Being sick makes me sad, and sadness makes me want to write fanfiction. xP I actually wanted to pick fanfiction over homework but it was like 'NO! HOMEWORK FIRST!!'. Surprisingly it's not math that takes the longest, which creeps me out a little. You know, I just realized I've had to do way too much research to do this fic xP I wanted to make sure my facts were at least somewhat accurate. I shouldn't have to research this much for a fic, haha. I've had so much writers block with this chapter because I wanted to make sure I had enough material for at least another chapter. Oh, and if anyone can figure out the reason behind the number he punched into the vending machine you get a virtual cookie. And what's with all my bitchy characters? Maybe I'm subconsciously writing myself in. Wow this was a long author's note.

A special thanks to my first ever beta reader HeWhoReads!

Enjoy.


A few weeks later, the day that was anxiously waited for had come. The day when all the fear of the unknown could melt away. Today was the day that they would stop the medication Shuichi was receiving in order to stay in his coma. They would take him off the medication in the morning so by the afternoon or early evening he would wake up. Eiri was relieved and hoped this would mean less time at the hospital. He was tired. Tired of waiting, and physically drained. He felt like a sink, just slowly being drained until finally he would have no energy left. Even though Shuichi really couldn't do anything in his comatose state, he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that if he fell asleep or left for any reason something was going to happen, and he wouldn't be there to do anything about it. So there he was, watching and waiting. Waiting and watching. It was the longest six hours of his life, waiting there to see what would happen when Shuichi woke up. Technically 'when and if' would be more precise, but he refused to believe Shuichi wouldn't wake up or wouldn't survive when he did. Shuichi was too strong for that, he knew it. The doctor reminded him several times that it could take longer than six hours for him to wake up, so he shouldn't keep his hopes too high. He propped his elbow on the armrest of the chair, and then rested his head in the palm of his hand. Shuichi was usually so cute when he slept, now he would never be able to see him like that again after this. That was the last thought that crossed his mind before he slowly fell asleep against his will.

When he woke up, he had quite the surprise. Shuichi was staring back at him. He squinted. Was he seeing that? Shuichi blinked at him, seeming to wonder why he looked so confused. Actually, Shuichi looked pretty confused too. He noticed, while observing, that Shuichi was awake but his eyes just didn't seem as cheerful as they were before when he used to gaze into them. He could tell he was confused, but the emotion was very weak. Usually the emotion emanating from Shuichi was so strong it was like you were being hit in the face with a brick. Today it seemed tired and weak, like he just couldn't muster the energy to do it.

"So, you finally decided to wake up huh?" he said to him as he normally would. He wasn't ready to admit he'd been there that whole time and actually cared. Shuichi blinked some more. It seemed to be the only way he could indicate anything. Eiri could tell he was scared and confused, which made him angry that no hospital staff had come yet. How could his Shuichi not be good enough to receive immediate attention?! He wasn't ready to admit that, either, but it was really ticking him off. He thought that too soon, however, because shortly after, a doctor and a few nurses came in.

"It's nice to be in your company again, ." the doctor smiled at him. That was one reason Eiri wanted to leave; he was sick and tired of that damn happy doctor. He didn't even know his name. He just called him Dr. Too Damn Happy. He sort of wondered how he hadn't figured out his name yet, but that didn't matter at the moment. Shuichi blinked at the doctor some more.

"Don't worry, we'll get rid of that breathing tube and see if you can talk with us soon, okay? I just need to check a few things first." Eiri almost dove out of his chair with all the medical staff poking and prodding at his lover. That's what it seemed like from his perspective, anyways. Actually, he saw them like a pack of wild animals going in for the kill. He was surprised Shuichi wasn't indicating distress. However he figured perhaps he was too weak to. Eiri was not pleased that he had to leave when the time cameto take the breathing tube out. He thought about going down to get some food, but he hadn't watched TV since he first got there, and wasn't sure if there were still paparazzi waiting to attack. He saw a vending machine at the end of the hall and went over to it, looking inside. There was nothing he really wanted but his stomach was practically harassing him to eat something. He punched in the number 212 and watched as the candy bar moved forward....and stopped. He hit the side of the machine, seeing if it would cause the bar to fall, but nothing happened. He then shook the machine, his face flushing in exasperation. The nurses at the station were staring at him, giving each other occasional, puzzled glances.

"Uhm...sir? Do you need any help?" a nurse finally asked, and Eiri hung his head in defeat. She went over and put her hand up through the slot where you received your item and knocked it down. She pulled it out and handed it to him.

"There you go." He stared at the bar, and to her, then back to the bar. Why didn't he think of that? He must have been more sleep deprived than he thought. She smiled and went back to the nurses' station. He stared at the bar. It was an odd thing. One moment he was starving, and the next, all his hunger had vanished. Of course, he ate it anyway just to show it who was boss.

