A/N: Thank you all for your reviews. This chapter is a monster and very long which hopefully will hold you over for a little while. My 4 year old is just getting over the H1N1 virus (he was running incredible temps – 107.2 at it's highest) and now it looks like I have contracted it as well. I will be necessarily taking a break from the writing.

I wish to thank my betas again for all their help. They are the glue that keeps me on track.


Chapter Eight

Morthwyl stood silently in an empty courtyard of stone and grass facing a rectangular stone dais. He had waited for hours, still as the stone arches surrounding the courtyard, knowing full well that Nimueh would answer his summons. As the sun slipped down past the walls of stone casting long shadows across the grass, she appeared out of thin air. This was her element, Morthwyl was not in his forest; his power was no match for hers in this place. Her confidence was clear as she approached the inanimate figure, but her strutting gate slowed as she drew closer. The old druid lowered his hood and stared at her with black smoldering eyes. Those eyes held a warning as well as anger.

"Your folly has come back on you, Nimueh. Did you not sense his fury when he discovered your artifice?"

Nimueh paused for a moment. She had no notion of what Morthwyl was talking about. She knew that Merlin had descended into a deep depression after losing his magic. She knew that Uther suspected him of being enchanted and wanted to ostracize him from his son, Arthur, which worked to her advantage. She was planning to visit Merlin that night with an answer to his problems - a cure that came with a price.

She had wiped the boy's memory of the incident in front of the stables. Her plan had worked brilliantly - now this druid claimed that Merlin knew what had happened. She found that hard to believe. She had kept a close watch on Merlin and Camelot through sorcery, and the boy had spoken to no one of her attack on him. It is true that she should have cleaned up the blood spilt, but there was the sound of running feet and she didn't want to be seen, so she left it. She knew that it had been discovered, but no one had any idea where it had come from. The physician suspected that Merlin was involved, but without a wound he had no evidence and thus no idea what to think.

"Why do you say this? I have been watching, and Merlin knows nothing! He only knows that he is miserable."

The pure contempt that washed over Morthwyl's face offended Nimueh. Did he not know with whom he was dealing? His words ground like broken glass against her nerves and yet a small part of her heart worried that they were true.

"You have allowed your lust for vengeance to cloud your perceptions. Emerys knows that you attacked him. He knows that you are responsible for his power's absence. He knows why you have done this. His anger sent a surge of fury through the veil of magic that imbues the earth itself, and when he is found worthy, you and I will both pay the price for your imprudence."

Nimueh couldn't - she wouldn't - believe what she had heard. She waved her hands and spoke an incantation over the stone dais in front of her. A shallow bowl appeared; filled with a smooth dark liquid. As she spoke the liquid began to swirl and an image formed. Merlin was sitting in Gaius' chambers as the physician looked through books. The old man's words caught her by surprise and turned her blood cold.

"The translation is rough, but 'Astandan ac folgian min gefadung' means 'Memory denied this night' or using the vernacular 'Deny your memory of this night'. She wanted you to have no memory of the attack, but she must have preformed the spell incorrectly, for you did remember. As a nightmare rather than as an actual event, but you remembered it nonetheless."

"Why would she do that?"

"So that she could come to your rescue. I think she means to try to heal your suffering to gain your confidence. That could very well be why she has targeted you alone. If she could gain your trust she would have a direct line to Arthur and consequently, Uther."

She focused on Merlin's face. The pure smoldering outrage reflected in his blue eyes sent a shiver down her spine. They held the same look which, for the briefest of moments, she had seen after she cast the spell to wipe Merlin's memory. Nimueh looked up at Morthwyl in frustration.

Morthwyl just stared back at her with disdain. "You are a fool, Nimueh. You have set events in motion that cannot be stopped."

He raised the hood of his cloak and once again the druid was gone with a blink of an eye. Nimueh slammed her hand down on the dais as she realized her plans were once again thwarted by the boy sorcerer. She would let him rot before she would recant the spell now. He could live out the rest of his days without magic for all she cared. At least he would no longer get in her way.


.


Morgana knew that Merlin would need to rest. He looked dreadful but the first part of her dream rose up in her mind. She spoke to Merlin in a timorous voice.

