Dedicated to the delightful people who keep saying such lovely things about my scratchings, so in no particular order, I have the following to thank: mrs-stuart-turner, Gem6, theBillNut, DanielleE, Deliah07 and DebraRocks. I should also mention the incomparable Doug Rao (Stuart Turner), and equally brilliant Sally Rogers (Jo Masters) for being amazingly good actors in the first place. And finally, Billy Joel, for the longest time, which is still rattling around in my brain...

She sat up in bed, and tried to make sense of last night. They'd fallen into a routine, Jo would go home with Stuart and Mai, and help him cook dinner, get Mai bathed, hair brushed and into bed, followed by the obligatory bedtime story, then somehow they'd wind up sleeping in the same bed together. It had been all very well while Stuart's right arm was in a cast, they could maintain a pretence of some kind of neutrality, but the cast had been taken off Stuart's arm almost two weeks ago. Since then, she'd been on tenterhooks, waiting for him to pounce.

He hadn't. He withdrawn slightly and waited. Which confused her. He still wanted her, wanted more than the several fairly chaste kisses that they'd shared. She knew that. He seemed to be waiting for something. What that something might have been she wasn't sure, but then things had changed subtly yet again.

Last night. He'd slid his hand into her hair, and kissed her as he had the other nights, she'd leaned closer, and deepened the kiss, slowly his other hand had slid round her waist and pulled her closer. She had wanted more, and her hands had gently explored his body, watching the change come over his face as her fingernails had found sensitive spots. His hands were returning the compliment, and the evening had slipped out of focus.

So she sat up in bed, he was still next to her, face down, totally relaxed, one hand resting on her thigh. For a moment she felt almost angry, how can he be so relaxed, so calm, when I'm so confused. And she was confused, she had made long, slow, infinitely tender and gentle love WITH Stuart Turner. That they had both wanted to made not the slightest difference to her confusion.

She took the opportunity to study him, the long line of his back, the tanned olive skin, his modesty barely preserved by the white sheet which was caught under his body, handsome, athletic Latin Lover Boy, well that last wasn't quite right, Stuart was no boy. So where do we go from here?

He shifted, and his hand slid up her thigh, and he gathered her closer, and kissed her naked hip.

"Stuart."

"Mmmmhh"

"Stuart." she almost snapped.

His eyes opened and he sat up.

"What."

Jo spread her hands wide. "I truly don't know what. But I know I can't change. And I'm scared that you want more than I can give." There it was out. She had to say it.

"And that means" he sounded wary.

"Stuart." she put her hands up to his face, and looked into his eyes, "what do you want from me?"

He took a deep breath, it's now or never, "you. I know I can't have all of you. But I want whatever I can have."

"You can't change me." Jo suddenly felt desperate, they were at a point of no return, their friendship hung in the balance.

"I don't want to. You wouldn't be you if you were different." he felt shaky, he was fighting for everything he wanted, he'd waited until he was certain, because he knew that the landslide change would carry them past the point of no return, they'd burned the bridge down, now he could win or lose. He so badly wanted to win. More than anything he'd ever fought for or over in his entire life. "I'll be satisfied with whatever you feel you can give. Because I want to keep us together."

"This isn't because of Mai?" suddenly suspicious.

"No... yes, partly..." he couldn't lie, not to Jo. "But not like how you're thinking." he was pleading, he couldn't lose her. Say it Stuart, or you'll lose her.

He took a deep breath, the suspicion was still in her eyes, and he could sense her withdrawal. All or nothing.

"Jo, I love you."

Silence.

"I knew last year, when you were in the hands of the mad woman, Rachel Inns, I was so scared.," he was babbling, he knew it, "I tried to convince myself that we were just colleagues, I even told that CSE Hart that you were just a colleague, that I didn't do the work buddy thing, but it wasn't true. I was sitting there lying my heart out, because I couldn't face the truth, that I loved you then, and I love you now..." he trailed off, her face hadn't changed, his eyes blurred.

"Oh Stuart." her hands slid back round his neck, and she pulled him close. "Oh hun." her voice sounded shaky, and something very like hope darted through him, he put his arms tight around her, and pulled her back onto his lap, holding her close.

"I don't know where we're going. I don't even know if this is right or wrong, but Jo, I need you, and this is me, not Mai." tears were running freely down his cheeks, and to his surprise, Jo seemed to be crying too. "Of course, I had to find someone that Mai wouldn't bite.." tried to make a joke, and was rewarded by Jo's beautiful smile.