A.N. I'm back! This story isn't how the two love birds got together; it's sad. It's Lily's thinkings on James's new girlfriend. It's set during the sixth year, before they got together.
The song is called: I'm Not That Girl. It's from Wicked and I do not own it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
There's a Fine Line
I should have known. I should have known that this would happen; that he'd get over me. I should have known he would move on. Why didn't I?
I look over at James and my ex-best friend Jane tangled together in a chair. I hate her. I feel tears well up in my eyes at the sight of them, and I look away, as though their public displays of affection scorched my eyes. In a way, it did. Salty water of despondency falls down my face, and I get up and walk out of the portrait hole. I can't take this anymore.
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl:
I can remember when he would look at me like that. My eyes would meet his beautiful orbs of hazel, and I'd get butterflies and I know he'd get them, too. We had an unspoken connection…whenever he would mention it, I'd get scared and snap at him, telling him I didn't know what he was talking about. I regret that almost as much as I regret falling in love.
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl
I wander around the school, and then find myself facing the stretch of wall where the Room of Requirement is located. It couldn't hurt, could it? I concentrate; I need to find a place where I can forget him…just a place where I can stay for a little while.
Three times I walk in front of that wall, and then a highly polished door pops into existence. Turning the handle, I walk in.
Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Seeing a comfortable-looking bed, I settle myself onto it. Sinking into the soft coziness of the white linens and goose feathers, I break down completely. I wish that were me, sitting with him, kissing him, holding his hand, eating meals with him and his friends. Why couldn't it be me? I'm just as good as she is. Why didn't he pick me?
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl:
Oh wait. He did pick me. I was his first choice. I was just too stupid to see that the strong emotion I felt for him was not, in fact, hate, but even more powerful and certainly more wonderful than that: it was love. It always was love. The old saying: "there's a fine line between love and hate," is actually true. I never would have known.
And now, I've missed my chance. He's got the tall, pretty blonde with the large breasts and a bubbly personality. He left the short, flat chested redhead with books and teachers as friends. Who wouldn't chose her?
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl
If only…I had figured out my feelings in time. I wish I had. He's got the girl who's completely pulled together, with no temper to speak of, and a normal, average personality that everyone loves and wants to be like.
I'm definitely not that girl.
A.N. Well? How was it? I know it was short, but it was a short song, and I thought it captured the angsty teenage heart pretty well. At least, that's how my mind works. Forgive my very different change from fluffy, romantic stories to, well, this. My boyfriend just dumped me and I was in the mood for a little angst.
Review, blossom!