"You must be careful, Merlin. This isn't over yet."

Gaius shot her a warning look. Merlin had quite enough to deal with at the moment. Morgana bowed her head in submission and wished them both good day as she left.

The afternoon had crept up on them so quickly that Gaius was surprised to find the sun so far past its zenith. Merlin had gone up to his room and sat on the bed staring at his hands. Gaius walked over to the stairs leading up to his room and watched him for a moment before speaking.

"Morgana was right, Merlin. This isn't over, but I promise you, I will find a way to restore your magic."

Merlin barely nodded in acknowledgement of what Gaius had said. After a few moments he lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, leaving Gaius standing at the base of the short staircase feeling dreadful for the boy. The physician spent the next two hours scouring every text he could find that dealt with binding magic, but could find no counter spell. He looked through every text and scroll he had that discussed the human heart praying that he could find some way to medically extract the tooth from his nephew's heart, but none existed. To cut into the boy's chest would spell his death. By the time he'd given in to his fruitless searches the sun was creeping low into the western sky.

Merlin still slept in his bed so Gaius set about making a fire in the hearth so he could prepare dinner. As he worked, a knock at the door announced Arthur's return.

"How is Merlin doing?"

Gaius stood up from the pot of stew he had just put on to heat. "He is sleeping and has been for the last few hours. He told me about the sparing practice this morning."

Arthur wasn't sure that Gaius approved, considering the fact that it seemed to have contributed to Merlin's fatigue.

"Yes, well, I thought that it might help his confidence if he felt like he could defend himself. Honestly, Gaius, I really just wanted to get a reaction from him. He has been so polite the last week that I don't think I could have stood it for much longer. He did seem to enjoy the practice this morning."

Gaius was smiling as Arthur spoke. "Actually he did enjoy the session, although it wore him out quite a bit. I'm glad that you tried to bolster his confidence; that was a wise choice."

Arthur looked around at the physician's chambers and saw what looked like every book imaginable pulled out and opened. The book closest to where he stood was opened to a page with a very detailed illustration of a human heart that was cut in half lengthwise. He grimaced at the sight. "Have you figured out a way to help him yet?"

Gaius set the spoon that he had used to stir the stew down on the table and sighed.

"Sadly, no. The dragon's tooth is embedded inside of his heart. There is no way for me to remove it without killing him. I can find no reference to any magic that will help either." At Arthur's surprised look he quickly added, "Not that I could use a magical cure to his ailment in any case."

"So that's it? There is nothing you can do for him?" Arthur asked incredulously.

The prince looked up, and just past Gaius' shoulder he saw Merlin standing there at the base of the stairs leading up into his room. The look on his face was one of disbelief and betrayal. Gaius turned and saw Merlin as well and his heart sank. Merlin said nothing, he simply turned and walked back up to his room and closed the door behind him. Both Gaius and Arthur heard him fasten the lock then heard nothing more.

Merlin ignored Gaius' attempts to coax him from his room to eat or to talk. He closed his ears as Gaius explained how hard he had searched for a remedy to the spell Nimueh had cast. He sat in his room allowing his anger to build. He was angry with Gaius for making a promise that he couldn't keep, but he was furious at Nimueh for doing this to him in the first place. The fear he felt at the prospect of never having magic again caused the anger to swell in his heart until he felt he couldn't stand it any longer. It was as though his world was heaving from one extreme to the next. His anger would ebb as his energy waned and would give way to fatigue and depression, until the complete injustice of it all reasserted itself and his anger returned in full force.

In one of his fits of fury Merlin didn't even realize what he was doing until he had almost finished packing. He had his sleeping roll tied on top of his bag while all of his clothes, totaling three shirts and two spare pair of pants along with other items were stuffed into the backpack. He looked through the room, which was pretty bare, and saw the board that covered the compartment in the floor where his hid the book of magic that Gaius had given him. He made a move to retrieve it, but stopped as another wave of depression fell over him. It was his most prized possession and yet he had no use for a book such as that anymore. It might as well stay hidden - buried in the floor - a fitting grave for the tome, along with the rest of his former life.

