Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed and thanks for your patience over the two week break. I very much appreciate it. I am not sure how often I will be able to update during the next few weeks as it's near the end of the semester, but I will try to get at least another chapter up within that timeframe. Oh, and I think many of you were expecting something to happen at Summer's house, to that, all I can say is: Like I would be that nice. Heh.

Summer trudged into Marissa's kitchen extremely tired. She had gotten no sleep at all the night before. She was miserable. She was exhausted. And she was still fucking horny as hell. God damn Seth Cohen.

In the end, the night had ended rather anti-climactically. Summer wasn't that surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised. She had learned long ago that drunks couldn't be counted on for anything other than being drunk. The only real difficulty she had in dealing with Seth was guiding him into her house safely. Thankfully, he had been at least coherent enough to still walk.

It had been relatively easy to get Seth into bed. Not like she wanted, but that was probably for the best. He didn't struggle, didn't argue, and didn't even make one innuendo, which a sober Seth would certainly have done. She just pointed him in the right direction and he was so out of it at that point he collapsed on top of the bed without comment. She left him there. There was no way she was going to try and undress him, because she knew she wouldn't be able to handle it. Besides, she considered it an apt punishment, sleeping in his smelly clothes all night, for getting her so worked up. When she was satisfied that he was out, she had gone upstairs to her bedroom and promptly taken care of her own problem, or at least she tried to.

It was sad that she had a more powerful orgasm on her own, just thinking about Seth touching her, than she ever had with Nick. It wasn't Nick's fault, not really. She actually liked sex with Nick, which wasn't always the case with her partners. He was one of the better lovers she'd had throughout the years. Still, her boyfriend couldn't compete with all the issues surrounding the skinny freak downstairs. There was too much history there, too much unresolved sexual tension, even after all this time, for her not to get overly excited at the thought of him, especially the thought of him touching her.

It relaxed her at first and when she thought she was finally going to fall asleep, her mind would drift off, which was normal, but instead of thinking of school, or what she was going to wear tomorrow, or if that sale at South Coast was tomorrow or the day after, she would think about what Seth had told her about being unable to sleep at night. And then she would remember how it felt when he stroked the skin of her inner thigh, or when he cradled her breast in his hand like a precious piece of china, or the way he whispered her name into her ear as he moved inside of her, and she'd get turned on all over again. Rinse and repeat. This went on for hours and it was pure torture. After a while, it just got pointless because nothing was working, and she still wasn't feeling any less horny, and Seth was still downstairs, completely out of reach. She had to fight the urge multiple times to wake up Seth and make him solve her problem. It was easily one of the most miserable nights she'd had in recent memory.

It was like nothing had changed. She was still the same hormone-driven teenager, who for some ungodly reason that she still couldn't understand, found sex, or any intimate contact, with the biggest loser on the planet the most enjoyable and satisfying experience of her life. Summer had always enjoyed sex, especially once she started having it regularly. In fact, she enjoyed it very much. She could thank Seth for that. He had showed her what a wonderful experience it could be. Not because he'd been a great lover, quite the opposite, but the potential between them, the potential to be amazing and out of this world, had always enthralled her. She had never stopped searching for that feeling with others, and had always come up short. It was what had kept her coming back to Seth, had forced her to confess to him that she was as inexperienced as he was. She was his first, and he was her first, and they helped each other come to their own awakenings regarding sex and intimacy.

She'd had several partners over the years that had made her feel fantastic and sated, but it had always been different with Seth. He wasn't as skilled or as experienced as many of the men she'd been with, but then he'd never had their opportunities. The fact that he'd been downright terrible had never bothered her, not really. It had only mattered to her in the sense that she would be forced to expose a vulnerable side of her self that she had sworn never to do. But she did, because the way he looked at her was nothing she'd ever seen before. And she knew now she would do anything, risk anything, to have him always look at her like that. The absolute adoration, the blind devotion, the belief that she was the most beautiful and precious girl on the planet was such an addictive feeling it was impossible to ignore.

