Take 9

(A/N) Sorry, you guys…I went to Mexico on a mission trip, and than got really, really, really busy with Chemistry. But I'm gonna try to do better!

Emmett has taught Eragon some slang…it's a bit of a set-up for a fanfic my brother and I are gonna start soon. Eragon has some interesting favorite terms

Eragon asked Emmett what he does for fun. Emmett's response?

Emmett: Well, I do a lot of things for fun…but I doubt you want to go hunting with me, and I'm not sharing Rosalie…SOO we could either play checkers, or we could prank call people. But I want you to use your new vocabulary that I taught you. *Winks *

Eragon: Dude, prank calling? (A/N The Vamps installed phones in Nasuada's camp…or something like that. I don't know…But they have phones now, ok?) Sweet!

Emmett: *Claps hands * Yay!!! I love prank calling!!!!! *Grabs phone and looks at it * Who should we call first? Hmmm…oh, I know! Alice!!!!! We can tell her the mall burned down!!!!!

Eragon: Oh, yeah, baby!!!!

Emmett: *Dials number *

Alice: Hi, you've reached the Fortune-Telling Hotline!!! Please hold while we check your future…

Emmett: *Stares at phone * Holy crap.

Alice: You're future has been determined. A partner-in-crime is headed your way…
Emmett: Holy. Crap.

Alice: In 5, 4, 3, 2…

*Doorbell rings *

Alice: …1

Emmett: Holy crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alice: Emmett, open the door.

Emmett: They know my name!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Eragon: I'll get the door… *Opens it * Hey Alice!

Emmett: *Sits on floor, rocking back and forth, and whispering: * They know my name, they know who I am, they know where I live…I'm gonna die.

Alice: Emmett.

Emmett: No. Emmett's not here. Leave a message at the tone. Beeeeeeep.

Alice: *Shrugs * Fine. Emmett? It's Alice. They don't know who you are. Well, they don't actually exist…You called my phone, and I saw that ahead of time, so I pranked you. The Fortune-Telling Hotline doesn't exist…But, on second thought…It could…

Emmett: Oh. Really?

Eragon: *Rolls eyes * Yeah.

Alice: So. You need help. I saw some of the stuff you were gonna tell people. I don't like it. It's not funny enough.

Eragon: Wait, so you're just butting in?

Alice: *Raises eyebrows * You got a problem with that?

Eragon: Well, no…

Emmett: Fine. You can help, Alice.

Alice: *Jumps up and down in glee, clapping hands * Yay!!!!!!!!!

Emmett: Okay, who next?

Eragon: Arya.

Emmett: Your girlfriend?

Eragon: She's not my girlfriend!!!!!!

Alice: I have a bad feeling about where this is going…

Emmett: Oh, Alice, shut up, ok? We'll let you help, but we're the bosses, ok?

Alice: Fine. *Rolls eyes * Whatever.

Eragon: *Grabs phone, dials number *

Arya: Hello?

Eragon: *In creepy voice * This is your secret admirer…

Arya: Eragon, stop it. You know I don't love you, like you, or am otherwise attached to you. You are a dragon-rider, but that doesn't mean I want to marry you.

Eragon: But…

Arya: You heard me. *Hangs up phone *

Emmett: Ouch.

Alice: No kidding. That's why you need my help.

Eragon: *Looks all sad *

Alice: Don't worry, she'll apologize soon.

Emmett: Okay, who's next? Hmmm…Ooh!!!! Carlisle!!!

Alice: We can pretend to be the hospital. We'll tell him we've found a replacement for him, and he's been laid off.

Emmett: *Starts to laugh * Heck yes!!!!!

Alice: *Grins evilly * I'll do this one *Dials number in phone *

Carlisle: Hello?

Alice: Dr. Cullen?

Carlisle: Yes, that would be me.

Alice: I'm sorry to inform you that we have found a replacement for your position at the Forks Hospital. We will no longer be requiring your services.

Carlisle: What?! But I've been working there for years! I'm your best surgeon!!!

Alice: *hangs up phone, laughing * Hahahaha!!!!! Got him.

Eragon: When are you going to tell him the truth?

Emmett: We won't.

Alice: He'll call the hospital, and then they'll reassure him that they would never fire him, and he'll know it was us messing with him.

Emmett: Who next?

Eragon: Murtagh.

Alice: Hahahaha!!!!!!!! This is gonna be great!!!!!!

Eragon: Oh…right. You can see the future.

Alice: You only just remembered?

Eragon: Well…

Emmett: What are we gonna say?

Alice: Emmett, you should call him…tell him that he's going to get picked up by a huge dragon and taken to the dragon's mountain.

Emmett: Wow, you have some weird ideas.

Alice: *Shrugs * Well, sometimes you get these feelings…(A/N I'm just sticking in some stuff that's gonna be in the other fanfic…even though the other one isn't going to have Twilight in it *gasp! *, it's gonna have Eragon, so I thought I'd connect the two for fun. Don't expect Twilight characters in the other one though.

Eragon: Ok, I guess that'll work.

Alice: Of course it will. I know these things. *Nods confidently *

Emmett: *Picks up phone and dials number *

Murtagh: Hello? (A/N Ok, I know I'm doing a lot of these, but I need to clarify something…Murtagh is not with Galbatorix right now. He doesn't have a dragon yet either.

Emmett: Hi! I just wanted to let you know that…

Alice: *Making frantic hand motions at him *

Emmett: Oh, right! You're gonna be abducted by aliens and carried off to a mountain… *smiles * And there, you'll be locked up in the tallest room in the highest tower…I mean, the highest room in the tallest tower.

Murtagh: What?

Emmett: You did hear me, right?