Gaius had been called urgently to attend one of the ill gentry and Merlin used that opportunity to slip out unseen. He grabbed up a few pieces of bread that Gaius had set out next to the now cooling pot of stew. He also took one of Gaius' lidded medicine boxes and poured some stew into it then tied the lid on tightly with some string, wrapped it in a large cloth and placed it and the bread carefully in the bottom of his backpack.

It was after dusk and the curfew was now in effect so he would need to very carefully move through the city. There was still enough light that he could be seen by any of the guards which made his passage through the courtyard extremely risky. He held his pack in one hand as he laid his back against the wall near the steps of the main keep until the patrolling guards had made their way through the courtyard and turned down toward the stables. He used the opportunity to slip through the courtyard and past the market place stopping only twice to duck down behind carts as more of the royal guard passed by. By the time he had made it to the main gates of the city it was not quite dark but the shadows were beginning to blend into to the dim lighting of the clouds still illuminated by the sun that had already set.

There was no way that he could slip by the two guards standing sentry at the gates. He would have used magic to slip past if he had it to call forth, but as it was he needed to rely on other skills. Not far past the drawbridge there were a collection of barrels haphazardly stacked. If he couldn't get past the guards then he would have to get the guards to move. Setting his backpack down, Merlin looked around but could only see a couple of small stones, barely larger than pebbles. He needed something with some serious heft if he wanted to create enough of a commotion to get both guards to leave their post.

He backed slowly away from the gates and slipped around the corner leading back into the market place. Once there, he had to be careful of the patrolling guard, but they seemed to have gone through the market place already and shouldn't be back around again for a little while. He found a stack of brick and mortar used by one of the four masons in Camelot. He picked up two heavy bricks and as carefully and silently as possible he went back to the main gates. He had to think this through because he had only one chance to get past these guards without being seen.

Taking careful aim, Merlin stepped almost out of the shadow of the wall and threw the first brick as hard as he could toward the barrels. The brick sailed just over the top of them impacting the wall with a loud clatter before falling down behind them. Both of the guards turned toward the sound, but it was now full dark and they couldn't find the source of the disturbance. Merlin aimed lower and hurled the second brick which connected solidly with one of the barrels on the top of the stack and sent the entire section tumbling to the ground.

Both of the guards at the gate ran toward the commotion as Merlin was sure the patrolling guards would also do. He grabbed his pack and slipped away as the guards passed him, headed toward the now rolling and falling pile of barrels. He ran across the drawbridge as fast as he could, knowing that the sounds of the falling barrels would cover the sound of his flight. He didn't stop running until he had gained the safety of the trees a hundred yards off where he slid down behind a large trunk to catch his breath.

Once he was far enough away from the city to be confident that he wouldn't be spotted, he began walking. Merlin didn't think about what direction he was headed when he left Camelot behind; his mind a jumble of turmoil. He felt alone, vulnerable, and scared, but those emotions did battle in his heart with anger and a feeling of betrayal. 'How could Gaius have lied to me about this? How could he make a promise that he had no real hope of keeping?'

The sweltering heat of the past two weeks still felt oppressive even after the sun had gone down, but Merlin hardly noticed as he trudged through the forest to the main road leading to the north and home.

He was fatigued from the deluge of emotions rushing through him like waves in a turbulent sea and the heat and the heavy pack he carried sapped him of strength as the evening wore on into night. After walking for an hour he could go no further and decided to stop for a break and something to eat.

As tired as he was he didn't want to stop for long. He felt naked without his magic and every sound in the forest made him jump. After sitting with his back against a tree for almost half an hour, jolted by every sound of the nocturnal forest coming to life, Merlin was ready to get up and continue his journey. At least as he walked, he heard less of the sounds that made him flinch with alarm.

The day's heat had finally given way to cooler temperatures, and a clear sky as night fully engulfed the forest. Following the road without much thought to direction was almost a relief for him. A full moon on a cloudless night lit the way adequately enough for the young man, and he once again allowed his mind to sift through everything that had happened over the last several days. Even though he was still suffering the effects of anemia, his anger supplied sufficient energy to keep him going. Half an hour later a wagon rolled up the road from behind, nearly running him over.

"Whoa there!" the wagon driver shouted as he caught sight of the lone figure walking down the road.

The near collision took Merlin by surprise and quickly pulled him from his revere. He spun around startled and looking to the driver as though he would faint of fright.

