Chapter Five

Arthur wasn't the only one who found Merlin's meek and deliberate behavior disconcerting. The young warlock was fairly popular with the other royal household staff, and he often spent time joking with the other servants; usually about Arthur. Now that things had changed so dramatically for him, Merlin was quiet and introverted. He quickly tired of being asked if he was alright, if he was feeling well, or enduring questions as to why he was so pale. The third time that someone asked him a question in a similar vein, Merlin snapped, much to the dismay of the young woman who worked in the royal kitchens and rather looked up to Merlin as an idol of sorts; being prince Arthur's personal servant.

Gwen was standing nearby and intervened by making a joke about Merlin having a headache from an over abundance of consumed ale and not to worry about him being grumpy. She tried to act as a buffer between everyone else and Merlin, seeing how uncomfortable the questioning made him feel. But she, too, was worried and curious as to what was wrong with her friend, however rather than asking him directly, she ended up discussing the situation with Morgana later in her chambers.

"He looks so sad, like someone close to him died, or... " Gwen was trying to explain her concerns to the Lady Morgana; somewhat unsuccessfully.

"Or what, Gwen?" Morgana asked earnestly.

"I don't know really. When he doesn't realize anyone is looking at him his eyes are filled with a deep sense of loss. He seems almost hollow inside. He'll smile at you when you talk to him, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes. It's almost like something very bad happened to him and he won't talk about it. It's ridiculous really, I mean what could have happened to him?" she asked rhetorically. "But still my heart aches to see him so miserable."

Morgana understood exactly what Gwen was talking about, but for different reasons. She had dreamed of Merlin and those dreams were both frightening and confusing. In the past when she had dreams that ultimately came true, they were clear, more like visions of events that had yet to pass than actual dreams. The thing that made her 'vision-dreams' stand out were the strong feelings associated with them. The dream she had of Merlin was convoluted, like a distorted nightmare. The scenery changed instantly and even the sequence of events made no sense. The dream was graphic and terrifying, and it had very strong emotions associated with it making her fear that it could come true.

She hadn't had the dream until the night after she found the blood on the flagstone outside the stables which was unsettling. Her dreams had always been about future events. She needed to speak with Gaius about this; not only for Gwen's sake, but for Arthur as well. Morgana and Arthur may have a tremulous relationship at times, but she could always read his emotions. He may never openly admit it, but he was very fond of Merlin, and she could plainly see that he was worried about him, as was she, only Morgana's concern had a deeper source.


Uther and Arthur rode in silence as they patrolled the western arm of the kingdom. Uther could see that his son was preoccupied, and based on a discussion he had with Morgana he thought he knew what the problem was. He rode up along side of Arthur. "Morgana tells me that your man servant, Merlin, has taken ill"

Arthur sat up straighter in his saddle and looked over at his father. He wasn't sure he wanted to talk about any of this with the king, not only because he actually was concerned about his Merlin, but because of the conversation he had with Gaius when he had gone to see him before he'd left for patrol. Both he and the court physician had come to an unsubstantiated yet very troubling conclusion about what could have caused Merlin's illness.

If it were true that Merlin's illness was the result of magic, Arthur was unsure how his father would react to that information. The king had been willing to let Merlin die after he drank from the poisoned chalice when Bayard had come to Camelot. In fact his father had attempted to make Merlin's death a reality in order to teach Arthur a lesson. Arthur hesitated in his answer as he mulled through what he was willing to disclose about Merlin's condition, but Uther pressed on.

"What is wrong with him; does Gaius know?"

Clearly his father was not going to let the matter drop. "Gaius said that he is a… anemic?" Arthur said trying to remember the unfamiliar word. He was about to explain when Uther interrupted in a surprised tone.

"Wasn't Merlin working in the stables the night before Morgana found the blood pool? Was he the one who was injured?"

At Arthur's stunned expression Uther continued. "I am familiar with anemia having suffered from it after being wounded in battle. Why would you not tell me about this? We still have the royal guard out searching for a body."

Arthur glanced back to make sure that the guard accompanying them were far enough back not to over hear their conversation.

