PART FIVE – The First Bit

The Duke's Manor inside Airdome. Enter Thevus, Hollin, Phindeaux and their entourage.

Hollin: This story of the lovers is very strange, Thevus.

Thevus: Too strange to be true. I never believe these elaborate stories or tales about magical ratskins. Both lovers and madmen have fertile imaginations, and they dream up tales that those with level heads can never understand. The madman, the lover, and the poet are all imaginative. One sees more demons than hell can ever hold: that's the madman. The lover, just as crazy, sees the beauty of a spire lady in a scavvy harlot's face. And the poet runs amok, creating new things in their imagination and giving them life with their pen. Vivid imaginations play mind tricks. If there's something too delightful, there must be a supernatural cause. And if there's something to fear in the dark, then how easy is it to imagine a chair is really a goblin?

Hollin: Yet their stories are consistent, and they all seem to have been influenced at the same time. This suggests there's more to the story than just make-believe. It's all very convincing, even if it's strange and a little astonishing.

(The lovers enter: Zander, Domos, Hermione, and Elaynia)

Thevus: Here come the lovers, full of happiness and flushed with love. Happiness, dear friends, happiness and love be yours forever more!

Zander: May you find more of both on your walks, at your table, and in your bed!

Thevus: So what do we have to occupy the three long hours between our feast and our marriage beds? Where is the entertainment manager? Is there a dance, or a play to reduce the agony of our waiting? Phindeaux, where are you?

Phindeaux: Here, Duke Thevus.

Thevus: What amusements do you have for this evening? A masque? Music? How can we make the time pass without some entertainment?

Phindeaux: Here is a list of the shows that are ready. Just choose which you would like to see first, my Duke.

Thevus: "The Battle with the Centaurs, to be sung by an Airdome eunuch with accompaniment by the harp". I don't think so. "The Religious Frenzy of the Drunken Women Tearing Apart Orgious (the singer) in Their Fury." Not again. They performed this when I came back from freeing Three Domes from an Orlock blockade. "The Nine Scholars Mourning the Death of Learning, Which Died of Neglect." Not exactly appropriate for a wedding ceremony. What's this? "A Long Short Play About Young Pyrius and His Lover Therese: A Very Tragic Comedy." A tragic comedy that is both long and short? That's like hot ice or cold forging. How can we follow this nonsense?

Phindeaux: It's a play, my Duke, consisting of only ten words, which is probably the shortest play I've ever heard of. But, it's too long by ten words, which makes it lengthy, because there's not one proper word or decent actor. This one (he points to the program) is certainly the tragedy, because Pyrius kills himself. When I watched a rehearsal, I must admit that they brought tears to my eyes –but I've never laughed harder while I cried.

Thevus: Who's putting it on?

Phindeaux: Laborers, who work here in Airdome. They've never done anything intellectual before, but have managed to force their rusty brains to memorize this play to celebrate your wedding.

Thevus: Well, we'll watch them, then.

Phindeaux: No, please, my lord. I've listened to them perform, and it's useless. Utterly horrible. Unless you can find amusement in their efforts to be actors. They have worked hard and suffered much to learn their parts.

Thevus: I'll hear this play. Their hard work should be rewarded, especially since they desire to celebrate our joyous day. Go, bring them in. Ladies, would you take your seats?

(Phindeaux bows and leaves)

Hollin: I don't know about this. I take no pleasure watching people make fools of themselves, or watching people do things that give them pain.

Thevus: Why, my sweet Hollin, you won't see any such thing here.

Hollin: He said that they have no talent.

Thevus: All the more reason that we should watch. We will take them seriously, even if they are horrible. They mean well, and we should value their intention over their performance. I've been in situations where learned men have tried to deliver formal speeches of welcome, only to freeze up, forgetting all they intended to say, and then not welcoming me at all. Despite their silence, I understood that they meant to welcome me and I valued the simple respect of their nervous performance. Much more then the empty words of faithless smooth-talkers. Lovers and simple men say the most when they are tongue-tied and speak the least, unless I'm much mistaken.

(Phindeaux enters)

Phindeaux: My Duke, an actor is ready to deliver the Prologue of the play.

Thevus: Then let him begin.

(A trumpet sounds. Pol Quin enters as the Prologue. He reads from a scroll, but completely ignores the punctuation.)