"I'm fair sorry tae've scared yer, I didn't see yer in the dark there."

The wagon driver could see Merlin clearly in the moonlight and realized that he was barely more than a boy, his pale complexion making him seem even younger than his nineteen years. "What be yer doin' walking the road alone at night, lad?"

When Merlin spoke his voice had a slight quiver in it as he tried to slow down his racing heart. "I.. I'm just going home."

The man leaned down and looked more closely at Merlin as if sizing him up, then he held out his hand. "Odin Gillivray. (1) I'm headed down to West Shireton and ken drop yer anywhere between here and there if yer'd like."

"Merlin." the young man introduced himself, "and thank you I'm not going quite as far as that. My village is Elador."

Taking Merlin's hand, Odin shuttered at how cold the boy was. He reached behind him and pulled out a blanket and tossed it down to his would-be passenger. "Yer cold as ice there. Hop up in back and get yerself covered up."

Merlin caught the blanket easily and gratefully climbed up in the back of the wagon. There were boxes and crates of several shapes and sizes in the back of the wagon emitting such a variety of strong odors that it made the young man re-think the offer of a ride. The back corner on the right, however, was piled high with fresh hay that looked very inviting.

Once the adrenalin of his anger and sudden fright at nearly being run down had left him, Merlin was hit with an all encompassing fatigue. He could use a few minutes to lay his head down despite the odor. Odin chatted amiably for almost half an hour talking about his trade route and the fact that he normally stopped in the village of Elador. The man had a pleasant enough voice and the rocking motion of the cart soon found the young man fast asleep.

It was just past dawn when Odin reached over and shook Merlin awake. "Yae be home there, young Merlin, or at the vera least but a wee distance. D'yer feel any better then? Yer slept like the dead, yer did."

Merlin blinked rapidly trying to shake the sleep from his eyes as he looked around. It took him a moment to recognize his surroundings. They were still on the main road but he knew this area very well. Childhood memories rushed to the forefront of his mind. To the left of the main road was a smaller dirt path that led to a steep hill with a large solitary apple tree overlooking a thicket of forested land that opened up to an expanse of wide fields and the small farming community he had grown up in.

Merlin remembered many fine summer days climbing the branches of the gnarled old tree, and in the fall claiming its juicy bounty for an afternoon snack. He was home. That revelation struck him so strongly that his eyes prickled with pent up emotion. He climbed down from the wagon, and breathed deeply the sweet scent of the long sage grasses that blanketed the hill leading to hearth and home.

"Thank you for the ride, Odin."

"Dunnae mention it. Yer take car o' yerself there, young Merlin." The old man called as he pulled away and headed further north.

The sun was rising quickly, heralding the busy morning activities of village life. Small children were already out and running around as the villagers began their morning routines. As he approached his childhood home, Merlin caught sight of his mother pulling down wash that had been hung out to dry overnight. The smell of fresh baked bread wafted through the air and brought a rush of nostalgia to his senses. He had only been gone for seven months, but it felt like a lifetime had passed by. For a fleeting moment he wondered if his mother would even recognize him, until she turned to go back inside and caught sight of her son walking toward her.

"Merlin?" Hunith said, in disbelief, and then she dropped her basket and ran with out-stretched arms to her child "Merlin!"

The embrace of his mother brought a torrent of mixed emotions to the young warlock. He felt relief that she welcomed him without reservation, a release of anxiety at being in familiar surroundings, an overwhelming joy at seeing his mother and his childhood home again; all underlying the deep sadness at having lost an essential and vital part of himself. For the moment, as he held his mother tightly, he wished with all of his heart that he had never left his home and ventured out into the world. He never even felt the tears well up in his eyes and roll down his cheeks. Finally she stood back from her son looking him over noting his pale complexion, his cold hands, the pained expression on his face, his tears and the unfathomable sadness in his eyes. The first thought that she had was for her brother.

"Oh, Merlin, what is it? Is Gaius alright?"

Her concern confused him for a moment until he realized that she must have thought the worst to have him show up like this unexpectedly. "He's fine, Mother." At her uncertain look he added, "Honestly, he is probably just getting up right now."

