I own nothing.

Life for One

Chapter 3

at the turmoil in Stephanie's eyes. I squeezed her foot with my hand as I felt myself shift into lock down mode.

"Call me if you need anything."

She nodded as unshed tears glistened in her eyes.

I glanced at Morelli and his eyes glinted with anger.

"Take care of her." I said.

"Is that a warning Manoso?"

"Joe!" Stephanie hissed.

I wanted to put my fist through his face more than once in the past, but never as much as I wanted to right now.

I looked back at Stephanie.

"Take care Babe."

I turned and walked away.

I slid inside the SUV and took the first real breath since I heard the news. I leaned back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

This was so fucked up.

I felt the pent up anger boiling in my gut. I reached down, turned the keys in the ignition, and heard the engine turn over. I put the car in gear and wrapped my fingers around the steering wheel. I drove six blocks before I noticed that my knuckles were white where I gripped the wheel. I slowly relaxed as I pulled into the Rangeman garage. I wanted to demolish something. I wanted to beat someone into pulp, and let him beat me in return. Maybe in the process I would forgive myself for not giving us a chance.

If I was honest with myself, I knew that forgiveness would be a long time in coming.

The sweat stung as it dripped into my eyes, my shoulders, and arms were aching. I felt tired enough to drop, but I still jabbed at the bag. I heard the door to the gym open and I never looked up. I knew it was Tank, I had been expecting him. I never let up on the bag. He walked over and leaned up against the wall a few feet away.

"Ram says you been at this for hours, you want to talk about it?"

I continued to pummel the bag without acknowledging his question. I almost fell flat on my face when he grabbed the bag as I fired a jab. I stopped and bent over at the waist sucking in air, the sweat dripping from my face onto the mat. I caught my breath and walked over to the bench in the corner I sat down and wiped my face with a towel. Tank was standing in front of me his arms crossed on his chest.

"Is this about Stephanie?"

I ignored him, stood and walked toward the door. He grabbed me by the shoulder and I turned and punched him in the face. His head recoiled and I watched as he wiped the blood from his mouth.

"Feel better?"

"Put on some gloves, spar with me, then maybe I'll feel better."

"What the hell crawled up your ass? You leave to go check on Stephanie and never call or show up back at the Redmond's."

"I left word with the control room if you called."

In the past, I used work to distract my mind. Right now, I wanted to be anywhere but in Trenton, but no matter how long I remained out of touch the same circumstances would be here when I decided to return.

"You can handle the Redmond job alone."

He stepped toward me.

"You want to tell me what happened today to make you take a half of a day off and spend it beating the shit out of a punching bag."

I turned and walked toward the door as I glanced over my shoulder.

"I'll call you tomorrow. I'm going to be offline the next couple of days. I need you to take care of business while I'm away."

I walked into the lobby of Rangeman Boston. The receptionist behind the desk smiled as her eyes met mine.

"Good Morning Mr. Manoso. Mr. Morgan is expecting you."

I nodded and entered the office. I saw my long time friend and partner sitting behind the massive desk that over looked the Boston skyline. He smiled as he finished a phone conversation and disconnected.

He stood, walked over to me, and shook my hand.

"Ranger how are you man?"

"Travis you look like your handling business."

"More every day, but that's the way we want it."

I smiled. "Absolutely."

I had served in the Rangers with Travis for six years. He was honest and dependable except when it came to the female population of the world.

He motioned for me to take a seat as he leaned his hip against the perfect mahogany wood of the desk.

"What brings you to Boston?"

"I am curious to know if you still want a transfer."

"Hell yeah, just say the word and I'll be on the first plane to Miami."

Travis had requested a transfer to Miami four years ago, he was born and raised in the south, and his family still resided there.

"I don't have an opening in Miami."

He gave me a questioning look. "Then I'm afraid I don't follow you."

"I'm thinking about leaving Trenton. I'll need a replacement."

He looked at me as if I had grown another head.

"You can't be serious man. You know how I feel about Trenton; it's the armpit of America. Where the hell are you going?"

"Either I'll take over here or do government work full time."

"Can I ask why you're leaving Trenton?"

"Need a change of scenery."

He gave me a cold stare.

"Bull fucking shit."

"Tank won't want the responsibility of taking over the Trenton office, so I'll need a replacement."

"Well it ain't going to be me, I can tell you that straight up. I bet Tank hasn't even a clue that you're here."

"No use in telling him something until I have definite plans in place."

I knew I was playing with fire where Tank was concerned. He wouldn't want the responsibility of the Trenton office but he would be mad as hell if it weren't offered to him first. The entire move on my part would piss him off, but the only reason I had stayed in Trenton as long as I had was because of Stephanie, and she was now carrying another man's child.

"Level with me. The only reason a man makes a major move in his life is if he broke the law or scorned a woman, with you it could be either, but since I haven't heard any word of you fucking up a hit, I'd say it's a woman."

I leaned back in the leather club chair and gave him a blank stare.

"Like I said it's nothing personal."

"Wait a minute. The last time I talked to Les he said you had half your crew running around Trenton after some ditzy female bounty hunter, is this about her?"

I made a mental note to put Santos on shit duty for the next six months.

"We've talked about this in the past; I've wanted a change for a while."

I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't buying it.

"Ranger it's been over three years since you've even mentioned leaving Trenton. So you can spare me the details but just be straight with me, you know I will go to my grave before I'd share a confidence."

I blew out a breath and walked over to the large window over looking the skyline.

"It's about the bounty hunter."

"So what could be so bad that you need to leave Trenton to get away from her?"

Everything.

"She's pregnant."

"You're an asshole."

I turned and looked at him.