Quin: If we should offend, it's our intent,

That you should know, we come not to offend,

But to display our skill. That's what we intend,

That is the real reason for our play.

Consider then, we're here because of spite.

We have not come intending to please you,

Our real aim is. For your delight,

We are not here. That you should have no delight,

The actors are ready; by what they show

You'll know the plot –or all you need to know.

Thevus: (whispering) This fellow doesn't worry about his punctuation.

Zander: He's rushed the entire prologue. He hasn't learned to pause or stop at all. There's a lesson in this, my Duke. It's not enough to just speak, you have to speak correctly.

Hollin: Indeed. He's like a child learning an instrument. He makes sound, but it's all just noise and very confused.

Thevus: His speech was like a tangled chain. Nothing wrong with the links, but everything is all muddled up. Who's next?

(A trumpet sounds. Brato enters as Pyrius, Flexo as Therese, Squin as a Wall, Sato as Moonshine, and Skib as a lion. Quin continues as the Prologue, and steps forward as he introduces them)

Quin: Noble folk, you may wonder at our play

But wonder on, until truth makes all things clear.

This man is Pyrius. I hope that's clear.

This lovely lady is named Therese.

This man covered in plascrete represents Wall,

The nasty wall which keeps the lovers apart,

And through a hole in it they can only whisper,

So do not be confused when they do it.

This man, with lantern held aloft, plays Moonshine.

I will tell this secret to you.

By Moonshine these lovers had a plan

To meet at Ninus' tomb, and pledge their love.

This fearsome beast, which is called a Lion,

Scared Therese away from the tomb

Who had arrived first.

As she fled, she dropped her cloak,

Which the lion, who had a bloody mouth, shredded and stained.

Then Pyrius arrived, young, tall and handsome,

And finds the bloody remains of Therese's cloak.

And so he draws his blade, his terrible sword,

And pierces his boiling, bloody breast.

Therese, who is hiding nearby

Takes his sword and joins him in death.

Now we'll let Lion, Moonshine, Wall and the lovers

Explain everything through our play.

(All the players leave except for Squin the Wall)

Thevus: I wonder if the lion has a speaking part.

Domos: I wouldn't be surprised, my Duke. Why can't a lion speak, when this huge group of asses can?

Squin: In this play it does befall

That I, named Squin, will play a wall.

I am a wall, I will have you think,

That has in it a tiny chink

Through which the lovers, Pyrius and Therese

Did whisper, which was their only release.

This brick, this mortar, they are the proof

That I am the wall, and that's the truth.

And this is the chink, formed by my fingers

Through which the frightened lovers are forced to whisper.

(He demonstrates the chink to the audience)

Thevus: Could plasteel or rockcrete have spoken better?

Domos: That is the most intelligent dividing wall I've ever heard speak, my Duke!

(Brato enters as Pyrius)

Thevus: Pyrius approaches the wall. Silence!

Brato: (completely over-acting)

Oh, grim night! On, night with dark so black!

Oh, night, which always is when day has trottin!

Oh, night, oh, night, alack, alack, alack,

I fear my Therese's promise is forgotten!

And you: oh wall, oh sweet, oh lovely wall

That stands between her father's land and mine

You wall, oh wall, oh sweet and lovely wall

Show me your chink, to look through with my eye.

(Squin makes the chink with his fingers)

Thanks, courteous wall. Emperor guard you well for this!

But how can this be? No Therese do I see.

Oh wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss

Cursed be your stones for so deceiving me!

Thevus: I think the wall, having intelligence and the power of speech, should swear back.

Brato: (breaking character) Oh no, my Duke, he shouldn't. "Deceiving me" is Therese's cue. She's supposed to enter now, and then I'll spot her through the wall. Here she comes, you'll see.

(Flexo enters dressed as Therese)

Flexo: Oh wall, how often you have heard my moans

For separating my Pyrius and me

My reddened lips have often kissed your stones

Oh wall, with mortar, brick and stone inside thee.

Brato: (back as Pyrius)

I see a voice! To the chink!

I'll see if I can hear Therese's face.

Therese!

Flexo: My love! You are my love, I think?

Brato: Think what you want, I embrace your true love!

And like Limander, I am faithful still.

Flexo: And I like Helena, until I am killed.

Brato: Shafalus to Procrus was not so true.

Flexo: As Shafalus to Procrus, I am to you.

