A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews! And to Jen, thanks for your input—I made the change!
12:32 PM
To: Malfoy
Oi! What's all this crap I'm hearing Malfoy? Creevey nearly bowled me over when he said something about you and pink hair. Why didn't you tell me you coloured your hair? Have you no consideration for my feelings? Maybe it crossed your mind that I would have wanted to see it too! Now all I have to go by is what other people say…word of mouth is too inaccurate.
You just deprived me of a year's worth of good laughs—but from what Harry told me, I'm laughing anyways!
From: Ron
12:33 PM
To: Scarface
I just heard from a reliable source that you were spreading unappealing rumours about me. For that, you'll wish that Voldemort really did kill you off.
Rest assured that you've now become the second person on my "People to Maim and Kill" list.
From: Malfoy
12:34 PM
To: Poufed-up Wanker
It has come to my knowledge that you are a pervert and have been taking innapropriate pictures of my individual whilst in the privacy of the loo. In the attaching documents, please find a restraining order issued by my attorneys. You are not to come within fifty metres of me.
From: Draco Malfoy
12:34 PM
To: The Maimer
Pfft! You don't scare me Malfoy! We all know you're soft deep, deep, deep (really deep!) down inside. Besides, why are you complaining? I remember you once boasted that all colours of the rainbow suited your complexion.
p.s. If I'm the second person on your list, then who's the first?
From: The Boy Who Definitely Lived
12:35 PM
To: Pothead
When I said that, I was referring to your muggle bowties! Who said I wanted disgusting pink hair?
p.s. Creevey.
From: The Annihilator
12:35 PM
To: Ron
Hey, here are the pictures that Creevey promised. Use them well, my friend.
From: Harry
12:36 PM
To: Harry
Thanks mate! I feel like Christmas came early.
From: Ron
12:36 PM
To: Hermione
I love you Hermione. The way you cursed that git's hair pink was absolutely amazing. Wished I could have been there to see his face though…wait, I CAN see his reaction. Harry sent me some copies of the pictures that Creevey took of Malfoy in the loo. I made extra copies for you.
Enjoy them, love!
From: Ron
12:36 PM
To: Weasley
You're just jealous that I still look better than you with pink hair—that atrocious red mop that you have, along with those unsightly freckles on your face are just plain hideous.
Oh, and I have just added you to my list of people to maim and kill.
From: Malfoy
12:37 PM
To: Ron
What was Creevey doing taking pictures of people in the loo? That's kind of creepy. And thanks for the copies! I think I might frame them!
From: Hermione
12:38 PM
To: Malfoy
I thought I was already on that list?
From: Ron
12:40 PM
To: Weasley
No, Weasley. You were on the "People I Dislike and Must Annoy" list.
From: Malfoy
12:43 PM
To: Malfoy
Really? I thought you wanted to maim me a long time ago…Wow, this day keeps getting better and better!
From: Ron
12:44 PM
To: Weasley
You are a moron.
From: Malfoy
1:07 PM
To: Granger
You fucking messed with the wrong man Granger. Be prepared for my wrath.
p.s. And whether I went to that meeting with pink hair or not is none of your business!
From: Malfoy
1:08 PM
To: Pompous Arsehole
No. YOU messed with the wrong woman Malfoy. I suggest you try to steer away from the business end of my wand, as I've learned quite a few handy hexes since the war. So don't tempt me with your wrath; you had it coming Malfoy, so it's fair and square now. You insulted me, and I hexed you. That's it. How about we put this whole debacle behind us, shall we?
From: H. Granger
1:08 PM
To: Mr. Ronald Weasley, Division of Magical Sports and Games
Thank you for your letter and enthusiasm for the Weekly Ministry Newsletter. We would be more than happy to insert your submission into this week's issue. A complementary issue will be sent to you this Friday morning on behalf of the writing staff.
We always enjoy having your input!
From: Parvati Patil, Editor of the Weekly Ministry Newsletter and Co-Editor of Witch Weekly
1:09 PM
To: Granger
Nice try Granger. I suggest that you still watch your back.
From: Malfoy
1:09 PM
To: Harry
It's done Harry! Watch for it this Friday!!
From: Ron-I-am-so-estactic!
1:10 PM
To: Ron
Excellent! Now, I think you owe me a little something for going through all that trouble of getting you those incriminating photos. Creevey is still very…clingy. shudders
From: Harry-you-know-what-I-want
1:12 PM
To: Harry
Anything mate! Just let me bask in the 'pink' glow of my happiness! Hehehe!
From: Ron
A/N: As always, all comments are welcomed.