A/N: Ahh….I AM SO SORRY! I should have updated way earlier but I've had a lot going on in my life between tests, and studying for the big huge AP European History test. Well…I took it and boy; I hate it because I think I honestly did very, very poorly and yeah. I hope you guys can forgive me, because I've had a on of stuff going on between school and family… I hope you enjoy the chapter and thanks for the fantabulous reviews I finally got to read and appreciate.
P.S. I was in a rush to finish this chapter so there will be errors in grammar and spelling but I figured you guys would prefer not to wait another day for a new chapter!
PMYM
Chapter 12:
What now?
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."
-Albert Einstein
Two weeks and some odd days after the incident….
Part 1: Kin (It feels like the first time in her genuine perspective)
Kin's kindergarten teacher had given them homework today. They had to read and dissect a poem to see how well there English was coming along. Mr. Pain as the kindergartners call him, had written the poem himself. Kin was lying on her bed when she started to read it.
The calm quiet surrounds us,
The butterflies fly,
The birds sing out in joy,
While the little beetles
Dance on the summer figs.
A person watches this sight
And silence and quiet is all they can comprehend.
The poem was confusing Kin, because her homework was to create a theme from the poem but she knew that in order to create a theme, one needed to understand the poem. Kin at the moment was too sad over her mother to comprehend the poem.
Since the day that Sakura took Kin home from Sasuke's, her mother has been depressed but Kin did not understand why. And whenever she would ask her mother what was wrong her mother would reply with:
"Oh, Kin, everything's alright don't you be worried about me," Sakura would murmur and pat and kiss the top of Kin's adorable head.
Kin knew that her mother was hurting inside. Her mother would never speak of her father at all and whenever she mentioned him she would reply:
"Oh, Kin, Sasuke's got some problems right now, don't you go worrying about him now you hear," but the whole time her mom's face would hold a absent minded smile that showed a melancholy, that even the world would have troubles comprehending.
Was that it? Kin thought to herself about the poem in her hands. Is the poem talking about how life can make a person become silent? Or is it talking about the idea that nature frees a person from this world and the things that hold them here?
Aye…I could ask mother but then she'll cause me to hurt inside. Kin's eyes felt like they would surely burst but Kin knew they wouldn't. Her mom had taught her to be strong but yet even Kin realized that her mother was a hypocrite.
Kin put the poem aside and decided that she may as well go to dinner now or at least remind her mother that eating dinner was a must. Kin sighed and got up, putting her quickly finished homework away, opening the door out into the hallway and then started to walk into the living room where she was surprised to see her 'uncle' Itachi.
"Uncle Itachi," Kin addressed him with delight and happiness, "What are you doing here."
She ran up to him and threw her arms around him. Itachi looked surprised but then got over the surprise and hugged her back. Kin's happy face, with a smile and bright eyes, only lasted until she saw her mother-….
Sakura looked like a car had run her over. Her eyes were red and she was crying. She looked depressed to an extreme degree. For some odd reason she didn't seem happy to see Itachi.
"Kin, how have you been doing," Itachi asked her but his smile did not reach his eyes-not even half ways. He set her back on the ground and Kin walked to her mother.
"I've been fine, what about you?" Kin asked politely back.
"Just fine, Kin, just fine," Itachi replied as Kin wrapped her arms around her mother who kissed her head. Kin didn't trust Itachi's words for the same reason that Kin knew that when parents or even other adults repeated things over again, usually they were lies.
Her mother now addressed her.
"Kin, your aunt Ino is coming over to take you to the mall. Go get ready okay." Sakura's smile was trying to lighten the mood and Kin could sense that her mother did not want her here and least of all with Itachi.
Kin did as her mother said, so she would not hurt her mother anymore.
Kin now understood as she watched Itachi and Sakura say nothing, that something was definitely wrong.
Kin now understood that there was only one thing she could do-do as she was told.
Kin knew her heart was slowly breaking.
Kin knew that her parent's had had a fight or something close to it and their differences had surfaced.
And now Kin was headed off to the mall with her aunt Ino, just as a way of keeping her busy.
