A LETTER FROM OUR FRIENDS: Obligatory thanks goes here! I appreciate you guys, each and every one of you. I FUCKING APPRECIATE YOU. So, keep on using that noodle and reading my bullshit! (And tell me things! It makes me happy to have people tell me things, good or bad. SO TELL ME THINGS.) Also, sorry for the delay; I've been a bit busy with many many things! MOVING ON…


"Press conference?" Nathan asked indignantly, eyes narrowing at what Charles had just told them. "What the fuck for? We shouldn't be going off and talking to the press, we're hungry!"

Charles sighed and stared back at Nathan. He knew this was going to enrage everyone, but it was vital that they do this press conference. The band had to keep up appearances; the show must go on, dead or otherwise. And the best way for the fans to get the news was straight from the Thunderhorse's mouth.

"What Nathan's trying to say is that this ain't gonna be a good thing, us goin' out on an empty stomach," Pickles explained. "We go out there and what we're gonna see is a big buffet. All you can eat people."

In fact, the band was having a lot of trouble restraining themselves from eating Charles. It was kind of obvious now, from the human smell he gave off, that he wasn't actually a robot. It would have been a lot easier for them if he was. Toki especially found himself staring at Charles, his dead eyes trained on the manager, watching his every move, imagining what it would be like to just crack open his skull.

Charles found their empty, dead, hungry stares slightly unnerving, but he could keep cool under pressure. And, if necessary, he'd be able to subdue them before they'd get a chance to bite him. He was prepared.

"Whats happensed to the foods we were goings to get?" Skwisgaar asked. "Didn'ts you say that's they were makings foods for us?"

Charles sighed. "Yes, they're working on it. It's not done yet."

"Sho what do you expect ush to do?" Murderface asked. He scowled. "We have to eat shomething or we'll shtarve!"

Toki said nothing, still staring creepily at Charles. He let out a soft groan of hunger.

"Toki, stops thats," Skwisgaar said, backhanding Toki in the head.

Toki blinked and looked around at everyone. "Whats?" he said, genuinely confused, staring at Skwisgaar. "I didn't do anythings! Why did you hits me?"

"You ams wanting to eats Charles," Skwisgaar said, glaring at Toki.

"No I'm nots!" Toki protested, crossing his arms. "I'm nots."

"Let's just say we all want to eat Charles," Pickles said. "Sorry, Charles."

Charles sighed. "Look. It doesn't matter who wants to eat who. What does matter is that you've got a press conference in an hour."


Dethklok stood in front of a crowd of reporters, unsure of what to say. Hoping that it would help them focus, they'd eaten a lot of raw beef, but it didn't seem to do much to stop the hunger.

"What'd I say. It's a fucking buffet," Pickles muttered out of the side of his mouth.

"Uh… hi," Nathan said into the microphone. He squinted at the speech that had been prepared for him, but, his head swimming with hunger, he couldn't focus enough to read it.

All he could focus on was the writhing mass of meat—no, no, the crowd, the people, the reporters. Anything but meat, Nathan thought. The reporters tittered to each other, wondering why the press conference was being held, wondering what sort of interesting tidbits they'd get for their publications.

Nathan swallowed. "Um… we're gathered here today to—"

"That's weddings!" hissed Pickles.

Nathan coughed. "Oh, yeah, right. Anyway… we called this thing… this conference… to… we're here 'cause we're dead."

The crowd's mutterings got louder. One of the reporters stood up. "What was that? What does that mean?"

"Dead! We're fucking dead!" Murderface shouted.

"Uh, yeah. He's right," Nathan said. "We're… uh… we're zombies now. Yeah. Like… like in the movies. So…" he said, but trailed off when he noticed Toki moving closer to the edge of the platform. "Toki, what the fuck are you doing?" he growled.

Toki didn't hear him. He didn't hear anyone. He couldn't really see anyone. All he could see was that giant mass of people in front of him; so much food to choose from. Everything else was in a haze. Pickles had been right, it was a buffet! There was so much food just sitting there within reach. And right in front was a very large piece of meat; it looked delicious, whatever it was. He groaned hungrily and jumped off the platform.

