A/N: It's been so long peoples and I'm so, so very sorry. My classes have kept me up until late in the night and then the last couple of weekends, I had to prepare for an open house and then we had the open house so…All of you will be happy to here that I have three whole wonderful, zealous weeks off from school. You now what that means (wink). I'm so happy, I got a lot of reviews, so read, enjoy, and review again.
P.S. none of you were expecting what will occur in this chapter, those of you that sort of guessed right were anonymous reviewers, and I had no way of sending you a preview!
Sit back and try not to cry people!
PMYM
Chapter 7:
Secrets & Friends
"Look in the mirror. The face that pins you with its double gaze reveals a chastening secret."
-Diane Ackerman
Part One: Sakura
Sakura, sat on the porch of her house and cried…cried until she could cry no more…she was reminiscing the great pains of her life…the reasons why she never liked to get close to anyone… the reasons why at one point in time she wanted to die…
Flashback:
"Bye, Jay," Sakura waved to her friend as she began her three-mile trek home to her small house. Sakura smiled at the nature and the beauty of the world around her, acting carefree and more innocent than one is accustomed too. As she walked, she began to hum her favorite song: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Her mother has always sung this song to her everyday before she went to sleep and the way her mother sang it…well it made, her feel safe and warm…it made her feel accepted. Therefore, it never prepared her for reality and the harshness life could inflict on anyone at any given moment in time.
One minute everything was okay and then… Sakura felt someone grab her and toss her into a car or something. She fought as hard as she could but the man, oh yes, she could tell it was a man, held on to her ever so tightly, not letting her go. Sakura screamed as she realized that the man had thrown her into his car.
"Shut up," shouted the man who shoved the scarf that she was wearing into her mouth, tying it around her head, while binding her hands. The man was young Sakura could tell, not more than twenty or so but he looked disgruntled and upset. Questions kept running through Sakura's head: What is he going to do to me? Why is this happening? Where is he taking me? Will he hurt me? I'm only eleven years old this is not supposed to happen to me. Mama, daddy where are you?
Then one thought above all took hold of her mind: What if he kills me?
Tears started to drip down her eleven-year-old eyes as she realized that she had no clue to what was happening to her. She could do nothing to fight back and if this man did kill her then her parents would miss her. She struggled with her scarf as she felt movement beneath her and she rolled off what looked to be the back seat of a car, onto the dirty floor. Sakura closed her eyes and tried to tune the situation out of her head and reality as best she could:
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Please thought Sakura as the man got out of the car, please don't hurt me. The man opened up the door to the backseat of the car and dragged Sakura out onto cold pavement. She realized then that they were in a garage…only a single light shown down from the ceiling. The man-he came closer.
When the blazing sun is gone,
The man grabbed Sakura and pulled her closer to him.
When there's nothing he shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
The ceiling light created ugly shadows against the garage wall as the man unbuttoned her coat. Her tears glimmered as they hit the brick pavement underneath her small feet that were now bare from the boots that she had worn to school.
Twinkle, twinkle, through the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
"Be a good girl," The man said and took the scarf out of her mouth. Sakura was too petrified with fear to scream, but the tears kept streaming down her face.
In the dark blue sky so deep
Through my curtains often peep
For you never close your eyes
The man observed her now naked body and came closer. He started to unbuckle his pants; he never took his eyes off her body.
'Til the morning sun does rise
Sakura woke up hours later, disheveled and dirty. She was in an alley she realized as the rain begun to pour buckets down upon the lands and her.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
How could this have happened? Sakura thought repeatedly to herself.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Never again will I wonder what or who you are…Sakura thought…never again. She lifted her broken and battered body off the ground, limping all the way home to where her parents were. They had called the cops, the cops had gotten the man's DNA off her body but they never did catch him…
Two months later:
Sakura had realized that she had skipped her last couple of periods so she went and told her mother. Her mother immediately thought of the horrid rape that had occurred and had her tested to find out that she was pregnant. Her mother was horrified but her father believed as she did that abortions were wrong…ethically and morally. Therefore, for seven more months she held the baby inside her womb, suppressing the memories of the pain that that man had inflicted upon her and the incident itself. Her parents supported her all the way, and with their loving support, she made it through the months of pain, misery, and the months of carrying the child.
