Five Years Later: Chapter Nine

Claire unlocks the door to her grandmother's car with the remote and hurries ahead of Gretchen and Rene. She opens the passenger side door and holds it for Gretchen, gesturing for her to get in with an impatient smile. Gretchen quickens her step and jumps in, Claire shutting the door behind her, and the Haitian takes the back seat without a word.

"Are you sure you don't want me to drive?" asks Gretchen, once Claire is in the car.

"I'm fine," says Claire, buckling her seat belt.

"Are you sure?" she says again. "I mean ... you have been through a lot today. Maybe you should ..."

Claire starts up the engine and takes the piece of paper her grandmother gave her out of her breast pocket, handing it to Gretchen with a reassuring smile. "Just point me in the right direction," she tells her. "Let me worry about the rest."

Like a nascar driver, Claire pulls the long Oldsmobile out of the parking lot with a squeal of the tires and says, "So, where are we going?"

Gretchen laughs nervously. "You know ... maybe you should slow down," she suggests. "After all ... we are kind of trying to hide from the authorities ... right?"

Claire rolls her eyes with a sigh, but slows down as requested nonetheless. "Fine," she says, and then asks again, "Where are we going?"

Gretchen unfolds the piece of paper and reads, "Everglades National Park ... Main Park Road ... mile-marker 72."

"Great," says Claire. "We're going to the swamp."

"By the time we get there, it will be dark," Gretchen adds helpfully. "It's a good place to meet, Claire. No one else will be around for miles."

"We hope," reminds Claire.

"Yeah ... I was thinking about what your grandmother said," replies Gretchen, "about the government having their own evolves ... They also have their own agents, you know. With guns."

Claire smiles, unsurprised, but keeps her eyes on the road. "Are you starting to get scared now? Having second thoughts?"

"No, it's just ... what's your plan?"

"To find Peter. I thought we'd covered this already."

"Well, yeah, but ... what if someone else is waiting for us?" asks Gretchen. "Then what?"

"Then, we'll have to count on Peter to get us out of it," Claire explains, seemingly unworried. "Why do you think I'm trying so hard to find him in the first place?"

"I'm not sure, actually," admits Gretchen. "You haven't really told me what his ability is yet."

"I didn't?" says Claire, glancing over at her briefly in surprise. "Geez, Gretch. I'm sorry. I guess with everything that's been going on ... I've probably forgotten to tell you a lot of things."

"It's ... okay," promises Gretchen, finally relaxing as the steady rhythm of the car begins to soothe her nerves. "I know it's been ... well, it's been the worst day of my life, so I can only imagine ..."

"The worst day? Really?" says Claire, sounding a little disappointed and a little guilty at the same time. "Wow. I am like the crappiest friend in the world ... if you can even still count me as your friend."

"Oh, gosh ... Claire, that's not what I ..."

"No, it's okay," assures Claire. "I completely understand. I mean, I'm used to this madness. Well ... maybe not on this level, but ... there's always some kind of craziness going on in my life. You, on the other hand ... I haven't even stopped to consider what this day's been like for you. You must want to run away screaming from me by this point."

"I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but ... where else are you gonna go?" asks Claire, glancing over at her again. "I mean, because of your connection to me five years ago, your apartment's been blown up, you've lost your job, and you're probably even wanted by the government. I mean ... could I ruin your life anymore?"

"You haven't ruined my life, Claire ..."

Ignoring this, Claire continues, saying, "And, to top it all off, I've been nothing but a bitch since the explosion ... I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. After all, if you hadn't met me five years ago in the first place ..."

"God, Claire! Will you shut up!" Gretchen suddenly exclaims, interrupting her. "I'm not sorry we met five years ago, okay? I'm sorry I left you!"

Claire takes a deep breath and checks the rear-view mirror. The Haitian has fallen asleep, his head resting against the window.

"Gretch," she says softly, "I ..."

"No," says Gretchen, turning in her seat to face her. "Let me talk for once, okay? I've been trying to say this since we were trapped in the elevator this morning ... Claire, my whole life, I've been fascinated and scared of things at the same time. You know, like with snakes? And roller-coasters? I wanted to find out more about them, but, at the same time, I was always scared to death of them. When I met you in college, I felt kind of the same way. I was so ... enraptured with you. With your courage and your fearlessness. And, of course, that little thing you could do with a knife. Cutting yourself and then ... watching it heal again. I mean, what girl could resist that?"

