I've got the greatest awesome news ever! My birthday is in a few days! Not only that, but it's also the Fourth of July! Cool, right? We're gonna have a huge party in my backyard to celebrate it! Everyone on my street and on my soccer team got invited, plus some extra people. Like, Lovina's coming, but sister Feli is on another soccer team and was all sad about not getting invited, so I gave her an invite. Plus, Antonio and Francis didn't wanna go without Gilbert. And Kiku's sister Yong Soo wanted to come, so she'll be there. Nobody can say no to Yong Soo. She's just one of those girls.
Today we're planning my birthday, and buying some fireworks. It'll be soooo sweet! Also, we're buying my favorite thing in the world; cake mix! Cake is the best food ever. 'Specially the chocolate kind. My grandpa had some for his birthday, only we went inside and left it out, and some raccoons ate it. I still had some of what was left when mom wasn't looking, though. I tried to get some while she was paying attention, and she said that it wasn't sanitary. But I don't care, 'Cause who wants to pass up cake, that's what I'd like to know!
My mom turned to me and said the dumbest thing I ever heard. "Honey, I think you should invite Alice to your party. She's new, and this is a great way for her to make some new friends."
"Nooo! This is my party, Betsy! I don't want Alice there! She'll wreck it!" I said, very grown-up like.
She blinked at me. "Alfie, I've told you, don't call me by my name. You should invite her. You don't really have to talk to her, just let her come."
It sounded like my mom was trying to make a greement. Mommy and daddy make a greements all the time, but it usually just sounds like yelling. I negotiated cunningly. "Only if I can hide her in Abraham's doghouse. 'Cause that is only fair."
Mommy squinted at me like she was staring at the sun. "She will be invited, Alfred, or I am putting Abraham in a dog shelter."
I gulped. 'Cause what do you know? Betsy is also a cunning negotiator.
Now we're at home, and I hae to give an invitation to Alice Kirkland. Only we're outta actual invitations, so I have to give her one that has a teddy bear on it from when I was only four. Four year olds are tiny. I never noticed that 'till I became a big kid, though. 'Cause its hard to tell when you're a little kid yourself. Thankfully, I am a big boy now and can see differences. Just like the underpants commercial said.
I rang Alice's doorbell, and it has a pretty sound. I rang it again, and again, and again until Alice's mom answered the door wearing a furry robe and swung the door open. "Bloody hell, child! I don't want to buy any boy scout cookies! Stop coming here!" She yelled really loud.
"Don't worry, Madam." I patted her very assuringly. "I'm here for this!" I grinned real big and held out the invitation.
Her face softened a teeny bit. "Oh, alright, Alfred. She should be able to come. Thank you."
A fire alarm started going off in the kitchen, which made Mrs. Kirkland jump, and it ruined the moment. Darn. I was about to ask her to buy some boyscouts icecream. "Victoria! Make sure Charles hasn't destroyed the kichen!" Alice's mom shouted.
A boy's voice wailed through the kitchen."Mum! Todd set fire to the eggs!"
Another voice that sounded almost just like the first complained "But Charles toasted the bacon!"
An older girl's voice shrieked. "Todd! Charles! What is that? It looks absolutely ghastly!"
Mrs. Kirkland looked at me wearily. "Terribly sorry, but you have to leave now, alright?" I leaned inside the door to see what was going on, but Alice's mom snapped the door shut before I could see. I wonder what was happening?
I walked home and watched TV 'cause Krypto the Superdog was on. I love that show a lot. Sometimes I pretend Abraham is Krypto, and I'm Superman. That's what I was doing when Daddy came home.
"I'm home honey! Where's the cake?"
Mom looked at him like he was an alien. Man, that'd be cool! I love aliens! "George, what do you mean? Alfie's birthday isn't for a few days!"
He looked at her. "Betsy, today was Mattie's birthday."
I ran outta the room speedy quick. Why? Cause it looked like they were about to have a greement. A loud one.
/x/
Happy birthday to my favorite Alzheimer's disease inducing Canadian, Mathew Williams!
You've just gotten a glimpse of Alice's family. There will be more~! Here's the basic info on the families;
Alfie's dad; George. (Named after George Washington)
Alfie's mom; Betsy. (Named after Betsy Ross)
Alfie's dog; Abraham. (Abraham Lincoln)
Alice's mom; Elizabeth (Queen Elizabeth)
Alice's dad; John (John Smith?)
Alice's big sister; Victoria (Representing Wales)
Alice's older twin brothers; Todd and Charles (Representing Scotland and Ireland)
Eventually, there will be a Sealand =)
