiled. " I really really don't like that girl. "

Cappie laughed, " She's okay, if you're into that vicious, slut, bitchy thing. "

Jenn laughed with him. " Have you heard from Rusty ? Is he okay ? "

" I personally tucked him into the couch at the house and he is fine. Although his eye is swollen completely shut now and he says his head is killing him. "

She let out a sigh of relief. " I have been trying to get back home all night so I could check on him, but I couldn't just leave her like that. "

" Thank you for watching out for her. " he said, suddenly serious. " I'm sorry to have caused all this. "

" Please, " she waved him away. " I would have been angry too. "

" Oh, come on. " he teased. " You angry ? I just can't imagine that. "

She laughed and batted at him. " I get angry sometimes. I'm not always this nice. "

Casey reappeared, stumbling slightly but still upright and smiled at both of them as she sat down once again. " I made it. And I didn't even fall once. "

Cappie chuckled at her as he took her arm and let her lean against him. " See, That's my girl. I knew you could do it. "

Jenn laughed at them as they started away and Cappie through another thanks over his shoulder at her.

" She's so nice. She kept filling up my glass every time it got empty. " Casey said in a sing song voice as they started across the parking lot. " She better be nice to my brother though. I'd hate to have to kick her ass. "

Cappie laughed. " I'd hate for you to have to kick her ass. Like you said, she is a really nice girl, after all. "

She stopped him as he turned away from her after leaning her against his car. Her arms came around his neck and stepped closer to her. " I'm really, really, really sorry about yesterday. " she whispered against his neck. " Please don't be mad at me anymore and please don't not like me anymore. "

He let out a quiet chuckled and pulled her closer to him. " I'm not mad anymore. I know what happened and I'm sorry I didn't believe you. " He told her sincerely although he knew she wouldn't remember a bit of what he said tomorrow.

" You were really mean to me. " she pouted, her bottom lip sticking out just slightly and it took all his self control not to take it in his mouth.

" I know and I'm sorry. I should have trusted you. " he said instead.

She pushed at his shoulder and puffed out her chest. " Yes, you should have. Now I remember why I was mad at you. "

He bowed his head and took her hand in his. " You have every right to be mad. I'm really, really, really sorry, too. But can we talk about this tomorrow. "

She pulled him to her and kissed him softly, her breath tasted of whiskey and he let himself sink it the sensation of having her in his arms once again for a moment before pulling away, determined not to take advantage of her in her current state.

" Take me home, please. " she said finally. " I'm not feeling so good. "

" I'll bet you aren't. " he agreed. " Did you have help with that back there or was that all you ? "

She poked her chest out again, proudly this time. " Nope. It was all me, and I'm still standing. " Then she wavered and sat back against the car, looking sheepish. " Mostly. " she added.

" You're doing fine. Great, in fact. " He assured, helping her into the car.

He came around and jumped into the driver's seat.

" Is my little brother okay ? I haven't heard anything from him since he got home yesterday. " she asked, once they were on there way.

" He's good. He was asleep on the couch at the house last I saw him. His eye is pretty terrible, but other than that, he's fine. "

She nodded and leaned her head back against the seat rest, closing her eyes.

Cappie scooped her out of the seat as carefully as he could and hefted her into his arms, trying to keep from waking her. He walked softly up the steps, aware that every step was likely to jar her from her sleep.

Once inside, he managed to navigate the stairs with relative ease, only having a slight problem when he reached his door. After fumbling for a few moments, he got it opened and carrying her to the bed, laying her as gently in her place and brushed a wayward strand of hair from her eyes. He looked down at her and was surprised to see her looking back at him.

" I thought you were out for the count. " he smiled softly.

" I need to get up. " She tried to sit up but he held her down with a hand on her shoulder. Still she struggled against him. Until she managed a sitting position.

" Casey, Honey. Just lay down. " he argued.

" No, " she insisted. " I'm going to be sick. "

" Oh, " He yelped and helped her as quickly as possible to the bathroom, holding back her hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach.

When she was finally done, he handed her a wet wash cloth and a glass of water.

She used both before looking up at him with shame filled eyes. " I'm sorry. " she said, finally, her throat raw sounding and hoarse.

He dropped to the bathroom floor beside her and smiled. " It's okay. This is the Kappa Tau house. I promise you aren't the first person to puke here and you certainly won't be the last. "

She smiled feebly at his attempt at a joke and shook her head. " I'm sorry for all of this. I shouldn't have let him trap me like that. It was stupid. "

His face fell instantly and he pulled her to him. " You have nothing to be sorry about. " he told her firmly. " I'm the one that acted like an ass. I should have believed in you and threw his sorry ass out as soon as I saw him. "

" Is this how it's going to be now ? " she asked after a moment or two of silence. " Are you ever going to be able to trust that I'm not going back to him ? "

He drew back from her and regarded her carefully trying to answer her as truthfully as he could. " I hope I can. " He said finally.

She struggled into a standing position and he joined her, letting her lean on him as they walked back to his room.