"You look exhausted, come inside and let me make you some breakfast."

As Hunith led her son back to the thatched hut he had grown up in, Merlin automatically reached down and collected the basket his mother had dropped. He was now accustomed to picking up discarded items having been Arthur's servant for the last several months and his automatic action was not lost on his mother.

"Why have you come, Merlin? What is wrong?"

Merlin deposited the wash basket in the corner as they entered the hut and shrugged off his pack placing it next to the basket. "Do I need a reason to visit my mother?"

She turned and looked at him with the same suspicious gaze that Gaius so often bestowed upon him, but after a moment she looked away and began to cut slices off the freshly baked bread that she had made. "I suppose you don't, but this is a bit unexpected. Never-the-less, sit down and tell me how are you?"

"I'm fine, Mother."

She didn't believe him for a second. He not only looked ill, he had an intense despair in his eyes that pained her heart to see. She began to wonder if sending her son away to Camelot had been a bad decision. "And how is Gaius?"

"He is well."

Merlin's short answers were starting to worry her and she decided to stop beating around the bush. "What happened between you and Gaius? He hasn't been unkind to you?"

That was the last thing that Merlin had expected to hear and quickly came to his uncle's defense. "No, not at all. Gaius has been great, more than great. He's like a father to me."

Hunith turned to face Merlin directly and her expression was firm. She wanted proper answers to her questions. "Then what is it? You show up here at the crack of dawn so you must have traveled all night. Did you leave a message for Gaius? He does know you're here doesn't he?"

Merlin cleared his throat nervously. "Ummm, actually no, he doesn't. I was pretty upset when I left and... well I didn't think about writing him a letter. I..." Merlin sighed deeply realizing that he had really done a poor thing to the man who had taken him in at great risk to himself were Uther ever to discover what Merlin was capable of.

"Merlin! He'll be sick with worry. I don't care what you two fought about; you shouldn't have just left without at least telling him where you were going."

"I probably should have left a note, but I imagine he'll know where I headed... shouldn't he?" Merlin added almost to himself.

At his mother's angry glare he had the decency to look abashed. "I'm sorry, it was wrong to just leave like that. Gaius has been very good to me and he didn't deserve that, no matter what happened. There isn't really anything I can do about it now though. He'll be better off without me in any case. I'm not exactly easy to live with, always making a mess and I'm not the greatest at cleaning up after myself, although in fairness that is what I do all day long."

Merlin's mother allowed a small smile to touch her lips as she turned around again and placed bread and a small piece of cheese on a plate and then set them in front of her son. She pulled out some grain and water and began to make porridge while Merlin munched on the bread. She knew her brother, and while she was sure he would be concerned she was also fairly certain that he would know exactly where Merlin had gone.

"Gaius wrote to me and told me that you had procured a position in the royal household after less than a week in Camelot. He also told me that you saved the life of Price Arthur."

"Oh that. Well, yeah, I'm Arthur's man servant. I really don't like that title much." he added as an aside. "What else has Gaius told you?"

Placing the water on the fire to heat, she turned and took a seat at the table as she sorted the grains into separate bowels. "Gaius has kept in touch with me on a regular basis. For instance I know that you wound up in the stocks on your first day in the city and I know why."

Merlin ducked his head a little with that memory. It was the first time he'd met Arthur. "Well at least you know I'm getting my fruits and vegetables." Merlin quipped.

Sarcasm was a natural defense mechanism for the young man, but he could see that his mother was not impressed. "It was all Arthur's fault. Mind you, now that I think about it, every time I wound up in the stocks it was down to Arthur."

"Merlin! I raised you to speak your mind, but I see I neglected to teach you the wisdom of whom to share your opinions with!"

"He was being ghastly, Mother! Honestly he deserved... " Merlin stopped at the stern look his mother cast in his direction. She was only able to keep it up for a moment before her eyes softened. She had never been able to stay angry with her son no matter how much she knew she should.

"Gaius also told me about a young lady named Gwen."

That brought a smile to Merlin's face. "Gwen's wonderful. She was actually my first friend in Camelot. We met... well we met while I was getting those extra fruits and vegetables. Her father is the blacksmith, and she's the Lady Morgana's maid servant, and one of the nicest people in Camelot."

