My plan was to spend the entire day wrapped around Cappie, laying on his bed, watching movies, Alone.

But as my eyes scanned the room around me I had to admit this wasn't so bad either. Rusty sat on the floor his back propped against the side of the bed. Ashleigh and Calvin lounged across a garish Green Bay Packers bean bag chair in the corner and Beaver was sprawled across the foot of the bed causing both Cappie and I to tuck our legs up to give him room. We had a full fledged party going on.

I think we watched every bad movie ever made. From Bill and Ted's excellent Adventure to School of Rock. And I loved every minute of it. Not once did I feel like I needed to be something other than who I was. Not once did I have to force myself to say one thing even though I was thinking something else. Not once did any of our companions judge us or even glance our way when Cappie and I found ourselves making out during a particularly boring part of Jay and Silent Bob strike back.

Yeah, I know, I said I wasn't ready for the physical stuff, but I was running on instinct at the moment. And in that moment, with his arms wrapped around me, my body resting firmly against his, my instinct said to kiss him. So I did. Okay, maybe more than once. His reaction was surprised at first, but he caught up with no problems.

The only reaction from the room in general was Beaver telling us to ' Get a room' when one of your feet connected with his spine.

" This is my room. " Cappie told him, barely breaking contact with me.

" Oh, yeah, I guess it is. " Beaver commented weakly and fell silent, not complaining again even when I bumped the back of his head as I shifted to get closer to Cappie.

I felt wonderful. Everything was wonderful. The word kept repeating itself over and over in my head as Cappie continued to kiss me.

We pulled apart when oxygen became an issue and I noticed that Beaver had turned towards us. He was watching us with an amused expression on his face. I looked over Cappie's shoulder and saw that everyone else was watching as well. It looked like they were all about to applaud and give us scores. I felt my checks redden at the attention.

" What ? " Cappie asked. Then he looked around as well. " You're all just jealous. " He told them as he saw their looks.

" No argument here. " Beaver commented dryly.

" The movie's over. " Rusty said around a grin that was threatening to take over his face. " If you wouldn't mind disengaging yourself from my SISTER, we need to know what to put in next. "

We had been so lost in each other, we hadn't even noticed. Cappie pulled away from me and sat up. I joined him.

A knock on the door, brought everyone's attention there and away from us, Thank God. But even despite the embarrassment, I noticed that it was different from the Omega Chi house. When the guys there caught Evan and I making out, there was teasing, but it always carried with it a slight disproving air. They never came right out and said anything but it was in the tone of the teasing.

Here, sure they teased, but under the teasing was a sense of comfortable, good-natured fun. It really was just teasing, not a veiled insult, just fun.

Heath and Wade were at the door, holding a bottle of Tequila, a salt shaker and a bowl of cut up limes.

Somehow I wasn't surprised. I remembered I was at the Kappa Tau house. Sooner or later, alcohol was bound to make an appearance.

" We were just down in the kitchen and it occurred to us that everyone in the house was up here, " Wade said. " Well everyone important that is. Then we got paranoid and thought maybe you were all up here talking about us. So we thought we'd join you. "

" We even brought refreshments. " Heath added, handing the bowl of limes to Rusty who had answered the door.

Somehow, we all found a place in the small room. Someone suggested we move the party downstairs to the den, but it was quickly shot down by Cappie, who determined I was too weak to make it down the stairs. I tried to argue, but he cut me off with a firm look that said he wasn't going to listen.

So we ended up with Cappie and I at the head of the bed, Beaver and Wade at the foot. Rusty was still beside the bed closest to Cappie and Ashleigh, Heath and Calvin were on my side. The tequila, salt and limes sat in the middle of the bed.

Apparently a drinking game was called for. Cappie said he didn't think I should be drinking at all, but I put my foot down. I was in too good a mood. I wanted to spread my wings and enjoy some upbeat, amiable camaraderie.

We choose bullshit. It was an easy enough game. The first person made a statement. At the moment it was Beaver, professing that his favorite drink was a fuzzy navel. Then we all went around the circle, either accepting his statement, or saying bullshit, which meant we didn't believe it. So far everyone had called a resounding bullshit on this round except Cappie.

" My favorite drink is in fact, " he paused for a dramatic effect. " The wonderfully fruity Fuzzy navel."

Everyone but Cappie took their shots.

Wade was the next person to make a statement. " I have never had a serious girlfriend. "

Nobody denied this one. None of us had ever seen Wade serious about anything.

He smiled smugly. " I dated Heather Wilson in high school for six months. "

We all took our shots dutifully.

Calvin was up next. He hesitated for a moment before confessing. " I have never had sex with a woman. "

That caused many raised eyebrows, and several calls of bullshit. Ashleigh and I were the only ones to accept his statement. It was Heath's acceptance that surprised me the most. And obviously Ashleigh was feeling the same because she was looking at him intently.

