A/n hey all, thanks so much for all your kind reviews. They make me smile and sometimes laugh, which is great.
Disclaimer: see the first chapter
When my eyes opened, my head felt fuzzy and I couldn't focus on anything. My mouth felt really dry and I tried to turn over, but my limbs felt leaden. There was something very wrong because I couldn't remember what had happened after Spencer gave me the tea the night before or whenever it had been. Had days gone by, or was it one night?
"Spencer…" I tried to say but my tongue was too thick.
"He's not here Agent Ryan." A man's voice said. It was an angry man's voice and one that I didn't recognize.
Someone walked around the bed I was lying face down on and crouched in front of my face. He was black and great looking with intense dark eyes that dared me to lie to him. I recognized him from my surveillance tapes. It was Agent Derek Morgan. He didn't look happy at all.
"Where is Spencer," I repeated. My tongue felt as though it weighed twice what it should.
The dark eyes of the man in front of me weren't innocent, nor were they guileless like Spencer. They were cold, and angry, and I shrank back from them.
"He isn't here," Agent Morgan said. "He's with the rest of our team."
Agent Morgan drew back and stood up to walk around the bed. My eyes were getting better and I could see that I wasn't in Spencer's apartment anymore. The window was in a different place. The walls were an ugly beige color and brick in construction. I turned over onto my back and looked at the ceiling that was cream colored and textured like cottage cheese. The bed was a full sized bed with a light brown blanket. I was lying on top of it and from what I could see of myself, I was fully clothed.
"I don't understand… How did I get here? I feel so sick. What happened to me?"
'You were sedated." Morgan said.
"What do you mean…? I was sedated. How did that happen? Where am I?"
"You ask a lot of questions for someone that's in no position to be demanding."
He moved over to the side of the bed and stood staring down at me. He looked very tall and little tremors of fear were beginning to make me shake. I tried to sit up, but I was too dizzy.
"I'm not demanding. I think I have the right to know why I'm in this place, being interrogated by you."
I tried to sound as brave as I could, but his eyes were blazing into me. He must have found me wanting because he turned away and went to the window, where weak sunlight was entering the room and shining on the beige carpet.
"You lost your rights when you tried to set up my friend. The only reason we didn't let them kill you is because you did the right thing and came clean to Reid. I wanted to bring Reid in and let you deal with those people you work for." He said the word "people" as though it left a bad taste in his mouth.
I didn't know what to say. Morgan was right about me and there was no use in denying it. "Why didn't you?"
"Because my man loves you, he wasn't supposed to fall for you, but he did."
He suddenly wheeled around and strode over to me. He reached out and pulled me into a sitting position and shook me like a small kitten. "Did you mean it when you said you were falling for him? I hope for your sake that you weren't lying! "
The tears that I had been trying to hold back began to fall and blurred my vision. A voice said from behind Morgan in an annoyed tone.
"Morgan… that's enough…"
I wiped at my eyes when he released me and turned to confront the man I recognized as Agent Aaron Hotchner.
"Hotch…" Agent Morgan began to say, but Agent Hotchner tipped his head in the direction of the door.
Morgan strode out the room I was in and I heard a door slam from the other room. "I… I'm sorry I don't know who you -" I started to say.
"Don't lie to me and say you don't know me, Agent Ryan."
His eyes were ice cold and they scared me more than Agent Morgan's had. This was no man to toy with. I bowed my head because I couldn't look into his eyes.
"My name is Amy Ryan. I'm an agent -"
"I know who you are and what your assignment is."
He sat on the edge of the bed and put a hand on my arm. The touch was gentler than I expected and I started to cry again.
"We have someone on the inside of your organization. We knew the minute Dr. Reid was targeted. He's known all along what you were after."
I was stunned at this revelation. I looked up and saw that the icy anger was gone from Agent Hotchner's eyes and he only looked at me with pity, which was worse somehow.
I was sobbing again when Hotch put an arm around my shoulders. Then I began to feel angrier than I've ever felt in my life. I yanked away from Agent Hotchner and tried to get off the bed. I was dizzy, but I stepped away from him.
"You've known all along and you let me think that I was…"
"I would be very careful in what you say Amy… You bugged my agent's apartment and followed him around for weeks before you made your move. You tried to seduce him and make him fall for you hoping that he would join your organization to make you happy. You had no problem putting him in grave danger. If you hadn't confessed when you did, your people would have killed you both.
Now… we have to figure out what to do. Until we do, you and Agent Reid are going into protective custody. You'll stay here at Quantico until tomorrow and them you both have to be moved. It isn't safe for you to stay here."
"Can I see Spencer? I want to talk to him."
"I'll leave that up to him." Hotch said. He left the room. I decided that instead of moping around, and feeling sorry for myself, I would explore where I was going to be staying for the next day.