"Merlin has no wound. There is no indication that he is the one who was attacked at the stables, nor has he any memory of being attacked."

Uther was the one who looked confused now. "Does Gaius have an explanation for his anemia?"

Arthur shook his head. "He can find no scientific or medical reason for Merlin's condition and it isn't just the anemia. He is also suffering from some kind of profound melancholy. No one has died and he has suffered no traumatic loss, but he is acting as though…" Arthur trailed off not wanting to complete the thought as he gazed out over the wheat fields they were traveling beside.

Arthur was more than just troubled by his servant's illness. This went deeper. "He is acting as though…?" Uther prompted.

Arthur turned to face to his father and said, "… as though he has nothing to live for." As soon as the words were spoken he had a feeling that by uttering them they had a chance of becoming reality and he shifted uncomfortably in his saddle.

Uther understood why Arthur was concerned. He had experienced great loss in his lifetime and was painfully familiar with how close a person can come to wishing for death to take them, but Merlin was not dead and there were too many coincidences to be ignored. It was time to bring the conversation back to the point.

"If there is no medical or scientific reason for this anemia or the melancholy then what does Gaius believe caused it? Does he suspect sorcery?"

"He can't prove that, but it seems like a viable explanation." Arthur was frustrated that his father could so easily steer the conversation in a direction he didn't want it to go. "It makes no sense! Why would a sorcerer target Merlin?"

Uther suddenly remembered the conversation he had with Merlin as he prepared to fight the wraith of Tristan Dubois. There was a 'bond' between Arthur and his man servant.

"Perhaps it has less to do with Merlin, and more to do with you."

Arthur was clearly confused by this connection and shook his head. "How does attacking Merlin affect me?"

Uther loved his son and had a great deal of pride in him, but there were times that he failed to see the bigger picture.

"Gaius and I have known each other for over twenty years, and I not only respect his opinion, I have come to rely on him and consider him a friend. This is not wholly unlike the relationship you share with Merlin. It is possible that a sorcerer could try to get to you through the bond you share with him, and that is a risk that I am unwilling to take."

The conversation had turned in the direction that Arthur was afraid of, and he turned an accusing eye upon his father. "Meaning what? If Merlin were attacked with or without magic that is no fault of his, and you can not take him to task for it or…"

"Arthur, you are the Crown-Prince of Camelot. Your safety is paramount."

Arthur pulled on the reins and stopped his horse. He was not going to allow his father to try and eliminate a threat to him by eliminating someone who had done nothing wrong.

"Not at the expense of an innocent man's life. What kind of king would I make if I cared so little for the lives of the people whom I rule. Merlin is not a knight and sworn to die in my service. I will not allow you to hurt him because of an unsubstantiated threat to me."

Uther was genuinely taken aback by Arthur's challenge. "I had no intention of harming the boy, but if there is magic being used to get to you we have to be aware of it and take precautions."

Satisfied, for the moment, that his father was not going to try to have Merlin killed, he kicked the flanks of his horse back into motion. The fact that a magical attack against Merlin could be a prelude to an attack against him gave Arthur a slight flutter in his gut. He was a brave warrior and felt he was equal or better in a fight with any foe, but he would have little recourse if he were to be attacked magically, and Arthur's instinct was to deny the possibility.

"What precautions could we take? I just don't see how making Merlin anemic and depressed can be a threat to me."

"You have never dealt with the heart of magic. Magic is evil, Arthur, and a sorcerer can use dubious ways to strike at you. The curfew must remain in place, and you need to take extra care. This may not be the work of a sorcerer, but if it is, I have no doubt that you are in very real danger, and I can not have that."

Uther kicked the flanks of his horse stepping up the pace, feeling a need to get Arthur back inside the relative safety of Camelot.


Morgana wanted to see Gaius immediately after her discussion with Gwen and went straight to his chambers only to find that the court physician was gone; busy with his own duties, so she resigned herself to wait for him. She stepped out to the upper balcony overlooking the courtyard. It was hot, but thankfully there was a breeze that blew her long dark hair back away from her neck. From her vantage point she could see a fair amount of the city below and she marveled at how life just carried on oblivious to the churning in her heart - so many people living busy lives filled with happiness, or sorrow, but marching ever onward.