"The baby is not mine."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I haven't been with her in over a year."

He slid off the edge of the desk and walked over to me.

"So let me get this straight. The girl your in love with is pregnant, it's not your baby, but you're leaving town anyway?"

"I want to give her a chance to make it work with the guy she's with."

"And she can't do that with you in Trenton?"

"It's complicated."

"You don't trust yourself to leave her alone."

Travis was like a brother, he always had the ability to read me like a book. I knew I was here for a lot more than just asking him to transfer to Trenton. I wanted to make some kind of sense out of my fucked up life.

"I have taken care of her since the minute I met her, but it's not my place to take care of her anymore. I don't want to interfere."

"Is it you or her that you don't trust?"

"Both."

"So is this guy she's with a reliable dude?"

"He's an asshole, but he'll take care of her."

"Well then my man, you step out of the picture and get on with your life. I still don't understand why you feel you can't live in the same town. Just explain to her that things have to change between you two."

"If I'm not living in Trenton she can't rely on me."

He looked at me and smiled.

"You've never told her no, you want to leave town because you don't want to let her down."

Three weeks Later

I slipped the pick out of the lock as the door silently swung open. The lights in her apartment were off and I could hear the low volume of the television. I stepped into the living room and saw a blanket wadded up on the couch but she wasn't there. I could hear sounds coming from the direction of the bathroom. I made my way down the hall and stopped when I heard her retching. I stood in the doorway and saw her kneeling in the floor by the commode holding onto the bowl, her knuckles as white as her face. I wet the hand towel hanging by the sink and lifted the hair from the back of her neck, I placed the cool towel there and she looked up at me with a sheepish grin.

"Thanks, don't you ever knock?"

I smiled as the sight of her tugged at my heart.

"I don't think you would have been able to answer, good thing I invited myself in."

She slowly stood and I wrapped my arm around her waist.

She looked up at me. "I need to brush my teeth."

I reached over and grabbed her toothbrush from the holder on the sink. I smiled when I saw my toothbrush that I used when I stayed with her was still in the holder. I applied toothpaste to the bristles and handed it to her.

"Have you held down any food today?"

"I ate this morning, it's weird I have been getting sick in the evening."

"You hungry?"

"No." she said adamantly.

"I'll be in the kitchen."

She nodded and I went in the kitchen to look for crackers. I found some saltines and some Seven Up in the fridge. At least she had the cure.

I was waiting on the couch when she came back. She looked at the crackers and Seven Up and smiled.

"Guess you've been through this before."

"Yeah I have."

She sat down next to me and chewed on a saltine.

"I haven't seen you around, you been out of town?" She asked.

"Some, mostly just busy."

"So are you here to say goodbye?"

I felt like she sucker punched me in the gut. I looked over at her.

"Tank told Lula that you're transferring to Boston in a couple of weeks."

Tank was a dead man.

"It's not written in stone yet."

"You'll be missed around here if you go."

I heard the genuine sadness in her voice and accepted the realization that it could all have played out differently if I had just let it happen.

"So are you and Morelli getting married?"

She sighed and started picking at the lint on the blanket across her lap.

"He thinks the baby is yours."

"So he doesn't believe you?"

"He thinks because I've always used protection that it can't be his."

Unfuckingbeliveable.

"So are you trying to work it out?"

"I'm not going to work it out with him."

I looked at her in disbelief.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not going to compound a mistake by making another one. I'm never going to marry him."

"Babe you can't raise a baby alone, it needs its father."

She glanced at me.

"It takes more than getting someone pregnant to be a father, he doesn't want this baby, and if he did he would be here right now instead of making excuses for why it can't be his."

"You need to work it out, for the baby."

"I can't spend the rest of my life with him."

"He's a decent man."

"Yes he is, but we broke up two days before I found out I was pregnant."

Shit. It just gets better and better.

"What happened?"

We had an argument about my feelings for you, he told me he thought I was in love with you and he was tired of trying to live up to you in my eyes. I told him I needed a break."

I stared at the television trying to figure out how much more fucked up this could become.

"Babe…"

"Ranger I love you, I think I've always loved you. I know that you probably don't want to hear that but maybe it explains why I can't be with Joe."

I closed my eyes and thought of all the times I wanted those words to come from her mouth. Life had a way of twisting fate.

I slipped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her to me. She buried her face in my chest and cried. I sat there and listened to her sob thinking what a complete mess I had made of her life, all because I was a selfish ass.

She pulled away from me and I brushed away her tears.

"I'm sorry Babe that I screwed up, it shouldn't be like this."

"You didn't screw up anything. I stayed with him because I didn't want to be alone. It was easy to be with him."

I felt my cell vibrate on my hip; I answered and swore under my breath when it was Mr. Redmond asking for a meeting about the security for his home. I flipped the phone closed and looked at her.

"Steph I have to go."

She nodded.

I reached over and brushed a curl behind her ear. She looked at me.

"Babe this will work out, I promise if he doesn't stand by you I'll be here."

"Ranger it's not your place, he would never stand for you raising his child. He'll come around and somehow it will work out in the end."

"I'll be back and forth between here and Boston for a while; I won't be there permanently for another couple of months. I'll be in touch."

I stood and walked to the door, I turned and looked at her standing in the hallway and I broke.

I slammed the door and walked over to her and pulled her into my arms, I lowered my mouth to hers and kissed her with all the frustration and feelings I had swallowed for the past three weeks. She clawed at the front of my shirt pulling me closer like I was as vital as the air she breathed. I pulled away my breathing ragged and rested my forehead on hers.

"Promise me you'll call if you need me."

I brushed a tear from her cheek and walked out the door.