WARNING: MAY BE TRIGGERING

Disclaimer: I do not own the Avalon: Web of Magic/Quest for Magic series or the song "Prayers". They belong to Rachel Roberts and In This Moment respectively.

You can find this song on YouTube by searching for "Prayers In This Moment". I've also realized that for some people, YouTube may not work on their computers, so if this is you, you can use the site projectplaylist .com. It works for most computers.

Breathing in and breathing out

My head leaned back my hands are tied

I stand in here, alone I scream, questions why

Days slip by and nights I taste

These memories run through my veins

Injecting me with one last kiss, screaming why

Adriane sleepily rolled over on her bed and glanced at her clock. Her dark eyes widened in alarm when the glowing red numbers glared the time 6:50. She had twenty minutes to get to the bus stop. As fast as she could, Adriane threw on a simple black long-sleeved shirt and jeans. As she pulled the jeans on, she noticed the three cuts on her leg. She'd made them last night, when she couldn't sleep, thinking about Willow and Luc and Janelle. Hence, the reason she'd woken up so late. By 7:08, the warrior reached the wrought-iron gate in front of Ravenswood and opened it just enough for her to slip through, slamming it closed when she was on the other side.

This medication can't save me

And desperation takes hold of me

I wanted to believe in all of this

I wanted to believe in you

Adriane laid her head down on her arm during Global, being careful of the still-sore scars. Four more periods, she thought to herself, watching the clock on the wall on the other side of the room intently.

"...Decline of the Roman civilization?"

The black-haired girl raised her head when she realized the teacher was asking her a question. "Uh-- Invasions?" She offered in a tiny voice that didn't sound like her at all. She could almost feel Emily's hazel eyes burning into her, trying to figure out what was going on.

The teacher nodded. "Germanic invasions," he added and finished his lesson with five minutes to spare. "Alright, everyone, hand in your homework from last night. You can talk."

"You didn't do it?" Emily asked from beside her when she didn't see her fellow mage hand the paper to the kid in front of her.

"No. I didn't have the time."

"What's wrong?"

Adriane resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Nothing. I just didn't sleep much last night." I had to listen to Lily and Pierre scream at each other until midnight about Pierre's never-ending drinking, and on top of that, couldn't get the thought of my parents' replacement kid out of my head.

Adriane knew the healer didn't buy her story, but was thankful her friend didn't press the issue.

All I am, all I have

Leads me down these roads again

Take my hand, show me the way

And never bring me back here

After fifth period, Adriane couldn't take it anymore. She asked to be excused from class to go to the bathroom. As she rounded the corner, she was glad she'd stuffed a razor in her bag, in case of emergency, although she'd never cut in school before. Her black messenger bag landed heavily on the tile floor, and the warrior pushed up her sleeve. After a quick, nervous glance at the door, she stared at her left forearm with a mixture of fascination and disgust.

Sore, red, recent cuts marred her arm in no particular pattern, Underneath them, pale pink scars, although hardly unnoticeable or fading, lie as older reminders. She had been cutting, or self-mutilating, as some "experts" on the internet called it, for about six weeks now.

Well, not just cutting. One time last week, she had rubbed sandpaper on her leg. It didn't make her bleed as much as cutting did, but it gave her the same calming feeling. Another time she had clipped barettes to her skin, seeing if she could get the same "natural high" without leaving marks, but it didn't work.

A sick feeling washed over her as she looked at her arm again. Instinctively, she reached in her bag and brought out her razor. Just having the instrument in her hand comforted her, but it wasn't enough. Just as she was about to bring the silver tool to her skin, she heard voices and footsteps outside the bathroom door. She jerked down her sleeve and bent down over her bag when the door opened, and who else but Kara and Heather walked in. When she was sure the blade was tucked safely in the bag, she stood up and tried to smile at the two girls, but her heart was beating too fast from that close call.

Determination, is pushing me

Perseverence, is what I bleed

I wanted to believe in all of this

I wanted to believe in you

She looks sick, Kara thought to herself as she smiled at the other mage as she left. It was true. Adriane had never been fat, but she had lost a significant amount of weight in the past few weeks. Now she was downright bony. Her normally tan skin was tinted gray, and she seemed nervous. Maybe Gran's illness was really scaring her friend. The blazing star made a mental note to herself to talk with her.

"Did you see her?" Heather asked in bewilderment. Kara nodded, wondering what was going on.

All I am, all I have

Leads me down these roads again

Take my hand, show me the way

And never bring me back here

These are my unanswered prayers

The time has come for me to say goodbye

God please hear me, calling

"Adriane!"

Kara knocked on the cottage door again. Upon hearing no reply (again), she ran up to the manor house library. The blonde opened the door to find Adriane curled up on one of the cushioned chairs, stroking Dreamer. She had on a black hoodie, making it impossible for Kara to see her face until she turned around.

"Hey," the warrior greeted.

"Dreamer," Kara adressed the mistwolf. He turned liquid emerald eyes on her. "Could you leave for a moment, please? I have to talk to Adriane."

The wolf looked from Kara to Adriane, then left. Kara made sure he was on his way down the stairwell before closing the door.

"What's this about?" Adriane asked.

"You tell me. What on earth is wrong with you?"

"What? What did I do?"

Kara mentally cursed herself. She hadn't meant to sound so mean. "Sorry. I just-- You seem really distant. And you look sick. Really sick."

The warrior laughed dryly and rolled her eyes. "Thanks," She muttered sarcastically.

"You know what I mean. What's wrong? You can tell me, we're friends now, remember? Friends talk to each other."

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh. Now tell me something that isn't a lie."

Adriane sank back down into the chair. "It's nothing you can help with, Kara. Really."

"You don't know that."

Suddenly, Adriane's eyes filled with rage. "What do you know?!" She screamed, tears threatening to spill.

"Adriane, calm down. Please," Kara pleaded, desperate to help her friend. "Let me help. At least tell me what's going on."

For some reason, for a fleeting moment, Adriane trusted Kara. And that fleeting moment was all that her tortured mind needed to pull up her sleeve and show Kara what she had done to herself. She watched the blazing star's face react to what she was showing her.

All I am, all I have

Leads me down these roads again

Take my hand, show me the way

And never bring me back here

These are my unanswered prayers

The time has come for me to say goodbye

God please hear me, calling

There you have it! The big Chapter 10. I have to say, I'm quite proud of this chapter. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please review!