Before he knew what was happening, the music reporter known as "Fat Joe" was bleeding and suffering from extreme pain. Toki Wartooth was on top of him, ripping into his flesh. Fat Joe's mind was racing despite the pain; this was really fascinating. But, he was being eaten, and he wouldn't get to write about it. Then something clicked and he realized exactly what was happening. He screamed as loud as he could; most of the other reporters were screaming as well. Many tried to run over each other to get to the exits.

"Shit, Toki," Nathan muttered, then shrugged. If Toki was getting food, he was too. He jumped down from the platform onto the closest person and dug in. The rest of the band followed him off the platform. Press conference over; it was dinner time now.

As the uninjured press members poured out of the exits, still screaming, Charles stood in back, sighing. He couldn't believe he was thinking this, but he should have listened to Pickles; the press conference turned out to be a horrible idea so early. Luckily he'd had everyone who'd stepped foot in the conference room sign one of the new waivers. At least he'd been prepared for that.

He looked up and surveyed the carnage that was currently taking place. Everyone was just completely ripping into the people who weren't fortunate enough to get to the exits in time. Toki had managed to reduce Fat Joe to a rather small pile of uneaten flesh and bones in a very short time. The others were currently eating, oblivious to the noises being made by their food. It was disturbing to watch.

Toki smiled as he sat next to the destroyed corpse of his prey, licking the blood off of his fingers. He looked up and noticed Charles staring at them disapprovingly in the very back of the room, and his smile disappeared. "Wowee…" he whispered. "What dids I dos?"

Charles waited for the screams to stop before he came forward. "Everyone done now?" he asked.

"Hey," Pickles said, looking up from the woman he was eating. "I said it was gonna look like a buffet, and it did." He lifted up what was left of her leg and bit into it. "I was right."

"Shee, thish wouldn't've happened if shomebody hadn't shet us up for a fucking pressh conferenshe when we were hungry!" Murderface said, glaring at Charles. He bit into the arm he was holding like it was a perfectly normal thing to do. It practically was, in zombie terms, anyway.

"Well, are you not hungry now?" Charles asked.

"Not the sames as befores, but still hungrys," Skwisgaar said, bent over a body, eating its stomach. He looked up, bloody entrails dangling from his mouth. "Whats? I'm not dones yets."

Toki didn't say anything, and continued to lick his fingers. He looked up, hoping nobody would get mad at him for starting this. It wasn't like it was his fault, anyway. They were all hungry. They were all thinking the same thing. He just wasn't very good at holding it in, apparently.

"Yeah," Nathan said, looking down at the severed head in his lap. "I'm still hungry, but it's not as bad now. Brains?" he asked, offering the head to Charles.

"Uh, no thank you," Charles said, adjusting his glasses. "Can you all handle yourselves now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Pickles waved his hand vaguely. "Yeah, yeah, sure. We're good," he said with his mouth full.

Charles sighed. He wasn't exactly reassured by Pickles's words. "Well, that certainly could have gone better," he said. "Of course, it could have been worse, but…"

"Hey, we're not the ones who decided to have the press conference," Nathan said. He decided there weren't any edible parts left in the head, so he tossed it aside and stood up. "Remember? We said no."

"Well, we had to get the information out to the public…" Charles said, trailing off. He should have gone with a simple press release. They weren't ready for the public yet. This was a problem.

Toki stood up and looked around at everyone. "I feels much betters now," he said, smiling. "I bets I can plays Dance Dance Revsolutions now no problems!"

"Tokis, why does you thinks thats?" Skwisgaar said, rolling his eyes.

Toki shrugged. "'Cause I dos."

"Yeah, I think I feel a lot better, too," Pickles said.

"Well, that's good," Charles said. "You do remember you have another show in a few days, right?"

"Oh, right, right. Brutal!" Nathan said. "Our first show as dead guys. It'll be awesome!"

"You sure you're all up for it?" Charles asked.

"Shure, we'll be fine," Murderface said. "What'sh the worsht that could happen?"

Charles raised an eyebrow at him and gestured towards the carnage surrounding them.

"Oh, right," Murderface said. "That."

Charles sighed. They were going to be even harder to deal with now. This was definitely going to be a challenge. "Okay, I think we should get back now. You guys need to get cleaned up." He turned around and opened the door, holding it open for the others.

Nathan shrugged. "Yeah, guess we should," he said.

"That was funs," Toki remarked as they left. "We should do thats mores."