Brato: Oh kiss me through the chink in this terrible wall!

(He puts his lips to Wall's fingers)

Flexo: I kiss the wall's hole, not your lips at all.

Brato: Will you come and meet me at Ninny's tomb?

Flexo: Come what may, I'll go there now without delay.

(Pyrius and Therese leave)

Squin: And so, as wall, I have done my part.

And having done so, Wall may now depart.

(He exits)

Thevus: I guess the moon will now have to come between the two lovers.

Domos: There's no alternative, my Duke. Especially when the wall leaves.

Hollin: This is the silliest thing I've ever heard!

Thevus: Even the best actors are only pretending. The worst can't do any worse, especially if aided by imagination.

Hollin: Then it must be your imagination that aides them.

Thevus: If we think no less of them then they think of themselves, then they'll appear to be excellent men. Ah, here come two noble beasts, a man and a lion.

(Skib enters as Lion, Sato as Moonshine)

Skib: Noble ladies, whose gentle hearts may fear

The smallest monstrous mouse upon the floor,

May now, maybe, quake and tremble here

When Lion in his wildest rage will roar.

So now I, Skib the plumber, must confess

I play a fierce Lion, not a lioness.

If I should enter with a lion's roar

Then I would die upon this floor.

Thevus: A very gentle beast, most conscientious.

Domos: The beastliest actor I've ever seen, good Duke.

Zander: This lion is sly as a tube weasel.

Thevus: True, and cautious as a dustbat.

Domos: He's too cautious to act sly. But a tube weasel can catch a dustbat.

Thevus: His caution cannot overwhelm his slyness, I'm sure of that. No dustbat ever gets by a tube weasel. Let's let him figure out which he is, while we listen to the Moon.

Sato: This lantern represents a crescent moon, and I'm the Man in the Moon. I guess.

Thevus: This is all wrong. He should be inside the lantern. Otherwise he can't be the man in the moon.

Domos: He can't go in the lantern. There's a fire in there.

Hollin: I'm fed up with this moon. I think he should change.

Thevus: He's a dim moon, must be on the wane. But in all fairness, we should give him a chance.

Zander: Proceed, Moon.

Sato: All I've got to say is to tell you that this lantern is the Moon, and I'm the Man in the Moon.

Domos: Well, that's that then. Oh! Quiet now, here comes Therese.

(Flexo returns as Therese)

Flexo: This is old Ninny's tomb, but where is my love Pyrius?

Skib: Roar-r-r-r!!!

(Therese runs away, dropping her cloak on the ground)

Domos: Well roared, lion!

Thevus: Well run, Therese!

Hollin: Well…shone...moon! You shine very gracefully.

(Skib mauls Therese's cloak, and exits)

Thevus: Well mussed, Lion!

(Brato reenters as Pyrius)

Domos: Here comes Pyrius.

Zander: And there goes Lion.

Brato: (completely overacting)

Glorious moon, I thank you for your sunny beams

I thank you moon, for shining oh so bright

For by your gracious, golden, glittering gleams

I hope catch the faithful Therese in my sight.

But wait! Oh, spite!

But look, poor knight!

What dreadful thing is here!

Eyes, do you see?

How can this be?

My dainty sprite! My dear!

Your cloak and hood-

What? Stained with blood?

Come here, you angels fell

Oh fate! Come, come:

Cut thread and thrum

Quail, crush, conclude and quell!

Thevus: Such passion! The death of a dear friend would definitely make a man miserable.

Hollin: By the throne, but I pity him.

Brato: Why, Nature, did you Lions unfurl

Since a Lion has destroyed my lady dear?

Who is –no, was- the fairest girl

That lived and loved, who laughed with cheer.

Come tears, confound!

Out sword, and wound

The breast of Pyrius.

Aye, this left teat

Where the heart does beat

Thus I die, thus –thus-thus. (He pretends to stab himself)

Now I am dead;

Now spirit has fled

My soul is in the sky.

Tongue, lose thy sight

Moon, take your flight! (Moonshine exits)

Now die, die, die, die, die.

(He dies dramatically)

Domos: He rolled the lowest score on the die: one!

Zander: Less than one. Since he's dead, he's nothing.

Thevus: With the help of a medicae, he may still recover.

Hollin: Why did Moonshine leave before Therese comes back? How will she find her lover in the dark?