Two days before the baby was born to be exact, her parents were coming back from their work. You must realize that it was raining heavily, like that of when she woke up from the rape, when she got a phone call. The police had called her to let her know that another car had swerved into her parent's car killing them almost instantly with the impact it had inflicted. Sakura had stood there, the phone dropping from her hands onto the soft luscious carpeted floor…The pain that she had experienced so far in life came back to her hitting her wave after breathtaking hit. The pain was too much as she crumpled to the floor beside the phone where she heard people yelling out to her but their words were meaningless as she stared into the black abyss of her life. The tears didn't come this time, she could not shed any; it would take her life and her essence to shed tears, so she just stared through the windows out into the world outside-into the world of innocence. She remembered that she would never step foot into that world again.
The police rushed to her house with an ambulance because she had never picked the phone back up. They rushed into the room to find Sakura staring off into space, looking lost. It seemed that when they picked her up that she had no clue to what was happening and she had never fully came back into reality until she went into labor two days later and she cried then…it seemed like the only thing she could have done at the time.
Her parent's funeral was a week after the birth of Kin. By then Sakura had moved into her aunt's house, where she was neither liked nor disliked. Her aunt did not like the baby that Sakura cared for and thought that the 'thing' should be put up for adoption, but Sakura ignored her and cared for the child who she at first thought of as her last connection to her parents but soon above all that connection ended and she fell in love with the child who she held in her arms while watching the caskets descend down into the moist dirt where they would never be seen again.
Sakura walked away from the grave deciding that with the caskets beneath the ground she too would bury herself…at least her memories in the darkest recesses of her mind until she could deal with them again. As she stepped into her aunt's car with Kin in her arms, she realized that the rain that glided down from the serous clouds was the only thing that truly connected her to pain.
End of Flashback:
Back onto the porch:
The tears still gently fell from Sakura's eyes as she looked to the sky and thought:
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Sakura looked to the stars one more time and watched as a star flew across the sky. Sakura decided it couldn't hurt to make a wish: a wish, that maybe one day she will be able to deal with the pain of her past.
Sakura stared for another few seconds at the sky, then opened the front door, and closed it to the outside world, to the world that would someday help her relive and retell her past without the pain that she now felt within her soul.
Part Two: Sasuke
Sasuke had left after the girls had left. He went to his favorite bar where the rests of the guys decided to join him in a couple of drinks well all accept for Naruto who couldn't hold his liquor for beeswax. Sasuke had also picked up another girl to sleep with but this time it was different…for some reason kissing the girl provoked him and he knew not the reason other than that for some reason he didn't like it.
It still didn't stop Sasuke from sleeping with the girl but as he woke up in the morning beside the girl and of course kicked her out, he realized that maybe there was something missing. As he ran his fingers through his silky hair while lying in the bed he felt empty but ignored the growing feeling…that was now coming down upon him.
He got up for school, taking a shower and putting his clothes on in a rush so that he would be able to pick Naruto up on his way to school. When he escaped through the garage yet again and got into his Mustang, the one Naruto so adored he drove off towards Naruto's house. Upon arrival, Naruto jumped in and greeted him, but he wasn't all with himself today and even Naruto could see this.
"Sasuke, you alright man?" Naruto asked in a concerned voice, which was usually unlike him.
"Yeah, just got some stuff on my mind," Sasuke replied and turned the corner to his school where he parked his car and walked with Naruto up to his group of friends who seemed somewhat happy.
"What are you guys so happy about," Naruto asked wanting to share in the excitement.
