Disclaimer: I own only my ideas and nothing directly related to Degrassi...
"I have to admit that I was a little surprised to get a phone call from you," Jay commented. "Is everything okay?"
Emma took a deep breath. "Manny is getting married."
Jay smirked. "I know. To Isaacs."
"How do you know that?"
"I get around, Nelson. Meghan told me," he finished.
Emma shifted in her chair, her discomfort showing to Jay, who hated seeing her squirm this way. "Meghan?"
"My girlfriend. Her and Manny actually work together. Didn't she tell you that?" Jay asked.
"No," Emma admitted. "I guess she forgot. Anyway, I just... I just wanted to... I'm sorry. You know what? I shouldn't be here."
Jay watched Emma get up from the table, her cheeks flaming, and leave the restaurant. He felt like his heart was going to explode having to see Emma suffer like this. She had called him. That was progress, wasn't it? Manny wouldn't get totally upset over him following her to make sure she was okay, would she?
Jay shook his head, following Emma out of the restaurant. He caught up to her at her car, as she rummaged around in her purse, searching for her car keys. He bowed his head as Emma found the keys, dropping them on the ground in front of the driver's side door.
"I got 'em," Jay said, bending to one knee to scoop up Emma's keys.
She turned around, Jay down on one knee in front of her. "This is oddly familiar," she smiled.
Jay noticed then that she had tears in her eyes. He rose to both feet, handing Emma her keys and brushing away a tear with his thumb. "Sorry for the replay of the past."
Emma pursed her lips, trying to compose herself. "Oh you mean, the day I made the biggest mistake of my life?"
Jay's breath caught. Had she just said what he thought she'd said? "What?"
"You heard me, Hogart. I made a mistake."
"How?" he pushed, needing to be sure.
"By telling you that I didn't want to marry you. Okay? Are you happy now? I, Emma Nelson, should have said yes to your proposal. I missed the boat and now I'm filled with nothing but regret. Happy?" she yelled.
Jay found himself pulling Emma into his arms, hugging her fiercely. "Leave the regret at the door, Nelson."
Emma pulled away. "I know that I made a mistake, but I can't expect you to just wait around for me to get my shit together. I'm messed up, maybe beyond help."
Jay took the keys from Emma's hand, unlocked her door, opening it for her. When she was safely inside, wondering why Jay was pushing her away like this, she realized that he was getting into the passenger side. He sat there, staring at the dashboard, his silence frightening.
"Why did you want to meet?" he asked quietly.
"I needed to see you."
He turned his head to look at her. "Why?"
Emma paused. This was like deja vu all over again. Once again, here she was fighting for an unavailable man.
FLASHBACK
"Emma I can't do this! I'm getting married in less than a month!"
Emma pressed her body against Sean's, still feeling the pressure of his lips on hers from just moments earlier. "That kiss would suggest otherwise."
Sean pushed her away. "It was a mistake. One that I don't intend to make again. You should go."
Emma stepped back toward him, not yet willing to give up on this when she had made progress. "I think that you don't really want that. Why fight it, Sean? If you want something, you should just go for it, don't you think?"
Sean took hold of her wrists, holding them loosely. "That's what I'm doing. I love Ellie, Emma. I love her and I'm going to marry her. So, once again, you should go."
Emma's cheeks flamed instantly, her embarrassment taking over her entire body. She tore her arms out of Sean's grasp, dropping her arms to her sides, defeated. With her shoulders slumped, tears streaming down her red cheeks, Emma turned and walked away from Sean, realizing with every step just how pathetic she really was.
END OF FLASHBACK
Emma knew, after that awful memory, that she couldn't do this again.
"It doesn't matter," she whispered, smiling slightly.
Jay put a hand on hers. "It matters to me."
Emma looked up, seeing sincerity in his eyes and wanting to believe that anything was possible. But this wasn't the way she wanted to start a relationship; breaking someone up. It hadn't worked with Sean and it probably wouldn't work with Jay.
"I should go."
"Not before we get this all straightened out. I want to know why you called me," Jay pushed.