That is what made Seth so special to her. Despite his fumbling and awkwardness, it had never stopped him from instinctively knowing just how to touch her, how to make her feel, despite all the uneasy moments. She had yet to experience the kind of emotionally sexual highs with anyone else that she'd had with Seth. And they had only had sex together for a little over a week before everything went to shit. Yet in that time, in that small, seemingly insignificant timeframe, he had made an indelible mark on her that would stay with her forever.

Marissa had always made fun of her for her obsessive need to constantly touch him and be close to him. Whether that meant they had sex or they just spent the night together, sleeping in the same bed, Summer loved the feelings Seth invoked in her. Summer had never cared about Marissa's teasing, because it was worth the embarrassment her best friend heaped on her. And she knew that sometimes she could go a little overboard at times, and she knew that sometimes she had freaked Seth out with her intensity, but she loved what she loved and wasn't about to apologize for it. If she wanted sex, she would have sex. If she didn't, then she wouldn't. If she wanted In-N-Out, then she would. If she wanted that new pair of shoes, then she would. It was all the same principle in her mind. Seth got to her like no one else ever had and she was absolutely positive no one else would. Summer liked feeling physically spent, fulfilled, taken care of, special, all things she felt when Seth and her had were together. She'd do anything to feel that way now.

Unfortunately, Seth hated her. Well, she didn't know if he literally hated her, because he sure as hell hadn't been acting like it lately, but she did know he was completely confused about her. And she didn't want to push him too hard and make him leave again. She needed to give him time to sort everything out, to decide how he felt about her, to figure out that it would be okay to forgive her for every single shitty thing she had ever done to him. That was what she was most afraid of, that he'd never forgive her. It terrified her. After the way she had treated him, humiliated him, lied to him, was it even possible for him to forgive her? She desperately hoped so. She had to make things right.

Marissa lifted her head and gazed at her, a smile beginning to form on her face. "Wow, you look like shit."

Summer did her best to glare murderously at her best friend, but she was too tired to put much effort in it. "Shut up, I had a long night."

Marissa grinned. "Oh, really?"

"Nothing happened, Coop." Unfortunately, she wanted to add, but stopped herself in time.

"I never said anything did."

Summer stuck her tongue out at Marissa and moped over to the coffee, pouring a cup. The hot liquid hit her tongue and she sighed in satisfaction. God she needed this. "How is he anyway?" When she had made her way downstairs in the morning to check on Seth, he was gone. There had been a note on the bed, in his distinctive scrawl, thanking her for taking care of him and that he had left for home to face the music.

"All right, I think. He and Sandy had a talk, and he apologized to everybody for worrying them. He's upstairs in the shower right now."

Summer closed her eyes and immediately thought of Seth wet and naked and cursed Marissa for putting the images in her head. That was probably why she blurted out, "I almost had sex with him last night."

Marissa's eyes widened and she gasped. "Summer! You didn't!"

Summer growled, frustrated. "Exactly! I didn't. I came sooo close though. I just couldn't do it while he was drunk and probably didn't know what was going on."

"But you wanted to?"

"Oh God, you have no idea."

"What about Nick?"

"I broke up with him this morning." As soon as she had found Seth gone, she had called Nick and told him her decision about London. She wasn't going. They had argued, he had wanted to stay together even while he was gone, but she had nipped that idea in the bud. It wasn't fair to him. He shouldn't have to spend four months in a city as wonderful as London pining after a girl who no longer felt invested in the relationship. One who was not only no longer invested in the relationship, but intent on starting something with someone else. He should be free to find someone who could feel for him just as strong as he felt for her.

She really had seriously considered going to London with him, but Seth had brought up too many feelings and memories inside of her to continue lying to Nick. She wasn't the same girl she used to be; she wasn't into toying with people's emotions and leading them on like she had before. After what happened with Seth, she realized screwing with people like that wasn't as fun as she had thought it was. When she concluded that a relationship was going nowhere, she broke it off right then and there. Sometimes it was abrupt, and sometimes she left her boyfriends confused and hurt, but she was serious about no longer hurting people more than she had to, no longer treating people like crap. She tried to be as honest as she could, even if that meant she never got close to anybody. Because she couldn't. That just wasn't her style, it was against her rules. But still, she tried as best she could not to make them think she was as invested in the relationship as much as they were.