Gaius had told Hunith all about Gwen and how she seemed to fancy Merlin, what he didn't tell her was how utterly clueless Merlin was to that fact. There was time for him to learn, and it did seem that Merlin cared for her as well, judging by the smile on his face when he spoke of her.

"Tell me about Camelot. What is it like?"

Once again a gleam came into Merlin's eyes that almost overshadowed the sadness that she could see there. "Camelot is brilliant. It's big and beautiful, and exciting."

Merlin's face fell as he thought of all of the things he had seen in Camelot. It is where he had met the Great Dragon and learned of his destiny as it related to Arthur, a destiny that he could no longer fulfill. The sadness that his mother had seen when she first laid eyes on him became more pronounced, like a wall had suddenly shot up around her son's heart. Hunith knew her son like no other person in the world. She could almost read his mind especially when he was upset about something.

"Your uncle also told me about your destiny."

Merlin let out a snort. "My destiny! See how well that turned out." There was such bitterness in his words that she was shocked.

She reached forward and drew her hand down the side of his face causing him to look up at her. "Merlin, nothing is set in stone. The chapters of your life have barely begun to unfold and yet you speak of them as though they have already come to pass." She looked at him tenderly and asked, "Has anyone ever asked you what you think of this destiny of yours?"

Merlin stopped for a moment and thought about that. No one actually had ever stopped to wonder how he felt about his role in Arthur's life; he had simply been told that this was his destiny.

"I... I don't really know how I feel about it anymore. I thought I did... but now it's all changed, I've changed."

Merlin stopped speaking, refusing to move on or say anything more. His mother could tell that there was more on his mind, but he was refusing to speak of it so, she decided not to push the question of his destiny. "What about Prince Arthur? Tell me about him."

"Arthur?" A short sarcastic laugh followed the utterance of that name. "Arthur is arrogant, conceited, stubborn, self-righteous and a royal pain in the ass. He thinks that he is God's gift to the fairer sex, and he thinks he is right about everything. Oh yeah, Arthur thinks he's got it all figured out, but he hasn't. He spends half his time trying to gain the approval or even the notice of his father. He goes on and on about his duty and what's expected of him."

Merlin had lost what little appetite he had and pushed the plate away from him slightly. "Well I guess in all honesty, Uther expects an awful lot of him, and Arthur tries to please him, he really does. They've had some fights, some awful rows actually. Uther even threw Arthur into the dungeon at one point. You see, Arthur will stand up for what he believes in, even if it means standing up to the King. He's the best fighter and swordsman in the kingdom. He's brave and extremely skilled in all forms of combat. He's incredibly loyal to his king and his country. He is true and fair. Actually in comparison to Uther, Arthur is downright open-minded. He'll stand up for what's right and he's noble. He even saved my life once at great risk to his own, not to mention bringing down the King's wrath on him."

At Hunith's questioning frown Merlin elaborated. "Uther forbid Arthur to go on a quest to find a cure for a poison I drank, but he went anyway. That was when Uther threw him into the dungeons - when he came back with the cure and then Uther refused to give the cure to Gaius so he could save me. Gwen had to sneak down to the dungeons and get it from Arthur. Apparently Uther was trying to make some kind of point to Arthur. A punishment of sorts for defying his orders not to go."

Merlin's mother first paled at how close her son had come to dying and then a fierce fire formed in her eyes for the ruthless King who would allow an innocent boy to die simply to teach his son a lesson. Her voice was steely when she replied. "Gaius neglected to tell me that."

Merlin could see that his mother had become very angry and he wished that he hadn't said so much. "It's all good now; the King has even changed his mind about me a little. I was helping him into his armor before he fought a black knight in Arthur's place. I told him that Arthur and I have a sort of bond now and he was pleased to hear that. He even told me to look after him. He is hard and cruel, but I have seen a man underneath the hard exterior he shows the world."

Hunith was still very displeased but she let it drop. To hear that her son had a bond with the Crown-Prince that seemed to go beyond this destiny that Gaius told her about was what she wanted to know more about. Merlin may have spoken ill about Arthur when he first described the prince but he had ended up praising him. "So you think Arthur will make a good king someday?"

