Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed Destiny or any of its characters.

Recovery

[Shinn's POV]

I stabbed my sword into the enemy ship and flew off, watching it explode emotionlessly. I examined the battlefield intensely when I noticed that the Archangel, along with the Freedom, were long gone. Huh. It seems that they escaped. I thought in distaste. I wheeled around and started to fly back to the victorious Minerva when the small screen before me flickered and the Captain's face appeared before me.

"Shinn, are you okay?"

I blinked in confusion. Surely she didn't contact me just to ask me this... "I'm fine."

"That's good. You did pretty well out there, Shinn," Captain Gladys allowed herself a small smile.

"... Thanks," I answered after a brief pause. She didn't normally do this. I wondered what was coming next.

"In any case, to get straight to the point, I want you to recover Athrun," she continued. "Don't waste any time. We don't know how he's doing in the middle of the ocean. Contact me as soon as you confirm his location."

The screen flickered and died. That's right. Commander Zala actually lost. So much for being called an ace. I shrugged inwardly and plunged into the water, scanning the ocean bed for any signs of the Saviour. It didn't take me long to locate the mobile suit. I couldn't help but feel scorn rising inside me towards the pilot sitting within the mobile suit. He, who had slapped me twice, had actually lost. And he's my commander, no less. I pushed away the negative feelings within me and tried to contact my defeated commander.

"Athrun? Athrun? Are you alright?"

No response. That's strange. I was positive that he wasn't hurt in the battle at all. The Freedom didn't even touch the cockpit. He couldn't have been hurt. Could he? I immediately connected my communication device with his, my screen flickering repeatedly before finally getting a stable connection. I glanced at the screen and almost growled in exasperation. He seemed fine. Why was he ignoring me, then? Too ashamed of his defeat, maybe?

"Athrun! Will you..." my voice trailed off.

I scrutinized the screen carefully and realized that Athrun was bent over his helmet, clutching it for all it was worth. His arms and shoulders were visibly shaking violently. Alarm shot through me as I took in the sight. I wasn't even able to smirk in satisfaction in seeing someone higher ranked than me in such a pathetic state. I didn't know why but I was suddenly terrified that something unpleasant, if not horrible, had befallen my commander. But physically, he looked fine! What was wrong with him?

"Athrun...," I choked out breathlessly, trying to hide my fear. "Are you okay? Athrun? Athrun? Answer me, damn it!"

The fear that I had been denying escaped full force and overwhelmed me with such a speed that I almost couldn't breathe. What is this? Why am I so... afraid? What am I supposed to do? I didn't why but I couldn't just bring him back to the Minerva like this.

"Athrun! Damn it. I know you can hear me," I growled, biting my lip when I received nothing in response.

Some part of me told me that I shouldn't bring him back the Minerva now. But, then, what was I to do? I shook away my doubts and decided to contact the Captain when I glanced at Athrun again. I froze when I saw clear water droplets cascading down his cheeks before falling onto his helmet. He's... he's crying? At that moment, I realized that he wasn't going through that kind of physical pain. Relief filled me from scalp to toe when I realized that he was fine. Physically, anyway.

I took in a deep breath and watched him intensely. In all honesty, I didn't know what to do. I tried to rack my brain for an answer but if there were any at all, none of them came to my mind. I mean, what were you supposed to do when your task was to recover your fallen commander who was crying before you without saying a word? Those instructors who taught me during my time as a soldier-in-training didn't seem to find it necessary to teach me what to do in this kind of situation. So much for thoroughness.

"Athrun," I called out, trying to make my voice calm and soothing if it were possible. "Athrun, don't ignore me this way. Do you want to stay here forever?"

I waited with exaggerated patience as I was completely ignored. His shoulders had slowly ceased trembling, though I could still see his hands shaking on his helmet. The tears that dropped out of his eyelids flowed much more slowly too. I allowed myself to sigh in relief to see my commander slowly regain his composure. I never knew that seeing someone higher ranked than me being in that state could shake me so much. I had always thought that, should I ever have the luck to see someone who had the authority to order me around behave so, I would laugh and jeer mockingly at that particular person. But now that I was presented with such a situation, I found myself rendered incapable to even look at him in disdain. Just what was it with this guy? He, from the first day we met, had always awed me, though I would never admit it to his face.