Murtagh: Yeah…I think. You said I would be abducted by aliens? What the heck? Who are you? How do you know my number?

Emmett: *Hangs up phone, grinning * How was that, Alice?

Alice: Well, not exactly what I told you to say, but I'd say that did the trick. *Smiles *

Eragon: Ok, who next?

Emmett: Hmmm…Esme!!!

Alice: *Grins widely * Yesssss!!!

Eragon: Ok, what do we tell her?

Emmett: That Jasper ate Bella.

Alice: No no no!!! That Isle Esme was completely wrecked by a tsunami. And now it is returning underwater.

Emmett: That's a great idea!!!!

Eragon: Ok, who's telling her?
Alice and Emmett: *Both look at Eragon *

Eragon: Me?

Emmett: *Nods * Mhmm!!!

Eragon: Ok… *Grabs phone from Emmett and dials number *

Esme: Hello!

Eragon: Hello, ma'am?

Esme: Mhm?

Eragon: I don't know how to break this to you kindly…

Esme: What? Did Jasper eat Bella?!?!?!

Eragon: Um, no…Isle Esme has been struck by a tsunami…it is no longer there.

Esme: *Gasp! Thud *

Emmett: Did she just faint?

Alice: That's impossible.

Eragon: Hello? Ma'am?

Emmett: She fainted.

Alice: But that's impossible!

Eragon: *Hangs up phone * Well, that got a good response.

Emmett: Yeah, the first vampire in history to faint. Eragon, my friend, you've set a record. Only person to cause a vampire to faint. Hi-five!!! *Hi-fives Eragon *

Eragon: Ouch!!!!!!!

Alice: Emmett, don't hit humans so hard.

Emmett: Oh, right…sorry, Eragon.

Eragon: It's all right…oh, man, my poor hand.

Emmett: Now who?

Alice: Hmmm…

Eragon: King Galbatorix!!!!!!!!!!

Emmett: Oh, yeah, baby!!!!!!

Alice: You guys are so weird. And you have death wishes. But since I'm here, it should be fine…Lemme check…yeah, we'll be fine.

Emmett: Woohoo!!!!!!!!

Eragon: Ok, who's gonna talk to him?

Alice: Emmett should. That would be funniest, I think.

Emmett: Uh-huh!!!!! Oh, yeah! All right!!!! Woohoo!!!! *Dancing around randomly *

Alice: *Raises eyebrows * Emmett. Earth to Emmett.

Emmett: Houston, we have a problem.

Alice: What is it?

Emmett: I dunno, what's your problem?

Alice: Really? Emmett, come on. I mean, really??? *Rolls eyes * Don't you want to call the king?

Emmett: Oh, yeah! Right! Ok, where's that darn phone?

Eragon: Here it is!

Emmett: Ok, what am I gonna say, Eragon?

Eragon: Hmmm…say that you're his secret admirer…that will probably work better than it did with Arya… *Blushes * Man, that sucked.

Alice: That will work…and Eragon, like I said before, don't worry about it.

Emmett: Woohoo! *In sing-song voice * I get to call a king, I get to call a king…wait, I get to prank call a king!!!!!!

Alice: *Rolls eyes again * Geez, Em, come on, call him already, then.

Emmett: *Dials number *

Galbatorix: Yes?

Emmett: Hi!!!!!!

Galbatorix: Yes???

Emmett: Hi!!!!!!

Galbatorix: YES???????

Emmett: Hi!!!!!! Don't hang up!!!!

Galbatorix: Why not?

Emmett: I'm your secret admirer!!!!!

Galbatorix: Really? Er, I mean, I have many of those.

Emmett: But I'm your biggest fan!!!!!!!!!

Galbatorix: That's what they all say.

Emmett: But I seriously am!!!!!! I love your style!!!!!

Galbatorix: You do?

Emmett: Heck yes!!!!!!!

Galbatorix: That's so nice of you!

Emmett: I know, right? I'm a very nice person. I think you're amazing.

Galbatorix: Thank you!!!!

Emmett: And you know what else?

Galatorix: What?

Emmett: You have the most amazing eyes.

Galbatorix: Well, thank you!!!

Emmett: Yeah, and your hair is to die for!!!!!!!

Galbatorix: Umm…I don't really have any…

Emmett: Exactly!!!!! It's awesome!!!! Only really manly people can pull off baldness the way you do!!!!!!!!

Galbatorix: Well, I'm flattered…

Emmett: You should be!!!!! There's not many people who can boss around an army the way you do, either.

Galbatorix: Well, you see, that, I've had a lot of practice in.

Emmett: And I've had a lot of practice in lying. April fools!!!!!

Galbatorix: Wait— *phone hangs up *

Emmett: *Cracks up hysterically * Man, he totally fell for it!!!!!!!!

Alice: *Between giggles * That was awesome!!!!!

Eragon: *Rolling around on floor, holding stomach * Oh, man, that was so great!!!!!!

Emmett: I know, right? April fools!!!!!!

Alice: *After a little while of laughing * Okay, we need to calm down…Bella and Edward are coming in a few minutes, and we still need to prank them some other time.

Emmett: Ok. *Tries to stop laughing *

Eragon: Yeah. *Tries as well *

Bella and Edward walk in the door.

Edward: What are you guys laughing at?

Alice: Nothing, nothing, go upstairs and do whatever it is you guys do.

Emmett: *Having trouble keeping in his laughter *

Edward and Bella go upstairs

Eragon: *Snorts *
Emmett and Eragon: *Laugh hysterically again *

A/N Ok, so I hope that was worth the wait!!!!! Review please!!!!!

Reviews = Virtual Milkshakes