As she raised her face to the sun she caught sight of a lone slender figure sitting on the parapet of the east tower and knew it was Merlin. For a moment she had an overwhelming fear that he would lean forward and plummet to the ground, and it caught her off-guard as she grabbed hold of the railing and gasped. Gaius had just walked up the steps that led to the balcony and heard her nearly silent exclamation. He followed her line of sight and he too saw the young man sitting there.

Gaius felt a flutter in his own heart at seeing his nephew sitting so high above the ground in his current state of mind. Merlin may be rash at times, but Gaius honestly didn't believe that he would throw himself from the tower. He still took a moment to watch the lone figure for a moment longer before firmly deciding that he was just sitting there looking out over the city.

"Morgana, what brings you here today?" He asked, as he approached her. When she turned around and looked at Gaius with troubled eyes he stepped closer. "Are you feeling alright, my dear?"

The Lady Morgana was normally so secure in herself, but not when it came to her dreams. They had always frightened her and this newest dream was no exception. Wringing her hands she said, "I need to speak with you." She looked around at the bustling activity all around them before she continued. "…privately."

"What is it? Are you having trouble sleeping again? I could give you a stronger sleeping drought." Gaius spoke, as he preceded her up the curving staircase leading to his chambers.

Once inside and behind closed doors Morgana took a seat on one of the benches near the physician's reading table. "No, I don't think that would be wise."

This surprised Gaius as she had never seemed to question his ministrations before. "Are they making you ill?"

"No, it's just that I think maybe I should stop taking anything until I can understand what I'm dreaming."

Gaius felt a tingle go up his spine. He knew that Morgana had the seers' sight and if she was dreaming again, it didn't bode well for whom ever it was she was dreaming about.

"Perhaps you should tell me about your dream."

Morgana was reluctant to speak of it, which astonished him considering the nature of the other dreams she had no qualms of revealing. "You know that you can trust me, Morgana."

"Yes, I know. It's just that in this dream; Merlin dies."

Fear and consternation shot through Gaius. "Please, Morgana, tell me what you have seen."

"It isn't clear like my other dreams. I thought perhaps it's because of the sleeping potions I have been taking. This dream jumps from place to place and it's disjointed."

Seeing Gaius waiting for her to elaborate with urgency in his expression she plunged ahead. "I see Merlin in a sword fight, in the forest; I see him in the city impaled in his chest, with a woman standing over him; and I see a horribly scarred man talking about someone whom I have never heard of, but, Gaius, it always ends the same; with Merlin's death."

The fear turned to a prickling that raised the hairs on the back of Gaius' neck. "Can you tell me a little more about this dream?" he encouraged her.

"It's all mixed up, Gaius. It starts out in the forest, and Merlin is stabbed during a sword fight, then that horrible man with the scar is there, but Merlin isn't. Then Merlin is falling only he isn't in the forest anymore, but somewhere inside Camelot and the woman is standing over him. She kills him Gaius, I see that very clearly."

Morgana was becoming hysterical and sounded on the verge of tears, and while Gaius was as concerned as Morgana he needed to remain calm. "Morgana, what did this woman look like? Can you describe her?"

"It was that servant girl from Bayard's court; the one who poisoned Arthur's goblet. Gaius, in my dream I see it happen; I see him dead!"

Gaius felt as though his stomach had dropped to his feet. Morgana's visions were seldom wrong, even if this one was convoluted and confusing. The mention of the scarred man was perplexing though.

"Can you tell me what the scarred man looks like and what he says in the dream?"

Morgana looked uncertainly at Gaius. She seemed more reluctant to speak of this part of her dream, which was odd to Gaius. How could seeing this stranger be more disturbing to her than seeing her maid's best friend die? She bowed her head and took a deep breath to steady her frazzled nerves.

"The man is standing in a part of the forest I've never seen. It's really quite lovely – the glade he is standing in. He is wearing a huge black cloak that makes him look like a bear. He has a scar that runs all the way down his face from his forehead through his left eye and down his cheek. He says that Emerys can not be swayed to your will, but I have no idea who Emerys is? It makes no sense."