I swallowed and squinted my eyes at the suddenly flickering screen. I realized with alarm that I was going to lose my connection with Saviour.

"Come on, Athrun! Stop behaving like a kid!" I nearly shrieked at him. "Is this how you behave before your subordinate? Get a grip on yourself!"

I watched intently for an infinitesimal minute, my impatience growing rapidly. I knew I could just bring him to the Minerva, but, although I didn't know why, I didn't want to. Not this way. I jerked in surprise when he suddenly sniffed and wiped his tears away with his right arm slowly.

"That's right," I murmured soothingly, wondering what to say next when I suddenly remembered the words the grey-haired Captain from Orb had told me. That person had tried to console me after that had happened. "Take deep breaths. This is Shinn, in case you haven't noticed yet. I'm here to recover you. Do you -"

I looked up in irritation as another screen flickered itself on. Captain Gladys arched her eyebrows at me expectantly. "Shinn, is something wrong? Haven't you found him yet? If you need help, I could send Rey down."

"No... It's fine. I'm just...err... caught up with my thoughts. I'll search for him immediately," I answered hastily, switching off the link between the Minerva and me without thinking.

"Why'd you do that?" a familiar but cracked voice whispered up to me.

I shifted my gaze to the other screen in surprise. Looks like he still has the ability to talk. I thought randomly. I cleared my throat and gave him an are-you-really-that-dense look. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at my response. I sighed in exasperation, seeing that he was unable to find the obvious answer.

"Because of you, you dumbass," I muttered, ignoring the fact that he was my superior. "Maybe I'm wrong or something, but I just thought that you needed some time to collect yourself. I mean, do you want to return to the ship in your current state of mind? As far as I know, you might just bawl your eyes out in front of everyone, and from my perspective, even someone like you wouldn't want that."

He looked at me quietly with a strange glint in his eyes before bowing his head a bit, causing small blue locks of hair to fall over his face. He glanced at me suddenly and allowed a small smile to adorn his normally serious features. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"You better. I don't think that I like floating around among fishes, you know," I growled in response. I couldn't help it then. But I felt kind of... exultant that I actually managed to get Athrun to compose himself. Who would have known the stubborn and arrogant Shinn Asuka would actually be able to achieve something like that, huh? I smirked silently to myself when a thought suddenly interrupted my smug mood. I observed Athrun for a moment, wondering if I should do it. Come on, he practically slapped me in the face twice in front of everyone. The humiliation was something I was unlikely to forget.

I sighed dramatically. I knew I was going to give in anyway. Damn it... This guy... He's making me as soft as... him! Ugh. I cleared my throat again to gain his attention. As he looked up at me with those emerald eyes of his, I muttered, "When you think that you're calm enough, call me. I'm just beside your mobile suit. Let me tell you though, if I can't contact you, I'm bringing you back to the Minerva immediately. Che. The communication lines here are crap." I looked him in the eye briefly, before switching off the screen.

I sighed again for the millionth time today. I thought over the battle that had occurred previously to Athrun's defeat. It was kind of weird. I was so busy exploding the enemy ships that I didn't get to see his battle with the Freedom carefully. But, Athrun... He's Athrun Zala, the former ace of Zaft who destroyed the Strike, the most powerful mobile suit then. How did he lose so easily? From what I heard, he was an ace through and through. His speed, moves and everything about his combat skills were considered unbeatable. So, what was this? Was it possible that his 'amazing' skills had deteriorated over the years?

I shook my head violently and folded my arms. That guy was downright mysterious. It was bad enough that he was my commander, but to actually be defeated by none other than the Freedom? I doubted that the battle even lasted more than five minutes. I tapped my feet impatiently, reminding myself that he needed a moment. I wondered what could possible have happened to knock down his barriers that way. Hmm... The Freedom... He must be one of the reasons why. Athrun couldn't possibly have broken down that way because he was defeated. I mean... He's my bloody commander! That damn pilot of the Freedom would really pay if I found myself without a commander suddenly...

Honestly, I didn't know why I even cared. Athrun and I had mostly fought. There was never a conversation between us where we wouldn't clash. But I couldn't bring myself to hate him. His words were, in a way, righteous, as much as I hate to admit it. I felt kind of bad for him, sometimes. Especially when that annoying blonde Atha had hurt his feelings unintentionally about the fall of Junius Seven. I wanted to hate him as much as I hated Atha. I mean, why the hell was he her bodyguard? In Orb? But, I knew, deep inside, that he was suffering as well, though that fact didn't bother me at all when we were falling out.

