Author's Info: This is a Yuki song fic I wrote a year ago, when I was obsessed with this song. I did some restructuring to keep it chronological plotwise, but this was the first one I had written. I may add a fourth one, dealing with their earlier times together, but I'm not sure yet. It stands the possibility of being in Yuki's point of view, so you understand the background better. Tell me what you think!
The "what"s: As you can tell, I was listening to P!nk's Who Knew as I was writing this and I was thinking about how tragic the story of the Faruba characters seems at times, especially when it came to romance. Everything ends up happily, but perhaps not as much for some as for others...
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, nor do I own the song, Who Knew. Those are owned by their respective owners. I do own the OC, and I did come up with the plot on my own. Enjoy.
You took my hand to show me how
You promised me you'd be around
It's been years since I've seen his face. Even though it's been so long, I can still remember everything about him: his eyes, his voice, his hair, and his kiss. He was my best friend and my first love. It's strange, how nostalgic time makes a memory. Still, this wasn't the same person I remember. He was… happier. Of course, he was in love. He'd gotten married.
Uh-huh, that's right
It's funny, how much it can hurt. I never thought those romance novels Shigure always put out could ever be right, but, when it came to heartache, he really understood. It was the only thing he ever got right. Then again, he does seem like those people Shigure writes about. The ones who are filled with what they call "true love."
I took your words and I believed
In everything you said to me
Coming home to another empty apartment just makes me think of the times I spent with him. The long talks about anything and everything; sometimes so silly we would just laugh afterward, other times so serious that we were crying together. The secret walks and sly kisses whenever we had the time to be alone together. Even though it hurts now, I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.
Yeah huh, that's right
Looking around, all I can think about is everything I've lost. Maybe it was his fault, maybe mine, or maybe it wasn't either of us at all. It's hard to tell anymore. All I know is that in all these years, it's been empty, trying to tell myself I didn't think about him anymore. Why didn't I try to tell him when I had the chance? Maybe it is my fault, after all…
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
'Cause they're all wrong
I know better 'cause you said forever
And ever, who knew
I dreamt of him again. Of course, this time, in every memory I cherished of him, every memory that meant anything to me, she was in my place. She was the one making him smile, making him laugh, making him the radiant "prince" everyone admired. When I awoke, I knew that even then I had never truly believed he was mine. There were always moments where he was too distant, too… unattainable. Even now, I feel as if my heart was stopping entirely. The truth is, even though I never wanted it to end, he was never truly mine to have.
Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Once, he was laughing. We were finally together and he was so… carefree. He was so open and happy; I could only love him the more for it. That was the day he told me he loved me. It was also our first kiss. It's never easy, knowing you're with the most wanted man in high school, but I loved him too much to even care about the stupid "fan club" that followed him around. He held my hand in his as we walked, not caring about anything except each other. Days like this, all I want to do is return to those times. Then again, I would only have to wake up yet again to this nightmare.
Oh no, no no
I wonder if this is how Hatori felt, knowing the one he loved more than anything in this world was marrying someone else. Still, there is one major difference: at least she had no choice but to forget; Hatori loved her far too much to let her suffer. Me? Well…it looks like I got the short end of the stick.
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I remember the day I left. There had been a fight. All I had wanted was approval, for our sake. I can't believe I was such a fool. I thought by telling Akito we could make our love permanent, but the only thing I managed to make permanent was our separation. He was unusually angry. His words will forever haunt me: "You may be a Sohma, but you'll never be one of us! You'll never become part of this family!"
I'd give anything
I had no choice after that. There was no way I could even look at him, after what I caused. Some say I reacted like Kana, but most said I did what I had to if I wanted to protect the one I loved more than anything. I had to let him go, or watch him slowly fade away because of Akito's constant torture in that "room." It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, and the only one I've ever wished I could have done over again. Just the thought of it makes my heart break again and again. Then again, all that's left are broken pieces anyway. They never have been put back together.
