Disclaimer: Unscramble 'not Twilight mine is' and you find the most dismaying fact in this world. For me, anyway. Sigh.

Author's Note: Alas, I have hinted again and again that this happiness couldn't last so here it is - the sad bit.

Love and Pain Go Hand in Hand

Leah's POV

Chapter 7 ~ Murder

Charlotte arrived first, calmly greeting us and shaking our hands. It was a perfect show, but a show it was. It was all a little forced, a little too unnatural. I had no idea what it was, but I assumed it was something to do with the fact that she was a little thirsty and Harry was a nice, tasty human. I tried not to be concerned but it was impossible to do so.

She turned her back on us and strutted up to the house, walking at a brisk vampiric pace. I rolled my eyes at her rush to greet the Cullens. I imagined what she would say about my Harry, but none of it was good, so I distracted myself from that train of thought by looking at the man in front of me.

He caught me looking and I looked into his eyes. They were perfect; rich, warm and inviting. I took his hand as I stepped closer to him, his eyes still burning into mine. It was the familiarly intense moments that I totally associated with Harry. He brought out the best in me, in all of me. I couldn't help but be thankful to him, to the downfall of the bitter harpy I had once been.

A slight breeze rippled around me, making me shiver and I noticed the goosebumps on Harry's arms.

"Come on," I whispered to him. "We'll go in and say goodbye."

"I'd rather be here a while longer, thanks," he smiled at me. "I feel like magic might exist here." I snorted. "What? Does that sound stupid? Personally, I thought it was kind of sweet."

"But you know magic exists. You're talking to the ex-werewolf who is about to return to a houseful of vampires." I snorted at him again. Seriously. He groaned once he cottoned on. "It was like the time Bella asked Edward to imagine what people thought." I laughed again.

"Enough humour at my expense," he said, his face crunching up in mock offence. I watched his face smooth out as his gaze returned to the encroaching forest. The way his eyes lit up was magic in itself, and I hoped it never ended.

"Do you mind if I go back?" I asked, breaking the silence that had built up as I watched his beauty from the sidelines. "I can make you a drink if you want me to."

"I'd love that, thank you." He smiled at me and I was glad, once more, for returning to the wedding and making this beautiful man mine. I grinned in return and started to walk back to the house. I was in for a bit of a trek (the garden was so large) but I was happy, nonetheless. The walk left me refreshed and glowing and I turned to see if Harry had started to follow me yet.

That was when I saw the most earth-shattering I had ever seen. It rocked my world, cracked every little plan and hope for happiness that I had ever wanted.

Peter was crouched down, with his back to me. He was crouched over my husband, over my love, over my life. He was crouched over the still, pale form that had been my Harry. I watched as Harry's eyes fluttered shut, grimacing in pain. I watched my Harry's life drain away into Peter. I watched my Harry dying. I watched my Harry being murdered. And I didn't do a thing.

My excuse is that I was frozen. The shock and severity of the situation numbed me, stopped every thought and every bit of logic that was screaming at me to save him. All I could do was stand there, dumbfounded, and watch the events unfold. I had no power or control over the things laid out before me. I was rooted to the spot as every one of my fears about Harry's safety amongst the vampires was forced upon me.

I closed my eyes, wishing away the moments that had been. I closed my eyes and wished I had stayed with him. I closed my eyes and wished I was in Harry's arms. I imagined myself fitting closely to his body, the way I always had. I imagined his woody scent, and his arms encircling me as I went to sleep. I imagined Harry was alive and living life as we had always wanted it.

I saw every moment of the past and every missed chance if the future. I saw the life we had led, and the life that could have been. I saw our discussions of our family and who our family could have been. I saw the families we had met, and the family we would have had. I saw us as new parents, us being happy for our growing children, us becoming grandparents. The last image was one that was branded onto my brain forever.

It was a simple family portrait. One with happiness lighting the eyes of each family member, making them glow. I saw my features, wrinkled and withered, but mine, on the old lady. She was next to someone she clearly adored, someone who was everything to her. In that old man's face were the hazel eyes and the trademark mischievous playfulness that I made them easily recognisable as Harry's eyes. Surrounding them were their three children, all with mixtures of Harry's features and mine; Harry's hair, the lady's eyes; her smile, Harry's eyes; Harry's smile, her hair. Knelt on the floor were the grandchildren, gazing adoringly at Harry and the happy old lady. They were seeing the world with rose tinted glasses, from Harry and the lady all the way through to their grandchildren. Despite knowing and recognizing the old lady as me, I couldn't bring myself to think it was me. It brought the agony too close. The pain of missing everything. The misery had replaced the happiness so quickly.

As the picture faded, I recognised I had seen my life how it should have been, twice now. Two chances to be the happiest woman on earth and both chances had been snatched away by the vampires before I had ever had a chance to properly taste them or savour them.

My vision returned in time to read the last words my Harry muttered. "I love you, Leah." He was completely oblivious to the fact I was too far away to hear, but he said it anyway. I felt the tears start to pool in my eyes as I saw my Harry in Death's embrace. I saw and I believed, for the first time in my life, in the land of the spirits where our ancestors lay. I wished his shining soul to be guided to that land with happiness and joy.

I felt the dam of the numbing shock start to crumble. I could feel the blood pounding in my head as I felt my heart tear. I had witnessed my Harry's murder. That, and everything it implied, sent me crashing to the floor. I hoped this river of pain was dragging me under with Harry. I hoped this sea of agony would make me regret not living in each moment more then I had done before.