Part 2: Itachi
Itachi watched as Ino, a blond, walked through the front door smiled at Sakura but snubbed him and took Kin out of the house to the mall or something like that. Itachi now turned back to the tear stained Sakura. Without a word he walked over to her and placed her arms around her, she looked like she needed a hug.
Sakura resisted the hug for several seconds and then just gave in and put her head on Itachi's shoulder the same place Sasuke had placed his hours earlier. Itachi didn't think she would really like to know the latter part.
"Sakura, you know why I'm here right?" Itachi addressed her calmly.
"Sasuke sent you…" she sobbed into his shoulder.
"Not exactly, he doesn't know that I'm here." Itachi said calmly again and lifted up Sakura's head and made her look him directly in the eyes. "You're hurting my brother, and you're hurting yourself, quit it. Sasuke told me what you said and what he did. Can't you see what you have in front of you for crying out loud, the two of you have been crying for days or at least mopping around like two year olds after they're refused cake? Sakura go to Sasuke, he needs you and whether you want to admit it or not, it seems that you need him to. You two have grown on each other in a way few get to experience, you should be lucky!"
"Lucky about what? Wanting to rip off my own head over some guy that I don't know all to well-but I'm sorry to inform you, I hate being this way, my walls are crumbling and you couldn't possible understand how that feels." Sakura looked at him accusingly and spoke with a desperate tone to her voice as if wanting him to understand.
"Sakura…" Itachi's words were lost to Sakura he could see that she wasn't allowing herself to be persuaded. "Look at me, Sakura."
When she didn't look and just deeply buried herself into her shoulder he spoke.
"I'm going to tell you this whether you want to hear it or not, because you need to comprehend your actions and the harm that you are bringing to Sasuke. Don't think you're the only one with a past that's bad!
"When I was thirteen and Sasuke was eight, our mother left us to become a model and well our father sort of permanently moved into his office leaving us alone. Sasuke denies that this effected his bringing up in anyway but it deeply affected him and it didn't help that our parents hated and pushed away my brother because he was not the first born. Sasuke had to stand being treated like a nobody for years. When my parent's spoke his name it was only for one reason-to punish him for something and half of the time it was an accident I did.
"Sakura, you need to understand Sasuke was always pushed away and every time this has happened to him-it slices him in half. When you walked out on him, his last wall broke down like the barrier you had created for yourself. You need to understand, Sasuke cares for you, truly and deeply even if he won't admit it. And you know what, I forgot to add earlier, his parents haven't called or talked to him since they moved out-try to comprehend that.
"Two weeks ago I received a letter from them demanding that I tell Sasuke that he must come visit them for a whole month and that I should drag him if I have to. The letter was sent to me Sakura-not Sasuke. How do you think he feels right now?"
Sakura's sniffles had ended a couple seconds ago but Sakura's head still laid bury in Itachi's shoulder.
"Why didn't he open up to anyone?" Sakura whispered.
"Why didn't you open up to anyone?" Itachi countered.
"So Sasuke was sort of pariah wasn't he?" Sakura asked gently.
"Yes," Itachi said and gently patted Sakura's back.
"I hurt him really badly didn't I?" Sakura asked another question.
"More then you can every dream of knowing." Itachi answered.
"Do you think he will forgive me at all?" Sakura mumbled gently and raised her head from his shoulder.
"I don't know. You'll have to find that out for yourself." Itachi replied trying to soothe her.
"Itachi, can you take me to him?" Sakura asked.
"I can do that, Sakura." Itachi was gentle as he gently patted her cheek and helped her stand up. "You need to help him Sakura, and only you can do that right now Sakura. My words mean nothing to him, but yours do and maybe always will."
Sakura quietly and thoughtfully got up and Itachi guided her out her front door and into Sasuke's Jaguar he had borrowed and he was secretly debating whether to buy one of his own.
Itachi somehow secretly knew that everything between Sakura and Sasuke would get better.
Itachi knew the path to healing lay right before them and that what they needed to do first was to admit their backgrounds and their faults.
Itachi also knew that the letter him mother had sent him would be burned.
Their parents needed to learn a lesson-everyone has a right to live their own lives.