"I've seen true nobility in him underneath the spoiled prat who was raised without the wisdom of a mother. Arthur is so different from Uther and I'm very glad of that. He may have Uther's stubbornness, but he doesn't fear magic the way the king does. He can see value in many things that Uther can't abide. Oh yes, Arthur will one day be a great king. I really do honestly believe that he will be the force that unites all of Albion. That is his destiny as much as it is mine to..."

Merlin stopped short and looked at his mother with a sense of awe. She always knew how to get him to look at things from the right perspective. He shook his head and smiled then reached across the table and took his mother's hands.

"I'm glad that I came home. It is so wonderful to see you again, truly it is, but I don't belong here. I'm sorry, but I have to go back."

Hunith squeezed her son's hands. "It sounds to me as though you have decided how you really feel about your destiny. Stay for a while and eat a proper breakfast. I want to finish the letter that I started for Gaius, and have you bring it back to him for me."

"You won't tell him that I told you about the poison. That was quite a long time ago and well I really shouldn't have said anything."

Hunith looked at her son for a long moment before she answered him. "Merlin, you know that you can tell me anything. I've always told you that. Gaius should have told me, but to your point it was a long time ago and you're right. What good would it have done to worry me like that? I'll always be honest with you and you with me. That is what will hold us together when we are apart."

Merlin folded the wash while Hunith made the porridge and in the process she made him take a new tunic that she had planned on sending with her next letter. This one was heavy and should be quite a bit warmer when the colder fall days arrived. As he ate, his mother packed him some food for the journey back to Camelot casting surreptitious glances at him when she was sure he wasn't looking. She still didn't know what had driven him home and away from Gaius, but she saw a new resolve in her son's eyes. When he left it was with a full belly and a fierce determination that made her heart swell with pride.


.


As Merlin made his way back to the main road he felt a sense of finality come over him. This village was the only home he had known until he went to Camelot. His childhood had been a good one, but as he had gotten older, life in the small village had become more difficult. Hiding his gifts had become an onerous task and the main reason that his mother had sent him to live with his uncle. When he left his village the first time he felt the thrill of adventure, off to a new place with new people and sights to see. As he walked through the tree line and up to the hill with the old apple tree the sense of adventure was no longer with him. He felt the weight of responsibility hang around him like a shroud, but he didn't begrudge his destiny because he believed in Arthur. The words of the Great Dragon floated in the back of his mind.

'None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin, and none of us can escape it.'

"No one ever said that my destiny included so much walking." he quipped to himself as he walked along the long road that wound its way south. The morning sun brought with it more of the stifling heat that had been the norm for the last couple of weeks and it wasn't long before Merlin broke out in a sweat and had to remove his jacket and stuff it in his backpack. As he kept a steady pace his thoughts returned to the previous night and the traveling merchant who had picked him up. He knew that the hour was not particularly late when Odin came across him, but still to have made it all the way to Ealdor by morning was puzzling him. The wagon didn't seem to be moving so quickly. He knew that to make it that distance in the space of one night the wagon must have been at a full gallop all night long, a fact that didn't fit with his experience.

By mid day he needed to stop and rest, for his feet wouldn't take him any further. He found shade under a large oak tree and pulled out some food and a flask of water. He hadn't planned on staying for very long under that tree, only long enough to eat and rest his feet for a few minutes, but before he realized it, he had fallen asleep. The sound of his name woke him from a sound sleep, jostling his nerves in the process.

"Ho there! Merlin, is it? What 'er yer' doin' there, lad? Didnae drop yer off at Ealdor jus' this morn'?"

It took a moment for Merlin to focus on the voice. There on the road in front of him was Odin Gillivray sitting atop his wagon. Merlin got up quickly still feeling a little out of sorts for having fallen into such a deep sleep and being wakened suddenly.

"Hello, Odin."

"Where yer headed now then, toaty lad?"

"Oh, uh, I'm headed back to Camelot." Merlin looked down the road to the north then back at the old man with a puzzled frown. "I thought you said you were headed down to West Shireton."

"Och, aye, lad, I been there. What abou' yer? No welcome at home then were yer?"

Merlin gathered up his pack shaking his head. "Not at all. I had a perfectly lovely visit with my mother, thanks."