I didn't hear the footsteps until they were right beside me. I saw, through the water of this river or sea, the face of Peter watching over me. His pale skin was slightly flushed from the blood under his skin. My Harry's blood. I saw him move faster than I had expected him to. My Harry's blood had done that. I watched his vivid, glowing, ruby-red eyes watch me. My Harry's blood was swirling in them. What created my mission in life was what was in those eyes.

There was no mercy, remorse or regret. No conscience had restrained the monster. Nothing pitied me. It was more like Peter was trying to think clearly and was using me as his muse. It was a bad idea. My numbness of Harry was creating an awareness of his murderer. I inspected his eyes closely as he was doing with me. I pierced into the depths of that scarlet. I looked for anything that would change my mind about this harsh judgement of labeling him a monster. Instead, I saw the monster was enjoying himself. Having drained my Harry, he was gloating, jumping over the body, trying to kill him twice to savour the taste of the scorching, soothing blood.

I suddenly saw my mission. It was to punish my Harry's killer.

The agony turned into anger. The distress transformed into a white hot, burning fury, roiling beneath the surface. I felt the growl build deep within my throat. The tremors started in my hands and spread, just as the warmth washed over me. My transformation was easy, scarily so, but I was past caring. All I wanted to do was rip and tear Peter limb from limb. To torture him as he had my Harry, just a few moments ago. To torture him like he would now be torturing me, having ended my Harry's life. To give him every wound vampires had given me, as a warning for others never to do the same.

My snarl ripped through the air, as I leaped for him. I noticed him get into a defensive crouch, his crimson eyes watching me warily. He seemed to prepare to fight, as he took in my small wolf form. I was hunting him, trying to get close enough to sink my teeth into his marble skin. I needed to be close enough to rip and tear at him, but he continued to dance around my attempts to end his life.

The dance was over too soon. He had not been punished. Harry had not been avenged. I had not died. Nothing that should have happened did happen. And it was Jacob's fault.

Stop!he cried, his voice worried, but containing a hint of something he had never used before and had promised never to use despite the circumstances. He was preparing to use his Alpha voice.

Why? I snarled back, once again lunging for Peter. I was more sluggish now. It was like I was trying to launch myself through water, rather than air. I felt as though something was restraining the rage that was so uncontrollable and had been taking over my body.

Because I said so.The double timbre in Jacob's voice was more detectable now, but he still seemed a little reluctant to use it. I worked that to my adantage, still trying to snap at Peter. This time it was like wading through a quicksand pool. I felt the strings starting to tighten around my body, a feeling I recognised from the many times Sam had used it in the pack.

That is no reason at all, Jacob, I replied, whilst trying to block the thoughts I was using to plan to kill Peter.

Leah, you will not attack Peter. So, stop that right now! His voice was aggressive, the full force of the Alpha voice unleashed. It was stronger than Sam's had ever been, the weight of it forcing me to the floor faster than any Alpha command had done before. I gasped.

Why? I asked again. Why should I not hunt him like the animal he is?

Because we can't afford to start a war, Leah. We can't just kill him and expect others not to get involved. We would get in a war with the vampires, too destructive to do anything.

A war is what all our treaties dictate when a vampire kills a human. We hunt whoever did it. We kill whoever did it. A life for a life.

NO! he snarled back, and I cowed in fear, and with the weight of the injunction. Leah, you will not, nor will you ever try to kill Peter.

But he's broken the treaty! He has murdereda human! Not any human, a human who was somebody's Imprint! My Imprint! Jacob, that breaks every treaty and unwritten law we have ever made with vampires and with each other! How can you stand there and ignore everything, like it doesn't exist?

I'm not pretending it doesn't exist. I would never to that to any member of our tribe. But, we can't be gung-ho about this, Leah. Peter will be punished, but he won't be killed. It makes us just as bad as any other murderer.

Any other punishment won't fit the crime! Let me go after him, Jacob!

No, Leah. He mulled over what he should do and what I would do. It took him a little while, as I futilely struggled against the bonds that were tying me down. We will wait until Peter arrives, then you will wait in the woods, away from the house. I will let you know the events as I see them. Now that is what we will do.

But, Jacob-

It isn't debatable, Leah. That is what we will do. The Alpha voice became more resonant.

Fine. I'll do that, o Great, sympathetic, kind, understanding Alpha. You are sympathetic, Leader. It was at this point that he realised I was really going for it, and that my Harry's death had sent me into temporary insanity. He tried to break in, but I raised my mind's voice to talk over his thoughts. You are so sympathetic, in fact, you seem not to be doing a single thing to ease the agony that you can so clearly see. So kind, you want to punish the creature that did it through no punishment at all. So understanding, you use your Alpha voice even though you promised you wouldn't under any circumstances-

Circumstances change, Leah. People change. There are reasons behind everything, and they make our decisions. We are going to hear Peter out, whether you like it or not. I couldn't argue with the Alpha. I couldn't say or do anything that would make him change his mind. I had fought as strongly as I could for the death of the monster, and it wasn't working. Nothing would work. I gave in to the strings that were binding me and rolled up into a ball. I sobbed, as heartily as I could manage, trying to find some way to mask the pain that was germinating within my heart, growing and taking over as it had done once before. I knew then, as I knew at that point, that only love could cure it but there was no love that could replace an Imprint. No love could replace my Harry.

And the pain washed over me again...

Author's Note: So, what d'ya think? Sorry it took me so long, especially after I promised it wouldn't. Blame Mother. She deleted my work as I was nearly finished. Luckily I saved half of it on my USB stick thing, but half was deleted and I had to try and remember it.

Review, pretty please!