It's time for ch-ch-ch-chapter two, boys and girls. Or as I like to call it, The One Where Zelda Flips a Shit and Wolf Starts a Rumor.
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Fox Has Fleas
Chapter II: Fushinba (The Plot Thickens)
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Those same turquoise eyes were now filled with tears in another part of the house. "I just… I can't believe what I just saw…"
Samus rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her blond hair. "Zelda, sweetie, I'm sure it's not what it looked like. I've known Fox for ages and, even though he might not seem like it all the time, he's straight as an arrow. And Link – He loves you very, very much."
"Well, he must only love me because I can turn into Sheik!" Zelda heaved between sobs.
"Honey, ju-just hold on for one second, ok?" Samus rushed out of the room, leaving the distressed princess to herself. "That girl is going to give me an ulcer one day I swear."
"What's wrong this time?" Peach asked.
"Apparently, she saw Link fucking Fox. Now, I don't believe that for one second but… She sure as hell does."
"Oh really?" A gray ear twitched in anticipation to hear more. The owner of said ear gave a nod at his companions in the hallway. "Ladies." In return, the wolf received glares. "Tough crowd."
"I do not believe," Samus said, barely containing her anger, "I was talking to you."
"But you forget, Fox and I go waaay back. You could almost call us… Friends." Samus raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. "Well, maybe not 'friends' but… Acquaintances. The point is, out of the lot of us, I'm the one with the most inside knowledge. Especially considering Mario forced me to room with him until an extra room gets built."
"What's your point?" Wolf smirked at the blond. "Wait. Are you trying to say that Fox, like, hit on you or something last night?"
Wolf howled with laughter. "Hardly, my dear Samus. Fox is far to chickenshit to admit that he's a fruit to himself, let alone to other people." The teal boot of the Zero Suit tapped on the floor. Samus was in no mood for any sort of guessing game. "Heh. Lemme put it this way; you don't get fleas from someone who's sleeping on your floor. No, you need to, uh, make closer contact in order to get bitten."
"Fleas!" Samus threw her hands up and scoffed. "That is the most ridiculous logic I have ever heard of! How do you even know he got those fleas from you, eh?"
Wolf picked something off of his arm between his claws and shoved the hand in Samus's face. "Now, tell me. What am I holding?"
"A-a flea."
"Exactly." Wolf crushed the creature between his claws and dropped it on the floor. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some work to do." The wolf stalked off without a glance behind him to see the damage he had done.
"Samus! I think he's right!" Nana said with a gasp.
"How else would Fox have gotten fleas?" Peach said chiming in.
"Oh for the love of- Fox is a… Fox! Any animal that has fur has fleas this time of year! That doesn't prove anything!"
"I don't think Fox has gotten fleas any year before now…" Peach said, more to herself than to Samus.
"W-well, even if Fox did get fleas from Wolf, it doesn't automatically mean that they had sex!"
"Wolf never said he and Fox had sex. He just said they were lying close to each other," Nana observed.
"I seriously doubt that Fox would spend the night spooning with someone who wanted to kill him not very long ago!" Samus shouted. "Ugh! You people are so… Gullible!" The woman in the Zero Suit stormed away, muttering to herself. Samus was going to get to the bottom of this, even if it was the last thing she ever did.
"Samus, wait!" Peach shouted down the hallway. "What're we supposed to do about Zelda?"
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Aaaaand cut!
Well, that was fun, ne? I feel so, so bad for Link, he's gonna get his ass kicked, for sure.
Next time:
"You want me to ask him what?" . . . "There's money in it for you" . . . "He mighta liked sleeping next to you a little too much."
Oh, I do love how I can keep people in suspense with these previews. God, I hope they're working.
Until next time…
Peace and out!