"Wow, Sum, are you sure that was a good idea? It may be – uh – a little premature."

Summer dismissed Marissa's question with a wave of her hand. She knew what Marissa was alluding to but didn't care. Seth was not the only reason why she had ended it. "You know how it goes."

"But I thought you and Nick were getting more serious than usual."

"I briefly considered it, but then Seth came back, and well, you know."

"Oh right, Seth." Marissa smirked and looked down at the bagel she was eating.

"Yeah, yeah, Coop." Marissa was the only person who knew how she really felt about Seth, the only person she had admitted her true feelings to. She had been there for her breakdown when she'd found out Seth was gone. Summer had told her everything. Why she had treated Seth the way she did, why she'd broken it off with him, everything. Marissa had supported her, comforted her, and helped put things into perspective. Marissa had been her rock and she would be forever grateful for it. Still, Marissa had never been above the occasional tease or dig about her relationship with Seth.

"I'm just surprised a little surprised at how fast you are taking things. You know, considering all the stuff that happened before."

Summer frowned and sat down next to her friend. "I don't think I'm moving too fast. I'm still not sure what I want."

"Right. And what did you want last night again?"

Summer leaned into Marissa with her shoulder, nudging her none too gently. "Shut up. That's so not the same."

"Does he even remember?"

"I have no idea, I haven't talked to him since last night."

"Do you want him to remember?" Marissa was looking at her curiously.

"I – I don't know." Summer swallowed some more coffee and thought about what else to say. "A part of me does, because then it'd be easier to deal with all this stuff between us. But the other part doesn't, because then I could probably never look him in the eye again."

"That bad?"
"It was terrible, Marissa. I was literally dragging him out the door."

Marissa laughed loudly and polished off the last of her bagel. "Oh that's bad."

Summer blushed and stared into the black pool of her coffee. "I'm embarrassed enough as it is, Coop."

Marissa shook her head. "I don't see what the big deal is. You've never been all that in control around Seth anyway, so who cares if he finds out you still go crazy around him? That's a good thing if you ask me." Marissa stopped and licked some cream cheese off her finger. "Have you thought about asking him for another chance? He might say yes."

Summer shook her head in complete denial. "He hates me." She kind of moaned in despair.

"I think he'll say yes." Marissa sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as Summer. "It may take him a while, and you'll have to apologize a lot and do some begging, but he'll give in eventually."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I'm married to his brother."

"Seth said something about me to Ryan?" Summer sounded so pathetically happy at the prospect she blushed.

Marissa leaned close to her and whispered, "Look, they would both kill me if they ever heard I told you anything, but Ryan told me Seth said some things about you when they had their big talk a couple of days ago."

"Good things? Bad things? Come on, Coop, you gotta give me more here."

"I don't know exactly, but Ryan didn't give me the impression that you should be worried."

Wow, maybe there was a chance for her after all. She hoped there was, she needed there to be one, for her own sake. "But then it is Ryan, so I can't be sure." Summer's elation died a little, but she was surprised at how optimistic she felt. She wasn't going to get discouraged easily.

"I had no idea. He's not really shown any sign that he feels that way so far."

"What about last night?"

"Oh he was drunk and I'm hot, why wouldn't he want me?" Summer said it absently, not really realizing what she had said, already thinking about how she could approach Seth for her second chance.

Marissa just chuckled. "Sometimes, your confidence amazes me."

"It ain't confidence when it's the truth."

Seth walked into the kitchen at that very moment, hand running through his hair. Summer froze, all thoughts abruptly stopped, all she could do was look nervously at the object of her every thought lately. "Good morning, ladies."