" I have, in fact, never had sex with a woman. " Calvin confirmed.

The guys, save Heath, took their shots with a bit of protest. They were all sure he was lying.

Heath sat up a little straighter and looked around the room from face to face as if he were trying to decided something. Then he cleared his throat. " I've never told anyone I loved them. "

We all said bullshit, but he confirmed the statement as true and we all drank.

I thought that was the saddest statement I'd heard so far that night.

Ashleigh was up next. " The first time I had sex was in my parents bed while they were in the Bahamas on vacation. "

I knew this was true and I said so, Calvin, Heath, and Cappie all agreed with me. Beaver and Wade called bullshit.

Ashleigh giggled and shook her head. " They were in Hawaii. " she beamed.

The four of us took our drinks.

Then it was my turn. I thought about what I wanted to say for a moment before stating, " I have a tattoo. "

This caused a split in the room. Wade, Beaver, Cappie and Calvin all said it was true. Heath, Rusty and Ashleigh all agreed I was lying.

" I do have a tattoo. " I smiled.

" No way ! " Rusty exclaimed. " Let me see. "

I couldn't exactly show it too them. It was a small butterfly on my left breast. I wasn't about to flash everyone to prove it. They would just have to trust me on this one.

I felt Cappie take my hand and squeeze it. He had known it was true. He was there when I got it, holding my hand and getting one of his own.

" I'm not showing you, Rusty. " I said.

" Then I don't believe you. " He shot back.

" Russ, " Cappie said. " She's got a tattoo. "

Rusty looked like he was about to ask how Cappie knew. But he thought better of it and took his shot.

" I was a virgin when I came to college. " Cappie stated.

Everyone immediately called bullshit. Except me. I knew differently.

He surprised everyone by saying the statement was true. He was a virgin when he came to college. I watched as they all took their shots.

" Okay, " he called. " Last one, then all you loser have to find a new place to hang so Casey can get some rest. "

There were protests from every member of the circle, except me actually. I was ready for some serious alone time.

" I have never spent the entire night with a woman. " Rusty said.

We all agreed with this one. Actually I think most of them were surprised he had ever spent any part of the night with a woman.

Taking one last shot all around, everyone stood and started making their way to the door. Beaver and Wade gathered up all the alcohol supplies before leaving as well.

When the last of them finally shut the door, Cappie moved beside me and pulled me into his arms.

He didn't kiss me. He just stretched out with my body against his and held me to him.

We stayed like that for a long while, silently enjoying just being with each other.

Finally, he kissed the top of my head and pulled back slightly to look at me. " Are you still feeling okay ? The tequila didn't make you sick ? "

" No, a little drunk maybe, but not sick. "

" You haven't really had enough to eat or drink today. " he said. " Can I get you anything ? "

I shook my head. " Trust me, I've had enough to drink today. "

He chuckled softly. " Okay, but you haven't had enough of the right things to eat or drink today. "

I conceded that point, but told him I was fine. I didn't feel like eating. I didn't want to move, in fact. I was finally feeling like everything was okay. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

He let it go with only a little protest and pulled me to him again, resting his chin on the top of my head. He was apparently content to not move either.

I couldn't recall the last time I felt so good. His body against mine was strong and solid. The alcohol running through me gave me a wonderfully relaxed feeling. I felt safe, protected and warm. I realized I was feeling everything I had been missing in the last few months. I never felt like this with Evan. He didn't inspire feelings of warmth and safety in me.

" Do you remember our first time ? " Cappie asked into the silence.

" Yeah. " I answered immediately.

" I think about it a lot when I'm laying here trying to sleep. "

" Really ? " I asked. " Are they good thoughts ? "

" Sometimes. " he said quietly.

" Only sometimes ? "

" The other times I wish I had done more. Made it more special. "

I looked at him. " It was special. " I argued.

" You said it yourself, It was awkward and weird and terrifying. " he countered.

" But I also said it was a memory I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. It was special because it was with you. "

" Wouldn't it have been a little less awkward and weird and terrifying if I had... I don't know, rented a classy room and had candles everywhere and music in the background ? "

I smiled. " There was music. "

" I don't remember music. " he looked doubtful.

" If I'm not mistaking and I don't think I am, you had your radio on and it was playing Aerosmith. "

" Aerosmith ? Really ? "

" Yeah, I don't wanna miss a thing. I always kinda thought of that as our song after that. " I let my eyes drop to his chest. " I still can't hear it without thinking of you. "

" Wow, " he sighed. " We had a song. I had no idea. "

" You never had a song that just reminds you of me every time you hear it ? "

" Well there's Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me. " he teased.

