Thanks to everyone who's been reading. I can say with some reasonable amount of confidence that this story won't turn into anything you've read to date. Relax; it'll be a good ride.
My nights turned treacherous; my days turned phantasmic. It was as if I was a zombie, someone who floated in and out of the waking world. I know it sounds like I'm making things up or even being melodramatic but it was that mind bending. I hadn't dreamt of Jude in ten years and every night, some part of our history was painting the back of my eyelids with all of its Technicolor glory. There were flashes of us in the studio or long sequences where I was chasing her down long corridors to only find myself back in my apartment, searching for her in the closet, under my bed, or in one of the useless rooms in my house. They were driving me mad but I couldn't find a remedy for such a malady. I took to staying awake as long as possible. Two days at first, later going on insomnia benders, sometimes making a game out of how many hours I could elude my ghosts.
It was only during those times when I was in the studio with Molly did I find some sort of reprieve. Just as Jude haunted me at night, Molly haunted me during the day. Her juvenescent laughter could fill a small room at the drop of a silly joke and with it came a chance to breathe. I could tell that some time into our stint as artist and producer she became worried about my condition. I went about my normal morning routines - shower, shave, casual button downs with the vintage t-shirts I once wore alone, doppio espresso from the corner coffee shop down the street from my place - but the dark circles under my eyes and the weary expressions I came in with couldn't escape her discerning eye. As much as I had my set habits, she became a new one, her and her question of, "How are you this morning, Tommy?" I couldn't help but smile. I know she really wondered about me and my well-being; I knew she cared.
So when I walked into my office early one Monday and found her sprawled out in one of the chairs, half asleep, I wasn't really surprised. She'd taken to coming in when the other sound techs came in to get started on whatever it is we'd decided the day before. She turned around as the door close behind me, me throwing my coat over an empty chair and her grabbing the loose pieces of paper from my desk.
"Hey," she stood and followed behind me as I took a seat at my desk. "I want you to look over these. I may have something." She thrust the sheets in front of my face, anticipation growing with each second that passed and I didn't offer to take them from her.
"Give me a minute," I groaned.
She gave me a look, walking back to her seat and sitting down, hands over her lean stomach.
"How are you today, Tommy?"
I rubbed my brow and then my jaw, counting the time I'd last seen my bed. I had to have been up for a good four days, maybe longer. After the second day of repeating the same words and concepts over and over in your head to keep yourself awake, you tend to forget when you begin over-analyzing microphone types and how to combine them to form new sounds. I sipped poignantly at my espresso turned to flat ice, sighing.
"Honestly? I'm tired. I should probably be asleep rather than working," As if my body was in step with my words, I yawned, blinking heavily, pushing back the fatigue that was coming at me faster and faster.
"Me too. The place I stay was pretty loud last night. People just wouldn't shut up and by the time they did, it was already 5am. I never went to sleep." She eyed me keenly. "And by the looks of it, neither did you."
I shrugged. "Do I ever sleep? You know," I looked over the desk top, noting all of the random things I was going to have to do on top of working with Molly. "Why don't we work outside of the studio today? I haven't done that in a very long time."
Her face changed from lethargic to excitement at that. "I have an idea about what we can do." She grinned slyly, grabbing her bag from the floor, shoving in her papers, and holding out her hand. I stared at it, tiny and pale, before taking hold. "I promise; it'll be great."
Nine hours, twenty dollars, and numerous pieces of notebook paper later, we'd effectively hit every stop on the Montreal Metro. When she'd suggested that we go to all of the random subway stations just to ride around and take in the scenes, I thought it was both strange and interesting. The first few stops, I didn't really bother to pay much attention, let alone get into it, but her enthusiasm for the different stops' architecture and artwork began to wear down my reserves. Soon, I was the one pointing to quirky things here and there. For the time, I forgot about my dreams of Jude and the fact that I hadn't had a good night's sleep in weeks.
Stepping onto the platform of her last stop before parting ways seemed bittersweet. I wasn't up to going home to battle whatever mental demons decided they wanted to play. I liked having her as a diversion. I draped an arm around Molly's shoulders, leading her to the escalator.
"We should really do that more often. I've never written so much in my life!" She walked around the lobby leisurely before stopping and turning to me. "I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"
"Tomorrow, definitely. Want me to walk you home?" She looked at the exit, shaking her head.
"No, I think I can make it there alright." Without warning, she hugged me tightly. Caught off guard, I tentatively hugged her back before letting myself relax into it. She pulled away slowly, smiling broadly and walking backwards. "See you tomorrow, Tommy… and get some sleep before then."