"Are you serious right now?" questions Claire on that last comment.

"Actually, yes," admits Gretchen. "Except ... it scared me a little too. And, at the time, with Becky trying to kill me and all ... Well, I was just too immature to deal with all that. I was barely out of the closet myself. It was just too much for me to handle."

"Gretchen, you don't owe me any explanations," Claire tells her. "I was never angry at you for leaving. I never blamed you."

"But, I do owe you an explanation," Gretchen replies earnestly. "Because ... I'm starting to realize now how wrong I was. I should have stayed, Claire. I should have ... been stronger for you."

"Honestly, Gretch," says Claire. "It's not your fault. It's totally the opposite of your fault."

"Claire ... when you came to my lab that night ... last night, actually ... I know you probably thought that I was scared to death of you. And, I was ... a little. But ... I was also exhilarated. Actually, to be honest ... I was more than exhilarated. I was happier than I'd been in a very long time. It was like I'd been running on neutral for five years, and then, suddenly, I looked into your eyes again and ..."

"You were in top gear?" guesses Claire.

"You felt it too ... right?" asks Gretchen cautiously.

"Maybe now isn't the best time to talk about this," suggests Claire carefully. "After all, we are kind of in the middle of an apocalyptic situation."

"Is there a better time to talk about this?" questions Gretchen. "I mean, what if I ... what if you ..."

"Nothing's going to happen," promises Claire.

"But ... what if it does? Claire, I really don't want to leave this world not knowing how you feel about me."

Claire takes a deep breath. "A lot has happened today. I don't even know if Becky is alive or ..."

"It's okay if you're still in love with Becky," says Gretchen honestly. "I get that. I'm not asking you to cheat on her. I'm just asking you to tell me how you feel."

"That part is easy," says Claire softly. "That part has always been easy. But ... if you are right about Becky ... if she is the traitor ... then, I have more to worry about than if I'm still in love with her or not. If you're right about her, then I've been a fool for five years, Gretchen. A fool that certainly does not deserve someone like you."

"Seriously? Wow. I never took you to be a coward before," says Gretchen.

"What? I am not being a coward. That's not what this is about."

"Isn't it?" asks Gretchen. "Because, it sounds like you are scared to trust me."

"Why would you think that?" asks Claire, wrinkling her nose. "If I didn't trust you, you wouldn't be here right now."

"I'm not talking about trusting me with your life, Claire," explains Gretchen. "I'm talking about trusting me with your heart."

Claire sits silent for a moment, staring at the road with cold, blank eyes. "My heart?" she finally says, breaking the quiet, her voice deep and dark. "I don't even know what's in my heart anymore, Gretchen. Right now, I can really only afford to listen with my head."

"Bullshit," replies Gretchen immediately. "You haven't been listening with your head all day! If you had, we would still be in 1954 with Hiro!"

"Hiding is not an option," says Claire, as if reading from a prepared script. "I'm only doing what needs to be done. I'm only doing what's necessary."

"You are trying to save the people you love," points out Gretchen, becoming tired with this routine. "If that's not listening to your heart, then what is?"

"I can't deal with my feelings for you right now, okay?" exclaims Claire, finally becoming animated. "I just ... can't."

Gretchen turns back in her seat, facing forward again, and sinking into the leather with a sigh. She folds her arms and narrows her eyes, her right knee bouncing rapidly up and down as she thinks.

"Okay ..." she finally says, turning back around as if an idea has just hit her. "What did you mean when you said: that part is easy; that part has always been easy?"

"Huh?"

"When I asked you to tell me how you felt, you said: that part is easy; that part has always been easy."

"Gretchen ..." says Claire, squeezing her eyes shut for just a moment.

"If it's so easy, then ... why can't you just tell me?" Gretchen pleads.

"I didn't mean it was easy to tell you," she clarifies with a nervous laugh. "I just meant ..."

"What?" questions Gretchen, trying desperately to search Claire's face for clues. "You just meant what? Please, tell me. They're just words, Claire. They aren't nearly as dangerous as the things you are used to dealing with."

"Really?" replies Claire. "Are you sure about that? What happens if I tell you how I'm feeling and it only makes you feel worse? What if I tell you, and it only makes things harder for you ... or for me?"

Gretchen pauses, not sure exactly what to infer from this. "You couldn't possibly make me feel any worse," she finally answers, feeling confident that this is the truth. "Claire, I'm kind of ... you know ... putting myself out there right now. And you're just leaving me hanging without a net. Whatever it is you're feeling, good or bad ... it's better than not knowing at all."