Emma took a deep breath. "You're with Meghan."
"Forget about Meghan for a second," Jay said firmly. "Did you phoning me have anything to do with Manny getting married?"
Emma lowered her head. "It's just that Manny kind of had a point, you know. Sometimes we find happiness with the least expected person. I mean, who would have guessed that Manny would ever marry Toby, but she seems really happy and in love."
"And you?" Jay pushed.
She looked up at him, her eyes a mixture of vulnerability and hope. "I've spent so many years determined to be miserable because I thought I wanted Sean."
"And now?"
"Now I realize that I don't want him. I want what he has."
Jay smirked. "So it's Red you want."
Emma rolled her eyes, opening her mouth to tell Jay to get serious. Before the words could escape her lips, Jay grabbed the back of her neck with one of his hands, drawing her toward him, kissing her fully on the lips.
But Emma knew that getting carried away by a kiss wouldn't solve this dilemma. She pushed on Jay's chest, sending him back to his own side of the car. His lips, red and full, formed a scowl.
"What?" he asked.
"As much as I want this, I can't. You have a girlfriend and I don't want to be the other woman. I want you. Yes, I do. It's taken my so long to admit that, but it's true. I miss having you around and I should have said yes when you asked me to marry you. But you moved on. And so you should. I'm sure that you and Meghan will be very happy together," Emma explained.
Jay grit his teeth. This was not going to be pretty. "There is no Meghan."
Emma looked at him. "I'm sure she'd think that wasn't very fair."
Jay shook his head. He growled slightly. "Meghan is some girl that works with Manny. I fixed her car for free and she agreed to pretend to be my girlfriend."
Emma's eyes narrowed. "Why would you do that?"
"Because I had to do something to show you what a huge mistake you were making! I asked you to marry me, Emma. Not because I felt obligated to or felt sorry for you. I asked you because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you! So how could I just turn away and try to forget about you?" Jay confessed.
Emma tried to process everything Jay was saying, but she was still stuck on the fact that Jay had lied to her, had manipulated her, had used her for his own advantage. Her hand met his cheek before she even knew what was happening.
Jay sat, stunned, his cheek holding the print of Emma's small, but mighty hand. "What was that for?"
"This!" Emma screamed. She pointed at him. "This is exactly why I tried to push you away in the first place! Because I can't trust you! I should have trusted my own instincts! You haven't changed at all! You're still the same selfish, self-serving ass you were in high school!"
Jay nodded his head in agreement. "If that's how you see it..."
"How I see it? What other way can it be seen?" she asked in disbelief.
"Oh I don't know. You could see it for what it really is. Just another reason for you to back out of committing yourself to anyone other than Sean Cameron!" Jay shouted.
His loud voice, in the confines of her small car, made the environment tense at best. Emma pushed her body against the driver's side window, shrinking back from Jay, who was obviously angry.
"This has nothing to do with Sean," Emma said quietly. "It has to do with you trying to manipulate my emotions so that I'll agree to be with you."
Jay shook his head, looking away as he confessed, "I don't know when it was that I fell in love with you, Emma. I'm pretty sure it was right away though. And I know that we wouldn't even be in this situation if I'd just been okay with a relationship in the first place. But I thought that you were too in love with Sean and I guess, in a sick sort of way, I was just trying to protect myself from falling in love with someone who wouldn't be able to feel that way about me."
Jay took a deep, but shaky breath. He expelled all of the air from his lungs until they hurt. He turned his head slowly and looked at Emma. "But how on Earth could anyone spend any time with you and not fall in love?"
Emma felt the warm, wet tears on her cheeks before she even knew that she was crying. She smiled at Jay through her tears. In a shaky, uncertain voice, Emma took Jay's hand in her own, kissing its palm softly. "I need you to know that I do love you. You. Not Sean. But I also need you to know why I pushed you away. Can I share that with you?"
Jay's lips formed into a smirk, his signature move, the gesture that Emma loved. "Don't take too long, okay? I'm dying to kiss you again and this time, it better not end in you slapping me."
Enjoy!