When Eiri returned, they were finished with Shuichi.

"If anything concerns you, call us right away." the doctor instructed him as he left. Eiri nodded and went in, feelingno different than the first time he went to see him. He was sitting up this time, staring out the window with a vacant expression. "Hey." he said to catch his attention. Shuichi looked over, and Eiri cringed. He still seemed so lifeless, and so sad. "What, you don't want to talk to me?" he said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, causing it to creak slightly with the extra weight. Shuichi stared up at him, his expression unchanging. "Do you hate me?" he asked. Shuichi slowly shook his head. "Then why won't you talk to me?...or maybe it's you want to, but you can't..." he realized, and Shuichi nodded to indicate that was, indeed, correct. "...I see..." he replied, followed by a long awkward silence. The silence was broken by a nurse bringing some food. She put it on a small table and rolled it over to Shuichi. He raised his hand, but even without holding the fork his arm was shaking.

"Here, how about I handle that." the nurse smiled and took the fork. She started to feed him, but Shuichi leaned away from the offer, reluctant to eat. "Come on, it's good for you. You can't get better if you don't eat," the nurse a moment of hesitation, Shuichi complied. He ate slowly and quietly, not seeming too interested in doing so.

"Why doesn't he want to eat?" Eiri almost demanded, sending a cold glare in the nurse's direction.

"I don't know, maybe he's still a bit out of it from the medication." said the nurseas she continued to feed him. After he'd eaten about half of thefood on the tray, he refused to continue. "Alright, alright. We'll see if you'll eat more tomorrow." she picked up the tray and left with it. Shuichi stared out the window again, his vacant expression returning.

"Do you want to go outside before it gets dark?" Eiri asked him, and Shuichi quickly looked over to him. He had a hint of excitement to his expression, although he still looked the same overall. Eiri went out and got a pass to leave along with a wheelchair. Once he situated Shuichi into the wheelchair, he began their trip to the outside world. Shuichi seemed pleased to just get out of the room. Eiri made sure to glare at the vending machine on his way to the elevators. Once inside, Shuichi stared at himself in the mirrors with an almost confused expression. "What?" Eiri asked him, and then Shuichi looked down. "You didn't think you looked that bad huh?" he said, somehow able to tell what he was thinking, "It'll get better..." After he said it, he thought about it and realized he didn't even know if it would get better. Would Shuichi be like this the rest of his life? He poked his head out the back door and came out cautiously, making sure there wasno one there to bombard them. He then walked down the street and to a traffic light where he waited for the signal to change. That was when he noticed something. Shuichi flinched every time a car made a turn. "Hey...are you alright?" he asked him, and Shuichi nodded quickly. Although he said he was alright, Eiri could tell that he was anything but that. When the signal changed, he made sure to cross the street quickly. Once on the other side, he leaned over and hugged him.

Shuichi blinked, utterly had no idea where the hug came from, but It did make him feel better. He just wished he could hug back. Eiri then continued to push him down the sidewalk. He felt odd. Eiri glared at anyone who stared at them from under his sunglasses, but deep down he felt a bit self conscious. He kept reminding himself it couldn't be as bad as how Shuichi felt. They stopped in front of a lake with lots of ducks swimming around. Eiri figured he would enjoy that. And he did. He almost looked like he did before the accident. He wondered how a simple trip to the park could make him feel so happy. While lost in his thoughts, Shuichi had bent his head back to stare at him. Eiri looked down to him.

"What?" Shuichi blinked at him, the only way he could currently communicate. "Don't worry about me, you're the one who's hurt, remember?" he replied to his silence. He shrugged and looked forward again at the ducks swimming around in the pond. "So...where do we go from here?" Shuichi shrugged, not really knowing what would happen. "I think we should move." Eiri said suddenly. Shuichi frowned and looked over to him again. "Somewhere no one will find us. Too much chaos over here." he continued. "You won't get better with all of this." Shuichi gave him a look that could scold him without words. "What? It's the truth. There's too many people around to bother you, and it's just too busy. We should go somewhere small." He was surprised at himself for saying all of this. Did he really want to do this? In the end he had to do what he felt was best for Shuichi. Plus it could help him with the writing he's been missing. "Besides, I never knew you to be one to reject alone time with me." he smirked and the scolding expression on Shuichi's face got stronger. "I guess we'll think about it. Let's go back before it gets dark." he wheeled Shuichi back to the hospital. Again, he noticed every time a car went by, Shuichi would flinch. He wondered if he had been psychologically scarred because of the accident.

