A.N. Well, I've finally done it. I've written a Torchwood fic, a one shot but still a fic at least. It's sort of a crossover; it's basically the Torchwood Team talking about the famous five. As I said before this is my first Torchwood fanfic, so please be kind!

Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or anything connected to it. I also do not own The Famous Five or anything connected to it.

The Torchwood Five

"I'm just saying there are some similarities," Ianto explained, over the door alarm.

He, Jack and Tosh were returning from recovering a piece of alien technology, which had fallen through the rift earlier in the day. It had turned out to be a kind of alien whisk.

"Well, I don't see them," Jack replied.

"See what?" Gwen asked, as the three reached her desk.

"Ianto thinks that we're like The Famous Five, while Jack thinks that we are nothing like them," Tosh explained.

"Teaboy!" Owen said, joining the group around Gwen's desk. "Who am I in this Famous Five of yours?"

"That's easy" Ianto smiled. "You're George. A character with a quick temper, who judges people quickly but is a good person at heart."

"And happens to be sexually confused." Jack muttered.

"What?!?" Owen cried. "I'm not sexually confused"

"Course you're not…Owena" By this point Tosh and Gwen had all but collapsed in laughter.

Owen, who had gone bright red, shouted at Ianto "Who are they then?" pointing at the two girls.

"Gwen is obviously Julian, a leader with a good heart," Ianto explained.

"But is up himself," Jack added.

Gwen went red. "I'm not up myself!"

"Where as Tosh is more of a Dick, a character who is dependable, kind in nature and has a subtly yet cheeky sense of humour," Ianto carried on, ignoring Gwen's dark mumblings.

"But he's a greedy pig," Jack muttered.

"I'm not a greedy pig… am I?" Tosh asked the others, worriedly.

"Don't listen to Jack, Tosh. He's just being a git, today." Ianto assured her. "You're not a greedy pig and you never will be."

"Who are you Ianto?" Gwen asked the Welshman.

"I'm obvious Anne, a character that fades into the background and holds down the home front."

"In other words, does all the cleaning, cooking etc." Jack commented.

"Well I do."

"Ianto's right, Jack." Tosh pointed out. "He does do all of that."

"So, who does that leave Jack with?" Gwen asked.

"Jack is Timmy, a brave character, who is used if all else fails." Ianto smiled.

"He's a dog!" Jack cried, in protest. The whole team burst into laughter in realization that Jack was being compared to a dog.

"You didn't mind being a dog last night, sir" Ianto said, cheeky.

"That's different." Jack muttered, escaping to his office.

From this moment, whenever Jack had to do something in the field, a whisper of "Fly at him, Timmy. Fly at him!" could be heard from Ianto.

The End

A.N. Well that's it. Hope you enjoyed it, please review and thank you for reading!