(Therese returns)

Thevus: I suppose she'll find him by starlight. Here she is, and she ends the play.

Hollin: I don't think this Pyrius deserves much sorrow. I hope she'll be quick.

Domos: It's a fine point as to who is the better, Pyrius as a man, Throne preserve us, or Therese as a woman, Throne protect us!

Zander: She's spotted him already. She must have night vision.

Domos: And she moans, listen:

Flexo: Asleep my love?

What, dead, my dove?

Oh, Pyrius, arise!

Speak, speak. Quite dumb?

Dead, dead? A tomb

Must cover your sweet eyes.

These perfect lips

This regal nose

These manly, hairy cheeks,

Are gone, are gone!

Loves must moan;

His breath has never reeked.

Loves valkyrie

Come, come to me

With hands as pale as milk

Lay sword in blood

And then you could

Cut silver cord like silk.

Tongue, not a word.

Come, trusty sword

Come, blade, my breast stab through (she pretends to stab herself)

And farewell, friends

So Therese ends.

I bid farewell to you.

(She dies)

Thevus: Only Moonshine and Lion are left to bury the dead.

Domos: And don't forget Wall, as well.

Brato: No, my lords. I can assure you that the wall that separated their two houses has been taken down. Would you like to see an epilogue, or maybe hear a rustic dance between two of our company?

Thevus: No thank you! No epilogue is needed. Do not apologize for your play. Since the actors are all dead, no one can be blamed. Now, if the author had played the part of Pyrius and hung himself with Therese's garter, then it would have been a fine tragedy. And so it was, and very well performed. The rustic dance, if you will. Forget the epilogue.

(The performers dance an Airdome folk dance)

The bell has tolled midnight. Lovers, to bed. It's almost time for the hive spirits to be about. I'm afraid I'll sleep in tomorrow for I've stayed awake far too late. This awful play has made time fly. To bed, my friends. Our celebrations will last for two weeks, with revelry each night and new entertainments.

(They all leave)

(Rusty enters with a broom)

Rusty: Now the hungry lion roars

And the ally rats will croon

While the exhausted workers snores

Weary from the tasks they've done.

Now the candles are burning low

While ripper-jacks, screeching loud

Makes the wretch who lives in woe

Think about a funeral shroud.

Now it is the realm of dark

When all the graves are gaping wide.

Each emits a ghostly spark

Which through dome tunnels glide.

And we ratskins, who all run

As servants of the Spirit Dream

Who prance and scamper with great fun

Through the hive from seam to seam,

Now are happy. Not a mouse

Shall disturb this happy house.

I've been sent, with broom in hand

To sweep the dust and move the sand.

(Overhang and Titanweb, king and queen of the ratskins, enter with their entire band. Each ratskin is wearing a headband with a flickering light set upon it.)

Overhang: Through this house bring glimmering light

To ease the weary dark.

Every ratskin here tonight

Must be ready on my mark

To sing a Song with me

And dance a Dance most perfectly.

Titanweb: First repeat the song by rote

And give each word a warbling note.

Hand in hand, with style and grace

We'll entice the Spirits to bless this place.

(Overhang takes the lead in the Spirit Dance)

Overhang: From now until the morning light

Through this house we shall alight.

We'll stand by Thevus' marriage bed

Where there'll be a blessing said.

All the children they bring forth

Shall be hivers of great worth.

And for all the couples three

Ever true in loving be;

Perfect children they shall bring

With blemishes upon no thing

No moles, harelips, nor any scar

No birthmark or flaws which often are

What parents fear, and deeply mourn

Shall affect the children they have born.

With this pure and blessed potion

Every ratskin sets in motion,

Each and every chamber bless

To give the manor peacefulness.

With the owner surely blessed,

Forever here he'll safely rest.

Quickly now, without delay;

Meet me all 'for break of day.

(They all leave except Rusty)

Rusty: If we actors have offended;

Think of this and all is mended:

You have only slumbered here

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and pointless theme

Was nothing better than a dream.

Gentle folk do not reprove;

Pardon us, and we'll improve.

And sure as I'm an honest rat

Who desires not a spat,

Should we avoid your scornful hiss

We'll soon amend what's gone amiss.

Else, on me your ire fall.

So good night unto you all!

Clap your hands if we be friends,

And Rusty soon will make amends.

(He leaves)

END