A/n: Hello my lovely readers this story takes place after emmett got his sanity back. And this is my first story that has jake and nessie!! read on.
Disclaimer: i don't own twilight...but its on my christman list!!
I was currently watching in horror as emmett tried to learn the "single ladies" dance. Nessie was in my lap laughing and edward tried to block this all out. Alice and jasper were out shopping. Rose was in the garage. Jacob was coming soon. But this maddness had to stop...
"Emmett!! stop! Are you single?Are you a lady? No-So sit Down"I demanded.
"Your just jealous because i do it better then you" he snapped his fingers in a 'z' formation.
"Bite me" I muttered
"Edward already did!" He said loudly
"And James!"Rose chimed in from the garage
"And Nessie" Edward said playing along
"Hell even jasper almost got one in" Jacob said from the door way
"Wow Bella your such a vamp-tramp"Emmett muttered
"What did you call me"I yelled standing up towering over him.
" A Vamp-Tramp"He said standing up as well
I lunged at his troat hunting for his jugular. Before I found it I was pried off him before and real damage. Esme was restraining me until I calmed down. When i did i was sitting next to was still on the floor eyes wide. Jasper walk in and immediatly changed that atmospher.
i felt really weird. dizzy and very calm Too calm...jasper
"Jazz if i was any *cough* calmer i'd be dead"
"oops..."he said
"Will anyone like to explain what happened to my table?" Esme asked...oops
"Shit..." i hissed
emmett head snapped up to me and pointed"mom!! Bella said shit and fuck!!"
"I did not say fuck" i yelled ready to go back a him
"now you did" he smirked i groaned loudly and picked up nessie.
Alice skipped down stairs with a smile on here face.
"Hey guys I was thinking we could go to the fair-" she was cut off Emmett
"FAIR!!!!!!!!! COME ON LET'S GO" he barked and dashed out the house
Two minutes later he came back screaming"COME ON" which was pretty scary.
We were already ready we were just waiting how long it will take to realise he stupidity.
Meanwhile in the car...
Edward was driving Jazz was in the passenger seat, Rose Alice and I was in the second row and Jacob Nessie and Emmett were in the third.
" Are we there yet?" emmett asked for the somewhat 30th time since we left.
"No"we answered annoyed
"How about now?"
"shut up leech" jake barked
"jeez mutt don't get to excited or you'll wet the rug." Emmett nuttered
Before jake got anything started i spoke up.
" Come on guys 2 wrongs don't make a right"
" Yeah but 3 rights make a left" emmett said which made jasper burst out laughing
It was silent for once the emmett spoke up"let's sing" no made an effort so he took the lead and started singing shoes by kelly with much to Enthusiasm.
"Shoes. Shoes. my God. Shoes.
Let's get some shoes.4x.
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Oh, my God, shoes. Shoes.
These shoes rule. These shoes suck.
These shoes rule. These shoes suck!
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Oh, my God, shoes.
These shoes rule. These shoes suck.
These shoes suck. These shoes suck!(his voice was slowly rising)
I think you have too many shoes. Shut up!
I think you have too many shoes. Shut up!
I think you have too many shoes. Shut up! I think you have too many shoes. Shut up!
Stupid boy. Stupid boy. Let's get some shoes. Let's party
. These shoes are three hundred dollars. These shoes are three hundred dollars
. These shoes are three hundred FUKING dollars. Let's get 'em! (that was pretty loud)
Um...this style runs small. I don't think you're gonna fit
. I mean, your feet are kinda big. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, by the way betch(everyone was shying away covering their ears)
, FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!"
BY now every one was cowering in the corner while he spased out. He was screaming on the top of his lungs and shaking like was was about exploded. When finished it was dead silent.
"Next is"he paused in thought
"No Emmett"edward said
"What"
"You are now singing let me borrow that top"
"fine them turn in the radio"
I began flipping through the station until Emmett yelled "STOP GO BACK" I groaned and emmett began singing again.
Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla
Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla
Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla
Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla-
I turned it off so he'll shut up. we sat in silence for the rest of the trip. We were all mentally disturbed.
At the fair...
We were walking to the entrance and emmett was acting more Alice them Alice was. Which was earning a few stares,probaly questioning his sanity.
" Em remember you need to behave yourself" jasper warned
" Jazz i could handle my self myself i'm completely mature...OH WIGS!!!" he dashed into the crowd to where the wigs are wigs? i don't know.
5 minutes and 30 wigs later...
Emmett skipped back with his wigs.
"Why wigs Emmett?" i asked
"Why not " was all he said
We all stared at him before we entered the house off of horrors.
When we entered there was a fair amount of people there all very excited ,they slammed the doors and we began walking through the excitment was so intense I didn't know if Jasper could handle it we rolling in laughter when he began bouncing as peoPle got more and more anxious Jasper was unbelivable when we thought it couldnt get anymore hillarious. But it did
Jasper scremed
Everyone fell silent.
Do you have one of those moment when you see the most funny thing in you life and sware you will never laugh again
This was one of them,
Out of nowhere emmett said'' dude you scream like a girl''
15 minutes and alot of laughter later...
I really wanted to go home now . Emmett and Jasper had done alot of damanged already. Oh-well at least nessie is enjoying heself. As I look over to nessie I noticed Jake was not with her I began to look around for him. That's when i heard arguing.. I turned to see Emmett and Jacob arguing with eachother in front of some bowling game.
"Dude i can so beat you"
"Well i'd like to see you try"
"Fine"
"Fine!"
The man behind the stand looked frightened as the went at it . This continues at a remarkable pace for ten minutes. I pitied the man because when they wanted to collect, It would be a heaping amount. There was a long line forming behind them and very impatient.
Some guys even had the guts to shove them aside. They both turned slowly around. Jacob growled sounding very animalistic and Emmett hissed sounding down right scary looked like they where about to eat was a crowd forming even a few people were praying I was astonished at their behavoir.
Istomped over to them,grabbed them by the ears and towed them to the car.
"why is youR issueS-!" i scolded them for 5 minutes until every else came.
We got in the car in silence. Nessie we already asleep. Emmett was figiting was really annoying.
"Can i sing one song?" emmett pleaded
"No" we all yelled
"Please its been in my head all day if you let i swear i'll shut up till we get home"
"fine" we murmured
He cleared his throat and began...
"now i need a hip hop beat--(jacob gave him one)"
"isabella kissed a fella and now he's totally sprung-(i growled but he ignored me)
she was human and he is not not
and that's what made it hot
it got wild
they had a child(he pointed to nessie)
now he's a sitting duck
she made her change
now they're diranged
because all they do is--"
"Emmett!!!"we all yelled
A/N: There we go. If you seen "shoes" by kelly you'll understand why i picked it for emmett. p.S- i totally made at that song at the end i hope you understand the joke and why they cut him off....anyway hoping for 12 reveiws. P.P.S- Vote on my poll on my profile.
*~Kay~*