I muddled over the scene that he had displayed towards me a moment ago. I was more alarmed than I should have been. It's not everyday I see a commander or anyone bursting into tears before me. And, of all people, I never dreamed that it would be him either. A commander... I knew that, in actual fact, I respected him and was in awe of his presence. Something about him made me calm, and that was what infuriated me the most. But, to get back to the point, it was almost frightening to see him that way. I always believed that he, being Athrun Zala, both my commander and superior, would always be better than me, wiser than me, stronger than me. Nothing could possibly shake him. He was, more or less, untouchable. But, I was proven wrong.

To think that the one person whom I actually looked up to could possible break down that way, it made me feel helpless. And angry at the Freedom for making him this way. I scowled and glared balefully at the fishes before me, almost wanting to incinerate them in my annoyance. All of a sudden, the screen before me flickered and Athrun's face appeared, seeming quite calm and collected. I directed my glare at him, not surprised that he didn't flinch like other people normally would. Hey, I wasn't being unreasonable. Maybe I was venting my frustration on him, but he was one of the reasons as to why I was so furious.

He arched an eyebrow at me curiously. "I think," he hesitated. "I think that I'm... ready now." I simply looked at him blankly, not knowing how to respond. He tilted his head and continued, seeing that I wasn't going to reply. "Shinn, I want you to know that I'm really grateful towards you and everything. I would never have expected this out of you."

"Of course you wouldn't," I muttered sullenly. "You know, you could have told me this later on. It'll just make it all the more awkward between us when we're in the changing room." I placed the Impulse's arms carefully around his ravaged mobile suit and headed back to the ship.

"I... might not be able to tell you all this later on. Even if I were to tell you, I would only be able to after a long time," he gazed at his seemingly precious helmet, refusing to meet my eye.

I frowned in confusion. What did he mean? I gave up trying to figure him out and turned my attention to nothing in particular. "So, you sure that you want to return to the ship now?"

"Actually, no. But let's just go back. I wouldn't want the fishes to die of horror in having to endure your glares," he answered.

I felt both a flare of irritation and relief at his words. He really seemed to have gotten a grip on himself. "Yeah, me neither," I played along. I contacted the Minerva and requested permission to enter. After gaining permission, I placed the Saviour down gently and righted the Impulse before getting off. I observed Athrun getting out of his mobile suit and found myself amazed. That guy... He was crying just minutes ago and now, he's walking towards the changing room with such... grace? Elegance? I couldn't find the right words.

He held his purple helmet in his right hand as he jumped off the edge of Saviour, landing with a light thud on the floor. I studied his face but couldn't detect anything that would betray his calmness. I scowled at his ability to be so collected. Why can't I be like that? He started moving towards the changing room without a backward glance, with me following suit.

[Athrun's POV]

I changed into my Zaft red uniform silently, my back facing Shinn. Having almost mastered the art of hiding my innermost feelings in front of others, I was positive that nothing in my facial expression showed anything that I didn't anyone to see. I refrained from thinking over everything that had happened. As usual, I would wait until I was alone. Again. I heard Shinn slam his locker shut just as I closed mine. I paused, not knowing how to face him.

With my hand on my locker, I simply stared at the wall. I could feel his gaze on me but I didn't move. What the hell was I supposed to do? Smile, talk or maybe I should just ignore him. But that would be wrong. He helped me for goodness knows why and if I ignored him, I would be such an ungrateful idiot. I couldn't bring myself to smile either, not after what had happened. Taking a deep breath, I turned to face the raven-haired boy.

"Shinn," I began, avoiding his eyes. I was positive I would lose it if I so much as look at those flaming red eyes.

"What?" He folded his arms nonchalantly.

I clenched my fists tightly. Let this conversation end already. It's dead awkward trying to speak to him now. "I -"

"Shinn, Commander."

Rey? I tilted my head slowly and saw Rey entering the room. I nodded in response as relief flooded through me. Great. Now, at least I could escape without feeling so suffocated. It was weird how much I bothered over this kind of confrontation when I had so many other things in my mind.

Rey brushed his gaze against mine and visibly relaxed. "I'm glad you're fine, Commander." He shifted his gaze towards Shinn. "Shinn, that was good work out there."

