Faith is a funny thing. One minute you trust someone completely, the next minute you're not sure what you believe. People always say 'keep the faith' and 'live the faith'. But trust me, it's easier said than done. Faith can REALLY confuse you. So when you lose faith is everything, what do you do?
As I sat at my computer on a webcam conference with my dad, everything I knew for 17 years, vanished. No more safety could be found in my father at that moment. My life was a lie. For 17 years I believed my mother was my mother, and that she died 10 years ago, but now my mother isn't my mother, my father isn't my father, and my life just got more confusing.
Signing out of the chat, with tears forming into my eyes I hear the ring tone, "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescene, and despite the tears, I had to smile hearing Nate's ring tone that we have for each other on our phones.
"Hey Nate"
"Hey Sawyer, what's wrong?"
"Fake mom is actually mom."
"Want to take a weekend trip?"
I had to smile, Nate always knew what to do to cheer me up.
"Sure, to where?"
"How about we just hop into the car and drive?"
"Sounds like a plan? See you in 15?"
"See ya Peyt."
I hung up and even though I was upset with my dad, I realize faith is a funny thing. You can't lose faith or else you have nothing to believe in. You can't give up on faith because then you are pretty much giving up on youtself.
Nate is a perfect example. Even though we hurt each other in the past, I never lost faith in him because he was there all the times I needed him. I believed in him, that he could become a better man, and he did just that with the help of Haley.
We have to trust each other.
We have to trust ourselves.
We have to be there for each other.
We have to follow our instincts and let go.
But in the end, we need faith, because as human beings we need something to hold on to.
And i'm glad right now I have my faith in Nate even if my faith in others isn't too good right now. Throwing one last hoodie in my bag and grabbing my cell, ipod, and sketchbook, I was out the door, locking it, and hopping in the car with Nate: Destination Unknown.