When they arrived back at the hospital, Shuichi had fallen asleep somewhere from going into the hospital to going up to his room. When they got in there he picked him up and went to put him on the bed, but there was one problem. The moment Shuichi was in Eiri's arms, he clung to him, making it impossible for him to put the other down. He sighed and laid on the bed with him, and Shuichi seemed happy with this. He snuggled into him and was settled once again. Eiri watched him. He still looked bad even in his sleep. He did look pretty cute, though. It seemed now every time he looked at him, he felt sad instead of happy. He didn't think he could ever make it up to him no matter what Shuichi said. He figured he would make him happy any way he could, even if it meant he had to change in the process. Eventually, watching Shuichi sleep made him sleepy, and he drifted off to sleep as well.

The following day, Shuichi was visited by a therapist who was going to try and figure out why he wasn't able to speak. Eiri kind of wished Dr. Too Damn Nice would be the therapist, because this person did not seem kind in the slightest. She seemed downright nasty. She kept firing questions at Shuichi, who seemed intimidated by her. It was like she felt he was beneath her.

"Say ahh," she said, frowning. Although it seemed like she had been frowning the whole time. Shuichi opened his mouth but no sounds came out. "I said say ahh," he voice got sterner and Shuichi winced. He tried again but still no sounds came out, he just couldn't seem to produce a sound. "NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR VOCAL CHORDS SO SAY IT!" she yelled at him. Eiri was beginning to wonder if she was really qualified. Shuichi hid under the covers and made a squeaking noise like a mouse being attacked by a cat. "Good, we have sounds," she wrote something down on her clip board. Shuichi stared at Eiri from under the covers with terrified eyes and Eiri shook his head. "So obviously you can talk, you just don't want to," she came to a conclusion.

"I don't think so, I think he's just been scared away from his voice." Eiri commented. "He needs confidence to get it back."

"I'm the expert here and I say he's being stubborn." she replied, writing down some more.

"I hope that's not what you're putting down," he replied calmly, "because it sounds very opinionated."

She looked up, "I know what's best, thank you."

"Right, you know what's best for someone you've only known two minutes and scared the shit out of."

"Actually, I do." she took her clipboard and left, walking with an attitude.

"I can't wait to leave here...they're all crazy..." he mumbled to himself and looked back to Shuichi, who was still under the covers. "You can come out now, y'know." he said, but Shuichi stayed under the covers, looking like a puppy during a thunderstorm. He went over and pulled the covers off easily since Shuichi wasn't strong enough to hold onto them. "Come on." he helped him sit up again, "You can't sulk like that all the time." Shuichi raised an eyebrow. "What?" he asked, confused now too. Shuichi pointed to him. "Okay fine, I do that. But you're not supposed to." he crossed his arms in defeat. "Besides, you have to go to physiotherapy today, too." Shuichi made a silent groan and hung his head. He just woke up, yet he was already tired from the day's events, and he had barley done anything. "Don't worry, I'll come with you. I don't trust anyone here..." He looked around as if someone was watching him. Shuichi raised his head a bit with a pout and Eiri ruffled his hair. "Do you want me to take you down?" He nodded slowly. He got his wheelchair and went over to him, going to pick him up. Shuichi, however, was stubborn and tried to get up on his own, only to find himself making out with the floor. Eiri sighed and picked him up and put him in his chair. "Idiot..." He pushed him down to the therapy floor where a therapist was waiting for him. At least he looked nicer than the other one did.

"Hello , are you ready to be on the road to walking again?" he asked. Shuichi shook his head and the therapist laughed. "Don't worry, I won't work you too hard." Before Eiri knew it, he decided he wanted the female back. All the inappropriate touching made him want to mark his territory, and he meant that in the way all you readers are thinking of. Well, at least to him it was inappropriate. Any man putting his hands on his lover would constitute as inappropriate touching. Shuichi smiled at him every so often to reassure him, which made him feel better that at least he was happy now, even though he hadn't wanted to come earlier. Once he was done, the therapist went to talk to him. "If both of you wantto, you can practice between sessions." he said, "It'll help the recovery go faster." Eiri nodded, still glaring at him. The therapist was very uncomfortable and said goodbye to Shuichi before leaving. Shuichi sat in his chair and gave a smug look to Eiri.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" he frowned. Suddenly herealized Shuichi knew of his jealousy. "Oh come on, you saw him put his hand on your....arm..." he realized how stupid that sounded once he said it and only proved Shuichi's point."You know what? Shut up." he pushed him back to his room and Shuichi sighed, his lover was always going to be his lover no matter how hard he tried. "Look, I'll watch that documentary about Nittle Grasper that's on today with you, okay?" he rolled his eyes, and Shuichi clapped with delight, forgetting it was on since he still hadn't regained a concept of time. On the way, he saw the back of a familiar person and realized he didn't just want to move away for Shuichi. He hoped he was wrong, but there was no doubting someone dressed like that. He tried to walk past without being noticed but it didn't work.

