Intricate
By Lunaleth

2.19.2010

Lily Evans is a complicated individual. The four Marauders each have their own perspectives of this intriguing girl. Fourshot. LJ

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.


Remus

I always did love being around Lily. Still do.

I'm not saying anything against James, Sirius, or Peter. They're the most amazing people I've ever met, and I could never thank them enough for everything they've done for me, everything they've sacrificed.

In some ways, Lily is very similar to my other friends. There's this quality about her—James has it too, and Sirius; even Peter has discernible traces. There's this intangible luminosity that makes them different. Perhaps it's because of their unshakable confidence, or their carefree personalities, or just some sort of casual grace. They're all just so comfortable being themselves.

I am lucky to be their friend.

But Lily, she's special. She doesn't just care about her own friends, about her own affairs. She cares about everyone. She was, and still is, the most compassionate person I have ever met.

People often underestimated the value of compassion. I suppose it was natural during those dark days, when you could hardly trust your acquaintances, much less your enemies. It never was that way with Lily though. She had a big heart. She genuinely cared about people and reminded me that, yes, there were good people out there. There was hope.

The first time I saw her, that's what she gave me.

The Hogwarts Express, first year. I was scared to death. James and Sirius invited me to sit in their compartment, and, glad as I was to be accepted, there were still those fears in the back of my mind. What if they decided they hated me after talking to me? What if I couldn't fit in at Hogwarts? What if someone discovered my terrible secret?

In this same compartment sat a pretty red-headed girl and a black-haired boy.

James and Sirius, being cocky eleven-year-olds, laughed and joked around uproariously, and, being cocky eleven-year-olds, eventually started on the boy. They taunted him, and that was when the girl bravely stood up to these two boys—both larger than she was—and then led her friend out. As she walked out, there was this fierce glimmer in her eyes that surprised me. This boy was her friend, no matter what others might think of him. And she didn't care what they thought of her either.

For the rest of that journey, I thought of that girl. She was brave. She didn't cower under James and Sirius' obvious condescending arrogance, as I would have. Maybe I could be brave too, I thought. I could be brave too. I might be a werewolf, but I could also be brave.

Throughout my first year at Hogwarts, that's what I told myself over and over. Every time I found myself becoming worried, or scared, that's what I told myself. Be brave, brave like Lily. And I got through it.

---

I grew closer to James and Sirius after discovering that, deep down, they weren't nearly as awful as they'd seemed that first day. Peter joined us soon enough, and it became us four all the time, friends better than I could ever have asked for. Over the years, I also began to truly admire Lily. It amazed me, sometimes, how much she stood up for what she believed in. She stuck with Snape, even through all the taunts and insults thrown her way for that. She defended anyone, be it Gryffindor or Slytherin, that was being teased or bullied. She was good through and through.

We became friends pretty quickly. We both had that same streak of patience, of calm, something that even my proximity to James and Sirius couldn't wipe out. And, although I hung out with James Potter, she was never condescending towards me because of whom I associated with. She didn't like my friends, but she never criticized me for them either. I suppose she understood, much too well, the importance of loyalty to those one cares about.

It was nice being with her. There were times, though not often, when I got tired of all the pranks and troublemaking and jokes, when everything became a little overwhelming. That was when I would turn to Lily. She was a force of nature, no doubt about it, but she also had this soothing side that relaxed me. She didn't mind just sitting there, by the lake, enjoying the sun and wind and water (unlike James, who could barely sit still for five minutes without fidgeting). She was comfortable just being, and I loved it.

We became quite close, which is more than I could say for James. He fell for her soon enough. I wasn't surprised, really; she was very pretty, and even though James differed much from her in terms of levels of compassion, it was still something he could admire. Sadly, the boy never was very bright when it came to Lily Evans. Despite his arrogant exterior, he really was a bit nervous around her, and he channeled that anxiety into even more arrogance, which only disgusted her. He could really be thick sometimes.

Lily wasn't pleased with him, to say the least. They fought, a lot. Some of their fights were actually rather amusing. There was once, in fifth year, when they argued over whether the color of the Fat Lady's dress was pale pink or coral. Lily won that one after James struck a bargain with her— he'd let her win if she'd let him have her empty potion bottle. Lily agreed, and he happily added her empty bottle to the Lily shrine that took up most of the space in our dormitory.

Empty potion bottles and disgust were all he could ever get from her, for many years.

During our sixth year, he actually grew smarter. (I like to think it was because of my advice finally taking effect.) He decided to let up a little, let Lily see him as a person instead of as a cockroach. They hardly fought, hardly spoke, even.

And then, seventh year. Head Boy and Head Girl, top of the school. Civil conversations took place quite often, but that was the extent of their interactions.

I remember that one day, the day that everything changed.

It was a quiet, normal afternoon. I sat with Lily in the library; we'd been studying for a frustrating exam for the past few hours.

Suddenly, Lily sighed and slammed her thick textbook down onto the table. "I'm tired," she groaned. "Don't you ever get tired?"

I looked up at her, confused. "Tired?"