He grabbed himself a cup of coffee and started foraging inside a cupboard for some cereal. Summer stared at him. Was he not going to acknowledge her? Did he really remember nothing?

"Hey, Seth, how you feeling?"

"Pretty good, Cooper. The shower really helped." He filled his bowl with cereal, poured milk over it, and stood in front of them, hip resting against the counter.

"That's good. How'd you sleep last night?"

Summer whirled around to shoot daggers at Marissa, trying to subtly motion with her hands for her friend to shut the hell up. Marissa just grinned slyly at her. Seth seemed completely oblivious. "For some reason, I woke up in the strangest place." Seth turned his gaze to rest on Summer, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. "I don't suppose you know anything about that?"

"Somebody begged me not to make him go home. What was I supposed to do?" Summer blushed but glared defiantly at Seth. He just smirked.

"Hey, Marissa, do you think I could talk to Summer alone for a minute?"

Marissa looked from Seth and then to Summer. She shrugged her shoulders, ignoring the desperate look Summer was sending her not to leave her alone. "Sure thing. I need to go check on Mikayla anyway."

Summer glared at Marissa until she left the kitchen. What a traitor! How could Marissa just abandon her like that, at a time where she needed her friend most? "So, um, about last night – "

Seth jumped in and began talking. "I want to say thank you for making sure I was okay. I really appreciate it."

Summer blushed and stared at her coffee cup. There was only a little of her liquid savior left and it was a lot more safe to look at than Seth. "It was nothing. I just wish you didn't drink like that."

Seth shrugged and played with his spoon in his cereal. "So do I."

"Why do you do it then?"

"Because it's easier than dealing with my problems."

"You can't run away from everything, Cohen, it always catches up to you."

"I know." He walked over to the seat Marissa had just left and nodded at it, as if asking her permission if it was okay he sat next to her. She quickly nodded her agreement. "Still, that's a part of my life that I'm not very proud of and you were there for me. I don't really know what to say but thank you."

"You scared me." She didn't look at him, and she wasn't speaking very loudly, but she knew she had his complete attention. "I care a lot about you and I didn't like seeing you like that."

Seth studied her quietly for a while. Summer tried not to fidget or act nervous, but it was hard. Seth's eyes were calm and insistent, washing over her body, staring at her face. It was like he was trying to see inside of her. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

She was afraid of what it was going to be. "Yeah, of course."

"Do you still have feelings for me?"

Summer stopped breathing and stared hard at her coffee. Wow, that was uncharacteristically blunt for Seth. She knew what she wanted to say, knew what she needed to say it if she had any hope for things getting better between them. But she didn't know if she could do it. If she did, she'd be permanently out there, he'd know, and she'd be vulnerable. Ultimately though, she knew what she had to do. "Yes, I think so."

"So do I."

She felt like jumping up and down and cheering, but managed to contain her excitement to a faint smile. "So what does this mean?"

"Are you still with your boyfriend?" He paused and seemed to be considering his words. He added, "I don't mean to pry into things that aren't my business or to sound jealous, because I'm not, I just want to make it clear that while I have no idea what I want or even how I truly feel, I don't even want to start on that path with you if you're still involved with him. I'm not going to ask you to break up with him for me, or anything stupid like that, but I have no intention of getting in the middle of someone's relationship." Seth ended his ramble with a quick intake of breath.

"No, I broke up with him this morning." She studied his reaction and made note of all the different emotions that played across his face: surprise, pleasure, apprehension, and ultimately satisfaction.

"Well, I am sort of sorry."

"Thanks, I think." She smiled faintly at him, so far pleased with how things were going. "It's okay, I kind of knew it was coming."

"Because of me?"

"Yeah, a little, but mostly because I just didn't feel as strongly for him as I used to and that started before you ever showed up."

"That's good, because I don't want to be the reason why you did it. I went through something like that once and I refuse to ever go through something like that again." He looked down at the countertop, and mumbled, "Not again."