"Thanks, Rey," Shinn smiled, his features brightening considerably. I always found it strange that Rey could actually take him in hand so easily. "Rey, where's Luna?"

"She's in the infirmary. Broke an arm. She's doing pretty fine, though. Just needs some rest," he answered smoothly, seeming unperturbed at Shinn's horrified expression.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and started for the door. "I'll be in my room," I informed them, eager to escape the company. I strode out without waiting for a reply.

I sighed dramatically. I could hardly believe that Shinn Asuka, the ruby-eyed teenager who kept defying my orders, had actually given me a hand that way. I knew that despite being socially awkward, he was actually a kind, caring but hot-tempered person. But never did I ever find it necessary to think that he would do that for me. I had thought that he would have mocked me at the least.

I entered my room and leaned against the wall, pulling my knees against my chest. I placed my chin on my knees and wrapped my arms around them. I could feel the breakdown that I had shuffled off 'till now building inside of me. I closed my eyelids and waited slowly, allowing my heart to burst open as the layers of ice I had built around it melted like ice too close to fire.

Just as the unforgiving feelings burst forth and racked through me, I heard the door open, much to my horror. The ache in my heart pounded against my chest repeatedly, washing away the slight indignance that I felt at the intrusion.

"Athrun?"

I sucked in a deep breath. It was Shinn. I lifted my chin somewhat and muttered hoarsely, "What is it?"

The silhouette standing by the door stood frozen for an infinitesimal minute before taking a few steps forward. I averted my eyes as he bent down beside me.

"Athrun, are you... Are you okay?"

My eyes pricked strangely at his words. It had been a very long time since anyone asked me that. I couldn't remember when was the last time anyone bothered to see if I was alright. I was never alright, and no one had seemed to care. So, I had taken it in my stride and endured going through my life alone; suffering alone; crying alone. I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I looked away, not knowing how to answer.

"Do you...," my voice cracked. "Do I look okay to you?"

I felt him study me silently as I struggled to hold in the hurt. After an infinitesimal minute, he took a few steps forward as the door closed and bent down beside me. He looked away and leaned against the wall as well without saying a word, the silence enveloping us like a shroud.

"Why are you here?" I finally broke the silence.

He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I don't know."

"Is that so?" I whispered. "Please leave the room, Shinn. I need to be alone."

"No... I won't, and you don't. You don't need to be alone, Athrun. You want to be alone. And you know what? I'm not going to help you fulfill that wish."

My head snapped up and I peeked at him through the locks of my untamed hair. With all the emotions that were pulsing through me, I found it hard to concentrate on his words. "What are you going to do now, then?"

"I'm going to stay here until you tell me what happened, that's what."

"And what makes you think that I will tell you anything?" I asked, disbelief colouring my tone.

He looked at me through the corners of his eyes and shrugged. "Because you will, eventually."

"As if I would," I muttered. "It doesn't have anything to do with you, Shinn."

"Yes, it does," he snapped. "I think that, after seeing my all-so-mighty commander in this state, I deserve an explanation."

"Well, as your commander, I'm saying that you're not going to get any explanation," I hissed.

He glared at me for a minute before he visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping by his side. "Well, I'm not leaving until I get one."

After going through the battle with the Freedom, my tolerance snapped under the pressure that was pressing on my shoulders. "And why would you want to know? To satisfy your curiousity? I am deeply grateful for your help earlier on, but that doesn't mean that I'll tell you anything."

"It's not for the mere reason to quench my curiousity, Athrun! I'm doing this because I want to know what could have possibly happened that could put someone like you into the pathetic state you're in now."

"Exactly! And I'm asking you why you want to know," my voice strained on the last word. I didn't think I could exercise self-control much longer.

"Whether you like it or not, I'm going to stay put until I know what happened," he retorted. He frowned, watching me flinch under his gaze. "Look, Athrun. I'm not here to gloat over your situation or anything. I'm doing this because I'm worried. It's not everyday I see anyone, much less you, crumple like that. If you want to talk about it -"

"And why would you even care?" I interrupted, fury quickly replacing the grief inside me. "Why would you? There's no reason why you would even be here! Except for the reason that you do want to taunt me."

"What the hell do you mean?" he asked me exasperatedly. "And do you think I'm that low? That I'll actually feel happy over my fallen commander? Maybe I'd scorn him but I wouldn't be happy over it."