I went through the door and found a small living room. The couch was plastic and a hideous red color. It was torn on one side and there was a battered wooden coffee table sitting forlornly in front of it. There was a small picture book on one corner. A matching red plastic easy chair sat across the room.
At one end of the room I could see a small kitchen with chipped Formica counter tops and tiled floor. Everything was in yellow and it was hideous. There was a coffee maker and a microwave. The stove was clean, but scratched and chipped like everything else.
"I guess the budget for witness protection must be pretty bad." I said to myself.
"Just like all Federal funding." A familiar voice said from behind me.
I turned around and saw Spencer standing there. I wanted to run into his arms, but they were crossed over his chest and he looked at me as though I were a stranger.
"Hello Spencer…" I said, feeling my throat getting very tight.
"I don't think we've been properly introduced." He said tightly.
"My name…" I had to swallow back a sob. "My name is Amy Ryan…"
"I know… Garcia told me." He said briefly.
The anger was back and it made my stomach hurt as I looked at him. "Don't get "holier than thou," Spencer Reid. You knew all along what I was up to and you never said anything!"
"We couldn't risk it! You know better than anyone how dangerous they are. What I can't understand is why you're working for them."
"I guess a person has to be perfect to be good enough for you!" I was shouting, but couldn't stop myself. "I'm trying to do what is best for my country and its security. I guess my job isn't as important as you think your job is."
"That's not what I'm saying and you know it. Can't you understand that what these people are doing is wrong? "
"Spencer they only want you to work for them because of all your experience here. They need someone to work on their security plans for the country. They need someone that is smart and can profile terrorists for them."
I noticed that he was looking at me in a very curious way. "What is it?" I demanded, feeling a bit stupid.
"You don't know… Do you?" He asked, and there was wondrous disbelief in his voice.
"Know what…"
Spencer crossed the room and grabbed me up in his arms. "You really don't know, do you?"
"Will you please explain yourself to me?"
"You really think their intentions for me are honorable." He was looking at me like I was the most naïve person on the planet.
"I know that the people I work for are not innocent. I've never hurt anyone in my job. I've always tried to do what I think is best." I countered.
Reid's eyes didn't give up anything. "All I know is that we have to find away to get past all of this."
"I know that… Spencer… Please believe me. I never wanted anything to happen to you." I untangled myself from his arms and took one of his hands in mine. "I fell in love with you, Spencer Reid. I threw away all of the things the agency and my abusive family taught me about being cold and heartless when I saw you for the first time."
"Amy…"
"Please let me finish. You saved me Spencer. It doesn't matter what happens to me now!"
"It does matter…" He said quietly and fiercely. His hands were trembling; He took my face in his hands and kissed me. My knees started to give out, but he held me close in his arms.
"I love you Amy…" He whispered after breaking off that incredible kiss. I don't want to, but I do. I can't change that anymore then I can the course of the sun in the sky. I don't know how to fix this, but we will, somehow."
Time seemed to slow down and speed at the same time. His hands ran over my back and I was shivering. His mouth found a spot on my neck and attached to it. I almost slapped him when he pulled away and began to laugh.
"What is so funny," I demanded.
"You were making a growling noise like a little kitten that's hissing at a mouse. It was funny!"
"Oh really… well… What if I just go in my room and shut the door? What will you do then…?"
"Don't test me…" He whispered and I started shaking again.
He was kissing me again, and his hands were working their way up under my shirt when my brain began to talk sense to me.
"Spencer… Wait…" I pushed him away and went to the couch. "I can't do this!"
"Amy…" Spencer sat next to me the warmth of body so close to mine was more then I could take.
"Please don't…"
"I've never felt this way about anyone. I should be so angry with you…" He'd put an arm around me and was speaking into my ear. His breath was making me gut ache with suppressed desire. "I tried to stay mad, but I couldn't do it. Remember… I'm not innocent in this. I know it wrong, but I don't care!"
"I know that Spencer, but this isn't right. As much as I want this I can't -"
While I was explaining all the reasons why this wasn't a good idea, Spencer was removing most of what I was wearing. The next thing I knew, I was back on the bed with Spencer hovering over me, telling me that it was all going to be okay.
--
When my eyes opened again he was still there, leaning on his elbow looking at me. "Hey…"
"Hey… yourself," I said back with a grin.
"What are we going to do?"
"I don't know… please don't go away. Don't let them separate us. Come with me to the safe house." I begged him.
He got up and began to dress. "I have to go. I've been here too long and the team needs to figure this out."
He left the little apartment and the reality of what had happened hit home suddenly. How was I going to get out of this one? Was there a way to stay together with Spencer? If God is out there I hope he's listening. I need help with this one.