A/N: Okay, this was semi inspired by the OC. Summer and Seth had just started going out and Summer was ignoring Seth at schoole etc. and Seth tells her how he feels and that he won't stand for it. I've always seen Lily as someone afraid of commitment I guess, and thought this would be a good idea. It's a big jump from where the 'story' was going originally. Where I last wrote from it was about November/December. This is February, nearing Valentines day. I never did say I'd follow the months exactly, did I?
Never mind, ENJOY!
hugs
missgeorgeweasley
p.s GUESS WHO SAW GRIZZLY BEAR LIVE ON TUESDAY NIGHT!!!!
Chapter Six: In which feelings are revealed
Lily was still getting used to the idea that she was in a relationship. James wanted to hold hands in corridors and walk her to class and kiss her in the public. Lily wanted to do nothing of the sort.
She figured that her business was her business and no one else's unless she wanted them to know.
Kissing in corridors? Holding hands? It was all completely overrated. She wasn't into all the smoochy sickly sweet stuff, yet she was feeling rather worried about the upcoming holiday – Valentines Day.
Surely James had noticed how she acted around him in public, not that many knew they were going out. Hell, only their close friends had found out three weeks after!
What would James do? Would he go all out? Or would he act like it was any other day and completely ignore the fact that this was a special day for Lily. This was, in fact, the first time she had had a boyfriend for Valentines Day. To put it plainly, she was scared shitless.
"Hey Lils, um, I need to talk to you." James said, tapping her slightly on the head. Lily blinked once and looked up the gorgeous face hovering above her. She could tell it was not a good talk by his eyes. Oh, Merlin, those eyes. They spoke his emotions more than his mouth. They were the key to his soul. She cowered at the sight of them, afraid of the news they would bring.
She nodded gravely, preparing herself and what was to come, and moved over to make room for him to sit down. He sat.
"What is it?" She asked, looking down at her hands. They began shaking and she held them stiffly in her lap.
"Why are you like this? Do you not want people to know we're going out? Are you afraid of what they might think? Because, basically Lils, you're not making me feel that great." James said softly, looking down as well.
"I know. I'm sorry." She whispered, daring herself to look into his eyes. Come on, Lily, you can do it. She did it, and her heart broke instantly.
"Are you? Honestly?" He asked. His voice had more strength in it this time, more meaning to it.
She nodded.
"Yes. It's just, I don't want to be one of, well, one of those couples. You know?" She said, her voice gaining confidence similar to his.
"I know, babe, I know." He said, taking her hands in his. "But listen, we don't have to be one of those couples. Whatever it takes for you to actually acknowledge that I'm alive, that I'm your boyfriend for Merlin's sake, I'll do it. Just, I can't be part of this relationship if you don't accept the fact that its here, its real. It's not just one of my crazy dreams." James said, laughing slightly. Lily breathed deeply and turned her body to face him.
"I'm just afraid, is all." She said, looking at him full in the face.
"Of us? Of what people will think? Famous, Lily Evans, favourite Potter hater, dating the prick? Oh my, what will people think?"
"No, not of that. I don't give a shit. It's my business, not theirs." Lily muttered, slowly chickening out.
"Then what?" James asked, not giving up.
"I'm afraid of my feelings, of how I feel about you."
"How do you feel?" Lily breathed in deeply and removed her hands from his. She looked down at them again and told her self she could do this. She was Lily Evans for Merlin's sake! She shut her eyes and whispered: "I, um, I love you."
She cringed as she heard James's sharp intake of breath and opened one eye. His face was bright and his mouth was a perfect, comical 'O'.
"I love you too." He replied, smiling softly at the beauty beside him.
"Really?" she asked, tears sparkling in her eyes.
"Really. But I was serious before. This is too hard for me. I can't be in this relationship alone. I'm not a one-man band anymore, Lils, I'm not the lone wolf. I have a girl and I want people to know!"
"Okay, okay. For you, I'll be part of your one-man band. Because I…I…I love you."
James left after that. Lily couldn't believe what she had got herself into. They were going to be one of those couple now. Horribly kissy and smoochy, lovey and needy, snogging in the hallways for all to see. But she had faced the facts. She had lived up to the fact that she was, undeniably, in love with James Potter. Shit, what had she just done?
A/N: Okay, so totally not happy with the ending. I rewrote that like ten times, but I couldn't come up with anything better.
So sorry if it doesn't live up to expectations! I also promised I'd do call outs this chapter, so, here goes:
Massive ass thank yous to everyone who has reviewed this and/or alerted this story, special thanks to:
thesunwillshine, IThinkI'mFallingForYou and alambil felicis
You guys are the bomb diggidy!
Keep reading and loving HP guys, it's what we were born to do!
love,
missgeorgeweasley
p.s sorry for any dodgy sentences, it's about one in the morning and I'm falling asleep as we speak, haha. The things I do for you!