"If I tell you," says Claire, taking a deep breath, "then ... there's no taking it back. And ... I don't know if I can handle that right now. You think now is a good time to pour out our feelings, because we might be facing death ..." she lets out a small disbelieving laugh and shakes her head. "... But, it couldn't be worse timing for me. I'm already worried about you, Gretch. I already know how much I could lose focus if you end up in danger. How much worse do you think that's going to be if I ..."

"If you what?"

After another deep breath, Claire suddenly pulls the car onto the shoulder of the road and puts it in park. She checks the backseat, and Rene is still sound asleep.

"If I tell you how easy it is ... to fall in love with you," says Claire finally, looking at Gretchen with apprehension and fear, "If I tell you that I have never stopped thinking about you; never stopped wondering about you; never stopped picturing our kiss over and over again for five long years ..."

She reaches out unexpectedly and takes Gretchen's hand in her own, the look in her eyes warming now; the apprehension melting. "Gretchen," she says, "If I tell you that after I saw you in your lab last night, all I wanted to do was run home and end things with Becky immediately, whether I love her or not; that it has been killing me all day to push my feelings for you down ... Could you tell me that it wouldn't make things harder for you if something happens to me tonight? Can you honestly tell me that?"

Gretchen, who has been listening intently all along, swallows hard and breathes out, "I think it's a little late for that, Claire. I mean ... after what you just said ..."

Not allowing her to finish, Claire rips her seat belt off and lurches forward, enveloping Gretchen in a fiery kiss that pushes her back against the door and leaves her breathless. It is electric, and makes time stand still in an instant. It is as if Claire has been saving this kiss for five years; as if all the passion they have missed out on together has been stored up for this very moment ... and it leaves Gretchen worrying, just for a second, if perhaps these feelings might just be dangerous after all.

Because, from the moment this kiss was initiated, Gretchen knew Claire was right. There is no taking this back. Whatever happens from this point forward, Gretchen knows she will die if she loses Claire again. Five years was nothing. What if she loses her forever?

Interrupting this thought, and their salacious kiss, the Haitian clears his throat loudly from the backseat. Claire pops up immediately, trying to look inconspicuous, but she is blushing badly.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," he says, giving Claire a sly smile. "But, it would have been indecent not to."

"No, it's ... okay," says Claire, straightening her wrinkled blouse. "I'm sorry we woke you . How long have you ..."

He suppresses a laugh. "Not long. I just woke up a moment ago. But, we really must keep going, Claire ... we won't want to keep Peter waiting."

Claire turns around to face the wheel, still blushing a little. "Right," she says, trying to regain her former focus and composure.

She puts the car back in drive and pulls it onto the freeway, glancing over to give Gretchen a shy smile. Gretchen smiles back. Neither of them needs to say a word anymore. The connection between them now is almost telepathic.

And, it only took one kiss.

Safely in her lane of traffic, Claire takes Gretchen's hand and squeezes it. "Wanna turn on the radio?" she asks.

"Sure ... why not?" says Gretchen, who reaches with her free hand to turn the knob.

She turns the radio on and this song is playing:

AGAIN (by Janet Jackson)

I heard from a friend today

And she said you were in town

Suddenly the memories came back to me in my

Mind

[CHORUS]

How can I be strong I've asked myself

Time and time I've said

That I'll never fall in love with you again

A wounded heart you gave

My soul you took away

Good intentions you had many

I know you did

I come from a place that hurts

And God knows how I've cried

And I never want to return

never fall again

Making love to you

Oh it felt so good and

Oh so right

[CHORUS]

So here we are alone again'

Didn't think it'd come to this

And to know it all began

With just a little kiss

I've come too close to happiness

To have it swept away

Don't think I can take the pain

No never fall again

Kinda late in the game and my heart is in

Your hands

Don't you stand there and then

Tell me you love

Me then leave again

Cause I'm falling in love with

You again

Hold me

Hold me

Don't ever let me go

Say it just one time

Say you love me

God knows I do

Love you

Again

Claire looks over at her and laughs. The laugh starts small and then grows, intensifying as Gretchen joins in.

And the two of them continue to laugh, still holding tight to each other's hands, as Claire turns the Oldsmobile onto Main Park Road ... heading straight for certain disaster.

*to be continued ...*