Itachi knew he would never force Sasuke to ever do anything against his will like forcing him to visit their parents who hated him deeply.
Part 3: Sakura
Sakura was still taking in and trying to digest the information Itachi had given her and she hadn't been doing a good job of it. Sakura was hurting inside and she knew everyone around her could see that she was secretly in pain. Especially when she had showed up that Monday two weeks ago and Sasuke walked straight passed her in class and sank down onto a chair in the back. The fan girls hadn't even bugged him for some reason and now Sakura knew why-he had been hurt like her.
Sakura also knew she had been a witch with a b towards him and she knew that many people probably hated her for it too because now she hated herself too. She had hurt Sasuke in the worst way possible-she had denied him the right to have a new family, one that would love and accept him for who he was.
Sakura knew though that she wouldn't be able to truly forgive him for kissing her, but that kiss was like magic, a magic that needed to be held closely and understood. Sakura needed closure even if she was the one that had hurt him. Leaving him crying like that was wrong.
At one point, she had hated when someone broke up with someone else and now look at her she had played into her own hates. She had broken her vow not to hurt herself or anyone else around her. She didn't trust herself any more because of this.
What could she tell Sasuke to make him feel better? What could she tell herself, in that matter, to make herself forgive herself? She was a horrid person for hurting him. She was a horrendous monster who didn't deserve the righteous life she had been given. She didn't deserve it at all.
As soon as Itachi pulled into Sasuke's driveway, Sakura knew that asking for forgiveness and giving it would take a while so she turned towards Itachi.
"Itachi, when Ino drops Kin off in an hour will you look after Kin tonight…" Sakura asked Itachi.
"Yes, of course. Good luck Sakura, Sasuke can be a stubborn mule but remember even he can fall off a mental cliff into an abyss of black." Itachi said as Sakura got out of the car.
She heard the Jaguar purr and take off and she knew that Itachi would create a stronger bond with Kin. That would be a good thing in every way. Sakura needed both Kin and Itachi on her side. She needed anyone and everyone to get through life.
Sakura made her way up the driveway to the door and knocked. A maid answered the door and Sakura stepped once again into Sasuke's house.
The maid smiled kindly at her, but there was a hint of distrust within her eyes and Sakura closed hers and breathed in.
"Do you know where Sasuke is?" Sakura asked the maid a simple question.
"He's…in his room. Maybe I should tell him he has visitor." The maid stuttered out.
"No thank you, I want to have the privilege to talk to him alone. Thanks." Sakura politely replied and started her trek up the stairs and to Sasuke's bedroom.
Sakura breathed in deeply and started to turn the knob.
"Itachi, get out and stay out please," Sakura gasped as she heard Sasuke's hoarse voice.
He was talking to Itachi not her and he probably really, supremely hated her right now.
There was only one thing left to do and that was to open the door fully and walk in, so she did. The sight before her was one, Sakura didn't expect.
Sasuke sitting there by the window only clad in boxers but his eyes were red-rimmed, almost swollen and he looked liked he had lost weight. When he turned around to see her, she knew that he was at a loss for words.
Part 4: Sakura & Sasuke (I get to do them together again, hooray!!!!!!!!!)
He looked at her as she looked at him, not saying anything.
Sakura…Sasuke's mind reeled.
Sasuke…Sakura's mind reeled.
"I…" Sakura began and almost lost her nerve as she turned her back towards him. She took a step back towards the door not knowing how to proceed and just wanting to get out of here-away from him, away from herself.
Sasuke knew he couldn't let her escape him, not again. It was one thing to pass by her at school, but he couldn't let her go now that he had her so close.
He rushed up and grabbed her upper arm not letting go.
Words between them went unspoken as Sasuke's arms wrapped around her from behind, but the words were known to both of them.
"Sakura, I've missed you so much," Sasuke whispered into her ear and lightly nuzzled her neck, taking a whiff of her gentle cherry scent.
"Sasuke," He could hear her tears coming down her face and then he could see them as she turned around and faced him.
"I'm sorry, if I had known…" Sakura knew the words she wanted to say would never be found when she was directly in front of him, Sasuke. Sakura somehow knew that she'd almost always be at a loss of words around him most of the time.