"We're all off the hook for having to go to the dance because the girls said that they have something better to do and decided that we don't have to go to the dance with them." Sai replied a hint of a smile danced upon his lips.
"Speaking of the girls where are they?" Naruto asked wanting to confirm what Neji said with Hinata.
"Who knows, they went off with Sakura and Konan over to the lunch tables on the opposite side of the school yet again," Shikamaru stated matter-of-factly.
"The more they hang out together the more suspicious I get of that Sakura girl," Neji whispered. "She has changed them and they have been holding secrets from us that I do not like."
"You are paranoid man," Naruto said slapping Neji on the back, as any friend would do.
"Maybe," Neji replied and started to walk over to the lunch tables that were located oh so far away from them. The other guys followed behind and watched as the other girls were laughing and talking freely amongst themselves like there were no problems in the world.
Part 3: Sakura
"So…" Ino trailed off, "we have to go shopping this weekend."
Sakura noticed the guys arriving and she didn't catch what Ino was saying as the guys walked up to their girlfriends and friends.
"What did you say," Sakura addressed Ino.
"I said we should go shopping this weekend," Ino replied slightly irritated that Sakura hadn't heard her the first time.
"Ummm…can we not," Sakura asked.
The guys raised an eyebrow at her and so did the girls. No one had ever said no to Ino.
"What I mean is that we have a lot to accomplish and I wouldn't want…" Sakura trailed off realizing that she was about to say 'Kin to be found out yet.'
"You're off the hook this week," Ino stated realizing what Sakura was about to say.
"Hinata, are we not going to the dance this Friday," Naruto asked and wrapped his arms around Hinata's waist, resting his head on her shoulder.
"No, I made other plans and I know you really didn't want to go other than to drag Sasuke with you," Hinata replied.
"That's right," Naruto popped his head up off of Hinata's shoulder to look at Sasuke who had a big smirk across his face.
"You realize I only bet on this dance, idiot," Sasuke stated.
Naruto was about to protest when Temari intervened.
"I could always go with you to the dance for a bit Naruto," Temari said wanting to get back at Sasuke for something he did yesteryear.
Naruto was now the one smirking and Sasuke was now glaring at Temari who was laughing at him. Naruto knew though, that Temari would never go with him because Shikamaru would never permit it.
"They act like little kids," Sakura whispered to Konan.
"Then what are you miss prissy," Konan laughed back at her. Sakura stunned the group by sticking her tongue out at Konan.
"I never denied it," Sakura laughed. Her smile and eyes were bright with amusement, they day had been good to her and she was happily trying to forget the memories she had let take over her yesterday.
Konan wore a worried look even though she was laughing because she did notice the stress lines under Sakura's eyes and in addition, they looked puffy from crying.
A raindrop landed upon Sakura's cheek and she looked to the sky and noticed the building rain clouds.
"Guys, I think we should get some cover like now," Sakura spoke to the entire group, "but maybe you," she directed towards Sasuke, "should stay out in the rain to get a shower."
Sasuke glared at her while the group laughed and ran for cover as the rain began to drop more and more.
Flashback:
"Please no," a frightened Sakura whimpered.
Sakura stopped midway as the flashback hit her and then she ran towards where her friends were. Sakura hated the rain, to her it meant pain and sorrow, something se hated and despised more than any other thing in the world.
"You alright," the apathetic Gaara brought up as he saw Sakura's lost in time expression.
"I'm fine," Sakura said hurriedly. Sakura noticed that Sasuke was watching her carefully so she tried to better compose herself. "It's just I hate the rain."
"What's so wrong with it? It brings us the beautiful plants we see and it cleans the air." Konan said staring into the rain as if it brought newfound life to the world.
"It's…just that for however long I can remember whenever it rains something bad happens." Sakura whispered and let a drop of the rain land upon her finger. Sakura turned to the group, her face was surreal and distraught as she walked away from them in a dreamlike state.