I laughed. " I'm serious. I really want to know what you think of as our song. "

The smile left his eyes and he turned suddenly solemn. " You really want to know ? "

" Yeah. I really want to know. "
" I'm a big fan of the Plain White T's. I can't hear Let's pretend without think of you. Actually I can't hear most of their music without thinking of you. "

I tried to keep the sadness from my face. " You mean the only songs that remind you of me are sad songs ? "

He thought about that for some long I wasn't sure he was going to answer. " Yeah, I guess they are. "

" I don't know what to say to that. " I said honestly.

He gathered me closer to him and kissed my forehead again. " Say that we are starting over and making happy memories together. Replacing all the bad stuff with oodles of happiness and groovy feelings. "

" I have so much to make up to you. " I felt like crying again. My glorious afternoon was taking a turn for the worse. Damn it. I knew it was too good to be true.

He leaned back and brushed a stray hair from my face. " Hey, You don't have anything to make up to me, Casey. We both did things that we regret. Neither of us deserves the blame for what happened. "

" That isn't even a little true and you know it. " I told him. " I was the one that walked away. I was the one that turned my back on what we had. "

" Is that what all this taking it slow stuff is about ? " he asked perceptively. " You feeling guilty for leaving last time ? "

I nodded, the tequila making honesty suddenly not so scary. " I just want to feel like I deserve you again. "

" Deserve me ? " he exclaimed. " I'm theone feeling seriously inadequet in the deserving department. How could you possibly feel like you don't deserve me ? You deserve so much more than me, I can't believe you'd settle for me. "

"I'm not settling for you. " I countered. " I've never meet anyone like you. You have the most beautiful soul of anyone I've ever meet. "

His look was thunderstruck as he stared back at me. " You are the only person I've ever shared my soul with. Most people don't get me. But you always have. "

A tear slid down my check and he caught it with his thumb and wiped it away. " Oh, no. I think we've had plenty enough of the tears lately. " He said, firmly. " God, I never saw you cry until last night in the hospital. Not in the entire time I've known you. Now I can't get you to stop. "

I managed a smile. " I know. I think I've cried more in the last week than I have in my entire life. "

" Why ? I mean aside from the fact that your sorority is in such bad shape. What else happened to bring on this emotional deluge ? " he asked.

" I've been thinking about us a lot lately. About how much I miss you, about how good things were with us. " I said quietly.

" Well, you don't have to miss me anymore. I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again. "

" It's more than that. I've been thinking about what Rusty said last week about how I use everyone around me for my own purposes. And then you said you thought I kept you hanging on a string on purpose. Even Danielle seemed to agree with that assessment. "

" Casey, I don't feel like you use me. " he said. " I was angry and confused and all I could see when you touched me that day was Evan and the necklace around your neck. I just couldn't take it. I exploded and I'm sorry. "

" You have no reason to apologize to me. I'm the one that's sorry. I never should have put you in that position again. "

" Okay, " he sighed again. " Let's stop this right now. We're both sorry. We both did and said things we regret. We can just leave it there. It's all in the past. "

" Can we really do that ? Can we leave everything that we've been through in the past ? "
He considered that. " Well not everything and I think that's probably a good thing. Everything we've been through makes me realize how lucky I am to have you back. It makes me love you more now than I did before. "

I couldn't even imagine loving him more now than I had last time we were together, but he was right. I did feel so much closer to him than I ever had before. I was abruptly not at all convinced I wanted to continue with this taking things slowly approach.

Although, I acknowledged silently, my resolve there had been slipping all afternoon. I wanted him. I wanted to feel as close to him as possible.

" I love you, too. " I told him quietly. " You have no idea how lucky I feel to with you. I really thought after that fight that I was never going to see you again. I thought it was over. "

" So did I and it scared the hell out of me. My whole life stretched out before me and it looked cold and empty. "

" I know. I felt exactly the same way. " I nodded.

" Would you mind too terribly if I kiss you ? " he asked, looking down at me with a small smirk.

I pulled him down to me and kissed him instead. My arms snaked around his shoulders. His hands cupped my chin for a moment before grabbing me around the waist and dragging me closer.

It was like a floodgate broke between us. Before our touches had been sweet and gentle and tender. We hadn't let ourselves feel everything we remembered feeling. Now we clung to one another in desperation, holding on as if our very lives depended on it.

I pushed against him, arching my chest into his, making him understand that I was no longer interested in moving slowly. His mouth dropped to my neck. He let his tongue rest against the throbbing pulse in my throat and I heard a groan escape my own lips as I threw my head back, ready to let him lead me any place he wanted to take me.

Apparently that place was the brink of insanity and took me there over and over. The heat from his touch stayed with me, like a permanent brand, marking me as his. It was still there long after we both collapsed into an exhausted pile of entwined legs and arms.

I could barely tell which limb belonged to whom and it reminded me of his story of the Split Aparts. I settled my head on his chest and dozed off, dreaming about blissfully cartwheeling through the rest of my life with him.