And here's Jacob Black! I might be updating more on him some time in the future cause' for one thing, I don't feel all that inspired and that's bad for businesses like these. Anyways, I'm sure you've noticed how much I've been putting Barney in this. Hate the stupid dinosaur.

At the start, I liked Jacob, especially in Twilight and a bit in New Moon, but when he turned into an asshole werewolf, I started a riot against him. I'm not doing this because I like him. I'm doing this cause' I really want to annoy him straight to hell so he can grovel at Satan's knees and beg him to curse me.

But I'm not all that creative today so lucky him!

Jacob:

Give him deodorant and mouthwash for his Birthday. Tell him it's for the best.

Ask him why he hasn't imprinted yet.

Ask him about puberty

Laugh at him for no reason, throw a pie at his face then run around then run off screaming into the horizon.

Put a leash and collar around him then tie him to a post.

When he asks for directions to the bathroom point him to the fire hydrant.

Dump a pile of wedding invitations on him.

Burn all his original birth certificates, files, records, etc.

Replace said birth certificates, files, records, etc. with forged ones. Make sure the Father part has the name Sirius Black on it.

Make sure the Mother part says Remus Lupin. (From NLAOTIC Psychotic)

Superglue gigantic sideburns to the side of his face.

Strap him to a chair with a television in front of him. Force him to watch reruns of Barney episodes.

Wait for the right moment when he's almost forgotten them. When the time comes, walk through the front door with a Barney costume on.

Record a girl with a high pitched voice screaming. Let everyone hear it. Then tell them it's Jacob Black.

Get him to desperately fall in love with you (dress up as Bella if you have to), marry him then the moment you walk out the church doors, walk away. Tell him, "I'm sorry but I'm in love with a fire hydrant. We just can't be together."

Adopt 58 children under the name "Jacob Black". Make sure it's official.

Ask for his shoe size. When he tells you, laugh and ask for his real one.

Key into his car, "I love Edward Cullen." (From -I-luv-Edward-Cullen123)

Put up fliers saying "Lost Dog" with a picture of Jacob Black on it. (Inspired by -I-luv-Edward-Cullen123)

Thanks so much for those suggestions!

Will be updating this chapter when more ideas come! Until those ideas come, I'm starting on Bella next. Suggestions are welcome! Sorry for the late upload...I had to research on 10 different types of bacteria seen in water!