The trader cocked his head as if wondering whether or not to believe the young man. "Then why be yer rushin' off so soon?"

Merlin should have been annoyed at the prying questions, but for some reason he wasn't. "I realized that I should never have left. I need to get back; I have a responsibility to... to someone there."

The man nodded knowingly. "I see. Well, lad, hop on board. I ken take yer as fer as Ithandin."

Merlin looked oddly at the man wondering how it was so fortunate to have the same trader come across him and offer a ride twice, but since his feet were still a little sore and he was obviously quite tired having fallen asleep like that, he accepted. This time, however, he climbed up next to Odin vowing to keep his head clear so he could figure out how they had covered so much distance the previous night.

Odin talked on and on again about his trade route and Merlin was finding it hard to keep his mind alert and listen to the old man. The sound of his voice and the swaying of the wagon served to deaden his mind and before he realized what had happened the young warlock had fallen asleep again with his head leaning against the trader. The next thing that Merlin knew, it was almost full dark and Odin had stopped the wagon off the side of the road.

"Merlin, lad. It's time to stop for a bit o' supper." Odin said, as he shook Merlin awake.

The young man looked around confused. "I must have fallen asleep again. Where are we?"

The trader had gotten down from the wagon and was rummaging around in the back for supplies. "We be abou' an hour this side o' Ithandin."

Merlin raised his eyebrows in shock. That was nearly all the way back to Camelot. "How did we get so far that fast?"

Odin didn't answer Merlin as he ambled over to a small clearing and began kicking the pine needles from the forest floor as he dropped cooking pots and utensils in a pile.

"Odin, if we are close to Ithandin..."

"Merlin, me lad, there be some wood over thar. Ken yer grab some fer the fire?" Odin spoke over him as he gathered some large rocks to put around the fire pit.

With the two working together to make the fire and prepare a meal Merlin didn't have much of a chance to question Odin about how far they had traveled and decided to let the question drop. It was pitch dark once the sun had fully set beyond the horizon, but the fire crackled with warm light giving a sense of safety and comfort. Odin made a meaty stew with thick broth and chunks of beef and vegetables. He also pulled out a loaf of bread that had a perfectly brown crust yet was fluffy and soft inside. The food was as fine as any Merlin had ever had, and he was thoroughly impressed with his traveling companion.

After having eaten, Odin handed Merlin a cup of mead and he sat back and lit a long pipe that he held tight between his teeth. They sat in companionable silence for awhile drinking from their cups. Merlin found the mead to be very pleasant if a bit strong.

"So tell me, young Merlin, wha' responsibility has yer travelin' all night to get back to?'

Merlin looked up at the old man sitting across the fire and noticed how old yet wise the features of Odin's face were. The firelight quite literally glowed in his eyes giving them an otherworldly feel. They looked gold in the light from the fire and reminded him of the Great Dragon's eyes for a moment.

"Do you believe in destiny, Odin?"

"Aye, lad, I do."

"Well I have a destiny to fulfill, and I thought that I couldn't do that anymore, because... something in my life changed drastically. I thought I had lost myself along with my destiny, but someone once told me that no one can choose their destiny and no one can escape it. I think that must be true, because no matter what I have to do, I know I have to try and fulfill that destiny or die trying."

"Why?"

Merlin took another sip of the mead and rested his chin on his hands. "Because I believe in that destiny. I believe that it is right and true, and if I fail then..." Merlin closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again they held a fierce resolve. "I can't fail; too much is riding on this. I have to make sure that I don't fail."

Odin just nodded as he watched the young man closely. It wasn't long before his eyes began to droop. The old trader got up and moved over to Merlin coaxing him to lie down and sleep. Within moments of the boy resting his head against his back pack he was fast asleep. Odin ambled off to the wagon and took out a warm blanket and brought it back, covering the sleeping youth with it.

"Sleep well, young warlock, for tomorrow we shall see if your resolution equals your discourse."

TBC

(1) Odin and Gillivray are old Scottish names with specific meanings.

Odin - In Norse mythology Odin was the highest of the gods, presiding over art, war, wisdom and death. He resided in Valhalla, where warriors went after they were slain.

Gillivray - Scottish - meaning Servant of Judgement