Emmet. So far Emmet is the brawny kind. The tough kind that modifies a simple "Yes" into a "Hell yeah!"You know, the kind that's really fun to look at when he's pissed off like hell. So I decided to do him first before Jacob before Bella.
And…! Here's Emmet Cullen!
Emmet:
Draw a mustache on his face and arched evil villain eyebrows with a marker
Put your hand on his chest, pause and then say, "yup, not a woman. Sorry. Just wanted to confirm." (Reworded this a bit. Remembered from 500 Ways to Annoy Sanzo
Give him Victoria's Secret lingerie for Christmas
Call him "Daddy".
When he asks for directions, fake it and give him directions leading to a toga party in a steakhouse. Tell the people there he's a special guest of honor
Call his cell phone. When he answers, do nothing but breathe.
Give him concert tickets to Spice Girls. (Author's note: I know they're old and have disbanded but give me any other girly band)
Make some random grandmother fall in love with him.
Tell random people in the streets that he's gay
Superglue a pantyhose to his head. Make them look like bunny ears if you want
Superglue pictures of men's legs on every inch of his room
Jump on his lap and poke his eye multiple times for no reason then finally jump off screaming , "Emmet hates me!"
Give him an invitation to a "mauling-some-random-guy-by-a-bear convention"
Get every material thing he owns and/or loves and donate them to a children's hospital
Ask him what it's like being scarred for life by a crazy blonde bitch whenever he goes to bed
Ask him what it's like to have Edward fall in love with him
Do nothing but stare at him all week with bulging eyes.
Put on a Mexican poncho, a neon pink tutu, a panty hose on your head, men's boxers and mismatching, brightly colored socks then go around saying you're Emmet's girlfriend