Summer immediately thought of what he'd told her about Kat and her boyfriend and winced. It looked like breaking things off with Nick had been a good thing, because she doubted Seth would even be talking to her about this if she hadn't. "You weren't." She was totally lying, but Seth never had to know. She never would have ended it were it not for Seth. Yeah, her feelings for Nick had waned, but she still thought they had a few good months left in them. Well, if Nick wasn't going to be leaving for London in a few weeks, then she wouldn't have ended it. So maybe it wasn't Seth's fault after all. "How do you feel about all this?"

"I don't know."

"Do you – do you still hate me? Are you still angry over everything?" What a stupid question, but she still was desperately hoping he'd say no.

Seth didn't say anything for a while, but when he did, he was very quiet. "Yes."

Whatever high she had felt from his earlier admission was completely gone now. "Oh."

"I am so confused, Summer. When I look at you, I feel everything. I feel all the hate, anger, and pain you caused me. But I also feel the love, desire, and desperate need to be with you. I don't know what to do." He sounded so frustrated, so lost and confused, that she just had to hug him. So she did.

He was stiff at first, but he quickly responded. He sighed, and she felt him push his face deeper into her hair. "I completely understand, Cohen. I'm confused too. I don't know what to feel, but I know that ever since I saw you that morning, I can't stop thinking about you."

Seth squeezed her tightly and then pulled away. "I just don't think I can do it, Summer. Not again."

"No, you can. I promise that the same thing won't happen this time. I've changed." She was eager, fervent in her plea for him not to lose hope. To believe it was worth trying again, like she did.

Seth stood up, putting some distance between them. "It's not that, it's everything before. What you did to me – how do I not think about it? The way you laughed at me – " His voice trailed off into a pained whisper. "I still hear it, still see you with – with him."

And here it was, the one thing she had been most afraid of. She had no comeback, no way of refuting his objection. She couldn't even really apologize. What apology could ever be adequate enough? Because he was right. What she had done to him was so horrible no reasonable person would ever forgive or forget. But he had to, he just had to. She refused to let this be the reason why it couldn't work. She refused to let her past mistakes dictate her present life. "You don't have to not think about it, Cohen, you just have to give me the opportunity to show you that it won't happen again. I can't apologize enough for what I did or how I acted. I won't tell you to forget it, because there's no way you can. I just want you to consider the possibility that maybe, it's something we can try to work through together."

Seth nodded, hopefully taking her words to heart. "I just need time to think. Time to get used to being around you all the time. I mean, how do I know that everything between us isn't some latent feelings being dredged up from seeing you for the first time in eight years?"

She felt a sharp sting at his words, but didn't let them discourage her. After all, he was right. She had doubted the validity of her own feelings countless times since he'd arrived. How did she know it wasn't just guilt making her feel this way? How did she know when she looked at Seth, she wasn't seeing the boy whose heart she had broken, and merely wanted to make him feel better out of pity? She didn't know for sure, not 100, but she was willing to trust that her feelings were genuine. That she hadn't been going out of her mind for the last 12 hours because of guilt. "I don't know, Cohen. I've wondered the same thing. I just have faith they're not."

Seth nodded again. "You are probably right, I guess." He ran a hand through his hair. "I just need time. I need to think over everything and find my answer." He looked away slightly. "I'm sorry, but I just need to make sure that you won't hurt me again."

"That's fine, and I completely understand." This was going much better than she had ever hoped. He actually seemed to be genuinely considering it. "But you believe me when I say that you can trust me and that I mean everything I've said now?"

"Y-Yes."

Well, that didn't have the conviction she had been hoping for, but maybe she had asked that question a little too soon. "Okay, because I do. I want to at least try, Cohen. I mean, at the very least, we can be friends, right?"

Seth smiled at her, slightly, enough to show off his dimples. "I do miss you."

Summer had never considered herself a swooning kind of girl, but at that moment, she thought it very appropriate. She somehow managed not to do so however. How embarrassing would that have been? "I miss you too."

Preview: The calm before the storm, people. The calm before the storm.