"It doesn't matter. Damn it! Why can't all of you stop lying to me? Stop pretending to be nice to me. You'd just make it worse than it already is."

"I'm not pretending! What is it with you, Athrun? Why in the world would I pretend?"

I glared at him, my anger boiling full force. "Because I'm a Zala, that's what! Stop pretending that I'm not a monster or something. I know all of you hate me to the core."

He stared at me, confusion evident in his features. "And why would we hate you? Because you're a Zala?"

"Exactly that! Because I'm just as capable as my father was to try and annihilate anyone that I hate. Because no matter what I do, I'll always be a replica of him! So, stop treating me like I'm human! Because I'm not. I might just follow in his footsteps and there's nothing I could do about it. I know how all of you look at me. All you see is... him."

Shinn suddenly grabbed me by the collar and brought our faces nearer 'till we were inches apart. "Stop spouting rubbish already, Athrun! What the hell happened to make you say all that crap? So what if your father did all that? You're you, Athrun. What he did has nothing to do with you. You're not him. You're two separate individuals who have two different ways of thinking."

I narrowed my eyes at him as tears started to escape from my eyelids. "Stop lying to me! You're saying the exact same words that he did! Why can't all of you just tell me the damn truth already? Am I so incapable that I'm not allowed to know?"

The ruby-eyed teenager tightened his grip on my collar, cutting off my air entirely. "I've had it with you and your crap! What I'm saying is the truth. You're what you make yourself to be! If you think that you're your father, then you are. But if you think that you're you, then... you're you! Athrun Zala and Patrick Zala are not the same person. A parent's actions alone do not decide their children's actions. It can affect the actions but it doesn't decide it. You being strong-willed, determined, righteous, and even hopeless... All those traits... They're what it means to be you. Your feelings and everything, none of them belongs to your father. Do you understand that? Athrun Zala?"

He shook me violently and waited for a response. I clutched his hand and struggled against his grip. He widened his eyes when he realized I couldn't breathe and let his hold on me go immediately. I gasped as the air I was once deprived of rushed into my lungs. I tried to regain my composure as I took deep breaths but my incessant tears betrayed me.

"Stop it," I whispered. "Stop saying all that to me. If... If what you're saying is true, then why did he say it? Why?"

He flicked his eyes at me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Athrun, I know that maybe I really have nothing to do with this. But, I want you to tell me. What happened out there?"

I felt his gaze on my face and I hesitated. I inhaled deeply and told him slowly about what Kira had said. As I finally delivered the last word, I sighed. I wiped my tears away, only to have my cheeks drenched again in the onslaught of tears. Shinn appeared horrified at my words, his hand having stiffened at my shoulder.

"Athrun," he suddenly spoke up. "You told me that many had told you those very same words that that asshole had spoken. Why are you so affected now?"

"Why wouldn't I be affected, Shinn?" I swallowed painfully. "He was my best friend. It was one thing to hear a stranger utter it and another thing entirely when the person whom I had known since I was four or five to tell it to my face. He was the person who knew and understood me the best. If even he could tell me that, how could I believe that none of you hate me?"

A strangled sob escaped my lips before I could help it. I shrugged his hand off as I re-wrapped my arms around my knees again, hiding my face from him as I buried my face in between them.

"Look, Athrun. Don't believe a word that bastard said. He's no friend of yours. You have to pick yourself up. Trust me, none of his words were true."

I lifted my head to take a look at him. I wanted so badly to just give in and believe him, like how I believed Kira. But... what if it turned out to be a lie again? I didn't think I would be able to live anymore.

He looked me in the eye and then did the one thing I would never have dreamed that he would do. He shifted his body to face me and, after a brief moment of hesitation, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. My mouth opened in a wide 'o' as I was pulled tightly against him.

Before I had the chance to speak after getting over my initial shock, he spoke up quietly. "If you want me to get the hell out of your sight, tell me now. I'll get lost and I'll never appear before your eyes again if I could help it. Trust me, I don't find any joy in doing this either," he hesitated. "The only reason as to why I'm doing this is because, when I lost my family, this was what I wanted the most. To have someone to be there for me and would comfort me whenever I needed it. So, just... just do whatever you want. I'll leave when you want me to."

My eyes widened considerably as his words entered my ears. For the first time in more than two years, I cried my heart out in the presence of another.

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