Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing at all.

A/N: I'm back! WEE! Read and review, yo!

Wingsofthefae: Look! Jelly!

XxSpeckAxLynnAxX: Hee hee, Harry and Draco. Unicorns... Hee hee...

geekthing: I'm not sure if that was a compliment... but... thanks?

Moony: I love you. Have my clarinet playing babies.

Pandora: Most of this chapter is in response to your review. Yeah.

WaterGoddess9: The love of my life. Always giving me stuff.

HealerAriel: I'm glad I could make someone's day. Go me!

Henrietta-Black van der Snape: Here's what happens next! It's even shorter than the last chapter!

Remus'Fiance: I think I'm going to have to steal the cheerleading Ron soon... For another chapter.

Chapter 10: Jelly!

'I'm tired of this constant abuse!' thought the unhappy elf that'd just landed on Draco. 'Always cleaning and cooking and 'yes sir!' and 'no sir!' And now this! Being dropped on people! I've had enough!'

But before any insane Dobby-like words could escape the little elf's mouth, a sequence of "pops" filled the Hall, several elfy hands grabbed the dropped elf, and "popped" into the kitchens.

Because the house elf was obviously in need of some reprogramming. I mean brainwashing. I mean "motivational speeches" … Yeah. And who would be better for that than a happy kitcheny house elf? Who I ask? Nobody, that's who.

…

"Er, right." Dobby hated the brainwashing house elves. They never had any socks.

Meanwhile, in the Great Hall, everyone had forgotten about the unicorn. They were all busy watching an epic battle unfold. Not really. It was more like an … argument.

"There's no way that you're a boy!" Some random chick was arguing with Blaise about his gender. Again.

Honestly, when will these people learn?

"I am a boy though. See?" He pointed at his "I'm a boy" badge.

"So? You look like a girl."

"I was just born pretty. Really pretty."

"Well, you have a girl name."

He tossed his hair. "It's a family name… And it's not a girl's name…"

"Well, didn't someone say you were a girl after you got sorted into Slytherin?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you."

Then Seamus and Draco piped in, reciting in unison, "From Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, American Edition, chapter seven, page 122, second to last paragraph, I quote:

'Well done, Ron, excellent,' said Percy Weasley pompously across Harry as 'Zabini, Blaise,' was made a Slytherin. Professor McGonagall rolled up her scroll and took the Sorting Hat away.

See? No mention of gender anywhere at all. But, J.K.R. later confirmed Blaise's sex (male). And… well, have you even read the sixth book?"

With that, the two Sex Gods slipped out of sight. But not together.

"See, Pandora- I mean 'Random Chick' – I'm a boy." With that, Blaise swung his long hair back and walked away, swishing his hips.

The random chick vanished, and the lights faded as a chilling voice filled the Hall.

"Don't try to prove me wrong about something related to Harry Potter, because I will own you in the face! Bwahahahahahaha!" The lights returned to normal.

Harry looked down and saw a paper saying "This is a NOTE," which he read aloud.

"Note: As this is Pre-HBP, certain things will not be accurate, I've said it before, but things like Blaise's gender or middle names of certain characters are correct, so don't argue with me. Please? It makes me angry.
Love, always,
Lyrix.

(I'm cool, yo.)"

After lessons that day (because there's still no DADA teacher…), Draco and Harry were in the Slytherin Seventh Year Boy's dormitory.

Harry stared at his lover's bed with a look of terror and curiosity.

He couldn't even speak. He was dumbfounded!

"You know, all the girls I brought here thought it was cute." Draco shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like how Harry was looking at his collection. "H – "

"Unicorns."

Yes, that's right, more unicorns.

Stuffed unicorns. Plushy unicorns. Tiny unicorn action figures. All arranged on and around Draco's unicorn-sheet adorned bed.

So … many…

"And… jelly?" Harry was just confused by the jelly. Why? Why jelly?

"Oh, I don't know how that got here…"

Peeves popped out of a corner, and pointed (giggling) at Blaise's pillow, which was covered in jelly.

Strawberry jelly.

"Won't he notice?" Harry was sure even RON would notice jelly on his pillow.

"Not a chance. Well, he'll notice once he lies down, but never looks at his bed when he's getting in. He's usually already half asleep."

"Oh, right."

Peeves giggled and said, "It's enchanted jelly. Can't be magicked away, or else it makes an even bigger, stickier mess. Has to be washed out. Hee!"

And then he zoomed away.

Draco and Harry blinked in silence after the poltergeist.

Poor, unsuspecting Blaise.

Off in the dungeons, Hermione and Snape were engaged in some extracurricular activities.

While Dumbledore watched and twinkled creepily in a corner.

CREEPY!