"Eiri, do you think you can just ignore me like that?" Tohma asked, frowning.

"It's not ignoring if I didn't know it was you." Eiri lied, continuing to walk down the hall. He quickened his pace to try and get there before they said anything else to each other. He dropped Shuichi off in the room and then came back out. "What do you want?"

"What, I can't be concerned about you?" Tohma frowned, taking his gloves off one finger at a time.

"You're always concerned about me, but you don't always show up. What's the deal?" he asked, crossing his 'd been doing that a lot lately.

"I just think you're spending a little too much time here is all. You need to get out more." he replied. Even though he had said it nicely, he was still being an ass.

"I went out yesterday with Shuichi." he replied. "Does that not count?"

"No, I mean you should go home, do some book signings, stuff like that." he replied. "You have an image to uphold."

"If Mika was in the hospital I'm sure you'd be here with her. Oh wait, you wouldn't." he rolled his eyes at him.

"No need to be nasty." Tohma frowned again. "I'm merely making a suggestion."

"You're implying I leave Shuichi, and I know you mean in more ways than leaving the hospital. He's there for me...I should be there for him." he stood up for himself. He felt he sounded too mushy, but it was the truth. Shuichi was always there for him, no matter what. So the one time he needed him to be there, he wasn't going to back down.

"I'm just looking out for your career. Your fans are getting impatient. Have you forgotten you were supposed to release a book last week? I don't even think you've finished." he pointed out. Damn, he was right. He had completely forgotten. He knew he had to work on writing but he didn't realize he was supposed to have stuff done.

"There's nothing I can really do now..." he replied, and it was true.

"I've arranged an interview for you in a couple hours. You can go and save yourself, or you can stay here and watch a documentary on Nittle Grasper on the music network." he replied. How did he know that? He was psychic, he had to be. He looked down the hall, and then back at Tohma. He looked at the clock. He could make the interview and come back to watch TV with Shuichi.

"Fine, I'll go." he sighed, and Tohma smiled, now that he had succeeded.

"Great! Come on then, you need to get cleaned up. You look terrible." He took his hand and led him out of the hospital. Eiri looked back down the hall again, hoping nothing would go wrong. He probably just jinxed it there. After the interview was a signing, and after the signing was a party, and after the party his editor wanted him to work on the book while in their presence so he knew he was doing it. It was one in the morning by the time he returned to the hospital, and he was scared to face Shuichi. He figured it couldn't be that bad, but oh it was. Shuichi gave him the biggest puppy face he'd ever seen in his life when he walked in the door. He didn't have to speak to guilt trip him.

"...I'm sorry..." he didn't know what else he could say to him, not to mention he rarely apologized to him. Shuichi's lip quivered and it looked like he was going to spontaneously burst into tears at any moment. "I got caught up...we could probably catch it on a different time zone's channel...?" he tried to make it better but it wasn't working. "You can complain to Tohma about it, it was his fault. He tricked me!" he tried placing the blame elsewhere now, but that made Shuichi remember he couldn't sing anymore and burst into tears. He was crying so hard it looked like he could fill the ocean. Of course, Eiri thought he was why Shuichi started crying and felt horrible now. He sat on the edge of the bed. "Hey...stop crying....stop crying....," he sighed and then hugged him, but Shuichi kept crying. He sighed again and looked down at him, "Remember, when we leave we'll have alone time again..." Shuichi looked up with the same big eyes. "Really...no more distractions." he reassured him and Shuichi slowed hiscrying and leaned into him.

In the silence, a voice spoke.

"I love you." said the raspy voice. Eiri blinked and looked down to see Shuichi smiling up at him.

"I thought you couldn't talk?" He was skeptical.

"It took motivation." Shuichi replied quietly, Eiri almost had to stop breathing just to hear him.

"So do you think you'll be able to sing again?" he asked him. He wished he could.

Shuichi looked down. "I don't think so. I might only be able to talk like this, if anything." Eiri pulled him in closer to reassure him again.

"You probably will, you're too strong not to." he said, not looking at him.

"Ne ne Yuki~ Was that compliment~?" he poked him, but then started to cough. Too much talking.

"Yea yea, don't get cocky on me. You're still not well enough." He punched him jokingly, but he tried to make it seem like he was serious. Shuichi could always see through his masks, though. Eiri turned on the TV and did indeed find the documentary on another channel. Shuichi got himself all comfortable, leaning on Eiri so he could watch with his lover. Eiri was watching Shuichi more than he was watching the show. He was glad that, although slowly, the other was starting to get better. Even though a light at the end of a tunnel was seen, it wasn't over yet. They still had to deal with life back at home and try to get back to normal once again.

~END CHAPTER 3~