"Just…tired." She gestured wildly, almost crazily. "Of being you, you know? Even though you're part of Potter's little gang, you're still a prefect. And I'm Head Girl. And people always think we're perfect little studious children who are infallible and never do anything wrong. Don't you ever get tired of that?"

I understood what she meant. Sometimes, I got tired of being seen as perfect, of striving and working hard and achieving, only to see my achievements disregarded because they were expected of me. If only they knew how imperfect I really was.

Lily sat there, glumly slumped in her chair. Then, abruptly, her eyes lit up and she sat up straight. Even her hair seemed to glow brighter. "I have an idea."

I eyed her warily. She was unpredictable when she was like this.

She grinned at me. "Sure, you're a prefect, but you're also part of Potter's little gang. How much firewhiskey can you get your hands on?"

---

"Oh Remus, I've always found you quite attractive," Lily giggled. "Your hair has such a fiiiiine sheen. And your eyes are just soooo dreamy." She took another sloppy swig of firewhiskey. We were in an empty classroom, and bottles littered the floor. The sun was beginning to set beneath the horizon, bathing the room in a soft orange glow.

I turned pink and coughed. I could hold my firewhiskey much better than the Head Girl, so it seemed. I shouldn't have let her talk me into this, though, admittedly, it had been fun. Lily was rather amusing when she was like this. "Lily," I said, "I think we should get you back to your room now." My prefect side speaking.

She pouted. "But we're having so much fun! Especially since Potter isn't here. He always manages to ruin the fun. Even though he's even dreamier than you are. No offense meant, dear."

Shocked, I stared at Lily as she rambled on.

"I mean reeeeally, his hair looks so soft, I could just…" She made vague motions with her hands. "But I don't think he likes me anymore. He hasn't asked me out in like, forever. Do you think he still likes me?" She glanced up at me, a heartbroken look on her face.

I blinked and tried to get rid of the haze surrounding my brain. Lily liked James? James had been pining over this girl for the past— well, forever. And now she says she likes him back. I'd suspect her of lying if I didn't know just how well firewhiskey forces brutal honesty.

A loud thud echoed through the room. I looked over at Lily only to see her passed out on the floor. I groaned.

After dragging her up four staircases (and dodging a bunch of patrolling teachers), I got Lily into the Common Room and lay her down on the couch. I collapsed into a nearby armchair and fell asleep immediately.

---

I woke up before dawn to a pounding headache and the sight of Lily sitting on the couch with a huge cup of warm milk. "Morning," she said hoarsely.

"Morning. Headache?"

"Don't you know it," she sighed. "I don't remember a thing from last night, except that I rather exceeded my firewhiskey intake quota for the year."

I chuckled. Then, curiously— "You don't remember anything from last night at all?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. I didn't do anything…bad, did I? Lie to me if I did."

I bit my lip. "Nothing bad."

She nodded, too tired to ask more. Relieved, I slumped back into my chair before experiencing a rather uncomfortable sensation and needing to rush to the bathroom.

---

Classes that day were pretty bad. For once, I was the one sleeping through them, and not Sirius.

At the end of Charms, James shook me awake and looked at me, concerned. "Are you sick?"

I shook my head, then winced. Ouch. "Just not feeling too well."

James shook his head sympathetically, then paused. "Lily seemed to be really tired today as well."

I tried to seem innocent. James would castrate me if he found out about last night. "Do you still like her?" I asked, offhandedly casual. "You don't seem to talk to her as much as you used to."

James sighed. "Of course I like her. But you know as well as anyone how much she hates me. I'm thinking of giving up. I don't want to annoy her anymore."

I pretended to think. "James, I think you should ask her out one more time before you give up."

"Why?"

"Let's just say, I have a good feeling about it. Umm…werewolf instincts, you know?"

James raised an eyebrow. "You have those?"

"Well, yeah. I get good feelings about things sometimes when it seems like they might eventually work out."

"I think you need more sleep," he snorted. "But alright, I'll ask her one more time."

---

Lily and James were together within the week.

Finally. Lily and James…even their names fit together well. It was about time, really. I was tired of having to hide behind the sofa in the Common Room every time one of their infamous fights broke out. I'd learned that lesson the hard way, after I'd gotten a poorly aimed Arithmancy textbook chucked at my head in third year. (I woke up two days later in the Hospital Wing with a huge headache and a contrite looking Lily sitting by my bed. That girl can really throw.)

It really did make me happy though. For once, I'd done something to help my friends. I'd helped make them happy. And Lily, she deserved it.

---

A few years later, we were at the funeral of one of James' wealthy distant relatives, more out of loyalty to James than anything. At the lavish reception, Lily picked up a glass of firewhiskey, met my eyes, and winked. She downed the glass in one go and pretended to gag into one of the gaudy, overembroidered maroon napkins.

I snorted, and a few of the older relatives looked at me, scandalized. Lily innocently swept past us to charmingly greet James' parents.

She really is something else.


Author's Note: Part two, up and ready for your perusal.
Hope you enjoyed it :)

lunaleth