Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! I wish Bella had found a way to be with Jacob..and I agree. Like a druggie in withdrawl. Oi. Hope this one is ok, too. =]
The warmth felt good, it was all around me. I leaned into it. I could feel myself being lifted, moved, could hear voices, near and familiar, though it took a moment to decipher words.
"Last I saw she was talking to that girl, the one with the spikey hair."
"Dammit, Alice! How could she do that to Bella? I KNEW HE-"
"S'not her fault," I managed to mumble.
"Geez, Bella. She leaves you like this and you're still defending them?" Even through his gritted teeth, Jacob's words were softened by his gentle squeeze.
"Bella, are you OK?" Charlie's face was panicked as Jacob laid me gently on the couch. "You look so damn pale. What the hell did she say to you?"
The memory seeped back into focus, blinding me. I curled into a tight ball, holding my stomach, as someone laid a blanket over me. Footsteps moved out of the room, back into the kitchen.
"Dammit, Jake! I can't take this anymore! She already fell apart once, what will it do to her if it happens again? I've got to send her to Renée. She has to get out of Forks!"
"No, listen Charlie. Last time I got her back, brought her around. I can do it again…" There was a pause. Then, in a hushed voice: "Charlie, you know how I feel about her. Please give me a chance. I can make her happy."
I couldn't listen to this. I made my way up the stairs and crawled into my bed, resuming my defensive position, trying to keep the agony at bay. I don't know how, but at some point I fell asleep.
The Meadow. The dark forest was all around, leaning toward me savagely, the clearing getting smaller and smaller. I tripped forward, looking, searching. Presently there was a low, rhythmic humming. My hands stretched out, trying to grasp it. The sound was oddly soothing, leading me onward. Above me, the sky was changing, the blackness beaten back by swirling colors: the approach of Dawn. I felt the gentle touch of wind on my face, my hair tickling my cheeks. I picked up my pace, determined to find the sound. The trees in front of me seemed to be moving, parting to make way for me. Suddenly I could see the rising sun, and I was stopped short. I was standing on the edge of a cliff. Below me, the waves of La Push swelled and receded, the mystery sound. I prepared myself for the leap, but warm arms were around me now, and a whisper in my ear said "No."
"Bells, honey." My eyes flew open.
"Jake? What are you doing here?" The pale light coming through my window made it clear it was still very early in the morning. He kept his hand on my shoulder, his face worried.
"I was keeping watch nearby, but then I heard you flipping out. I ran back here and leaped in your window to save you, but you were sleeping. You looked kinda peaceful, actually. I guess I missed the nightmare. Are you OK?"
I considered telling Jacob the details of my latest dream, and thought better of it.
"I'm fine, Jake. You should get some sleep. You look pretty tired."
"If you insist." He leaned over me to take one of my pillows, his chest inches above me. The closeness of his skin affected me in ways I wasn't sure I could handle. He paused on his way back, grinning at me. Stupid heart.
"I'll be right here in case you have anymore bad dreams, 'K?" I nodded, and he dropped the pillow onto the floor, kicking it into a position he liked. I closed my eyes and listened to him adjust. I knew that his presence couldn't protect me from my internal horrors, but it did make me feel better. Even the heat of his body seemed to stretch out to me, wrapping me in its own blanket.
I contemplated the dream. Jacob had brought me out of my darkness in the Meadow, his light had saved me. Maybe he was right. Maybe he could make me happy, and we could have a life together. It wasn't what I had been planning on, wasn't the future I had been counting on, but it was a good one. He would keep me safe, and I would be happy and loved. He would love me deeply, and I would return it to make him happy. Suddenly, it seemed the only option. I rolled over to sneak a glance at him, but he was staring at me, his arm bent behind him, his body stretched out. I was surprised he could comfortably fit.
"Natural, Bells. Easy as breathing." He stared at me a minute longer, then rolled onto his side. A moment later I could hear his loud snores.
I smiled, thinking of how Charlie would react in the morning.