"When did you have this dream Morgana?"

"I have had the same dream every night since I saw all of that blood at the stables. What does this mean, Gaius? Is this just a nightmare?" Morgan asked, in a pleading voice.

Morgana had described Morthwyl, once lord of the druids, and Emerys was the name the druids used when speaking of Merlin. Gaius had no doubt that Morthwyl had something to do with what had happened, for Morgana's dreams were frighteningly accurate, but what role could the ancient druid have played? If the injury she saw where Merlin lay in the city with Nimueh was a part of Morgana's vision and if it referred to the incident in front of the stables then it was a past event, but a sword fight in the forest would have to be a future event. Morthwyl could be either.

This couldn't be simply a product of Morgana's subconscious; one that incorporated her shock at her gruesome discovery and her concern for Merlin because the girl had no knowledge of the druid. The thought of Merlin engaging in battle outside the walls of Camelot, however, was ludicrous yet there were elements to her story that fit with the recent discovery at the stables.

"Morgana, this is just a dream that encompasses the waking thoughts in your mind. You are worried about Merlin, we all are, and you are still feeling the effects of your discovery at the stables."

Gaius rose to get another sleeping drought for her, but there was a part of him that wanted to know if Morgana was actually seeing the future or the past and what it could all mean. That desire was overridden by the fact that she was still his patient and she needed to be able to rid herself of these dreams. Her very sanity could hang in the balance if her reactions were any indication.

"Here take this before you go to sleep. It should help." he said, as he handed her a new vile from his store of elixirs. "If you have any more dreams about this, please tell me about them. I do believe that they are just that; dreams, but having someone to share them with may very well be therapeutic and help to cease them.

Morgana had already decided that she wouldn't take the potion, but she wasn't about to tell Gaius that, so she took the vial and thanked him before leaving.


After having spoken to Morgana, Gaius was now completely convinced that Nimueh had done something to Merlin that caused him to lose his magical abilities, but he still did not know how. She was a powerful sorceress with a clear grudge against Merlin for thwarting her plans repeatedly, but none of that explained her failure to act now that Merlin no longer possessed the ability to stop her. He knew that he should bring his suspicions to Uther about her involvement, but he still had no proof of her hand in what had happened, at least not proof that he could disclose to the king.

Uther and the royal guard had returned early from patrol and Gaius was not particularly surprised when he was summoned to the great hall soon afterward. He would need to be very careful in what he said to the king. Loyalty to Uther was of great importance to Gaius, but protecting Merlin and his secret was of far greater significance. As he was ushered into the room he bowed deeply to both Uther and Arthur and said, "Sire, you summoned?"

Uther was a man of action and few words, so he got straight to the point. "I have spoken with Arthur about the situation with Merlin. Do you believe that there is sorcery at work here, and if so to what end?"

Gaius was careful to look Uther straight in the eye as he spoke. "Merlin is suffering from anemia that has no apparent cause, but there is no concrete evidence to support sorcery being used. It is, however, a possible explanation, but to what end remains a mystery. There is only one person whom I can think of who would hold true animosity toward Merlin, and would also have the power to enter Camelot without being seen."

"Are you talking about Nimueh?" Uther wanted to know.

"She has reason to view Merlin as an obstacle, Sire. He has thwarted her plans in the past. He and Arthur went into the cistern tunnels and defeated the afanc that she created to put a scourge on the city, and again when he stopped Arthur from drinking from the chalice that she poisoned and was given to him by Bayard."

Uther wanted to have solid answers not guesses and suppositions. "Was the blood found outside the royal stables, Merlin's?"

"Sire, without evidence of a wound I can not say that the blood found by Morgana was his. I suppose it is possible that Nimueh injured Merlin; it would certainly account for his symptoms, but the lack of either a wound to account for those symptoms or his death by said injury would suggest otherwise."

This was where things made as little sense to Uther as they did to Arthur. "Could she have mortally wounded him and then healed the wound?"