"The bells going to ring," she said with her back to the now confused group. Sasuke watched her with a surprised expression but she didn't care, she had to get out of the rain, at least for now.
Ring!
The bell rung about ten seconds after she said that and the group followed her and then went to their own classes.
Surprisingly Sasuke walked up to Sakura, "Remember the rain doesn't last." He whispered to her and walked past her into the classroom.
Sakura was surprised that he had talked to her at all under the circumstances.
"Thank you," She whispered back to him as she sat down but he didn't respond either not hearing her or not caring what she said.
If she thought about it closely after the rain happiness bloomed, maybe not covering up all of the mess and pain that occurred but at least most of it.
Sakura sat and took her notes while trying to focus on what the teacher was saying but at the same time she wanted to ask Sasuke why he had said that to her. When the bell had rung signaling the end of class Sasuke hurriedly stood up and walked out before Sakura could speak with him.
Sakura walked to yearbook class in a daze. When she sat down the girls looked at her in a concerned way.
"What's wrong," Tenten asked the dazed Sakura.
"It's just the rain, it brings up to many memories that swarm inside my mind making it feel like a stormy sea where nothing is as it seems to be," Sakura whispered to her friends. She then spilled the fact that she was also raped on a rainy day and that the day her parents died it was raining heavily too.
"Oh, Sakura, I'm so sorry," Ino, whispered along with Tenten and Temari.
"It's okay, I have to live with it not you guys," Sakura smiled weakly and finished decorating her assigned spread with beautiful flowers and smiley faces. "No one's life is perfect, especially mine."
"Don't say that," Tamari argued, "Everyone has a point in their life where nothing goes right and I've also seen my parent's die."
Sakura stared at her in shock.
"Sometimes," Temari went on, "you just have to connect with people who have gone through the same situation as you and connect like we are. I just can't say that I was raped."
"Plus we're your friends we'll help you through anything in life that comes your way and you have trouble dealing with yourself," Tenten whispered and squeezed her hand.
"Sakura you okay, you look pale," Iruka came walking over to the group of girls.
"Yeah I'm fine," Sakura replied and smiled slightly but somehow she knew that Iruka saw right through her fake smile.
"If you want to go to the nurse's office just let me know and I'll sign the pass for you," Iruka said while patting her lightly on the back and walking back over to his desk in the corner of the room where he could supervise all of his students.
Sakura smiled at her teacher and for once, she realized that she had someone other then Kin to rely on, she had friends and teachers that would help her through the problems life would throw at her.
The day went by fashionably quick while Sakura began to look into the rain with less angst then she use to, but the pain she felt when she looked at the distinct droplets still came to her heart.
Part Four: Sasuke
Sasuke had watched Sakura's expression towards the rain and he somehow connected with the pain he saw on her face. He didn't know why he had spoken the words 'remember the rain doesn't last' to Sakura. Sasuke was more or less confused with himself and as he drove home early because football practice had been cancelled because the field was flooded. He didn't know what actions he should take next in life but he did know one thing, maybe Sakura knew what loneliness was because when he had seen that pained expression on her face he also felt waves of loneliness come from her. What kind of loneliness he didn't know, but he knew somehow that he might find out the answer soon enough.
Chapter 7 End
A/N: Well there's chapter 7, the longest chapter I have ever done on the history of fan fiction. I hope you guys liked it, and I had to put this chapter in the story to give both the story more depth and to try to help me with my slight case of writer's block (aka I forgot what I was going to do syndrome.) Nah, I'm just messing with you guys, this chapter was needed for understanding and to get you guys or at least some of you to stop bugging me with the question of Sakura's past. Well there you go.
It has come to my attention that sixty of you have this story on your favorites and or alerts so to be the mean/bad author I'm asking for 26 reviews and if I don't get all of them I'll only update once over my three-week winter break. I know all of you would hate me for it, but that's all I'm asking for: 26 reviews.
moonlesslife
P.S. please excuse the spelling/grammar mistakes yet again!