When someone said count your blessings now
'Fore they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better still you said forever
And ever, who knew
I saw Hatori today. It was my first time returning to that place. His immediate reaction was surprise, fading away into that same understanding, yet incredibly sad smile. For a long time we just stood together in silence, but we ultimately began talking about what had happened since my departure. He told me how they met. It was college, the new place of freedom he had attained. They were in a few classes together and began talking. Naturally, she made him laugh. It was inevitable, I guess. Still, that doesn't make it any easier on the person left behind. I now entirely understood Hatori's desire to freeze his heart; it was the only way to look back on those memories and not feel myself break into a thousand pieces.
Yeah Yeah
Going back to the apartment is getting harder and harder. Why did I come back? There wasn't any reason for me to return here. I was good at my previous job. I really do sound stupid now, I guess. I've never been good at lying to anyone, especially not myself. I came back because I wanted to see him again. I wanted to see if he would smile again for me. I never expected him to remember me the way he once did, but I never wanted him to forget me…or the feelings we shared.
I'll keep you locked in my head, until we meet again
Until we- until we meet again
Why? Why can't I stop it? Every time I think about that scene, I start crying over again. I wanted to stop by, to see him again, but now…I know I'll never have the courage to face him. Him, who is so happy, while I continue to breed sadness. I won't disturb the peace of my prince; all I wish for him is his happiness. Nothing else matters anymore.
I won't forget you my friend. What happened?
I'm packing my apartment again. Another move, another escape. I guess I never was any good at these things. Goodbye, my prince. This will likely be our last meeting. I know he'll be happy with her, far more than he ever could have been with me. I hope he enjoys life, especially now that he can love her completely, the way he never could me.
If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
'Cause they're all wrong and
Time to go. I take one last look at my old life, trying to think of an easy way to push it all behind me. One more look, just to keep the last memory in my mind. As I turn to leave, I bump into someone. I look up, ready to apologize, and my heart stops. He's looking at me, ready to apologize himself, but I just brush by. It's clear in his eyes that his memories of me have faded. It's easy to understand, so I won't be angry. I'll use what little honor and dignity I have left to proudly walk away with a gentle smile, just as I did when I left him so long ago. Goodbye, Yuki Sohma, my love.
That last kiss I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember
But I'll keep your memory
The train is about to leave now. I'll never return here again, of that I'm certain. My heart won't be able to take any more of these memories. The announcement begins to note my departure time. As I gather my things, I hear my name being called; the only person who ever called me like that has been gone from me for so long, the only time I hear it is in my dreams. I'm sure it's just a fantasy, a final dear wish in my heart to see him once again. I hear it again. I turn, and there he is, panting as if he'd just run a long way. He's staring at me, as though I was a ghost haunting him when he most desired peace. I looked away before my face could betray my heart. It was too much. I couldn't handle this; I couldn't handle him telling me himself. I didn't want to hear that it was really over.
You visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew
He slowly approached me; I slowly backed away. I could see the hurt on his face as I did, so I finally stood still. His eyes, his smile—everything was as I remembered, but I knew it was no longer mine to have. Still, the way he looked at me, I couldn't help it. The tears I had held inside for so long began to stream down my face, even as I forced a smile onto my face and said my goodbyes. Then, as though he wasn't even thinking, he pulled me into his embrace. I tried to push him back, afraid of exposing him here, in such a public place. Still, nothing happened. Unlike every time I had tried to hold him, he didn't transform. So the curse was finally broken, and he was living the life he had always dreamed of. His happiness seemed complete in my eyes, and I knew I had been far too late.
My darling, my darling
Who knew
My darling, I wish you
The train was ordering its final call. I broke from his arms, knowing if I couldn't leave on this train, I would never be able to leave my love for him behind. Despite this, he refused to let go. Finally, I couldn't handle anymore. I broke in front of him, for the first and last time. There would never be any hope of collecting what I would now lose. It was too late for me to hope, and too late for me to stop dreaming. Still, he continued to hold me, and he never said a word that wasn't of the utmost kindness to me, just like I would say to him back then. Somehow, he'd become even more of a prince than I ever thought was possible. This goodbye would be the end of my heart now that I could see him again, now that I could hold him and be held by him. My last dream had faded into nothingness. Then, everything changed. All it took was those three words he whispered in my ear: "I miss you."
My darling
Who knew
I stared at him, wondering what those words could mean. Then I realized the truth, and I smiled sadly. If only he would have waited he would have seen that there was never anyone that could take his place in my heart.
Who knew