" You hope you can trust me ? " she asked, solemnly. " That isn't very reassuring. "

She sat on the side of his bed, her legs crossed Indian style as she looked at him with suddenly very sober seeming eyes.

He shrugged and came to sit beside her. " It's the most honest answer I have. I don't want to lie and say that I will never doubt you again. I can't promise that. I just get stupidly, insanely jealous when it comes to you. "

She nodded and took a deep breath. " You do believe that I love you, though ? You know I wasn't using you to get back at him or anything like that ? "

He moved closer to her and took her hand. " I know you weren't playing games with me. It's just hard for me to believe that you love me. "

She looked at him questioningly. " Why is that so hard to believe ? "

It was his turn to take a deep breath and he looked to the ceiling for inspiration. When none came, he decided to try to push forward as best he could, finding it very difficult to explain exactly how he was feeling. " It's like I still can't believe you're really here. Like any minute I think I'm going to look up and you won't be there. Or I'm going to wake up and find you gone. "

She put her hand on the side of his face, stroking his skin softly. " So what are we going to do about this ? How am I going to convince you that I really am here and I don't want to be anywhere else ? "

He took her hand and kissed it. " I don't know. Maybe I just need some time. "

" Maybe, you just need to believe me. " she answered firmly. " I have never lied to you. Through everything that we've been through, I have never mislead you or told you anything that wasn't honest. I think I deserve your trust. "

He stood and started to pace again. " It isn't that I don't trust you. " he said, pulling his hands through his hair. " It's just so hard to believe that you choose me. " He gestured around the room animatedly. "That you choose this. " He came back to sit beside her and took hold of her hands. " It's like winning the lottery, or having everything you ever wanted just dropped in your lap. I guess I'm a bit shell shocked."

Her smile was warm and full of love when she leaned in to kiss him again. " I was such an idiot for leaving you. "

" Yeah, you were. " he agreed. He looked at her questioningly, suddenly, as a thought occurred to him.

" Why did you leave last time ? I mean., I thought everything was fine and then one day you just showed up and said you didn't want to see me anymore. It was kind of out of the blue. "

She looked down at her hands entwined with his and closed her eyes for a moment. " I left because I left the ZBZ's turn me into a sheep. " She answered enigmatically.

" What ? " He pulled her eyes back up to his and looked at her critically.

" They wanted me to leave. Said I could do better and I let them lead me around, playing with me like some warped Barbie Doll. I followed them, blindly obeying every order they issued. "

HE inclined his head towards her and sat back. " You left me because they told you too ? "

She nodded.

He got up and moved away from her abruptly. " You left me because Frannie thought you could do better ? "

Casey's look was surprised as she stared at him. " I know it was stupid. I shouldn't have listened to them. " she offered weakly.

" You're damn right it was stupid. " He agreed without hesitating. " All this time I thought you left because I never told you how I really felt. I thought I'd done something wrong or not done enough. "

He was ranting and he knew it, but he couldn't stop himself. " I've spent the last year tormenting myself. Driving myself crazy trying to figure out what I did, how I could have done things better, how I could have kept you from leaving. "

She came to where he was standing in the middle of the room and tried to stop him with a hand on his shoulder. " I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have let them tell me what to do. You didn't do anything. Coming here that day was one of the hardest things I've ever done. "

He looked down at her. " Well, I'm glad to know it wasn't easy for you. " he spat suddenly angry.

" Please don't be mad. " she pleaded. " It's over. It was a long time ago. I know I messed up but I'm here now. "

" Until when ? The next time they decide you shouldn't be ? " he demanded, stepping away from her.

" No, " she nodded quickly. " I'm leaving the ZBZ's. You are what I want and if they want me to chose between them and you, then I chose you. "

He stared at her in disbelief. " You're going to leave ? " he asked finally, still stunned by her declaration.

" Yeah, I'm leaving. I don't them running my life anymore. You were right. This is college. Life shouldn't be this hard yet and I realized they are what is making my life so complicated. " She took a deep breath and let it out in a gush of air. " So I'm done. It's time for me to be my own person and make my own decisions. "

" I'm going to let you leave your sorority because of me. I can't ask you to do that. I know how important they are to you. " he told her.

She came to him, put her arms around his neck and rested her head against his chest. " They aren't as important to me as you are. "

" Wow, " he sighed heavily and wrapped his arms around her waist. " I can't believe you would do that for me. "

She drew back and looked at him, reaching up to brush the hair out of his eyes. " I love you and I'm done pretending that I don't. "

She kissed him suddenly and he let himself sag against her, drawing her in like air. " You really are serious. You do love me. " He said as when they finally broke apart.

" I really do. I never stopped. " she confirmed with a nod.

" I love you, too. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. " He guided her towards the bed and sat her down, before sitting beside her. " I should have told you the first time I saw you. I knew it then. "

" Freshman year was the best time of my life. " she answered.

He pulled her to him, kissing her again. " Let's make junior year just as good. "

She melted into him and him tightly against her. " No, let's make it better. "

He smiled down at her before kissing her once again, happier than he could ever remember being.