"When I first considered that Nimueh might have a hand in this, I couldn't fathom why she would do such a thing, but I have developed a theory about that. Do you remember the tooth that Arthur found?" At Uther's nod he continued. "The tip of that tooth was broken off; it's missing. This can not be a mere coincidence. While I can find no reference to a spell or incantation that would use the tooth of a dragon to cast an enchantment, I think that it might be possible that is what has occurred."

Uther had begun pacing as he listened to Gaius, and he stopped abruptly turning back to face the court physician.

"Enchantment? You think that she has somehow used the dragon's tooth to enchant the boy? He is very close to Arthur. Perhaps she is planning to use Merlin as a weapon. He cleans Arthur's bed chambers, he dresses him in the mornings, he has closer proximity to him than anyone else."

Both Gaius and Arthur looked at Uther, disturbed by that leap of reasoning. Uther was casting a very unfavorable light on Merlin because he didn't nor couldn't have all of the facts. Gaius jumped in quickly with an alternative explanation.

"While it is possible that Merlin has been enchanted, I find no evidence to support that as a fact. If he has been enchanted in some way I honestly believe it is not in the manner in which you assume. The tooth could be what has caused his malaise. She would want him to suffer for upsetting her plans and, Sire, he is suffering. Her lack of response, the fact that she has not tried to attack you, Arthur, or Camelot since this incident suggests that if she is indeed involved, her plans include Merlin alone."

While what his father said made a certain amount of sense, Arthur found it hard to believe that Merlin could be used as a weapon against him.

"He brought me my breakfast this morning and there was nothing wrong with it. He has been alone with me on two separate occasions since this attack but he has shown no sign or inclination what so ever of trying to harm me or even coerce me into doing anything. If Merlin was the one attacked at the stables, he has shown no signs of being enchanted into doing any harm to anyone. Rather he is acting as though he were broken; lost in some nightmare that he can not wake from."

Uther turned his full attention to Arthur at this revelation. "You think he is living in some sort of nightmare? What do you mean by this?"

Arthur knew he had made an impression and was willing to capitalize on that fact.

"Father you have not seen him. He is afraid, but of what I have no idea, nor does Gaius. I thought that perhaps he had seen what happened at the stables and blocked the memory of it. Gaius thinks that could be a reasonable explanation for the fear I have seen lurking behind his eyes, but he is no threat, to me or to this kingdom. What ever demons he is fighting they are within himself."

Uther was unconvinced. "That may be true, but until we have some solid answers I do not want Merlin anywhere near you, Arthur. It may not be his fault, but he still poses an unacceptable risk to you."

Arthur laughed at that notion. "Merlin? A risk to me? Father, that is ridiculous. He's as weak as a kitten and couldn't hurt a fly, even if he wanted to."

Gaius nodded and spoke up to support what Arthur had said. "This is true, Sire. Merlin barely has enough energy to make it through to midday without needing to rest."

Arthur pressed his point, willing to give his father some assurances in order to bring this to an end.

"If it will make you feel better I can deal with having someone else clean my bed chamber, but to take away his job, just because he may or may not be enchanted would be the final blow to his morale which is already low. Merlin situation does not warrant suspicion. He has been a loyal servant to Camelot and he doesn't deserve to be tossed out like so much rubbish based on a theory. No offense Gaius."

Gaius nodded toward Arthur. "None taken, my Lord."

Arthur was displaying the hardheaded stubbornness that he had rightfully inherited from his father, and he would not allow the king's fear of magic to drive what he considered the final nail into an innocent man's coffin. "In case you had forgotten, father, I am Camelot's champion, and I am capable of taking care of myself."


Uther paced the great hall after Gaius and Arthur had left feeling frustrated with his son for his stubborn refusal to even consider the risk of having his man servant near him when he could be enchanted. Uther lifted a goblet to his lips not really tasting the wine it held as his thoughts churned restlessly. His concern for Arthur and for Camelot and what could happen should Nimueh decide to strike again sent a cold tingling down his spine despite the late afternoon heat.

