Point of Clarification: A beta from yaoiwish made the notes between Tony and Gibbs last chapter more realistic and less awkward. Thank her, read her stuff.

5) sparkly

Abby tried not to laugh. It wasn't funny, because there was still a victim and there was a crime and Tony had a nasty run-in with a suspect. It wasn't funny. But Tony getting puked on by some hung-over playboy dishonorably discharged Marine? Who could miss the irony of that? Now Abby knew of course that Tony and his façade was just that—an act. But the fact remained he was standing in her lab on an oversized sheet of paper, expected to remove all of his clothes as evidence and be forced to pull out his backup suit.

"This isn't necessary, you know. If anyone wanted to see me naked, they could have just asked." Tony grumbled.

Abby, of course, knew as well as he did that it was necessary. The suspect had fought back when Tony had gone to question him, and considering the murder was last night, anything in the scuffle that landed on Tony—yes, including the vomit—could be evidence of the crime, his alibi, and a whole load of things Abby refrained from reminding Tony about.

"Come on, Tony…I won't look. Promise. Unless, you know, you want me to or something." Abby grinned at the scowl Tony sent her way. The office flirting was fun but today was clearly not his happiest.

"I'm going, I'm going…" Grumbling to himself, Tony managed to get shoes and socks off along with the suit coat. He paused as a chill ran through him. "Could you at least do something about the temperature in here? I mean, I know it is unbelievably hot outside for April but that doesn't mean you need to counteract it so strongly here."

"Cranky…" Abby clicked her tongue disapprovingly at him. She turned to her music and wickedly brought on Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On". She turned back to Tony and grinned. "This gonna warm you up, Anthony?"

"Screw you…"

"Oh, you wish." Abby bounced a little and turned back to Major Mass Spec who was ready with some results. She figured Tony needed a decent amount of privacy, even though he was only stripping to the boxers.

"Alright, got the hospital gown thing?" Tony would put that on, take off the boxers and make his way to the shower—which, Abby imagined, he'd gladly spend the whole day using to clean himself of Suspect Harper and his bodily oozes.

But when Abby turned back with the flimsy gown, she stopped functioning for a full minute. "Oh my God…Tony."

"What?"

"Those boxers." Abby pointed numbly, as if Tony wouldn't be aware of which boxers she was talking about.

"Oh, you like? Well, you get them for evidence in a minute."

"I bought those."

"You have a pair? Great, we're twins. Now, Abs, come on. I need the robe…please?"

"No, Tony…" Abby's mind was whirling. How was that…it couldn't mean… "I bought those boxers. As in, the pair you are currently wearing."

Tony glanced down, reddening slightly. "Nah, don't think so Abs…"

"I bought them for Gibbs."

"Great, so Gibbs and I are twins, I'll be sure to let him know. Gown-smock thing, please?"

"I bought them for him two Christmases ago. I remember buying them online." Abby gestured again and looked over the pair. She remembered them. Moss green, the softest jersey cotton, with little tiny chocolate-colored outlines of fishing boats. In the right light the boats even sparkled, which was Abby's favorite part. That was 100% for Gibbs, no one else needed boxers with sparkly boats. She'd done that for him as a joke, a sort of way to celebrate the lull in ladies with the notion that he could dress to impress and be himself. Boat plus a little fancy sparkle. And now Tony was wearing those same boxers.

"Well, I'm sure I just picked them up at a store, Abs." He was getting redder, stepping from one foot to the other.

"No…you are wearing Gibbs's boxers. Why?"

"They aren't, Abs…"

Abby got a sudden thought. "Alright, fine. Just hand them over." She tossed him the robe and crossed her arms, knowing the smirk would make him suspicious.

Catching the gown, Tony frowned. "Why?"

"Because they are evidence, Tony!" Abby gave a sigh. "Both of a potential murder and perjury."

"What? Abs, Harper wasn't under oath when he talked to me, plus I hadn't Mirandized him—"

"No, your perjury. You lying to me." Abs leaned back against the counter and waited as Tony slipped the gown on and fastened the little string ties.

"What? When did I lie?" Tony hesitantly was fingering the waistband of the boxers.

"I wrote 'Gibbsy' on the tag. That's my proof those are Gibbs and that you lied to me."

Tony gave one of his fake, casual laughs. "Okay, Abby, you are completely paranoid."

"Fine, then hand them over."

"What? No, I'm not encouraging this." Tony's hands now gripped the elastic waist, as if that would stop the whole process.

"Are you disrupting the chain of evidence, Special Agent DiNozzo?!?!" Abby crossed her arms and mocked accusingly.

"Abby, come on…" Tony looked down, looked to the side—anywhere but at Abby. And that was worrying.

"Tony…what "come on"? Just give over the evidence."

Biting his lip, Tony shoved the boxers down, the glimmer of the boat print in the florescent light was actually pretty, Abby noted. It had definitely been a good buy. Grabbing them, Abby immediately looked at the tag—then her eyes shot to Tony.

"Abs…don't, don't say it…" Tony shook his head warningly.

"Why are you wearing Gibbs's underwear?"

"Because…I, I stayed at his place a couple months back…my water was shut off. Must have mixed the laundry…" Tony trailed off, as if waiting for Abby's perversions to interpret the situation. And she didn't disappoint.

"Tony… you put this pair of boxers on this morning, right?"

"Yes."

"At Gibbs's house. Didn't you?"

"No, Abby…yeah."

"After spending the night with him. Like, in a Brokeback Mountain 'don't ask, don't tell' kind of way."

"Jesus…yes, Abby."

"Like you've been doing for the past…"

"5 months. At least, that's how long I've been living there fulltime."

"Oh my God…"

"Abby, I know it makes me look like a girl or something and I know this might be bad for work, but you haven't noticed any change so that means we are doing a good job of—"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me about your hot gay sex life."

Tony froze, but slowly smiled as he realized Abby wasn't upset, not really. Why he was so afraid, so paranoid of her response, some abstract and unrealistic judgement…Abby shook her head.

"Well, listen mister: you both better enjoy rationing all of Gibbs's boxers because I'm sure as hell not buying either of you any new pairs. I don't reward people who keep juicy secrets from me. Well, that and I think you two sharing your 'delicates' is really hot."

A/N: Last in the series, hope you enjoyed.

I'll be looking for challenges over the holidays, something like this style. I am willing to exchange challenges. So any takers, PM me. Also, REVIEW.