Sasuke was hurt. Sakura had seen to that, but just the sight of her within his arms, erased some of the long standing hatred he held for her.
"Shhh….Sakura," Sasuke whispered and gently yet urgently kissed the side of her mouth causing her to close her eyes. He watched as the tears slowly came to an end and he watched as she slowly let him kiss her lips fully.
This time she wasn't backing away from him. She was gently kissing him back and his heart felt a little more whole then it had been.
Sakura broke the passion ignited kiss and squeezed Sasuke tightly.
"I hate myself," She murmured to him. "I hurt you and myself, and I cannot describe how sorry I am. Itachi told me…about your parents."
Sasuke closed his eyes briefly and groaned. He knew that Itachi would do something like that and he knew that in the long run he would probably be really grateful to Itachi for telling her about the things he himself hated admitting to.
Before Sakura could say anything else, Sasuke intercepted her. "Don't pity me Sakura; you don't like pity and neither do I."
"I know Sasuke, but it's so hard not to…" Sakura whispered into his bare chest.
"I feel the same about your past…" Sasuke whispered into her ear again. "I need to know, why did you really leave me? For the last two weeks I think I was living in Hades, I never knew how much I had come to depend on you."
"I felt the same way Sasuke…I guess I left you because I was afraid of getting hurt. I knew that you were a player and I knew you strived to break girls' hearts but…but…I had found out about the bet you had made with your gang members. It hurt Sasuke, finding out that you had bet that you could get me to sleep and/or make you fall in love with me."
Sasuke was shocked to hear that she had found out about the bet. He had totally forgotten about it, and he probably figured that the guys had told her because they wanted him to lose. He felt like killing a certain couple of peoples right now.
"I'm sorry; I really was going to cut off the bet. After I found out about Kin, I knew that I stood no chance of winning…" Sasuke realized the words he had said and nearly bit his tongue off for saying them to her.
"You're a jerk," Sakura pulled away and lightly play slapped him and then forced him into a kiss.
Sasuke was the one to pull away this time.
"I'm really not as bad as you make me out to be." Sasuke whispered.
"You're right," Sasuke was surprised by the stiffness of her words but he smiled when she said, "You're way worse."
"Sakura…" Sasuke's voice now held a melancholy tone to it. "I need to know, is everything from this second forward fine between us."
"Yes, Sasuke, I think it is and I'm sorry," Sakura whispered again.
"Don't be, every couple fights, I guess ours are just a little bigger and worse than other couples," Sasuke murmured.
Sakura gulped, "We're a couple?"
Sasuke chuckled. "Of course, sweetheart, so that means please, next time if there's a problem please come tell me before you go yelling at me shouting things I really don't like."
"I'm-" Sakura was cut off by Sasuke's hand.
"Don't you dare say 'I'm sorry' again or I will tickle you," Sasuke murmured.
"Sasuke, our relationship…" Sakura began but blushed.
"We'll take it one step at a time and if I ever push you or you I, I want you to promise to voice your thoughts and I will mine."
"Of course Sasuke…" Sakura whispered into his chest again, and then said, "Ummm…Sasuke I really think you should put some pants on.
Sasuke lightly blushed and whispered an obscenity and Sakura laughed, pulling away from his arms.
"I'll go explore your house now. Come find me after you're done." Sakura waved and ran out the door before Sasuke could stop her.
End of Chapter
A/N: Whoa, it's getting late and I have to get off the computer so I'll end the chapter there. Thanks for reading it! To me, the chapter started off boring because well…I had a huge case of writers blocks and just sat there staring at the computer for an hour or so. Well towards the end of the chapter I started remembering what my original plot line was and well, the next chapter should be far more superb then this one.
Another thing two songs "Just a dream" by Carrie Underwood and "Citizen Solider" by 3 doors down helped give me inspiration for this chapter. If you haven't heard either of them I highly recommend them, so go check them out.
One last thing, I want 40 reviews, because well over 115 people have this on their favorites and alerts and hardly none you guys ever review so please do because I like it when people tell me I'm doing something right or wrong. It helps me create future stories and story ideas for later chapter and such.
Thanks, moonlesslife