Shaking himself of the chill he felt he began pacing again. Though Arthur wouldn't admit it, the bond between his son and his servant was stronger than Uther had realized which unnerved him somewhat. Uther had no doubt that Merlin was a good person and it was obvious that he was absolutely loyal to Arthur, but as he had tried to tell Arthur so many times, the heart of a sorcerer was twisted and evil. This is just such ploy that Nimueh would use to harm Arthur.

A sudden breeze wafting in through the high window made him spin around suddenly and for a moment he thought he saw her standing there smiling at him they way she had done the night before Arthur was to fight the wraith of Tristan Dubois. Uther was angry with himself for jumping at imagined specters even as his thoughts turned back to the nemesis of his heart. Nimueh had said that Arthur was not destined to die at her hands, and she had told Arthur the same thing when he had gone to find the cure for the poison that Merlin drank to keep Arthur from dieing. Perhaps he was allowing his fear of magic to cloud his judgment.

Uther trusted Gaius implicitly when it came to matters of magic and the court physician had assured him that whatever Nimueh may have done to Merlin, he was no threat to Arthur. That is the only reason he had finally relented, and allowed Arthur to keep his servant. Looking once more at the end of the long table where she had stood, taunting him, the anger welled up inside again. He needed to get out of the castle, out of that room where her voice still echoed in his mind.

Uther stepped out onto the main bailey and saw Merlin still sitting atop the parapet of the east tower. The boy had such a profound despair lurking about him that even forty feet below it was almost palpable. Merlin's obvious pain brought back poignant memories for the king of his own despondency after Igraine had died. Merlin, for all of his faults, had proven his loyalty not only to Arthur, but to Camelot, much the way Gaius had always shown him. Coming to a decision that may have surprised some, Uther climbed the stairs leading to the parapet surrounding the tower.

Merlin sat with his knees pulled up against his chest watching an oblivious Camelot passing by; unknowing, uncaring. An almost constant breeze blew his hair back from his forehead while the late afternoon sun began to decend behind the tower casting a warm glow out toward the countryside. Silent tears wet his cheeks as he gazed out over a city that could neither feel nor even understand his pain and loss. The young man was so mired in his own thoughts that he didn't notice Uther standing behind him until the king spoke.

"It is a magnificent view." Uther said, softly.

Merlin was startled to realize that he wasn't alone, wiping at his face with his sleeve, and stood quickly when he heard the king speak. "Your Majesty."

Uther had seen the unfathomable sorrow in Merlin's eyes before the young man averted his face. The king didn't mention it, but continued speaking as though he had not witnessed seeing Merlin's heart laid bare. "I used to come up here when Arthur was just a baby after his mother died, but I couldn't see the beauty in the world looking back at me."

Merlin stared out over the city understanding exactly what the king meant, for he saw no allure in the view as he once had.

"I do not pretend to understand what causes your melancholy; I can only offer you the knowledge that with time it will ease."

Uther didn't really know if that statement was true, but he hoped it to be so. Merlin looked back at Uther wondering what had prompted the king of Camelot to try and console a mere servant. Uther almost seemed to read his mind.

"You have been a loyal servant and friend to Arthur, and I believe he's worried about you."

Then Uther did something that Merlin would never forget. He placed a hand on the young man's shoulder in a fatherly gesture and said, "Camelot is a truly remarkable place, and if you allow it, she will begin to heal your broken heart." Then the king turned his face back into the breeze looking out over his city. "It has been too long since I gazed upon Camelot from this perspective."

The king said nothing else; standing in companionable silence with the young servant beside him. Once the initial feeling of awkwardness of having Uther, whom he had always considered to be somewhat ruthless, come and offer him a kind word, Merlin looked out over the landscape trying to appreciate it's grandeur.

After a time Uther turned and left the young man to his own thoughts, but once more Merlin was so embroiled in his own inner turmoil he barely noticed the king's departure. Merlin finally began to understand why Gaius was devoted to Uther. There was a man underneath the hard outer surface that he presented to the world. For the first time in his life, Merlin got a glimpse of the man behind the king and wondered if he was now destined to end up jaded and hard the way Uther was.
TBC