Yesterday, my parents let me go pick out a movie to cheer me up because the Super Awesome Dinosaur Fish of Mass Destruction that Live In Blue Volcanoes lost. We went to the movie rental place that always smells like barbeque sauce. The last time we went I asked the cashier dude why it smelled so weird and he rolled his eyes at me. Teenagers are not nice people.
The movie I picked out was Jurrassic Park. It had dinosaurs on it, so it looked really cool. My parents almost didn't lemme get it, but I pouted really sad and so we checked it out.
I got to stay up till 11:30 watching it! Now I'm outside playing dinosaurs with Mattie. He is not a good actor, because he's being so boring that I forgot he's there and tripped over him and got grass in my mouth.
"Oww!" I got up and did a huffy breath at Mattie. "Not fair, mister!" I want a popcicle now so I can wash the taste of grass outta my mouth. My favorite ones are the cherry ones that have the American flag colors on it and are shaped like crayons. Firecrakers.
Oh no. Alice is getting her mail. I can't let her see me! She'll bite my head off and stomp me into the ground like the T-rex off of Jurassic Park! Now I'm standing extra still like the people on the movie did so she can't see me. I don't feel like being decapitated or stomped on today, thank you.
Darnit. She sees me. She's wrinkling up her nose real tight. "What, in the queen's name, are you doing, Alfred?"
"I'm freezing so you can't see me. Only it didn't work out too perfectly."
"Freezing, hm? Well, while you were freezing, it seems your popcicle did the opposite. Haha." She turned around and went back to the mailbox.
"What do you mean by-" Oh. My popcicle melted all over on my shirt and everything. "Ewww. Hey, Allie!"
She spun around speedy quick. "Alice!"
"Same thing." I waved my hand the way mom does when she wants me to be quiet. "Gonna lemme borrow your hose?"
Alice scanned me. It was scary. "…Sure." She rolled her eyes acting all annoyed. Why was she acting so annoyed, anyway? This whole dellima was her fault and everything!
Wait, whys she going into her garage? The hose is in front of the rose bushes! When the old neighbors sprinkled their lawn, the sprinkler was plugged in from there! I would know perfectly well, cause I used that sprinkler's full extent until they were all rude and chased me off their lawn, like "Get away! This is the last straw!" Come to think of it, that's the day their house went up for sale.
She's finally coming back with a… OH GOD NO! NOT A SUPERSOAKER!
I just got doused! By a GIRL! This is worse than the whole soccer thing! That's it! I'm spraying her with my hose!
Now Alice is shaking all the water off like a dog. "Oh, now you've done it.!" She's smiling all creepy, like that Francis guy who lives down the street. Man, he's weird. The last time I saw him, he said he was planning on overthrowing the government and taking over the whole world! I'm not gonna let him do that till after I get to be President!
Also, Francis is gonna be a first grader, which means he's older than me and I have to obey him, so he's automatically cool. He is best friends with Ludwig's brother, and Antonio. I know this cause sometimes Francis tags along with Ludwig's brother when my soccer team has meetings and cheer on Antonio.
Alice is coming outta her garage again with… TWO SUPERSOAKERS! OH NO! I'm running like a speeding leopard. She's still wearing that scary smile. Aren't little girls supposed to be sweet and charming and not homicidal looking?
I ran into my house all panicked and screaming. My mom is giving me a raised-eyebrow look. Shouldn't she be protecting me and making me chocolate chip cookies by now? She says the words "No more Jurassic Park."
Bummer.
Also, another bummer. I left Mattie out there with Alice.
/x/
Supersoakers: the ultimate childhood weapon! I totally miss those.
